The Filthy Series: The Complete Dark Erotic Serial Novel (5 page)

Rhett stood, but didn’t move toward me. “What do you mean? How could you even know that? You’re so young.”

“Yeah, well,” I snatched my purse off the floor and looped it around my neck. “I had my uterus removed when I was fifteen.” I didn’t look at him when I spoke, but instead fiddled with the clasp on my purse. “That’s why I need the hormones.”

“What? Why? You were at home then,
I
was home the summer when you were fifteen.”

I smirked. “I’d just had my birthday when you were home. I was fifteen for nearly a whole year after you left.” A cold grip fisted my heart. He didn’t know about the things that happened after he left. About how angry his father was. How twisted the abuse became.

“But, I don’t get it.” He rubbed his face. “You were fine when I was there.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Rhett.”

“It does matter. What happened?” He stepped closer to me.

Fuck I need a bump right now.

“Nothing. Some things just aren’t meant to be.” I gave him a weak smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” I stepped around him. “I need to pee.”

SIX

“You’re home!” A high pitch voice squealed the second I stepped through the threshold of Rhett’s apartment. Sarah’s red head came bobbing toward us and I had to physically stop myself from vomiting. She threw herself into Rhett’s arms like he had been gone years instead of just a day.
Not even a whole day. Stupid cunt.

“Hey baby.” Rhett wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

“What took y’all so long?” She didn’t look at me at all when she spoke, which was awkward, considering I was trapped in the hallway between the door and them, helpless to do anything but stand there and stare.

“Just took longer than I thought.” He dropped his arm to wrap around her waist and moved them toward the kitchen and living room area.

I glanced at the digital clock on the stove when it came into view. It was seven-thirty in the evening. I’d spent the whole day with Rhett and it had only gotten worse. We’d left Dr. Paul’s office and I had expected him to grill me on the whole ‘unable to have kids thing’ but he didn’t. He was, however, back into his brooding pit of hate for me. He was completely disconnected, which was almost worse than his prying curiosity, then again I was thankful he didn’t ask any more questions.

He took me shopping and bought me something to wear for the funeral. Our time at the store was uneventful, full of hate-filled stares and unpleasant comments. Our late lunch was the same story. He’d had to stop by his office on the way home, and I’d waited for him in the car, from which he’d taken the keys.

I almost felt insulted that he thought I would steal his stupid-foreign made car. But then I didn’t.
Why care about what he thinks at all? He will be gone from my life soon.

I almost didn’t even feel like seducing him anymore. That was how much of a toll the day had taken on me. I padded toward my bedroom door.

“You want to come out and have dinner with us?” I had barely turned the knob when he asked.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Sarah giving him a dirty look.
Oooh someone doesn’t want me to go.
That alone made me want to go more than anything. Pissing her off would make my whole day. But I was tired. More tired than I had been in a long time, which was saying something big, considering I rode cock all day, every day.

My first dick-free day and I’m exhausted. The fuck?

“Nah. I’m good.” I shook my head and pushed the door open.

“You’ve gotta eat, Faye. You barely ate any of your lunch.”

“I’m good.” I held up the to-go box clutched in my hand. “I’ll eat this if I get hungry.” I went in and closed the door behind me. Leaning against it, I let out a pent up breath.

Just get through the next few days. Life will go back to normal, Faye. Things will be fine.

The fact that I had to tell myself this at all really needled at me. I wasn’t someone who lost her cool. I went with the flow. I let things happen and I dealt with them as they came. I didn’t let anything rattle me. Not sex. Not men. Not anyone. So why was Rhett different? Why had he always been different for me?

I jerked my purse over my head and threw it and the left over box on the floor in frustration.
What a bunch of shit!

I sat down on the edge of the bed just as someone knocked on the door. I didn’t have the chance to give my blessing before it opened, revealing Rhett.

“Well, come on in then,” I said sarcastically.

“We’re going out to eat.”

I snorted. “I already told you I’m not—”

“I know you’re not going,” he interrupted and took a step inside. “Sarah and I are going.” His face was the flat hateful mask he’d been wearing all day. “I’m not going to make you come. Not having to spend any more time with you today is a blessing.” He said the words with certainty, as if he believed them. But I could tell he didn’t. Maybe it was how I knew men, how transparent they were, but I could tell that he didn’t hate the time he spent with me today, even though he wanted me to think so. Or maybe I was just telling myself that so I wouldn’t feel so shitty about all of it. “I don’t trust you.” He took another step to where he was towering over me. I could smell his musky cologne. My mouth watered. “But I’m going to leave you here anyway.” He paused. “But if I come back and a single thing is out of place, or if you’re gone,” he crouched down on one knee, his green gaze boring into mine. “I will find you. I found you last time and I can do it again. Only this time I won’t be so nice.”

I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t. He was being serious. He thought I would steal from him, and run off.
Well, I am a prostitute. That would be a step up in my world.

I wanted to slap my stupid conscience.

“Cool,” I said, with utter sincerity, as if he had just told me he bought a blue t-shirt, instead of threatening my life.

“I’m fucking serious, Faye. I brought you here for your mom, I didn’t have–”

“Oh my God, I know!” I threw my hands up in the air and stood. “I fucking get it. Just go to dinner and leave me alone. You’re more smothering than she ever was.”

I expected him to retort and say something snide back. In fact I hoped he would because I wanted to rip him apart.

He didn’t. Instead he nodded and left the room without saying a damn thing.

Stupid men.

I waited patiently on the end of the bed. Waited for the apartment door to shut, for the lock to click. The longer I waited the more irritated I got.
He thinks he can just treat me like a child, force me to go to the doctor, and then threaten me. Threaten
me
?
I clenched and unclenched my fists repeatedly. I considered those moments when he looked genuinely concerned in the car, hell even in the doctor’s office when he had held my hand. His palm had felt so good, so right against mine. Those simple, sparse moments that took me back to the Rhett I knew. I ran a shaky hand over my face.
What a fucking joke.
Sarah’s red head popped into my mind, carving another path of hurt.
Why do I even care that he’s with someone? He’s an asshole!

My mind spun round and round, from the rage that bubbled for Rhett, to the anger I felt toward his relationship with Sarah.
How long have they been together?
It didn’t matter. I knew it didn’t. I was going back to my life soon, that was for damn sure, but…but what?

Fuck. I didn’t fucking know. I was losing my damn mind in this apartment. I needed fresh air. My home. My friend. I needed it all back so I could get my head wrapped around all the confusing thoughts in my head.

Finally it came. It seemed like hours passed before I heard the simple click of the door closing and the lock following it. Confirming my presence in the apartment was singular. I took several deep breaths before reaching for my purse. I dug out the little baggie that held my ground up heaven. I stared at the thin white powder.

I’d taken my last bump out in the car while he was in his office. That hadn’t been that long ago, two hours, maybe, but I was already itching for another one, especially after that conversation. After what I had decided I would do. I shook the little baggie until some of the contents spilled onto the back of my right forearm. I would run out soon. I had a couple bumps left, if I stretched it out, but even then those bumps would be bare.

I leaned in and pressed my right nostril to the end of the line. My skin prickled with anticipation. I loved the feeling. The way my body ached in the moment before I snorted the sweet powder into my nostrils. It was a burning desire like I’d never had for anything else. It ate me alive, consumed me, and I always let myself drown in those moments. Those simple moments of raw desperation, before I gave myself what I desperately wanted.

I sucked in, snorting half the line into my nose.
Fuck. Burns so good.
I switched to my other nostril and consumed the rest of it. I rubbed my nose and closed my eyes, letting myself bask in the instant feeling of pleasure it brought. I didn’t sit there long though, no, I knew they would be back soon.

I opened the door and walked out into the living room. It was dark in there, the TV was off and the drapes were drawn shut. Only a dim kitchen light gave the room a soft glow.

I scanned the entire area, taking in the bland painting of a woman playing a fiddle hanging over the couch.

Who would buy something like that?

A picture frame on the table caught my attention. Rhett and Sarah’s smiling faces stared back at me. Younger versions of themselves. I snatched the frame up and looked at it closely. The picture seemed to be fairly old. Rhett practically looked like he did back when I knew him.
They’ve been together that long?
Something else slammed into me.
She’s the girlfriend he told me about that summer!

“I think I’m in love, Faye.”

My heart sped up as I sat across from Rhett on the plush white couch. He’d only been home for a few weeks, but I was already back to crushing on him something terrible. He came home and my whole life changed, it always did.

“Really?”
With me. Say you’re in love with me.

“I met her at school. She’s…amazing.” He smiled and simultaneously, my heart sank drowning in the hope it floated in.

I shoved the memory out of my head and dropped the picture on the floor. The glass shattered on impact. It felt good, better than I thought it would.

Nothing else interested me in the living room, so I moved to the bedroom. Their door was halfway open, the lamp on one night table on. This room was equally as boring as the living room. The bed had a plain brown comforter and the painting above the bed featured a little girl playing dress up in red shoes much too big for her. I frowned at it.

I could remember Rhett’s bedroom back when I still lived at home. He had a bunch of stuff, including maps of the ocean floor, huge, poster-sized stills of sea creatures, all of them covering the walls in crafty disorder. It was strange to imagine the same guy laid his head down here for the night, beneath a little girl in red shoes.

I made my way into the room quickly, scanning everything. The room was neat, and bare, revealing nothing important to either Sarah or Rhett. I pulled out a dresser drawer and discovered socks. I shook my head. “Yeah, take socks. That will really hit him where it hurts.” I slammed the drawer shut.

I eyed the bed next then dropped to my knees. A bunch of stuff was cluttered underneath.
Bingo!
I pulled out the closest thing I could see. It turned out to be a poster. I unrolled it to reveal a picture of a manatee. It swam on its back its fins reaching out to a diver that swam over it. It looked as if the two were high-fiving. I knew the diver was Rhett. I smiled darkly.

Do you really want to do this?

What am I even doing?

I couldn’t really answer that question. I wasn’t going to leave. I knew that much. But I was going to show Rhett that he couldn’t just boss me around, threaten me, make me do things I didn’t want to do, and I just lay there and take it. No, I wasn’t that kind of girl. I might fuck for a living, but I did it by choice. Every time I got fucked I got something out of it, whether it was money or drugs, I got something, and I would prove that to Rhett tonight. If he was going to take from me, I would take from him. Smashing the picture of him and Sarah was more for me than it was for him. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t care so much that the picture was broken anyway. He was practical and would just buy a new frame. It would just be annoying and that wasn’t what I wanted.

I rolled the poster back up and carried it into the kitchen. I sat it on the counter and jerked open the closest drawer.
Where are the scissors?
But then I remembered my knife tucked safely away in my purse. I hurried and grabbed it. The blade made a loud clicking noise as it popped into place. I clutched it in my hand and stared at the rolled up poster.

Fucking destroy it.
But I hesitated. Why? I couldn’t name a good reason.
Show him he can’t fuck with you, Faye. What is he really going to do to you?