The Fire of Life (21 page)

With love from us all, Mother.'

Rayanne's eyes were smarting with unshed tears as she carefully folded up the letter before she looked at the many newspaper cuttings. The news seemed to have been in every newspaper in England. There was even a photograph of her. One she recognized immediately as taken by Burt.

Was Burt still in this? Had he sent the news around, knowing her father's name was well-known, as were the names of her brothers? Yet the papers merely quoted what had been written in the South African newspapers, though all expressed amazement at a girl being offered the post! Apparently Cary Jefferson was well-known as a permanent woman-despiser, or perhaps woman-avoider!

' Good news, dear?' Mrs Jefferson asked.

Rayanne looked at her, seeing a blurred figure ' Yes, wonderful. The nicest letter I've ever had in my life.' Suddenly she was dancing round the room, singing happily. ' Just think ! ' she said, stopping in front of Mrs Jefferson, leaning down, one hand on each arm of the chair. ' Just think—they're proud

of me! They're proud of me for the first time in my life.' Her voice rose excitedly. Then she remembered something and stood up. ' Oh, and Mother says Uncle Joe wishes to be remembered to you and he hopes to come out and visit us.'

Your Uncle Joe?' Mrs Jefferson looked excited. Her hand went to her hair. I wonder when he's coming. I must go to the hairdresser. Oh, my dear girl, isn't life exciting these days?'

But was it? Rayanne wondered that night as she went to bed. This had merely added another problem to the one she couldn't solve. Her family was proud of her. What would they say if she turned down the job?

The next day after she had been to see Samantha, Kwido drove her back. It was rather early for lunch and there was no sign of anyone in the house. Rayanne hesitated in the lounge, looking round, wondering where Mrs Jefferson could be. The sound of a door opening made her swing round. It was Cary.

Why, Cary ! ' she exclaimed, and moved instinctively towards him with a betraying eagerness. Now as she coloured, she added, We didn't expect you yet.'

I'm aware of that.' He closed the door and leaned against it. I've just been listening to your lecture.' His voice had no warmth, no approval in it.

What did you .. . er ... did you ... Is it all right?' Rayanne stammered.

He frowned, those great tufty eyebrows moving. Of course it's all right,' he said, almost crossly. Why shouldn't it be? I knew you'd make a good

speaker. Very articulate. The kind of voice one can listen to indefinitely.'

She blushed with pleasure. ' I'm glad you liked it. Cary, about this job . .

What job?' he asked, staring at her.

' Well, the job of . . . of lecturing for you when you're away,' Rayanne said, suddenly nervous. Had it all been a joke of Burt's? A strange unfunny joke, but the result of knowing she didn't love him?

Oh, that.' He moved forward, coming nearer to her with surprising quickness. I'm afraid that's off.'

It's . . . off?' Rayanne went white, she could almost feel the blood leaving her face. You mean, you don't want me?'

It was like a slap in the face. All this time she had been trying to make up her mind, trying to decide whether it was better to grab at what happiness she could, even if the price was high to pay. And it was all off. The job was not to be hers. She would have to go away .. .

Her nose seemed to prickle—a frightening sensation, since it was usually a warning she was about to cry and crying was the very last thing she must do.

Yes, I've been thinking about it. I'm often away for several weeks.'

And you couldn't trust me?' Anger was sweeping away her dismay. They were back in Square One. ' Just because I'm a woman! '

His hands gripped her arms. Look, for crying out loud, will you stop this Liberation nonsense? It has nothing to do with your sex at all.'

Then why . . .' She felt breathless and trembling, angry yet excited, a strange combination of emotions.

Because I intend to take you with me,' he said. Go with you?'

He smiled. She caught her breath. If only .. . ' Of course. It's usual for a wife to accompany her husband.'

A wife?' Rayanne could hardly speak.

You are going to marry me, aren't you? I thought it was all arranged.'

' Arranged? You mean by your mother?'

He smiled. If it makes her happy to think so, why not let her? I knew as soon as I saw you, that day at the Crisps'. You looked so tired and frightened, I wanted to gather you up in my arms and kiss you, but I knew you weren't in the right mood. You were the girl I'd spent my life looking for. And you?'

Why, Cary, I knew . . . I knew it was you, then, too. Oh, Cary, it can't be true. It just can't!' she gasped, her voice bewildered. This must be a dream and I'll wake up . .

His arms were linked now behind her back as he pulled her closer.

Not a dream, Ray. It's real. Right from the first moment, I loved you, but it seemed absurd. How could you love someone you didn't even know?'

That's how I felt, too. It was absurd, but . .

It was true. My mother said at once that you loved me, but I didn't believe it. You were so aggressive at times, I often thought you hated me.

Then there was Burt West. You were always together.'

Burt's a darling. I like him, but . .

He frowned, his tufty eyebrows drawing together. This time she could do what she had always longed to do, lift her hand and gently stroke the thick hard brows. Then she traced her finger down his nose and either side of his mouth.

There's just one thing, Ray,' he said. ' You know what you're tackling? A lonely life.'

Lonely?' She laughed and put both her arms round his neck. ' Oh, Cary, if you knew how happy I am! How could I ever be lonely married to you?'