The Ginormous Book of Dirty Jokes (120 page)

BOOK: The Ginormous Book of Dirty Jokes

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A man is dating three women and wants to decide which one to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new makeup and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra-large condoms.

He replies, “Yes, we do. Would you like to buy some?”

She responds, “No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?

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Published in the United States by
ULYSSES PRESS
P.O. Box 3440
Berkeley, CA 94703
www.ulyssespress.com

First published as
1000 JOKES You Never Could Tell Your Mother
in
2006 in the U.K. by Facts, Figures & Fun, an imprint of AAPPL Artists’
and Photographers’ Press Ltd.

eISBN : 978-1-569-75945-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2007907742

Distributed by Publishers Group West