The Fragile Line: Part One (The Fine Line #2) (11 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY

~Matt~

Present Day

I waited for her to give me the green light.  Her points were valid, but we were too far gone now for them to make any difference.  I hadn’t been completely honest with her when I’d said that I wasn’t worried about tomorrow.  I just knew that the ultimate reality here and now was that we had already forged through the line that separated our friendship from our desires.  Now that it was behind us, it would be impossible to go back.  Our relationship as we knew it was already gone.  My only hope was that we’d both move forward from it, in whatever way that may be, fairly unscathed. 

With the way she looked at me right now, with hooded eyes, flushed cheeks, and a beautifully flawless chest that billowed with each deep breath she took, she’d surely be giving me the go-ahead to finish what we’d started.  She had to.  Hopefully, she’d do it soon because my self-control wouldn’t last much longer.  And judging by the moisture soaking through her panties, she couldn’t wait much longer either. 

As she deliberated, I continued to gently massage her through the fabric of her lacy bikini briefs, slowly, delicately, my pulse racing faster and harder with every moment that passed.  Her heated body throbbed against my fingers in response, and I momentarily froze.

Fuck me
, I couldn’t take it anymore.  She felt too damn good.  Too tempting.  I wanted her too damn much.  I’d have to stop now, or I may not be able to later. 

I reluctantly began to remove my hand from between her legs, keeping my full attention on her reaction to my withdrawal, hoping like hell she’d stop me.  When she realized I was about to quit, her eyebrows squeezed together.  So did her thighs.  She smoothly shook her head in defiance, a sly grin forming on her lips.

There’s my girl.  Thank Christ.

“Matt Langston—” I had no idea my name could sound so erotic on her voice.  “—if you stop right now, I’m going to scream.” 

I had to press my lips together tightly to keep my grin from getting too big.  “I have no doubt you’ll be screaming tonight, Pink, but I promise you it won’t be because I stopped.”

I slid her panties to the side and immersed my fingers within the warmth of her silky skin, provoking the most erogenous sigh to slip from her lips.  Her head leaned back and rested on the wall behind her, as she lost herself for a brief moment. When her magnetic eyes returned to me, she whispered, “You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Challenge accepted.” I kissed my way from her neck to her stomach, hands caressing, and teeth pinching as I slowly kneeled on the floor.  

“Oh, really,” she teased.  “What happens if you break your promise?”

I removed my lips from the tiny mole next to her belly button to look up and give her a reassuring smile, “Then I guess I’ll owe you.”

Her skin erupted in goosebumps as I bit the hemline of her panties and used my teeth to begin their descent to the floor, first stretching the fabric down around her left hip, then her right.  As the delicate material rested around her thighs, I couldn’t help but look up, connecting my gaze to hers, elated to find her pupils had darkened and breaths had deepened. 

As I looped my fingers on the elastic of her panties and pulled them the rest of the way down, I kept watching her, becoming addicted to the subtle, significant changes in her expression.  When my palm glided back up the inside of one of her legs and gave a gentle squeeze at the top of her inner thigh, she let out another soft whimper. 

Damn.
  I was beginning to love her sounds.

To my absolute surprise, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting the straps drop down her shoulders and to the floor.  Then, she took my face, guiding me back up to standing, and as her perfect breasts pressed against my body, she planted one of the most delicious kisses on my lips that I have ever tasted. 

My jeans became unbearably tighter the more turned on I got, to the point now where they were almost painful.  She must’ve read my mind because her hands made their way to the denim, undoing the button, sliding my pants and boxer briefs together to the floor with ease, her touch absolutely wrecking me as she took me in her hand and softly stroked.  Her lips crashed back into mine, no longer making any attempts to conceal her urgency. 

Most girls, in my experience, didn’t take the lead with me like she just did.  Not on the first time anyway.  Most found me intimidating.  Her boldness threw me…in a damn good way.

“
Fuck
, Chlo—,” I said as she sucked on my earlobe and licked her way down my neck.  She was giving me a goddamn sensory overload.  This girl wanted me
now
, and there’s nothing hotter than being attracted to someone who you know is attracted to you.  I struggled to keep my wits.  “—do you have any idea what you’re doing to me right now?” 

She had captured full control of me, that’s what she had done.  If it kept going like this, I’d be finished in minutes.  How the hell was I going to resist her enough to make this last?

As badly as my body craved a release, I couldn’t let it play out so fast.  Not if I wanted her screaming.  Not if I wanted her to remember us together like this and think about it later.  And now that I knew her rep was real, I needed to up my game.  She had experience, which meant I would have to show her I could give her something that no one else ever had.  To make that happen, I’d have to be in complete control. 

My mission now was to get her to want me, even after tonight.  Because I already knew I’d want her.

~Chloe~

Present Day

He took my wrist in his hand, forcing me to stop touching him. 
Oh no.
  Had he changed his mind? 

“Don’t worry, Pink, it doesn’t mean I want to stop,” he reassured.  “I just need you to do something for me first.”

Oh, that.

I gave him a knowing grin and began to kneel.  He caught hold of my underarms and lifted me back to standing. 

What the hell?

“Not that,” he chuckled. “I mean, yeah, I’ve been fantasizing about you doing that to me all night, but right now, it would be best for both of us if you could try something else for me.”

My eyes scrunched up in hesitation, “What do you want me to try?”

“Just try to let go tonight.  That’s all.  Know that there is nothing you need to do for me except be on the receiving end.  And trust me when I say I’ll have your best interest at heart here.  I meant it when I said ‘follow my lead,’ Chloe.  Let me take the wheel here.  Do you think you can do that?”

“I’m not some submissive, Matt.  I don’t like to be controlled.”

“I’m not asking for that.  And I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.  Just let me take care of you tonight.”

“I’m just not into kinky shit.” 

A laugh broke out of him, “Neither am I!  Jesus, woman, you’re impossible!”

His outburst made me smile.  There was something so refreshing about him and the way he responded to me. 

He had already aroused me past the point of return.  I couldn’t help but be even more turned on when his expression became serious and his hand tenderly cupped my cheek, his admiring eyes looking me down and up, devouring me, making me feel fearless and wanted.  He had thoroughly charmed me.  His hand moved down my neck and to my breast, the heat of his palm against my cool skin, and the pinch of my nipple sending chills down my spine. 

I almost panicked when he abruptly stopped and started to walk away.  But then I realized he was only going as far as his discarded jeans to get a condom out of the pocket.  He tore it open, and just before his fingers reached into the wrapper to remove it, I took his hand.

“Let me,” I whispered.

He hesitated, his face tense.  After a moment, he handed it to me, and I carefully rolled it on him. 

“Put your arms around my neck,” he requested, his voice raspy.

I did as he said, closing the gap between our bodies, staring him straight in the eye.  Even though I hadn’t given him an answer to his request, it was obvious that talking time was over.  I could tell by the way his eyes had darkened.  By the way his heartbeat pounded strong and hard between our chests.  The way his jaw clenched like he was desperately holding back. 

Then it dawned on me.  He wanted to make it last.  He wanted it to be good for me too.  That’s why he needed control.   That’s why he wanted me to let go and let him take the lead.

“Hold on tight,” he said, as he slowly lifted me like I weighed nothing. Good God, he was strong.

I clasped my legs around his waist, as he walked me into my bedroom.  Just when I thought he’d drop me on the bed, he stopped.  Instead, he held me one-handed and used his other hand to guide his cock slowly into me, free-standing all the while.  It was the moment I had waited for all night, and it felt unbelievable.  He held me still, filling me, as his tongue circled my nipple, the combination sending brilliant electrical currents from head to toe. 

My body pulsated around him, and I couldn’t contain myself.  I craved friction. “Matt, please.  I need you.  I can’t wait anymore.” 

What the hell,
I had never begged in my life. 

He released what sounded a hell of a lot like a growl just before gripping my hips and lifting me up and slowly back down onto him. 

“Again,” I immediately urged. 

He obliged, and this time he didn’t stop.  The movement remained composed and disciplined as he carefully lifted and lowered me, teasing me senseless, deliberately driving in and out of me over and over again, controlling my body with the grasp he had on me.  I held him tightly and squeezed my legs around his waist at just the right times, again and again until eventually I was the one in control.  His body stood still and strong as I rode him slow and steady, our gaze connected.  But I wanted more.  I had reached the top of the peak, and I was about to go over the edge—I just needed him to finish me off.

“Fuck, Pink, you feel goddamn incredible like that,” he said just before throwing me onto the bed, my body bouncing on the mattress from the impact.  He must’ve read my mind.  “But it’s my turn now.” 

He took me by the ankles and twisted me around so that my stomach rested on the bed.  Then, he yanked me to the edge of it, feet resting together on the floor and ass in the air.

“I know it’s deep this way,” he warned as he straddled me from behind and slid inside of me, causing a moan to escape my throat. “Does that feel okay?”

“Yes,” was all I managed to say.  And it’s what I continued to say over and over again as he thrusted into me hard and fast, just like I had desperately craved.  Then, as he brought me to my breaking point, I screamed it.  

“That’s right, Chloe, let go,” he said, driving in to me one last time, groaning in a deep growl as he came with me.  I tightened all around him, just before all the muscles in my body relaxed in sweet euphoria, “and when you’re done, we’ll start all over again.” 

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

~Chloe~

Age 18

“He’s here!” I called out to Brynn on my way to answer the door. 

I couldn’t hide the smile on my face when I opened the door and saw the two single roses in Ryan’s one hand and plate of three cupcakes in the other. 

“Did you make those?” I asked, as I pushed the screen door open. 

“Of course, I did.  Have you no faith in my baking skills?” 

I took the plate and stifled my laughter at the messy presentation.  Chocolate frosting and sprinkles were smudged everywhere—the plate, the muffin cups, his shirt.

He sighed.  “They didn’t start out like that.  They fell over on the way here.  And I won’t lie…these were the only three that didn’t burn.” 

“I think they look delicious.”  I set the plate on the end table by the couch and wrapped my arms around his neck.  “Thank you, Ryan.”

His hands found my waist, and he smiled as he kissed me. 

“Happy Birthday, by the way.”  He severed our connection to hand me one of the roses. “This one’s for you.  The other one’s for your sister.”

“Wow, slick move, Ace.  That’ll score you some points, for sure,” I teased, truly delighted that he had thought of my sister.

“Is she in a good mood today?” he looked over my head toward the kitchen. 

He had been a listening ear to my recent frustrations about her, and even though he hadn’t met her or been to our house yet, he was fully aware of her initial distaste for him. 

“Yeah, we talked.  I still have no clue what her deal was, but she seems to be over it.  She’ll be fine tonight.” 

I took his hand and led him to the kitchen.  Brynn’s back was turned to us as she stirred the spaghetti sauce and tasted a spoonful of it. 

“Brynn,” I announced, “this is Ryan.  Ryan, Brynn.”

She hesitated before turning around to face us, almost as if she was ignoring us.  Or avoiding us.  Or—scared of us?  When she did turn, Ryan immediately let go of my hand.   

Something was wrong.  I didn’t like the fear in Brynn’s eyes when she looked at him.  I didn’t like the surprise in Ryan’s face either.  I could’ve done without the tension that suddenly rose in the air too.

“Have you two met before?” I asked, cautiously.

Brynn smiled, shrugging off whatever had just struck her. “No, of course not.”  She set down the stirring spoon and reached her hand out to him, “Hi, Ryan.  It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“Hi,” he said, still seemingly jarred.  He reached out to hand her the rose. “This is for you…
Brynn
.”

“Thank you,” she said, as she hesitantly took the rose.  “Dinner’s almost ready.  Would you mind setting the table while I use the restroom?”

She continued to stare directly at him but spoke to both of us. 

“Yeah,” I replied, “no problem.” 

As soon as she left the room, I whispered jokingly, “I’ve heard about this thing that boys like to do with sisters.  You know…
sexually.
  If you’ve got the hots for my sister, it’s cool.  I could probably talk her into joining us in whatever you’re fantasizing about right now.” 

He didn’t smile.  Didn’t even look at me. 

“Ryan, what the hell?  You’re supposed to laugh at that.  What’s wrong?  You’re freaking me out.”

He sighed, “Nothing.  I’m sorry.  It’s just that she looks like someone I used to know.  Someone I thought I’d never see again.”

“Someone that you
want
to see again, though, obviously.  A girlfriend?”

“You’re my girlfriend, Chloe.”

“Is that what you want?” My defenses rose, “Because if you’re looking for something—or someone—else, I can assure you, I’ll be just fine.”

“Stop.  Please.  Shit, it’s your fucking birthday.  Let’s just get through this dinner.”   

My heart stopped.  “
Get through
it?  What do you mean
get through
it?  It’s supposed to be
fun
.  Ryan, please, just tell me what’s going on.”

He looked at me in a way I’d never seen him look at me before.  With a sadness that didn’t match his normally care-free demeanor.  A trepidation.  A remorse.  He pulled me to him and hugged me tight, his warmth putting me a tiny bit at ease.  “I’m sorry, Chloe.  I’m sorry.  It’s nothing.  Really.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  Maybe I’m just nervous.”  He lifted my chin and softly—compassionately—kissed my lips.  “Let’s
enjoy
your birthday, okay?” 

I nodded.  “Okay.”

When Brynn returned, she did her best to act cordial.  I could tell something wasn’t quite right, but she hadn’t been quite right for months, so that was nothing new.  She made every effort to keep the conversation going strong, but it all seemed so forced.  Before I started dating Ryan, nothing was ever forced between us.  Ryan sat next to me during dinner, but his muscles tensed every time I tried to touch him, and he barely said anything the entire night.

Immediately following the meal, as I cleared the plates, Ryan said, “I should go.”

“Already?” I said, shocked and a little hurt.  “But we didn’t have dessert yet.”

“Yeah, I need to—uh—get up early tomorrow.” 

“Since when?  Tomorrow’s Tuesday.  You don’t start class until noon.”

“I have some things to take care of in the morning.”

“What kinds of things?”

Brynn cleared her throat, “It’s okay, Chloe, just let him go.”

I raised both hands in surrender, “Fine.  You have both officially lost your minds.”

With that, I stormed down the hallway to my room and slammed the door behind me.  What the hell just happened?  Was I dreaming?

Ryan wouldn’t return my calls for the next three days, and on the fourth day, as I walked out of school at the end of the day, I saw him waiting in the parking lot, leaning on the driver’s side door of my car.  The somber look on his face immediately put me on edge.  I knew what was coming.  I had been worrying about it ever since my birthday dinner. 

He said nothing as I leaned up next to him. 

“Are you okay?” I asked.  “I’ve been worried.”

He shook his head in disbelief, like it was crazy for me to ask him a question like that.  Then, he focused all of his attention on the cement by his feet, mumbling something like,
“This is so unfair.”
 

“What’s not fair?” I whispered.

“Listen, Chloe.  I’m really sorry.  But it’s just not going to work.  I’ve tried to figure out a way, but it’s impossible.  There’s no way.” 

My eyes widened.  Even though I knew it was coming, the actual words said aloud stunned me. “What won’t work?  Please.  Talk to me.  What’s going on?”

“Us.  You and me.  I’m sorry, but it’s over.  It has to be.  I just didn’t want to tell you over the phone…you deserve better than that.”

It took all the strength I had to hold back the tears that threatened my eyes. “But…you said you were falling for me.  You said…”

“I know, okay!  I’m so sorry.  I’m a huge asshole.  I know I said that, and please trust me when I tell you that I believed it when I said it.  But I was wrong.  I don’t love you.  I wanted to because you reminded me of…” He sighed, frustrated.  “Never mind.  I just don’t have those feelings for you.  Those feelings were a fucking illusion.  And now, I know I’ll never be able to feel that way for you.  I’m sorry.”  

Then, he pushed himself off my car and walked away. 

“What did I do?” I shouted after him.  But he didn’t stop.  Just kept walking without looking back. 

~One Month Later~

I waited until he left the room to cry. 

His name was Carson, and I had just lost my virginity to him.  We met earlier tonight at a house party hosted by my friend Macy’s older brother who had recently returned home from college.  It didn’t take me long to get wasted from the Jell-O shots and spiked punch, but despite my intoxicated state of mind, I remained fully aware of exactly what I was doing when I followed him into an empty bedroom. When I allowed him to sloppily undress himself—and me.  When I gave him the part of myself that I had saved for Ryan.  Or someone
like
Ryan.

It had been a week since my high school graduation, and a month since Ryan broke up with me.  But only a day since I caught Ryan with Brynn. 

The pain and confusion of seeing them together, with his lips on her, and the regret they both had in their eyes when they realized I was staring at them, overtook me as intensely as when I found out about my parents.  Maybe even more so because this time, the only person in this world who had my back, had just stabbed it. 

Now, I had no one.

I hadn’t spoken to her since I saw them together yesterday with his mouth on her breast on our living room couch.  I guess she had forgotten that I’d be coming home early after working a half-shift at the restaurant. 

In a moment of boozed-up weakness tonight, I had the great idea to drunk-dial her to find out why she did it.  I didn’t get an answer, though.  Instead, I got a question from her. 

Depression and anxiety had been building inside of me for the last month, ever since Ryan said those irreparable last words—
I don’t love you.  I’ll never feel that way for you
.  But only after she told me over the phone that
she
loved Ryan, and she asked for my blessing in dating him, did I fully lose my shit. 

I mean… How could he?

How could
she?

How long had it been going on?

Was
she
the reason he broke up with me?

Nothing made sense.  Everything in my life had gotten off-track, and I had no idea exactly how or why it happened.  My sister, who I idolized, who had taken care of me, and who provided me with every last thing I needed to thrive in a life without parents, had ripped away everything she had given me; all the love and the confidence I had in myself and our relationship were gone. 

What a fucking tease.  

And Ryan, the man I loved, took it from her and stomped all over it. 

That bastard.

I needed to do something—anything—to rid myself of the nausea in my throat.  Of the hopeless stabbing in my chest.  Of the need to scream my head off and rip out my own heart. 

What better thing to do than indulge in liquor and sex?  It was the first time I had done either, and the excitement of it all had warded off my self-deprecating thoughts…for a little while, at least.  The emotions I felt afterward paralleled the heartbreak, but for some weird reason, the regret seemed worth it.  For a few hours, I was able to forget my life.  And the subsequent feelings of remorse were a hell of a lot more desirable than the constant worthlessness and anguish that followed me. 

At least Carson appreciated me
during
our brief, awkward, ultimately embarrassing encounter.  He desperately wanted
me
, even if only for a few moments.  That’s more than I could say for the people who were supposed to love me. 

The shame started almost immediately.  I hadn’t told Carson that I was a virgin, and when he realized it, things got awkward.  After finishing, he collapsed beside me to catch his breath, and after a few moments of silence, he said, “Uh—thanks for that.  I guess I should probably get back out there.  You know, back to the party.” 

“Yeah,” I whispered, still shaking, “okay.” 

I stayed under the covers and held in my tears long enough for him to get dressed and walk out the door, not once looking back at me.  The instant it shut, I broke down.  But my outburst only lasted a few minutes before I decided to suck it up and get on with my life.  Shit happens, and it would be best for me to get used to it. 

The next day, I saw the “For Rent” sign at the apartments behind Ricci’s.  After seeing the place, they offered it to me, and I moved in two weeks later.  The time I had to wait before moving in was spent avoiding Brynn at all costs.  It was easy because after I denied her request to date Ryan, she wanted nothing to do with me either.  She even said I
owed
it to her to give her my blessing.  She actually had the nerve to resent
me
for not wanting her to have a relationship with my boyfriend. 

Ex
-boyfriend.

Not that my blessing mattered.  She kept seeing him anyway.  Because, you know, she
loved
him.

After graduating high school, then moving across town, I began working more.  Even though I remained in my hometown, I lost touch with friends who had no clue what it was like to have to support yourself.  Friends who moved away to college.  Friends who I had no reason to trust because after Brynn did what she did, I learned that nobody could be trusted anymore.  Ever.

I became isolated.  Lonely.