The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (53 page)

He was asking my permission. Crazy, because I trusted him implicitly with my body. Trusted him with all of me.

My eyes met his. “Please.”

He groaned. Then he plunged in, deep and hard, just as he’d promised.

I cried out, fisting the sheets. I had already been on the brink and the minute he entered my channel, my orgasm ripped through me.

Hudson wasn’t slowing at all as I clenched around his cock. He drove into me with single-minded fury, over and over. His thighs slapped against mine, the sound driving me mad, stirring up another climax within me. He talked to me—crazy sex talk that I could barely make meaning of in my haze. Each word punctuated as he thrust in, in, in. “You’re. So. God. Damn. Hot. You. Make. Me. Come. So. Hard.”

And then we were both coming. So hard. He pushed into me with a long groan. My eyes were glued to him, and I watched his entire torso stiffen as his hips bucked against my pelvis. Then my own vision went white, clouding with the intensity of my release. His name was on my tongue, both a curse and a prayer as I surrendered to the convulsions that begged to overtake me.

God, oh, god.

It seemed ages before I recovered enough to speak—to
think
. When I could, Hudson had already fallen on the bed beside me. He was equally affected, I knew. If he weren’t, he’d be holding me. Instead, we lay side by side, our shoulders the only parts of our bodies touching, yet the connected feeling was palpable.

I took a final deep breath. “That was incredible.” Incredible was an understatement. There weren’t words for what it really was. I looked over at the glorious lover beside me. “Seriously. How does sex with you just keep getting better and better?”

Hudson didn’t pause in his answer. “We’ve learned to trust each other.”

“Is that what it is?” It meant a lot that he trusted me after the things I’d done. In many ways I didn’t deserve it. But I would never betray him again. I’d grown past that.

“Yes. That’s what it is.” He turned his head toward me, his eyes narrowed. “Did I hurt you?”

“In only the best ways.” He had been rougher than usual. But I’d loved every second of it, even though I now felt raw and a bit tender. “I had no idea you were so into a shaved pussy.”

He smiled, his shoulder lifting as if in a half-hearted shrug. “I’ve never really cared. It’s you I’m into. Shaved, bushy—I’ll take you.”

I giggled. “I’ve never been bushy with you.” Bushy had never been my style. But if it was something Hudson wanted…

“But you could be and I’d be turned on.” His eyes darkened and I could tell he was imagining it. “Jesus, now I’m hard again.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. I’m not.” He nodded down toward his penis.

I had to look. Sure enough, it was hard. “You’re such a horn-dog.”

“Perhaps.” Except he’d always said it was me that made him crazy, no one else.

Could that be true? Could it really only be me that turned him on to no end, transforming him into a greedy lover?

It had been true for me. Until him, sex had been fun, but that’s all. Sometimes it could even begin an unhealthy obsession. But my addictions had never been about the physical. With Hudson it wasn’t exactly about the sex, either. It was more about wanting to be as close to him as possible. And, because it was Hudson and he communicated best with his body, being as close to him as possible involved being naked.

He’d never let anyone in before. Maybe sex really had only been for sport in the past. With us, it was speech.

Which might have something to do with why we still had such trouble talking to each other.

We were working on that though. So I brought up the subject that I knew neither of us wanted to broach. “I saw Celia.”

Hudson groaned. “And now I’m soft.”

My eyes flicked downward. “No, you’re not.”

“It feels like I should be. Come on—Celia?”

“Sorry. I thought you should know.”

“I suppose I should.” He sighed. “Did she bother you at all?”

“No. I didn’t talk to her. It was as we were coming down here. I think she was watching. On the deck above. When…you know.” How come I could do completely nasty things with the man and still be so embarrassed about mentioning them outright?

“When I made you come all over my hand?” Leave it to Hudson to say it bluntly.

It was quite the turn-on, actually.

“Yeah, then.”

“Hope she enjoyed the show.” His expression was proud.

Like I’d said before—total horn-dog.

I started to tease him back but then I realized he hadn’t been surprised by her presence. “It wasn’t Jack you were referring to who was the uninvited guest, was it? It was Celia. How did she get here?”

Hudson ran both his hands through his hair. “She came with one of the men in my advertising department. He’s always been interested in her and she’s never given him a second look. I’m sure she used his crush simply to get on-board tonight.”

It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about her, but he was willing so I pressed on. “Why does she want to be here so badly?”

“Maybe she wanted to see if we were still together. I don’t know. You know more about that kind of obsession than I do.” He didn’t say it to be hurtful. It was honest. I did know about that kind of obsession. Very well.

I let myself remember the reasons I’d been attracted to the men I’d stalked. “Somehow your attention validates her. Makes her feel alive.” I felt my tone get heavy with years of sadness. Recalling those emotions of my past was not pleasant.

Hudson narrowed his eyes, trying to read me. “Do you think I’m being too cruel to her by cutting her out of my life?”

“No.” Though if I were right—if she really did feel the way I suspected she did about Hudson—then I understood the pure devastation that she had to be going through at his dismissal. “Does that make me a shitty person?”

“No.”

Whether he was right or wrong, I accepted his absolution without debate. Besides, just because I understood how she might feel didn’t mean I could soften the blow in any way. Even if she had Hudson, she’d never really think she did. I’d never believed the men who were with me were really with me. Believing Hudson actually cared for me had taken a great deal of healing on my part. Those were steps Celia would have to take on her own.

But if Celia truly were obsessed with Hudson in the ways I used to be…

I shuddered to think of the lengths she might go to in order to win him. I voiced the nagging concern that had been tugging at me the entire night. “She’s never really going to be out of our lives, is she? She’s always going to try to destroy us.”

Hudson rolled to his side to face me. “It doesn’t matter.” He cupped my face, lining his eyes with mine. “You belong to me, precious. You belong
with
me. I won’t let anything come between us. I won’t let anything hurt you. Especially not her.”

The man couldn’t say
I love you
, but somehow he knew how to make declarations that struck right into the core of my heart. And his eyes—they backed up every word he said. I had no doubt that he would fight for me, fight for us. He hadn’t before. Now was a different story. Warmth spread from my chest throughout my body and I felt dangerously close to tearing up.

But I didn’t want to get emotional. I wanted to tell him how I felt in the way he understood best. With my body. I flashed a suggestive smile. “Now
I’m
turned on again.”

Hudson’s jaw relaxed and he pulled me flush with him. He leaned in until his mouth was a mere inch from mine. “So we can stop talking about her?”

He smelled of sex and champagne and Hudson, and my desire flamed instantly. “We can stop talking period.”

He covered me with his body, teasing me with flicks of his tongue along my jaw. At my neck, he nibbled and sucked, likely leaving a glaring hickey. Which was fine. Perfect, actually. He could mark me in any way he wanted. I was his. I wanted to be
known
as his.

I arched my back and pressed my breasts to his chest. God, I loved the feel of his skin against mine. My hips writhed underneath him, urging him to stop teasing and get on with it already.

He lifted his head to meet my eyes. “Stop rushing me,” he chided. He was always very conscientious about varying the moods of our lovemaking. The last time had been driven and furious. This time would be slow and sweet. Always, it was he that decided how it would go.

I didn’t prefer one tempo over another. Didn’t care if he made it fast or if he took all night. But as it was occurring, whichever way we were fucking, I always thought it was the best.

At his own pace, Hudson took me to where I wanted and needed to go. Loving me thoroughly with his body. Loving me entirely without words. Loving me completely.

And as we spun into the intoxication of our passionate interlude, I said to myself,
this time. This time is the best
.

Chapter Five

The boat docked while we’d been lost to each other in our stateroom. The drunken crowd had dispersed and
The Magnolia
was quiet—as if we were the only ones on Earth. Enveloped in Hudson’s arms with the gentle rocking of the water underneath, I slept better than I had in ages. I guessed he did too, if his mood had anything to say about it. His jet lag seemed to have finally been relieved. Oh, the power of great sex and a good night’s sleep.

We left before dawn, slipping off soundlessly. Jordan was waiting at the Maybach when we reached the top of the boardwalk. This time there were no reporters, no flashing bulbs—it was just the two of us and our driver as Hudson and I climbed into the back of the car.

Once on the road, I sidled up to Hudson, or as close as the restraints of the seat belts would allow. With his improved spirits, it was time to talk about the future. “I’ve been thinking about who’s going to manage The Sky Launch.”

“You.”

My head was tucked under his chin, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

I chuckled. “No pressure.”

“Yes, pressure. Lots and lots of pressure.” He stroked his hand down my hair. “I want you to run the club. I’ve always wanted you to run the club. I’ve told you that.”

I sat up to look at him. “I know. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about.”

“Go on.”

“I want to do it. I do. And I think I have the ideas and the marketing sense to pull it off.”

“You do.”

I’d only received my MBA a little more than a month before. I’d never been in charge of an entire business by myself. Hudson was being overly optimistic about my qualifications, especially when he intended to have very little to do with the day-to-day operations. “I adore that you think so highly of me, H, but I’m still lacking practical experience. Which was what I was looking forward to learning from David.”

Hudson rolled his eyes—an odd gesture on such a solemn face. “David would have held you back. You have more genius in your little pinky than—”

I cut him off with my finger to his lips. “Stop it. Your perception of my abilities is tainted.”

He kissed the top of my finger before he covered my hand with his and moved it to his lap. “It’s not.”

“Anyway.” There was no use arguing the subject. It was partly what had kept us at a standstill since he’d first brought up the idea. He believed I could do more than I believed I could do. It was endearing and empowering, but also overwhelming.

Still Hudson’s faith in me had worn me down. “I
want
to run the club. And I’m telling you yes to running the club—”

His eyes lit up. “Yes?”

“But on one condition.”

“That I also give you my body and soul? If you insist...”

I smiled but otherwise ignored his flirting. “I want to hire another full-time manager to share the load. Someone with the experience I don’t have.”

He considered. “I don’t see a problem with that. But I’d still want you to be the point person. And, hell, I’ll still throw in my body and soul.”

“Fine. That’s what I want.” I corrected myself before he could turn my words on me. “I mean I want to be the point person.”

“You don’t want my body and soul?” He twisted my words anyway. Of course.

“Shut up,” I scolded. “I already have that.”

“That you do.” He wrapped his arm tighter around my waist and kissed me on my forehead. “Go ahead and put an ad out today. Unless you already have someone in mind?”

“That’s just it.” It was hard for me to ask this. I’d been so insistent about me doing my job without Hudson interfering, but now I needed him to.

“What?”

I pulled away. It felt too odd to be in his embrace while discussing business. Too much like some form of nepotism. “Well, there’s no one at the club qualified. No one who knows more than I do. And if I put an ad out and got resumes…I just don’t think I’m going to find the type of person I’m looking for. Especially not as quickly as I need them. But maybe you, with your connections and everything…”

“You want me to find someone?”

I bit my lip. “Yes.”

“Done.”

“I haven’t even told you the type of person I’m looking for.”

He sighed. “Then tell me.”

This was hard for him too. I recognized that. He wanted to assume he knew what was best for me. Maybe he did. But if I was going to be his point person, I needed to have some control. “I’m thinking someone who has a history of managing a club or a restaurant, even. Someone with a resume. Someone who would know the right numbers for what should be incoming and outgoing and could handle the staff. I’d want to do most of the marketing and behind-the-scenes business while he or she would work more of the day-to-day operations. Or night-to-night operations, I guess is a better way to put it. Would you be able to find someone like that?”

“When would you want them to start?”

“Immediately. That way David could help with the training.”

“Like I said before, done.”

“Really?” I had expected more of an
I’ll-see-what-I-can-do
response. Hudson was powerful, but part of his effectiveness came from not making promises he couldn’t keep.

“Yes, really. I already have someone in mind. I’ll set something up.”

There. I’d done it. I’d agreed to run the club and it was happening under my terms. “Perfect.”

Hudson traced my cheek with his finger. “You know all you have to do is ask and it’s yours.”

A sudden wave of anxiety rolled through my belly. I turned to face the back of Jordan’s head. “Actually, I don’t know that, and honestly, that sort of makes me uncomfortable.”

Hudson put his hand on my neck. “Why?”

There were lots of reasons. But I settled on the most obvious. “I don’t want to be the floozy manager who only gets things because she’s fucking the owner.”

My eyes were still on Jordan. He was so good at his job—he didn’t even flinch at my crass language.

Hudson, it seemed, preferred that the conversation remain between us. He leaned in to whisper in my ear. “First of all, I love that you’re fucking the owner. Please don’t stop. Second, that’s not why you get things. You get things because you’re qualified. If you’d shown up to the interviews after the symposium, you would have had people fighting for you. But third, and most importantly, you get things from me because you’re my other half. Everything that is mine is yours. My connections, my money, my influence—it’s all half yours.”

I shivered. While I adored the sentiment—craved it, in fact—it also made my panic buttons go off. Those were the kinds of words that could make me think things I shouldn’t think. That I was more important than I was. That we were closer than we were. They were trigger words for me, and though I’d been healthy with Hudson, it had only come from diligence on my part.

But how I wanted to wrap myself in his declaration…

I swallowed. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Hudson nuzzled his nose against my earlobe. “You aren’t ready for that, I know. But I needed to tell you. As for your response, how about you say you’ll run our club?”

“I’ll run your club.”

“Ah—”

I knew my mistake immediately. Funny, how strongly I wanted to correct myself. I turned to meet his eyes. “I’ll run
our
club.”

“Now kiss me because you’ve made me a very happy man.”

He didn’t have to ask me twice. He didn’t even really have to ask me once, because his lips were covering mine as I opened my mouth to agree. His tongue slid in immediately, and he kissed me thoroughly until the car came to a stop in front of The Bowery.

Reluctantly, I released myself from his embrace. “Thank you, Hudson.”
For the chance to run the club, for helping me be successful at it, for loving me in the best way you know how, for finding me in the first place.

He swept my hair away from my shoulder. “No. Thank you.”

***

I spent the rest of the day at the club. After I’d realized I wouldn’t be in Japan, I’d arranged to meet with Aaron Trent to discuss an advertising plan. Our meeting was at one-thirty that afternoon and preparations took all morning. Throwing myself into work was energizing. I loved marketing and scheming. For the first time since I’d learned David was leaving, I felt really good about The Sky Launch’s future and my part in it.

Because of all my prep, and because Aaron Trent had the best ad team in town, our session went well, and we finished up earlier than I’d expected. It was just after three when our meeting concluded. Suddenly exhausted, I curled up on the couch in David’s office to chill out.

“Great meeting,” David said, as he entered the office. “I’m bummed I won’t get to see the fruit of all your work today.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you updated.” I stretched my arms in front of me. With the things Hudson had me doing the night before, it was no wonder I felt tired and sore. The memory brought a smile to my lips.

“What’s up with you today?”

I looked up to see David perched on the far arm of the couch, his eyes pinned on me. “What do you mean?”

His brow creased. “I don’t know if I can explain it. You’re different today. More on fire, if that’s possible.”

I thought for a moment. I’d always been passionate about my job, but that morning’s decision had instilled me with renewed vigor. “Well, I did tell Hudson this morning that I’d take your place when you leave.”

He beamed. “Finally! Now I can actually feel good about leaving.”

“Whatever. You’ve been excited about Adora since Hudson gave you the job.”

“Mostly because I’d thought Pierce was going to fire me. The promotion instead was a nice surprise.”

My smile faded. I’d convinced myself that David was eager to leave The Sky Launch. It made it easier to accept that he’d been pushed out because of my jealous boyfriend. Though I’d rather continue the illusion, the truth was more important.

I shifted my body to face David. “So you only agreed to take Adora because you thought you’d be fired from here if you didn’t?”

“Come on, Laynie. Let’s be honest. Pierce wasn’t going to let me stay here.”

David’s words may have been true, but I hadn’t gotten a chance to fight as hard as I would have liked to for him to stay. If he didn’t want to leave, if he really wanted to stay on at The Sky Launch, I’d go back to Hudson and duke it out. “But if he did—if that wasn’t the issue—would you have still said yes? Or would you have stayed here?”

David took a deep breath. “I’m not really sure, to be honest. Adora is the pinnacle of nightclubs. I’d never have an opportunity like that on my own. And I think I’ll do a good job there. There’s a whole team of managers I’ll be joining. I’ll have flexibility and support that I’ve never had before. It’s sort of my dream job.”

I relaxed some.

He moved from the arm to the cushion. “But it’s hard to leave the things you love. The move means leaving my home and my friends. This place.” He met my eyes. “You.”

“David…” I knew he had feelings for me, but now he was alluding to love. Dammit, that was closer than Hudson could get to saying I love you. I didn’t want to hear it.

He ignored my warning. “Don’t laugh, but I used to have this fantasy that we’d eventually run this place together.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. “I used to have that same fantasy.” I’d pictured that we’d get married and be this really cool duo who ran the hottest club in town. That dream vanished when I met Hudson.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Immediately I regretted the confession. David’s expression said it meant more than I wanted it to mean.

I swung my legs around so I was no longer facing him. “I mean, seriously. This place needs two managers. It was silly that you did it alone for so long.”

“I wasn’t really alone. The staff is full of great assistant managers.”

I smirked. “That’s not the same. Full-time commitment is what you need. I asked Hudson to find a partner for me today.” I looked down at my lap. “I don’t want to do it alone.”

David scooted closer. He lifted my chin with his finger. “Say the word and I’ll stay.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, David.” My voice was practically a whisper.

“You could.”

“No, I couldn’t. And you know why.”

He dropped his hand to his lap. “I do. But in answer to your earlier question—if it weren’t for Pierce, I’d never leave. You can pretend to interpret that any way you need to, but you know what I’m really saying.”

“I…I’m…um.” I bit my lip. David had been such a great friend when I’d had very few. And for a while, he’d been more. I was heartbroken that he was leaving. But I in no way returned the feelings he seemed to be declaring.

“You don’t have to respond. I get it. You’re with him.” He wouldn’t even say Hudson’s name.

“I am with him. Completely.”

“And if you’re ever not…” David had told me before that he’d be there if I decided things with Hudson weren’t working out. It was a ridiculous thing to promise. Especially because I was over him, and, even without Hudson, I wouldn’t fall back to David.

But I wouldn’t be that blunt about it to his face. He was already leaving. I didn’t need to hurt him further. So instead, we sat in awkward silence for several thick seconds while I debated what I could say that would be a gentle letdown.

Fortunately, I was saved by the ringing of my phone. I rushed to pick it up from the side table next to me, not even bothering to look at whom the call was from.

“Laynie!” Mira’s voice bubbled through the earpiece. “Are you busy? Can you talk?”

I stood and distanced myself from David. “Of course I can talk. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could ask a favor.”

“On top of being a model at your event?” I was only teasing. I’d do practically anything for the girl. She’d welcomed me into her family even before Hudson had. I owed her.

“A different favor. Man, I’m kind of needy these days, aren’t I?”

“How about I refrain from answering that until you tell me what the favor is?” Absentmindedly, I paced the room as we talked.

“Fair enough. Dad wants to have lunch with me tomorrow. And I don’t really want to be alone with his sorry ass. And I’d love to see you. So would you consider joining us?”