Read The Folly of the World Online
Authors: Jesse Bullington
Tags: #Fiction / Fantasy - Historical, #Fiction, #Fantasy, #Historical, #Fiction / Men'S Adventure, #Men's Adventure, #Fiction / Historical
“You don’t mean you approve of what the Spaniards are doing, or those bastards in Como?!”
“It’s not just Spain or Lombardy, they’re going after them in the Empire, France, and even our precious little Confederacy. As I say, I am not as well-read as you regarding just what they’re up to,” said von Stein, and Manuel saw he wore the same unhappy, fearful expression as when his employers, be they French, Imperial, or whoever he was working for at the time, came to inspect his troops. “Rome certainly hasn’t condemned it, and I’m nothing if not obedient, something else you could learn from me, obedience, but yes, I’m obedient to Rome, so who are we to say if what they’re doing is the Lord’s work or not?”
“And if the pay is good—”
“The money they’re paying if we deliver isn’t the issue, it’s what we lose if we don’t. Our souls, Manuel, our souls!”
Manuel crossed his arms, trying not to look at the bound witch.
“Tell a single man and I’ll have you hanged, I swear it.” Von Stein nibbled his lip. “What was promised me, what was promised all of us when I donated that stallion to the Church, is in jeopardy! Forgiveness, Manuel, for everything we’ve done! They’ll take it all away! If I don’t deliver the witch there will be no indulgence, Manny!”
Manuel’s eyes widened and his hands shook. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Yes, yes! They mean it, too, and of course the Spanish cardinals are—”
“You actually believe God will forgive your sins if you give the Spaniards a woman to burn?” Manuel looked like he was going to be sick as he forced a dry, barking laugh. “And that story about you trading your horse for blanket indulgences is true? You really believe the word of pardoners, you sad-eyed old cock? I thought only merchants with more coin than sense bought that claptrap!”
“What I believe is no concern of yours.” The fear von Stein had poorly concealed ignited into rage, and his fists tightened as he stared at Manuel. “What should concern you is getting that witch to Spain, because if you don’t hand me a letter with a certain seal on it you’ll be burned yourself, you little tick! Yes yes, I see you, Niklaus Manuel
Deutsch
, tacking a little Imperial flourish on your name, clawing your way up, here and at home, ever anxious to have a word with your betters, ever eager to pretend your father wasn’t a fucking peddler. You say you want to get involved in politics, my boy? Loose those lacey breeches, bend over, and take your first proper lesson, you mouthy fucking peasant!”
The men glared at each other, Manuel’s left eye twitching until the older man finally exhaled, deflating like a sack of wine around a table of good friends.
“Take her and get out,” von Stein ordered. “We’ll be in Milan, playing nanny until the Emperor arrives to throw his hired landsknechte against we fine Swiss confederates, our French employers, and whatever thick-headed Milanese are still about. You meet us there and give me the letter, I give you the crowns, and then you go home to that nice little house on Gerechtigkeitsgasse or whatever fashionably unpronounceable street you’ve set up on, yes yes?”
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” said Manuel, knowing full well that one always has a choice.
“No. You’re the only one I can trust to deliver her, Manuel, and you can tell your confessor it was my fault. And even if she isn’t a real witch and you aren’t doing God’s work, what’s another mortal soul on your tally? I wager you’ve lost track of how many you’ve killed, yes?”
“No,” said Manuel, finished with lying to von Stein for the night. Not only did he know the exact figure but he knew all their faces, most sketched from memory but a few on the field, and if he returned to his workshop in Bern he would have another seven saints to add to his pile of planks. He wondered if he could bring himself to sketch the witch—to date there was a dearth of female martyrs in his collection.
“Go on, then,” said von Stein, waving toward the witch. “Better you set out tonight and camp some leagues away, lest the rest of the boys get a whiff of her. Hard on them since Paula and the rest of her whores skipped off back to Burgundy. The Inquisitor’s name is Ashton Kahlert, and he’s got men waiting to receive her at the church in Perpignan, off the Barcelona road.”
“Kahlert isn’t a Spanish name,” said Manuel, but he was looking at the witch.
“They’re all Spaniards to me,” said von Stein.
“I’m going to lift you up now,” Manuel loudly informed the lumpy, bagged woman. “We’re going to march for a while.”
“She’s got a leash round her neck,” said von Stein helpfully, and with a sigh Manuel untied the tether and fixed it to the chain around her waist instead.
Von Stein rolled his eyes, put the money satchel back into a small chest under his table, and retrieved a sealed letter. He waited until Manuel had taken the letter and awkwardly led the witch to the tent flap before setting his pistol, a glorified hand cannon, on the table next to the sputtering candle. Just as the flap fell behind Manuel, his kidskin boots visible under the edge, the captain called out a final warning.
“And if you find yourself imagining it’s your wife or little niece under that witch-sack, and if you then find yourself imagining that maybe I won’t be quite so cross if tragedy strikes and the delivery does not transpire for any number of reasonable excuses, then, dear Manny, then I want you to remember, and you will not need to imagine because we both know that it is true, then I want you to remember that I know just where your wife and niece sleep this night, and every other.” Von Stein smiled and raised his pistol toward the tent flap as it was ripped aside, the touchhole at the base of the weapon hovering beside the candle. Manuel took three steps before he noticed the gun, and then the long blade of his sword slowly slunk back into its scabbard as the artist backed out of the tent. Von Stein smiled in the empty, bright pavilion, while outside in the damp night Manuel futilely tried to stop picturing his wife or his niece under the sackcloth and iron as he led the witch into the darkness.
The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart
The Enterprise of Death
The Folly of the World
“Beautifully balancing putridity, profanity, and poignancy, Bullington renders
The Enterprise of Death
resonant and achingly human—even as it brims with the unhuman.”
—
The Onion A.V. Club
“Striking and often funny…”
—
Publishers Weekly
“Discomfiting, disgusting and at times as grotesquely pleasurable as picking at a scab.”
—
Kirkus
“This debut novel is kind of like the unexpurgated versions of Grimm’s fairy tales, as imagined by Chuck Palahniuk on some seriously bad drugs. Bullington clearly has a great appreciation for the rich history of folklore, and his viscerally evocative writing is excellent.”
—
Library Journal
“Bullington is definitely a promising new writer of the fantastic.”
—
RT Book Reviews
“As the antithesis of conventional fantasy, this is a tour de force…”
—
The Telegraph
(UK)
“… A novel of great humor, deep theology and gratuitous murder and quite unlike anything I’ve read before. I absolutely loved it… one of the books of the year for sure!”
“The wicked sense of amorality and humor will appeal to many who like their humor dark. Like its amazing cover, it is a satisfyingly clever, well-plotted book that never takes itself too seriously and a very promising debut.”
“Bullington paints a world appropriately dark and sinister with a confidence that makes you wonder if he knew someone who lived there.”
“Darkly funny, profane, erudite, bawdy, and wickedly original… the debut of an amazing new talent.”
—Jeff VanderMeer
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In addition to the following texts, I am deeply in the debt of several individuals who assisted me with various aspects of this project. First among these is Ekaterina Sedia, who aided with a rare instance of non-Dutch translation, proverb hunting, and general wisdom-acquisition. Then there are the generous folk at the Erfgoedcentrum Dordrecht (the city archives and heritage center), the Nationaal Park De Biesbosch (especially Daniel—bedankt again!), and the Biesbosch Museum Werkendam, who took the time to assist a blathering Yank who barged in with a hundred esoteric questions of dubious import. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the youthful tutelage I received from Edgar and his mother Monique Wurfbain, Headmaster Himmel, Albert and Anika and their daughters, Michael and his family, Martin and his, a certain crew of role-playing students at the International School of the Hague, and especially my classmates in Poeldijk for all helping me along in my Dutch education. Penultimately, I must offer many, many thanks to Willem Valkenberg and Joyce Himbrecht for all of the above, as well as a thousand things besides—suffice to say, I owe them for putting up with me as an adult of suspect maturity in general as well as for their assistance with this book in particular. Finally, a rousing proost for Travis, Ari, and Riley of Amsterdam, and the staff of the Dordrecht Stayokay Hostel, for hosting me when I was researching this novel—the ability to relax and rest are crucial components
of a successful investigation, and never was I so relaxed and rested as when I was in their company.
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