The Fiend Queen (26 page)

Starbride lifted her hands and dropped them. “Maybe he was corrupted by Yanchasa’s ancient curse, if you want to call it that.”

Yanchasa threw back his head and laughed.

“But that doesn’t erase what he’s done,” Starbride said. “And the people of Marienne won’t see it that way, either. They’ll want someone to pay. Maybe after a public execution, this city will be able to heal.”

Katya stared at her.

Starbride returned her look with a cool gaze. “If you ask, ‘what happened to you,’ I’m leaving.”

“Then you must see the difference in yourself.”

“The ways in which I’m stronger and more powerful? If anyone could see it, I thought it would be you. I thought love would help you see it.”

When Katya could only gape, Starbride stood and wrapped a blanket around herself. “Dawnmother will have prepared some quarters for me. Why don’t you find me when all of this has had a little time to sink in?”

Katya

Katya scrubbed her fingers through her damp hair. This new Starbride had to be a trick, some cruel joke. She was still asleep in the dead city below the palace, and this was another nightmare.

All the times she’d envisioned Starbride’s beautiful face—either worried, determined, or weeping with joy at seeing Katya again—she never imagined what she’d actually found. And it wasn’t just the smooth triangles of crystal adorning Starbride’s body. She was cold, outside and in. Neither the bath nor their lovemaking had warmed her. For all the pleasure Starbride had given, it made her smug more than anything. As for what Katya had given her, well, it seemed not to have affected her at all. Everything probably paled in comparison to the sensations granted by Yanchasa.

Katya shivered and drew her blanket tighter. She didn’t care what Starbride said, she’d seen Yanchasa’s effects. She’d felt them. Even if it was true that Yanchasa used to be human, or that it chose what it passed on to those who’d captured it, that still meant Yanchasa contained the cold, malicious killer Katya had come to know as a Fiend. A sliver of humanity couldn’t erase the monster.

But how to get Starbride to see that?

Katya stood. The fight wasn’t done, that was all. She had hoped Roland’s capture would put an end to it, but there was one task left, one more hurdle. She could cope with that.

Katya dressed quickly, every movement reminding her of Averie. She could pick a thousand new maids, but never as wonderful a friend, no one with such good advice, such easy wit.

Katya would see to it that Averie was entombed in the Umbriel crypt.

Once she dressed, it was easier to plan. She’d need allies, someone who knew what it would take to convince Starbride to let Yanchasa’s power go. A pyradisté? The only one who came to mind was Master Bernard, and Katya didn’t think he knew much of Fiend magic.

Adsnazi, then. But Katya feared that going to Redtrue would only upset Starbride further. They hadn’t started out as friends. Well, Redtrue didn’t start out friends with anyone, but she and Starbride had been hurrying toward antagonistic the last time they’d been together.

Perhaps the only testimony Starbride would listen to was from someone well-versed in Fiends, someone who could remember what it was like to merge with one. Luckily, they had the greatest authority on the subject sitting in the dungeon.

But Katya’s feet failed her as her heart sped. She pictured the dungeon stones, the airless, lightless dark. She had to stretch her arms to prove that she had room; the walls weren’t closing in. No, she couldn’t go underground again, not yet.

After a deep breath, she calmed. She wasn’t ready to see her uncle anyway. The man she’d thought of as Roland was seven years dead. The only thing left was the creature who’d stolen her home, enslaved her dearest friends, and killed her mother. He was the beast who’d hunted Starbride and forced her to fall under Yanchasa’s sway. How could she see him as anything but that, no matter what he looked like? How could she speak to him without ramming her dagger down his throat?

Katya headed to Maia’s room but paused when she arrived. Katya’s fight wasn’t over, but that didn’t mean Maia’s peace had to be interrupted. She could be with Brutal, claiming some fleeting but much needed happiness. How could Katya take that away from her?

The youngster Katya remembered would be eager to help. This new Maia—with the haunted look in her pale blue eyes—would she be so quick to throw herself into danger? Or would she still tell Katya not to be silly, not to hesitate when asking for help. They were family.

Still, Katya was about to turn away when the door flew open. On the other side, Maia jumped back, bow half drawn. Katya froze in shock.

Maia’s arrow tipped toward the ground. “Sorry, I didn’t know who it might be. Why didn’t you knock?”

“I didn’t want to disturb you.” She tried to peer around Maia’s shoulder.

Maia rolled her eyes. “I’m alone. Do you want to come in?”

Katya sighed. Starbride’s predicament wouldn’t wait. “I have to talk to you about something delicate.”

“Spirits, please don’t tell me it’s Brutal. I’ve already said I don’t want to talk about that over and over.”

“You’ve just piqued my interest all over again, but no. It’s Starbride.”

Maia stood aside so Katya could slip past. “That was my second guess.”

“She’s merged with Yanchasa, I know it, no matter that she says it’s some kind of teaching.”

“And you want to know what merging with Yanchasa is like?”

“Will it do me any good? I don’t want to dredge up old pain.”

Maia relaxed on a divan. A glass and a nearly full bottle of wine rested on the table. Nice restraint on her part. Katya was tempted to drain a bottle by herself.

“Tell me what she told you,” Maia said as she scooted another glass closer and poured for both of them.

Katya related the story as best she remembered. Maia sipped her wine and listened. At the end, she shrugged. “It doesn’t sound like anything I felt. There were no whispering voices, no teaching or guiding, more like someone pulled a blanket over my thoughts. The most horrible actions seemed not only necessary but enjoyable, and I didn’t question them.”

Maia toyed with her wine glass and stared at the floor. “There was a desire, all the time, to hurt everyone, to find new
ways
to hurt them. I could fight it because going on a rampage didn’t suit my purpose or my father’s plans, but it was always there.”

Katya remembered her brief time as a greater Fiend, when Starbride helped her stay in control. She’d thought of such murderous instincts as the essence of Fiends. That meant brutality lurked in the core of Yanchasa, no matter what the rest of it was.

“I saw Starbride’s face,” Maia said, “as she knelt over the tortured body of my father. She’d done something to him with a pyramid, and he was screaming and moaning, and she was smiling, Katya.”

Katya drained her glass before she stood to pace. “We have to do something.”

“Like she did for me.” Maia shuddered. “Now I’m happy to be myself again, but when Starbride first freed me, I was miserable.”

“Because you remembered.”

Maia nodded and didn’t lift her eyes.

Katya sat beside her on the settee. “You had no control, dearheart. You didn’t choose to merge with your Fiend.” Not like Roland had.

Maia wiped the corner of her eye. “I wasn’t miserable just because of the memories, Katya. Spirits above, I
missed
it.”

“The Fiend?” Katya asked, fighting to keep any inflection from her voice.

“The power. I know you remember a little, but once you’ve merged with that kind of strength.” She flexed her fingers. “It felt as if anything was possible. I felt invincible. I think that’s why I was so rash sometimes, why anyone with a Fiend is. Hurling yourself into danger is part of the thrill. And even though I wouldn’t go back to that terrible state of mind, it was nice not to worry about consequences.”

Like the penalty for killing people? Katya kept her mouth shut. It wouldn’t do to go asking for advice and then judging Maia on everything she had to say.

Maia leaned her head on Katya’s shoulder. “If Starbride has the power and the confidence, but Yanchasa is holding back the need for slaughter, the rashness, and the total dominion of its personality, I’d find it tempting to change places with her.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. If she just had confidence in a power she trusted, that would be one thing, but she’s
cold
.”

“And ruthless.”

“She’s not the same person, but she claims she’s better.”

Maia shook her head. “Do you think we can convince her?”

“She still loves me. I saw it in her eyes. The real Starbride is in there somewhere. I just have to convince her to fight.”

“I’m with you. If she turns us into pudding, we’ll get turned together.”

Katya laughed, tears stinging her eyes. “Do you think she’ll listen to us?”

“Let me do the talking.”

“You sound like me.”

“At whose knee do you think I learned?”

*

Katya couldn’t lurk in the secret passageways. She wasn’t any more ready for them than she was for the dungeon. And spying seemed the last way to get Starbride to trust her. Instead, she decided to accompany Maia to Starbride’s room and let Maia take the lead in the conversation.

Weariness knotted Katya’s shoulders and stretched the wound in her back. She couldn’t sleep, though, even without the problem of Yanchasa. The chill of her nightmare lingered in her thoughts.

Dawnmother’s drawn face said she hadn’t gotten any rest, or maybe she was seeing the difference in her mistress, too. She would have to have been blind to miss it.

Starbride had changed into one of her Allusian outfits. This one had loose fitting trousers in deep blue silk and a shirt that fitted around her midsection and flared at the sleeves. Her smile held the same smug edge, but her mouth wobbled as Katya watched, as if the real Starbride was fighting for control.

“Hello again,” Katya said.

Starbride set some papers down. “More questions?”

“Just seeing how you are.” Maia plopped down beside Starbride as if nothing had changed.

“Fine. Just going over some reports from the city.”

“My father’s reports?” Katya asked.

“Your father needs his rest. I’m more than capable of handling a few things for him. I led a rebellion while you were gone, Katya.”

“And you did it splendidly, love.”

Starbride’s new smile held a smidge of her earlier warmth. “Thank you.”

“But reports,” Katya pressed. “You’ve never shown an interest in them before.”

Maia gave her a warning look, too late to put off Starbride’s frown.

“I have the advice of someone who ruled a place far larger than Marienne for centuries,” Starbride said. “I think I can handle a few missives. Unless you don’t have faith in me?”

“It’s not that at all.” Maia frowned until Katya sank into a chair. “Katya’s just being the worrier she was born to be.”

They all chuckled. “I just wanted to know how you’re settling in,” Maia said.

Starbride gestured at the room. “Fine, and you?”

Maia stared at the floor and shrugged. Starbride touched her lightly on the wrist. “What’s wrong?” She glanced at Katya.

Katya shook her head. “She didn’t want to tell me. I made her come see you.”

“What is it, sweet? Is someone bothering you?” The pyramid in Starbride’s forehead flared.

“Nothing like that. I just wondered if you’d tell me what it’s like. The power, I mean.”

“Why do you want to know?”

Maia spoke so softly Katya had to lean in. “I had it once.”

“And you miss it.”

“A bit. I’m happy to be myself again, and I’m so grateful to you, Starbride.”

Starbride smiled and chucked her under the chin. “Of course.”

“But I didn’t miss feeling helpless.”

“I know what you mean.” Starbride glanced to the side as if listening to someone else’s comment. Katya squirmed. That had to be Yanchasa’s voice.

“I don’t miss the killing,” Maia said.

Katya sucked in a breath. Starbride frowned. “Killing?”

“Yes, I killed people happily. I don’t miss that.”

Starbride looked away again. Katya glanced at Maia, urging her to press the point.

“It felt as if someone else was in charge of my thoughts.” Maia stared into space. “Every decision I made was influenced by…”

“Yanchasa’s Aspect.” Starbride frowned, and Katya wondered how quickly Yanchasa was talking now. “You two should be resting.”

“And you?”

“I’m not sleepy.”

Katya cocked her head. “I always sleep better with you by my side.”

Starbride seemed torn again. Her mouth quivered, and she took a breath so deep she shuddered. “Sleep here with me, then.”

Maia started to stand. Starbride touched her arm. “No, you stay. I don’t want you to be alone.”

Maia glanced at Katya, and she knew they were thinking the same thing: it was more than a little awkward to think of sharing a bed, especially when Katya’s and Starbride’s bedtime often included more than sleeping.

“Right here,” Starbride said.

When Katya glanced at her, the pyramid in her forehead flared again, and darkness slammed into Katya like a herd of wild horses.

Starbride

Maia slumped to the side, but Katya slid forward. Starbride leapt the short table between them and caught Katya before she could hurt herself.

“Will you straighten out Maia?” she asked as she laid Katya on the settee.

Dawnmother hurried to Maia’s side. “What have you done?”

“Don’t wake her. I just put her to sleep.”

“They are not children, Star! Did you even think of how angry they’ll be when they wake?” Dawnmother’s face had that line between her brows that Starbride was coming to think of as her normal expression. “My life for you—”

“Dawn, please. How many times have you said that in the past hour?”

“I will repeat it until you listen. Your feet are set on a dark path, and if you don’t turn back…” Her mouth worked before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Star, you risk becoming the kind of person you have hated all your life, a selfish monster who cares only for her own ends.”