The Fashion Hound Murders (22 page)

Amelia giggled. She enjoyed having a good-looking man in the house. So did Josie.

Josie was mortified when Ted pulled a saucepan out of the box to boil the angel hair pasta.

“Even I have one of those,” Josie said.

“Ah, but this is a very special saucepan,” Ted said. “Imported from Manchester. Manchester Road, that is.”

He drained the pasta, returned it to the pot, and added half the sauce. Then he checked the garlic bread in the oven.

“Madam,” he said to Josie, “if you will remove the garlic bread, dinner will be served.” Josie transferred the bread to a napkin-lined basket.

Ted tossed the pasta and sauce, poured it onto three plates, and added the remainder of the sauce.

“Voilà!” he said, and waved his wooden spoon with a flourish.

“Yum,” Amelia said.

“Sit down and tell me if it’s any good.”

Josie took a forkful. “This is delicious. I don’t want to ruin your dinner, but what’s been the fallout from today’s show?”

“Chris, my partner, called me an idiot and said I should have known any interview with Big Ike would be an ambush. But I never watch Ike. How would I know? Besides, I didn’t do anything wrong, so I thought I had nothing to fear. Guess Chris was right. I am an idiot. She wouldn’t let me drive the van. She says I’ve made Mobo-Pet notorious by defending snakes. She wants me to get rid of Jack.”

“Who’s Jack?” Josie asked.

“My scarlet king snake. Jim, a herpetologist friend, found him on a camping trip in Florida and gave him to me. Jack is less than two feet long, but he’s pretty. His body is striped with bands of red, black, and yellow. He looks almost like the deadly coral snake. Fortunately, Jim knew the difference.”

“Is that the kind of snake that killed Jonah Deerford?” Josie asked.

“Close. There’s a rhyme that goes: ‘If red touches yellow, it can kill a fellow. If red touches black, it is a friend of Jack.’ The coral snake has the red, yellow, and black pattern. The harmless scarlet king snake is red, black, and yellow. That’s why I named my king snake Jack.”

“I don’t think I could remember that rhyme if a snake was staring me in the face,” Josie said.

“Me, either,” Ted said. “But the scarlet king snake has a good disguise. Most creatures run when they see it. Jack is useful in the wild. He pays his way by eating rodents and small lizards. I bring him along on my lectures. Now my partner, Chris, wants him out of the waiting room, even though Jack can’t hurt anyone. She says he’s too notorious.”

“Are you going to take him home?”

“I’ll have to,” Ted said. “But Marmalade will have a fit. That cat hisses at poor Jack every time she passes him at the clinic.”

Josie saw a blur out of the corner of her eye. Harry was braving the kitchen, even with his enemy present. He scooted across the floor, keeping his body so low he looked like a fur snake. Harry sniffed the new food in his bowl, then ate it heartily. He finished quickly and sat back on his haunches to take a bath, carefully licking his paws, and then his enormous ears.

“Look, he’s starting to feel relaxed,” Amelia said. “He came into the room even though you were here, Ted. He ate all his food. Good boy, Harry.”

Josie tried to distract the cat by making dog noises. She whined and woofed softly. Harry put his ears back but refused to run off.

“You make a good dog,” Ted said. “I mean that in a nice way.” Barking sounds came from his pocket, and Ted took out his cell.

“Sorry,” he said. “That’s my partner, Chris. I’d better take this.”

He wandered into the living room. First Josie heard only the low, singsong tones of greeting. Then Ted’s voice got higher and louder.

“What! They killed Jack! Why? What do you mean he was shot while trying to escape? I’ll be right there.”

Chapter 26

Ted sprinted out the door, leaving behind his dishes, his dinner, and two dazed females.

“Is he gone?” Amelia asked. “He roared out of here like Iron Man.”

“He sure is,” Josie said. “I know it wasn’t the food. He did the cooking.”

Josie found her coat and began buttoning it. “Have you seen my purse?”

“Where are you going, Mom?” Amelia asked.

“To Ted’s office.” Josie located her purse in her bedroom.

“What can you do for him?”

“Get Ted a lawyer if he needs one. I can ask Alyce’s husband to recommend one, if it comes to that.”

“Why would he need a lawyer?” Amelia asked.

“I heard the words ‘killed’ and ‘shot while trying to escape. ’ ”

“Do you think we had dinner with a murderer?” Amelia’s eyes were bright with interest.

“We most certainly did not,” Josie said. “But it’s smart to take precautions if the police are involved.” What am I teaching my daughter? Josie wondered. I’ve had way too many unhappy encounters with the law.

“Is Jack a person or a snake?” Amelia asked.

“I don’t know. Either way, it sounded like trouble.”

Josie hauled out the phone book and looked up Ted’s office address. Terrific. It was in Rock Road Village. She hoped Rock Road Detective Gray wasn’t at the scene of Jack’s killing.

“I’m calling your grandmother to come down now and watch you,” Josie said.

“I can take care of myself,” Amelia said. “I’ll go to bed.” She started down the hall to her room, making a comic pantomime of walking. “See?”

“I saw you do that the last time I trusted you home alone for a few minutes. Then you sneaked out of the house.”

“Mom, I was only nine then. I’m ten now.”

“Big whoop,” Josie said.

“You sound like Miley Cyrus. She’s stupid.”

“Well, we agree on something. You know why you can’t be here by yourself, Amelia Marcus? Remember that little problem with the wine coolers when you took your midnight stroll? You’ve forfeited my trust, young lady. The answer is no.”

Amelia flopped down on the new couch and stuck out her lower lip.

Josie dialed her mother’s number. “Would you mind keeping an eye on Amelia for an hour or so? It’s an emergency, or I wouldn’t ask. No, no, nobody’s sick. I just have to leave for a little while. No, this won’t turn out to be all night like last time. I’ll explain why later. I’ll send your granddaughter upstairs in a few minutes. You’ll come down? Oh, Mom, you’re an angel. I agree, it’s better for Amelia to sleep in her own bed.”

There was a brief silence while Josie listened. “Okay, I’ll make sure she locks the cat in her room, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Or a fish. Yes, Mom, I know what happened to Siegfried and Roy, but we’re talking about a tiny cat, not a tiger. Yes, yes, they had the same ancestors. Harry does have tiger stripes, but he’s the abridged version of a ferocious feline. And he’s declawed. Mom, I promise Harry will be locked up. Your ankles are safe.”

Josie softened her voice. Her mother really was doing her a favor. Jane just hated cats, that’s all. She couldn’t help it. “And thanks.”

Josie hung up. “You heard that, Amelia. Grandma will come down here and watch television. Please keep your door shut and keep the cat in your room.”

“Oh, Mom,” Amelia said, stretching the title into several syllables. “Harry’s harmless.”

“I know he is,” Josie said. “Now you have to convince your grandmother. Meanwhile, close your door, please, and make sure he doesn’t escape.”

Josie watched her daughter flounce off to her room, then heard Amelia’s door slam. Josie was annoyed, but let the gesture go. She put on her gloves and waited until she heard her mother walking down the back steps.

“Bye!” she called. “Love you!”

Josie was out the door and off to Rock Road, the scene of some of her life’s biggest disasters. Nate had died here. Poor Edna had been murdered at that awful store. This time, things would go well. There was no such thing as a jinxed town.

She had no trouble finding the St. Louis Mobo-Pet office. A carnival of flashing blue, red, and white lights bounced off the one-story building’s pale walls.

In the parking lot, Josie spotted two Wildfern police cars, several aggressively anonymous cars that practically shouted “unmarked police vehicles,” and a horde of uniform and plain-clothes cops.

She also saw her Rock Road nemesis, Detective Gray, lurking among the blue uniforms. In the middle of the chaos stood Ted, guarded by a thin, angular woman with straight dark hair pulled into a ponytail. She wore green scrubs and had her arms folded across her flat chest. Josie suspected this was his veterinary partner, Christine.

Josie parked her car down the street and walked to the edge of the scene, careful to avoid the moiling cops.

Ted was talking way too loud. He sounded upset. “But you didn’t have to kill him,” he said in a sorrowful voice.

“We were acting on an informed tip that you had a dangerous reptile in your office, as well as other material connected with the murder of Jonah Deerford,” a young uniformed officer answered. The bright, whirling lights illuminated his baby-fine blond hair and the peach fuzz on his cheeks. “A walk-in visit confirmed that a suspect reptile was sitting in an aquarium in the waiting room where anyone could access it.”

A suspect reptile? Josie hid her head in her hands so the baby cop couldn’t hear her snorting laugh.

“Why didn’t you just take the aquarium?” Ted asked. “The snake couldn’t get you through the glass.”

“We tried, but a black Labrador retriever galloped straight at us.”

“Festus can be territorial,” Ted interrupted. “He didn’t bite you, I hope?”

“No, he hit me with a glancing blow, causing me to drop the aquarium,” the young officer said. “It broke. The snake got loose. At that point we heard a threatening hiss.”

“That was my cat,” Ted said. “Marmalade always hisses at the snake.”

“We didn’t see a cat,” the officer said. “We heard a threatening hiss, and the snake charged us.”

“Charged!” Ted said. “Snakes don’t charge.”

“This one moved very fast, sir, and it was headed straight toward me. I dispatched it with a single shot to the head.”

“And now Jack’s dead,” Ted mourned. His partner, Chris, tugged Ted’s sleeve, possibly trying to shut him up.

“I’m sorry, sir.” The officer sounded sorry, but Josie suspected it was because he was about to become a department joke. She could see the older officers trying to hide their grins while he told his tale. The young officer would probably have to endure rubber reptiles in his locker, and hear meows, hisses, and yells of “Charge!” when he walked down the station’s halls. If he was lucky, he might avoid a nickname like “Snake Eyes.” Cops loved to play pranks on their own.

“But it was only a snake,” the officer protested. His face and the tips of his downy ears were as red as the suspect serpent.

“No, you don’t understand,” Ted said. He was in full martyr mode, dying to make the world believe that snakes were our friends. “Jack was a good snake, a useful snake. He never hurt anything in his life, except rats. If you were a rat, officer, Jack would have been a problem. Otherwise, you were quite safe.”

Josie swore she heard more suppressed snorts from his brother officers. Oops, she thought. After that speech, rubber rats would be added to the young officer’s torments.

Josie couldn’t take any more. She had to save the innocent Ted from himself. She pushed past the crowd of smirking cops and called, “Ted! Are you okay?”

“Josie!” he said. “You followed me here.”

“Why, Miss Marcus, what a surprise to see you here.” Detective Gray, dreary and dangerous, stepped between them. His voice was full of mock courtliness. “My colleague Detective Winston Dixie wants to meet you. He’s on the Wildfern force.”

Detective Dixie gave her a small nod, which was about all he could manage with all those chins.

“Winston Dixie?” Josie said.

“Go ahead,” Winston said. “Get the jokes out of the way. My nickname is Win Dixie and my mama didn’t know she was naming me after a supermarket chain. She was a St. Louis lady who lived here all her life. Her daddy admired Winston Churchill, and that’s where I got my name. I’m just glad Grandpa wasn’t a fan of General Dwight Eisenhower. But we’re here to talk about you.

“Miss Marcus,” he said, “you seem to know everybody. You talked to the hit-and-run victim, Edna Prilosen. You visited the late puppy abuser, Mr. Jonah Deerford. And now you’re with the snake charmer, Dr. Ted.”

“What!” Josie said.

“You’re what we call a common link,” Detective Dixie said.

“No! St. Louis is a small town,” Josie said.

“Very small,” Detective Dixie said. “Every time I turn, I run into you. Step into my new office, Miss Marcus, at the clinic here.”

“But—,” Josie protested.

“Unless you’d rather go to my office way out in Wildfern.”

Chapter 27

“We can drive all the way out to Wildfern,” Detective Winston Dixie said. He stretched out the “all” so it sounded like they were going to California. “Or we can just talk here in the doctor’s office. He has plenty of exam rooms.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s eight forty-two. If we go to Wildfern, I’m thinking you’ll get back around midnight. If we have our conversation here, it won’t take long.”

“Am I under suspicion?” Josie asked.

“No, you’re not,” he said. “I’m asking you for your help as a concerned citizen. You don’t have to talk to me in Rock Road Village. But . . .”

He paused long enough to let her consider it.

Now that sentence was ambiguous, Josie thought. Alyce, who’d taken some law classes in college, had taught Josie to look for weasel words. “As a concerned citizen” could mean he saw Josie as a concerned citizen. Or it could mean for some legal reason he couldn’t question her in Rock Road. In that case, she could tell him no, citizen to citizen. She knew what Alyce would say: “Never, ever, talk to the police without a lawyer present.”

Dixie started up again. “But I could call my good friend Ike Ikeman. Big Ike would try to get another television interview with Dr. Ted. I’m guessing this time Ted would run, while Ike turned the camera on that big blue Mobo-Pet van. And Dr. Ted would look guilty as hell. Which I happen to believe he is.”

It was blackmail and Josie knew it. More bad publicity would hurt Ted. She should just walk away. She could. Except Ted hadn’t walked away from Harry. When the cat had needed expensive care, Ted had helped Harry for almost nothing. And Harry was, in Amelia’s mind, some link with her dead father. The striped cat looked like Nate’s long-vanished tabby, Cookie. To Josie, he was every striped cat she’d ever seen. But Harry the cat was a major part of Amelia’s world. Josie had to help the man who helped her.