The Fear (38 page)

‘Donut, you never been gorgeous. Not even to your mum. You’re too thin and your neck’s too long, and your eyes are too close together and your mouth’s too big. You’re always fidgeting. You get on people’s nerves …’

‘Stop it, I’ll blush.’

‘I was horrible to Ed,’ said Brooke quietly. ‘When it happened, I was so shocked. I reacted badly. I was a cow, as usual. Looking like that don’t make him no different. When I told Justin to drive on after we’ve crossed the bridge, I didn’t want to see Ed no more. I wanted to get away from him. That was part of it, you know, part of why we left you all behind.’

‘We was floating down the river, babes, didn’t make no difference to us.’

‘Yeah, but I didn’t know that, did I? I should have waited for you all.’

‘What happened to you, Brooke?’ DogNut asked. ‘You ain’t the same mouthy cow you used to be.’

‘A lot’s happened in the last year, Donut. A whole lot. I guess I’ve grown up. Losing Aleisha and Courtney … At least I
thought
I’d lost them. It’s great to have Courtney back, you know. Sucks about Aleisha. But, like, in my mind, I know it’s harsh, but in my mind she was already dead. You gotta think that way, not hope and dream, you gotta think straight and carry on, not get dragged down by your bad thoughts. And I thought I’d never see none of you again. And so, you know, like, I thought I’d lost everything. And it made me realize what was important – friends. Helping each other, working together. Not how you look, or what anyone thinks of you, or trying to always be one up on everyone else. Living at the museum there, we’ve got our own, like, little world. It’s great. I can be myself there. I don’t have to pretend to be some kind of hard-assed street bitch shooting her mouth off the whole time and putting everyone down.’

‘Pretend?’

‘Yeah. We all of us pretend, Donut. You too. We show people what we think they want to see.’

‘You even talk different.’

‘So do you.’

‘Do I?’ DogNut looked amazed.

‘You used to talk like you was fresh off the boat from Jamaica,’ said Brooke. ‘You still do a bit, when you want, but nowhere near as much as before. Me too. Used to be the only way to be cool. But we neither of us black, Donut, admit it. And, no matter how hard we try to talk like we was, it’s never going to change the colour of our skin.’

‘True dat!’

Brooke laughed. ‘I guess after a while you start to talk like the people you hang out with,’ she said. ‘You mixing with all different sorts now at the Tower, you talk different. And me …’

‘You becoming a nerd then?’

‘Maybe I am, Donut. The queen of the nerds. But it ain’t so bad. I never was that girl, really, the old blonde Brooke. All that chat. All that front. I learnt it and used it and I thought I was top girl. But most of the time I was just horrible to people and used my mouth as a weapon. What’s important now is surviving. As a team. That’s all. End of.’

‘So this is the new you then – Sister Brooke, the lovely nun. You’ll be singing “The Sound of Music” next.’

‘Are you trying to set me off, Donut?’ Brooke narrowed her eyes at him. ‘You want me to have a go at you, I will. I ain’t lost it none. Just you see.’

‘I believe it, gyal.’

‘So, do you want it? Do you want to feel the full force of Hurricane Brooke?’

‘Yeah, why not?’ DogNut grinned. ‘I miss the old you.’

Brooke took hold of DogNut’s hand. ‘It was sweet of you to come find me, Donut.’

‘Sweet? It nearly killed me.’

‘Why’d you do it?’

‘You know why. I thought maybe I was still in with a chance.’

‘Still?’ Brooke raised her eyebrows. ‘Where did “still” come from? You wasn’t
ever
in with a chance, boy.’

‘Was I never?’

‘No not ever. I mean, I always liked you …’

‘Is all right,’ said DogNut. ‘I knew it was Ed you was hot for. Dumb of me to think I could make that go away.’

‘I blew it with Ed,’ said Brooke. ‘I couldn’t handle the fact that he wasn’t a hunk any more. You believe I could have been so shallow …? I don’t have any fantasy that Ed might want to see me,’ said Brooke. ‘Like you told me, he never came with you on this journey. I’m not going to the Tower to fall at his feet and beg him to be my boyfriend.’

‘So, why
are
you coming?’

‘I don’t know, to say sorry, I guess. When you told me he was still alive, I felt something inside, like a kind of jolt. Not good, not bad, just a pain. Unfinished business. Life is short, Donut, and we don’t want to go through it carrying no regrets. Things unsaid. Apologies left cold. There’s a lot of bad things in the world, Donut. I’ve seen terrible things happen to people. The least I can do is say to poor Ed that it don’t matter what he looks like.’

‘Hold up!’ said DogNut, letting go of Brooke’s hand. ‘Why’ve they stopped?’

The two of them had been so wrapped up in their conversation they hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on around them.

Robbie’s group was standing in a line, looking at something.

‘What’s happening?’ Brooke asked no one in particular, and then froze, her mouth hanging open, unable to make sense of what she was seeing.

A cloud of pure white was moving across the road, silent and gleaming in the sun. It was such an unexpected sight that it was a moment before she realized that it was a flock of birds. Swans. About thirty of them, calmly wandering from one side to the other, their heads held high on long necks. As she stood there, goldfishing, warmth spread through her. It was such a beautiful thing, so peaceful and quiet and innocent.

She started to smile. She couldn’t stop herself. She looked around and saw that the other kids were smiling too, like a bunch of toddlers at a petting zoo. Nobody made any stupid comments, or suggested throwing something at the swans; nobody wanted to break the spell in any way.

Life was returning to the capital. Animals that would have been kept away before by noise and pollution, by cars and people and the clamour of city life, were starting to colonize the place and make it their own. Now the kids started to cheer. The swans turned to look at them, a bit snooty, but didn’t walk any faster or try to fly away. They just waddled casually on, until the last of them had gone into Green Park and the street was empty.

Brooke blinked. Had it been a mirage? A dream?

‘Come on.’ Courtney shouldered past her. ‘Let’s keep moving.’

Brooke held DogNut back for a moment then linked arms with him and they followed Courtney. She was silent for a while then leant closer to him.

‘Enough about Ed. What about Courtney?’ she asked, her voice lowered.

‘Courtney? She’s all right, I talked to her. She’s cool.’

‘Don’t hurt that girl.’

‘I never would. I told you, I talked to her.’

Brooke shoved DogNut roughly away, and he stumbled in the road, surprised.

‘Brooke. Don’t be like that –’

‘Shut up, DogNut. I saw something.’

‘Shit …’

DogNut glanced wildly about, and then he saw it too, four sickos skulking in the shadows to their right behind a row of arches.

‘Hang about!’ he shouted, and the advance party stopped. Robbie, Jackson, Felix and Marco looked round, then trotted back to join DogNut and Brooke. Courtney stayed where she was, standing alone. Robbie’s three other boys hurried to catch up with them from the rear.

‘Bloody sickos!’ DogNut hissed, drawing his sword.

‘We can handle them,’ said Felix.

‘Unless there’s more.’ DogNut quickly took in where they were, checking for any cover. He’d been stupid, distracted by the swans and his conversation with Brooke. This wasn’t a stroll in the park. The world was still dangerous.

They’d come down a long straight stretch of road, wide enough for four lanes of traffic, and had entered the top of Piccadilly. Now, instead of open greenery on one side, there was a tall building whose front was built out over the pavement, forming an arcade that ran the length of the block. DogNut saw a sign announcing that it was the Ritz Hotel. It was here that the sickos waited.

On the other side of the road there was a run of airline offices and a Boots chemist.

‘Should we leg it?’ said Brooke, who was less used to being out in the open.

‘We can handle them,’ Felix repeated. ‘Take them down and we don’t have to worry about them no more.’

DogNut hesitated, unsure of what to do. In his confusion he wasn’t acting quickly enough. He was in danger of panicking. He looked to Robbie who was similarly unsure.

‘Cut them down,’ said Courtney. She needed to take her anger out on something. Watching DogNut and Brooke saunter along hand in hand had made her feel sick to her stomach. Before anyone could stop her, she gripped her spear with both hands and advanced towards the four sickos.

‘Come on then!’ she shouted. ‘I’m all yours!’

The others had no choice but to follow her. DogNut felt a flutter of panic. They shouldn’t be fighting unless they absolutely had to. He looked up at the sky and cursed.

When were they ever going to be given a break?

The four sickos sidled away. Hanging back in the shadows. Almost as if they were waiting for the kids to get to them.

Don’t be stupid.

DogNut swore under his breath. The sickos didn’t have a plan. They weren’t clever enough for that.

As he got closer to them, he swore again.

He recognized them.

‘Gym bunnies!’ he said.

‘You what?’ Brooke looked frightened.

‘The ones we saw the other day, on the way to the palace. I told you about them. There was a whole load of them.’

‘A whole load of them?’ Brooke looked even more worried.

‘That was two days ago. Ryan and his hunters have been on their ass. Maybe there’s only these four left?’

‘Let’s finish them off,’ said Felix.

‘No, wait,’ said DogNut, and there was such anxiety in his voice that all the kids froze. Including Courtney.

Nothing happened.

‘You’ve lost it, DogNut,’ said Felix. ‘The old days we’d have merked these creeps without even thinking.’

Only one thought went through DogNut’s mind.
I don’t want to be in charge. I don’t want to muck it all up again.

Felix and Marco hurried to catch up with Courtney who was now stalking the cowering sickos as they edged towards the end of the arcade. Robbie’s group ran to cut them off, but as they drew near they realized that the sickos weren’t alone. A larger group of gym bunnies had been hiding round the corner in a side-street and they suddenly emerged, moving fast towards Robbie’s group.

Staying in a tight pack.

Organized.

And these weren’t sickness-ravaged weaklings – they looked worryingly fit and muscular and ready for a fight. Some were nearly naked, showing skin that was disfigured with boils and wounds that wouldn’t heal, but, rather than make them look weaker, these blemishes simply made them appear more frightening.

‘All right,’ said Felix, staggering to a halt in the road. ‘Now I suppose we’d better run.’

But it was too late. A third, smaller, group of sickos now appeared from the opposite side of the road. The kids had fallen into a trap. Distracted by the four lone sickos, they’d let themselves get surrounded. There must have been at least twenty-five sickos ringing the group of ten kids. More than two against one. Not the worst odds, particularly as the sickos weren’t armed, but the chances of getting out of this fight unhurt were slim.

DogNut hawked up a big green gob of phlegm and spat it on the ground.

If only he hadn’t hesitated. If only he’d ordered them all to run while there was still time. No chance of that now. Not until they’d broken out of this ring of grown-ups.

‘Stick together,’ he shouted. ‘We need to punch our way through.’

But Robbie’s gang either hadn’t heard or were ignoring him, because they charged forward without waiting for DogNut and the others. They hacked down a couple of fathers but were immediately swamped by half the remaining sickos.

Now was DogNut’s chance. There was a big gap in the ring. He could easily get through.

Only that would mean abandoning Robbie.

No. Not again. Nobody was going to call him a coward. He was a hero, wasn’t he?

‘Help them!’

He ran at the sickos, sword swinging through the air. He took one out, but had to be careful in case he cut any of his friends. Courtney joined him, stabbing at the grown-ups with her spear. Brooke dithered, holding back, her narrow sword limp in her hand.

‘You’re going to have to fight!’ Felix yelled.

‘I don’t know how.’

‘Just kill them.’

Felix didn’t have time to say anything else, because they were on him. Five of them, trying to get in close so that he couldn’t swing his own sword. He was forced to use short, less powerful jabs and slashes, using his elbows and kicking out as well if more than one came at him at once. Marco fought his way to his side and together they managed to turn the fight back against the grown-ups.

Two of Robbie’s gang were down on the ground and bleeding, but Jackson managed to break clear of her attackers, battering them out of her way with her spear, a cold, steely look in her eyes. She had one arm round Robbie whose neck was a bloody mess. She joined up with DogNut and Courtney.

‘He’s hurt,’ she said bluntly.

‘I can’t move my arm,’ Robbie groaned.

‘We have to get back to the museum,’ said Jackson.

DogNut saw Jackson’s two friends lying in the road, unmoving.

‘What about them?’

‘Leave them,’ said Jackson. ‘They’re too badly wounded.’

‘But …’

‘Leave them!’

Jackson powered ahead, not letting any sickos stop her as she ploughed her way through them back towards Green Park, the one remaining uninjured boy from the museum helping her.

‘Stick together!’ Marco yelled. ‘We have to stick together.’

‘We’re trying to stick together, stupid,’ said Felix.

Nobody could follow Jackson, though, as the sickos turned their attentions to DogNut’s gang. Felix and Marco were completely swamped. The boys fought back and in a moment there were three dead gym bunnies at their feet, but that only made it harder for them to move without tripping up. As they fought to get clear of the pack, they kept slipping and stumbling. DogNut and the others couldn’t help them as they were all engaged in a fight of their own. DogNut and Courtney were protecting Brooke who had dropped her sword and was now completely unarmed. She was trying to scream, but the breath caught in her lungs and no sound came out.