The Forsyte Saga, Volume 2 (27 page)

GOING EAST

H
E
had not been on his knees many minutes before they suffered from reaction. To kneel there comforting Fleur brought him a growing discomfort. He believed her tonight, as he had not believed her for months past. But what was Wilfrid doing? Where wandering? The face at the window – face without voice, without attempt to reach her! Michael ached in that illegitimate organ the heart. Withdrawing his arms, he stood up.

‘Would you like me to have a look for him? If it's all over – he might – I might –'

Fleur, too, stood up. She was calm enough now.

‘Yes, I'll go to bed.' With Ting-a-ling in her arms, she went to the door; her face, between the dog's chestnut fur and her own, was very pale, very still.

‘By the way,' she said, ‘this is my second no go, Michael; I suppose it means –'

Michael gasped. Currents of emotion, welling, ebbing, swirling, rendered him incapable of speech.

‘The night of the balloon,' she said: ‘Do you mind?'

‘Mind? Good God! Mind!'

‘That's all right, then.
I
don't. Good night!'

She was gone. Without reason, Michael thought: ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.' And he stood, as if congealed, overcome by an uncontrollable sense of solidity. A child coming! It was as
though the barque of his being, tossed and drifted, suddenly rode tethered – anchor down. He turned and tore at the curtains. Night of stars! Wonderful world! Jolly – jolly! And – Wilfrid!. He flattened his face against the glass. Outside there Wilfrid's had been flattened. He could see it if he shut his eyes. Not fair! Dog lost – man lost! S.O.S. He went into the hall, and from the mothless marble coffer rived his thickest coat. He took the first taxi that came by.

‘Cork Street! Get along!' Needle in bundle of hay! Quarter-past eleven by Big Ben! The intense relief of his whole being in that jolting cab seemed to him brutal. Salvation! It
was
– he had a strange certainty of that as though he saw Fleur suddenly ‘close up' in a very strong light, concrete beneath her graceful veerings. Family! Continuation! He had been unable to anchor her, for he was not of her! But her child could and would! And, perhaps, he would yet come in with the milk. Why did he love her so – it was not done! Wilfrid and he were donkeys – out of touch, out of tune with the times!'

‘Here you are, sir – what number?'

‘All right! Cool your heels and wait for me! Have a cigarette!'

With one between his own lips which felt so dry, he went down the backwater.

A light in Wilfrid's rooms! He rang the bell. The door was opened, the face of Wilfrid's man looked forth.

‘Yes, sir?'

‘Mr Desert in?'

‘No, sir. Mr Desert has just started for the East. His ship sails tomorrow.'

‘Oh!' said Michael blankly. ‘Where from?'

‘Plymouth, sir. His train leaves Paddington at midnight. You might catch him yet.'

‘It's very sudden,' said Michael, ‘he never –'

‘No, sir. Mr Desert is a sudden gentleman.'

‘Well, thanks; I'll try and catch him.'

Back in the cab with the words: ‘Paddington – flick her along!' he thought: ‘A sudden gentleman!' Perfect! He
remembered the utter suddenness of that little interview beside the bust of Lionel Charwell. Sudden their friendship, sudden its end – sudden even Wilfrid's poems – offspring of a sudden soul! Staring from window to window in that jolting, rattling cab, Michael suffered from St Vitus's dance. Was he a fool? Could he not let well alone? Pity was posh! And yet! With Wilfrid would go a bit of his heart, and in spite of all he would like him to know that. Upper Brook Street, Park Lane! Emptying streets, cold night, stark plane trees painted-up by the lamps against a bluish dark. And Michael thought: ‘We wander! What's the end – the goal? To do one's bit, and not worry! But what is my bit? What's Wilfrid's? Where will he end up, now?'

The cab rattled down the station slope and drew up under cover. Ten minutes to twelve, and a long heavy train on platform one!

‘What shall I do?' thought Michael: ‘It's so darned crude! Must I go down – carriage by carriage? “Couldn't let you go, old man, without” – blurb!'

Bluejackets! If not drunk – as near as made no matter. Eight minutes still! He began slowly walking along the train. He had not passed four windows before he saw his quarry. Desert was sitting back to the engine in the near corner of an empty first. An unlighted cigarette was in his mouth, his fur collar turned up to his eyes, and his eyes fixed on an unopened paper on his lap. He sat without movement; Michael stood looking at him. His heart beat fast. He struck a match, took two steps, and said:

‘Light, old boy?'

Desert stared up at him.

‘Thanks,' he said, and took the match. By its flare his face was dark, thin, drawn; his eyes dark, deep, tired. Michael leaned in the window. Neither spoke.

‘Take your seat, if you're going, sir.'

‘I'm not,' said Michael. His whole inside seemed turning over.

‘Where are you going, old man?' he said suddenly.

‘Jericho.'

‘God, Wilfrid, I'm sorry!'

Desert smiled.

‘Cut it out!'

‘Yes, I know! Shake hands?'

Desert held out his hand.

Michael squeezed it hard.

A whistle sounded.

Desert rose suddenly and turned to the rack above him. He took a parcel from a bag. ‘Here,' he said, ‘these wretched things! Publish them if you like.'

Something clicked in Michael's throat.

‘Thanks, old man! That's great! Good-bye!'

A sort of beauty came into Desert's face.

‘So long!' he said.

The train moved. Michael withdrew his elbows; quite still, he stared at the motionless figure slowly borne along, away. Carriage after carriage went by him, full of bluejackets leaning out, clamouring, singing, waving handkerchiefs and bottles. Guard's van now – the tail light – all spread – a crimson blur – setting East – going – going – gone!

And that was all – was it? He thrust the parcel into his coat pocket. Back to Fleur, now! Way of the world – one man's meat, another's poison! He passed his hand over his eyes. The dashed things were full of – blurb!

BANK HOLIDAY

W
HITSUNTIDE
Bank Holiday was producing its seasonal invasion of Hampstead Heath, and among the ascending swarm were two who meant to make money in the morning and spend it in the afternoon.

Tony Bicket, with balloons and wife, embarked early on the Hampstead Tube.

‘You'll see,' he said, ‘I'll sell the bloomin' lot by twelve o'clock, and we'll go on the bust.'

Squeezing his arm, Victorine fingered, through her dress, a slight swelling just above her right knee. It was caused by fifty-four pounds fastened in the top of her stocking. She had little feeling, now, against balloons. They afforded temporary nourishment, till she had the few more pounds needful for their passage-money. Tony still believed he was going to screw salvation out of his blessed balloons: he was ‘that hopeful – Tony', though their heads were only just above water on his takings. And she smiled. With her secret she could afford to be indifferent now to the stigma of gutter hawking. She had her story pat. From the evening paper, and from communion on buses with those interested in the national pastime, she had acquired the necessary information about racing. She even talked of it with Tony, who had street-corner knowledge. Already she had prepared chapter and verse of two imaginary coups; a sovereign made out of stitching imaginary blouses, invested on the winner of the Two Thousand Guineas, and the result on the dead-heater for the Jubilee at nice odds; this with a third winner, still to be selected, would bring her imaginary winnings up to the needed sixty pounds odd she would so soon have saved now out of ‘the altogether'. This tale she would pitch to Tony
in a week or two, reeling off by heart the wonderful luck she had kept from him until she had the whole of the money. She would slip her forehead against his eyes if he looked at her too hard, and kiss his lips till his head was no longer clear. And in the morning they would wake up and take their passages. Such was the plan of Victorine, with five ten-pound and four one-pound notes in her stocking, attached to the pink silk stays.

Afternoon of a Dryad
had long been finished, and was on exhibition at the Dumetrius Gallery, with other works of Aubrey Greene. Victorine had paid a shilling to see it; had stood some furtive minutes gazing at that white body glimmering from among grass and spikey flowers, at the face, turned as if saying: ‘I know a secret!'

‘Bit of a genius, Aubrey Greene – that face is jolly good!' Scared, and hiding the face, Victorine had slipped away.

From the very day when she had stood shivering outside the studio of Aubrey Greene she had been in full work. He had painted her three times – always nice, always polite, quite the gentleman! And he had given her introductions. Some had painted her in clothes, some half-draped, some in that ‘altogether', which no longer troubled her, with the money swelling her stocking and Tony without suspicion. Not everyone had been ‘nice'; advances had been made to her, but she had nipped them in the bud. It would have meant the money quicker, but – Tony! In a fortnight now she could snap her fingers at it all. And often on the way home she stood by that plate-glass window, before the fruits, and the corn, and the blue butterflies.…

In the packed railway carriage they sat side by side, Bicket with tray on knee, debating where he had best stand.

‘I favour the mokes,' he said at last, ‘up by the pond. People'll have more money than when they get down among the swings and coconuts; and you can go and sit in a chair by the pond, like the seaside – I don't want you with me not till I've sold out.'

Victorine pressed his arm.

Along the top and over on to the heath to north and south
the holiday swarms surged, in perfect humour, carrying paper bags. Round the pond, children with thin, grey-white, spindly legs, were paddling and shrilly chattering, too content to smile. Elderly couples crawled slowly by, with jutting stomachs, and faces discoloured by the unaccustomed climb. Girls and young men were few, for they were dispersed already on the heath, in search of a madder merriment. On benches, in chairs of green canvas or painted wood, hundreds were sitting, contemplating their feet, as if imagining the waves of the sea. Now and again three donkeys would start, urged from behind, and slowly tittup their burdens along the pond's margin. Hawkers cried goods. Fat dark women told fortunes. Policemen stood cynically near them. A man talked and talked and took his hat round.

Tony Bicket unslung his tray. His cockney voice, wheedling and a little husky, offered his coloured airs without intermission. This was something like! It was brisk! And now and again he gazed through the throng away across the pond, to where Victorine would be seated in a canvas chair, looking different from everyone – he knew.

‘Fine balloons – fine balloons! Six for a bob! Big one, Madam? Only sixpence. See the size! Buy, buy! Tyke one for the little boy!'

No ‘aldermen' up here, but plenty in the mood to spend their money on a bit of brightness!

At five minutes before noon he snapped his tray to – not a bally balloon left! With six Bank Holidays a week he would make his fortune! Tray under arm, he began to tour the pond. The kiddies were all right, but – good Lord – how thin and pale! If he and Vic had a kid – but not they – not till they got out there! A fat brown kid, chysin' blue butterflies, and the sun oozin' out of him! Rounding the end of the pond, he walked slowly along the chairs. Lying back, elegant, with legs crossed, in brown stockings showing to the knees, and neat brown shoes with the flaps over – My! she looked a treat – in a world of her own, like that! Something caught Bicket by the throat. Gosh! He wanted things for her!