The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (68 page)

There was also a note. It said “all good things.” Underneath the note, I could see where he underlined a sentence in the story:
You shall return to your house which is full of all good things, you shall see your land where you shall dwell in the midst of your kindred
.

I heard Ramesses gasp. Tia-Sitre was crying. The soldiers were at Ramesses’s side. He looked over at me with moist eyes. He reached his hand across the table towards mine.

Then I realized… the stains on the papyrus were from his blood…

*****

The papyrus rolled around in the air for a moment before landing in the river. I watched it unfurl, the ink bleeding, as the Shipwrecked Sailor traveled downstream. I cared nothing for happy endings, and this story would remain stranded in my heart like the man on the beach waiting for his countrymen to bring him home.

I am the last. And once the new king is crowned, I am dispensable.

The world was beginning to stir, but I had been up long before Ra’s ship had spotted the horizon. I stood alone and gazed out at the effervescent blue water churning gently in the wake of the early morning ferries. Despite the peace of the morning, my thoughts were still bloated with fear and death.

It was all happening so fast that I could barely keep my wits and emotions together. What with the loss of my daughter and husband so close together, I needed to find someone I could trust.

As despair threatened to overpower me, the worries trapped in my mortal shell were the only thing driving me forward. Each day became a fight to keep the emotions at bay, a fight to not give up, and a struggle to care for more than myself. I could not give in. I would not give in. That is not what my family would want me to do.

My dear husband rushed his departure, rushed to leave the temples, these scents, these sights, and rushed into battle after the loss of our second child. I could not let him die in vain. My plan could bring peace to the lands, and only I would be able to do this.

I am the last.

Part Five:

The Book of Gates Opens Ra Speaks

May He Harken to the Prayer of One Far Away!
1322 B.C
.

Pharaoh Ay’s Coronation – Year 1 Begins

The world had gone mad.

Mutbenret was down on the floor cradling her husband as he drifted away from the world. You could not tell her blood had stained the floor mere heartbeats earlier.

Ay was stammering quietly on my couch, staring with wide eyes at the apparition that was Djhutmose.

Guards had their swords raised and pointed at Djhutmose.

Horemheb stood by the door weakly. His sword dropped from his grasp and clapped the floor.

Tia had dropped to her knees and was singing praise to Adonai. Her eyes closed, her face raised to the ceiling. Her arms were outstretched as if waiting for a hug.

Amyntas held me to him tightly. My daughter was between our bodies shielded from anyone who would approach. Amyntas’s face was solidified with wonder.

Djhutmose stared down at Ay, his expression a mixture of disappointment and anger.

No one spoke for the longest time. I was sure the morning was nigh.

Was that my heart or Tawaret’s? I could not tell. Something was pounding inside of us trying to get out.

The wind had stopped. The Great River was silent. The world was holding its breath just like I was.

Djhutmose’s lips parted. “You begged for your life to be spared. You begged for a second chance.”

Ay shakily stood to answer like it was an accusation. “A life of what? I was your God’s joke! Demoted, shamed, laughed at? That is not what I asked for.”

“All the other soldiers that day who died, I think they would have begged for such a life instead of the chests filled with water,” Djhutmose scolded. He was angry now. I could feel the heat rise in the room as he spoke.

“You killed your father because of your actions! How can you speak to me of second chances?” Ay spat upon the ground. His physical shaking had stopped, but his voice was still on a quivering edge.

Was this a dream of mine? Perhaps Ay’s blade did cut out my life. Perhaps this was an illusion before my life would be brought before Osiris.

“My father made his choice, and I have come to terms with that. But you, you have never forgiven anyone. Your heart has never softened since that day I saw you last. And now look what your selfishness has done!” He pointed down to Nakht-min.

Nakht-min’s eyes were now closed. Mutbenret clutched him into every curve of her body. It is what I would have done for Tutankhamun if I had been there. If only I had not missed his goodbye.

Sharply, Djhutmose turned to me. His look softened. He approached with steady feet. I could hear the click of his staff with each step.

“You look just like your mother,” he said to me. “I want you to know that in the end, you saved your husband. He dines with his father and mother tonight.”

Tears burst forth at his words. “But he wanted to die because of me.”

“He found Elohim because of you. His soul will live eternally in paradise with all those he loves. For that, he is grateful to you.”

“Your words are kind, but you cannot know. He died hating me. I betrayed all his beliefs.”

Djhutmose stepped closer. He touched my cheek. His palms were warm…

My eyes blurred
, and suddenly all I could see was a horizon with a golden light fanning out across the sky. The grass was tall. I could smell its sweetness. Water flowed from somewhere in the distance. Laughter rang out. I could hear gentle waves washing up along a distant shoreline. I turned my head and… no, it couldn’t be…

Father and mother were chasing two of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. One looked just older than Tawaret. Her face resembled Meketaten’s. Her hair was the color of smooth, silky honey. The second girl was probably 5. She had soft cheeks, large almond-shaped eyes, and a nose that crinkled as she laughed. Her hair was long and black like a raven’s. Holding Mother’s hand was a boy in between the age of a child and a man. His eyes were plump almonds. His lips were full. His cheekbones were poking through and were high. His eyes were clear blue
.

Then a man stepped up into the horizon. He was walking up a hill and came up to my parents. His right elbow was linked with a young woman’s. In his arms was a baby, just barely a year old. I could hear her babbling. It was sweet and high-pitched. She was reaching up for the man… as I focused on his face, I hardly recognized him!

He had tall, straight legs. His skin was well tanned. His hair fell to his shoulders. His entire face was alight in a smile. It was a smile I rarely saw. I had seen this face on my mother when my sisters were born. Even Wahankh had this face as he died. It was a peace I had yet to touch
.

The man waved at me. It was Tutankhamun! My knees felt like wet clay
.

The woman looked much like my father. She had a smile that played at the edges of my memory. Her lips were full. Her eyes were bright. She pointed at me
.

Just then, five other girls came around from behind them. My heart stopped. I recognized their faces immediately. Mayati, Meketaten, Nefernefruaten Tasherit, Neferneferure, and Setepenre all grown up! Their faces were stretched into that of women. Their arms and legs were long. Their bodies were curved as Mother’s. Their hair flowed out from them like Aten’s arms. They rushed toward me, their arms outstretched
.

In the distance, someone approached. As the light became blocked behind his form, I could see curly hair flowing around his face. His body was lightly muscled. Dimples were poking at his cheeks as he saw me. My mother saw him too. She opened her arms to greet him!

But I only had eyes for Tutankhamun. His face… it radiated joy as he looked at me. Was that understanding there as well? Was it? My heart told me it was
.

I took a step toward him
.

I blinked, and he was gone. I was back in my room again. There was crying, swords pointed, confusion, anguish. But for one moment, I had seen paradise. I had seen him alive! Happy! Those two girls… the youngest ones… they were our daughters! And the other girl, Meket’s daughter, her soul had survived pendant or not!

Djhutmose took his hand back. “You showed him faith in God when he had none. He came back to Elohim, or as you both called Him, Aten, when he was dying. Now he waits to thank you when you arrive. You have given him everything he ever wanted. Now let yourself find happiness in this life. It is what he wants for you. He understands why, An. You are not at fault for his death.”

I wanted them back. I wanted to scream at him to bring them back. It felt like all colors had been wiped away from the world. Everything I saw now was dark and foreboding. I wanted to touch the happiness I had seen! Give it back, my body screamed!

He saw the look in my eyes. Djhutmose’s face was pained at my expression. That was when I knew he understood this emotion. He must have seen his loved ones too. To see such a thing and then fall back into this world?

I fell onto his chest. He put his robed arms around me, and I cried as never before. All my guilt came out and washed itself into Djhutmose’s robes. I felt lighter the more I cried. Despite all my tears that flowed, Djhutmose’s robes remained dry and soft like a blanket that wipes away the chill that creeps up on you in the night. I stood there and drained my body of everything.

I felt another set of hands on me. I looked to see Tawaret. Her eyes were hopeful as she looked at me. As much as I wanted to return to the vision I had seen, I had heaven right here with her. Her eyes, they were the eyes of the laughing girl, my second daughter. I wrapped her up close to me. All was not lost.

“Why did they have to die?” I asked my uncle. My body was weary, but my heart still had so many questions.

“You should not have had a child with such a young body. It has never completely recovered.” Djhutmose touched my stomach. Abruptly, I felt a sharp pain like a tightening fist inside of me. Things were moving, then stretching. I doubled over for a moment. I felt Tawaret’s hands grip me, holding me steady. Then the pain drifted away like the tears that had gushed out from my eyes. As I stood, I felt taller. I looked at Djhutmose.

He spoke again when I was ready, “I am sorry for the grief you have gone through. But know that death is not a goodbye. It is surrounded by sadness, but it should also be given joy. Their suffering has ended. Pain has been ended. But love, to that there is no end. You saw and felt it, Ankhesenamun. Be happy for your family. Do not trade today’s joys for yesterday’s sorrows. For everyone there is an appointed time, but for you, it is not today.”

I nodded my head. One thought popped up, prevailing through the haze of questions. I spoke it aloud. “They had souls after all. My daughters. The world said they did not.”

“Yes, they
have
life. You gave them that by your love. Now live yours and forgive yourself. Teach your children the stories, then give them that feeling you just touched. Go and love.”

Before I could respond, he made his way over to Mutbenret and sat himself beside her. Her sobs had quieted. Djhutmose touched his fingertips to her forehead, and she closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath, and it sounded like her tears were sucked back into her body. Her tense muscles released. When she opened her eyes again, there was clarity in them. She smiled softly and nodded her head. Djhutmose removed Nakht-min’s body from her lap and laid him on the floor. Then he took Mutbenret’s hand and stood her up. She did not look down again upon the empty form of her husband.

Djhutmose next faced Horemheb, “I believe you owe Ankhesenamun an explanation.”

My ears prickled at these words. I let go of Tawaret and watched Horemheb shift awkwardly.

“You must ask for forgiveness of your deeds if you want to find peace,” Djhutmose encouraged.

Horemheb sighed before he spoke. “When we traveled away from… from the cursed city for the first time, when Tutankhamun was 9, I had a dream. There was a man waiting for me in the desert. His skin was green. I assumed it to be Osiris. He said that because of you, Queen, Tutankhamun would die before he turned 20. I… I loved him as a son. I had to protect him. So when you were alone in Saqqara, I let the snake loose upon you. I thought it would be a quick strike. You looked asleep. I thought I could save Tutankhamun by doing this, but I was wrong. I know now that the man I saw in my dreams was not Osiris. It was his brother, Seth. He was trying to destroy all of us as he tries to crush happiness from the world. He used me for evil that day.”

A chill ripped through me. I felt Amyntas lay his hands upon my shoulders. I held my tongue as Horemheb continued to speak.

“Ay found out, though. He discovered the person I had purchased the cobra from. He said that when he made a move to take the throne, I would help assure him this seat. I would be his guard, his servant, his muscle. Otherwise, he would disgrace my family.”