The Girl in the Mirror (Sand & Fog #3) (18 page)

The raging desire pulsing through him makes every cell in my body come awake, and what I feel inside him from how he’s kissing me I feel inside me in how I answer each kiss and thrust.

My body starts to twist against him in wanting urgency, pushing into him, the hardness against my demanding sex, and my flesh heats with the building arousal.

Jacob pulls away, putting several steps between us.

He leans forward, inhaling deeply. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I stare at him, and the way he looks, flustered and cute, makes me smile. He’s not fooling either of us with that—though I don’t know why he pulls back the second things feel right—but I do know he’s feeling it.

“I’m not sorry you kissed me. Surprised? Yes. Sorry? No. I don’t think you’re sorry you did that either.”

He makes a small laugh of frustration. “No, I don’t feel sorry for kissing you. I should. But I don’t.” He’s staring at the ground as if not trusting himself to look at me. “Can we go into the party now?”

“I’m not sure why you think you should be sorry, but I’m glad you’re not. I liked being kissed by you. And yes, we can, if you promise later we can talk about what happened here.”

Hesitantly, he looks up at me. “Do you want to talk about what happened here?”

My pulse jumps. How can he still be unsure if I’m interested in him after that kiss? I take my lower lip between my teeth and nod.

He shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “Then that’s what we’ll do, but right now I need to get you inside, Krystal.”

“I’d rather be somewhere alone with you.”

My heart is hammering against my chest as I wait for his response to my making the second move after his unexpectedly wonderful first move.

He’s studying me, shaking his head, like I’m driving him crazy and he doesn’t know what to do.

I bite back another smile as I wait.

“Party first. Then somewhere alone. After. If you still want to.”

He straightens up and takes my hand, only this time I ease my body close into his arm so he won’t doubt that I want to be alone with him later.

My cheeks hurt from smiling and happy flutters fill my stomach. Who would have ever thought, after how we began, Jacob Merrick would be the first guy to give me butterflies?

As I step inside the house a blast of sound and motion hits me. My heart stops as my gaze anxiously roams the room. These aren’t Madison’s friends. They’re mine…

“Surprise,” they shout in a deafening chorus.

Madison stands on a table beneath a banner that reads:
Watch out, Manhattan. There’s a new Dancer in Town.

“I know you didn’t want a party, K-bell, but we couldn’t send you off without letting you know how much we love you,” Maddy says in a voice that makes my composure desert me.

I look over my shoulder to find Jacob hanging back, his hazel eyes smiling at me.

“Jacob”

I sit on the floor, Krystal against my chest, my arms and legs surrounding her, and she can’t stop shaking. I don’t blame her. I’d be overwhelmed, too. Her friends hugged and kissed her, pulling her around the room for an hour, and now this.

I’ve never seen anything like it. Spectacular and soft of color like her, flashing lights with pictures of her everywhere, all the walls inside and out a never-ending slideshow. Moments of her life I’d never seen before, when she was young and now, alone and with her family. Some of the images make me smile, some make me laugh, others make me want to kiss her. It’s like living her life and being alive with her in each shot, and I’ve only just met her.

Nick wasn’t exaggerating.

Ethan is a genius.

He turned the montage of Krystal’s life into art.

Madison stands in the center of the room, flapping her hands. “Everyone, quiet down. We have a special film made by the extraordinary Kaley Rowan with the help of all of us and her family.”

Maddy hurries back to her spot beside Krystal and beams. “You’re going to love this, K-bell.”

She leans her head on Maddy’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Did you think we’d let you leave without a party? We’re all proud of you. We all love you. And we’re all going to miss you to death.”

“I’m going to miss you, too, Maddy.”

Sniffling.

Is Krystal crying?

Madison puts an arm around her. “Hey, what’s with the tears? This is supposed to make you happy.”

Krystal brushes at her cheeks. “I am happy. But it seems real now that I’m leaving. It’s one thing to want something and another thing to feel it. I didn’t expect knowing I’m leaving home to feel this way. I didn’t think about that part of this.”

Maddy nods. “Leaving, but not gone. There’s a difference. You’ll never be gone from home and us. Wherever you go you take us with you and wherever you are you’re with us. That’s how family works.”

“Stop, you’re going to make me cry again.”

Madison’s nose scrunches up. “No, don’t cry, you’ll ruin your face.”

As they laugh, their heads rest against each other, and when they pull back I run my palms slowly down Krystal’s quivering arms.

I feel a heavy stare and shift my gaze to Madison. She smiles before she plops around to face the wall. “Roll film, Nick.”

Music pours from all around and on the wall in front of us begins
Tiny Dancer: Our journey with Krystal.

Kaley Rowan fills the wall in front of us. “Hi, K-bell. If I know you, you’re sitting there serious on the inside, bright smile on your face, apprehensive and wondering what has Kaley done now? Don’t worry—”

The room fills with laughter.

“—and really, how shocking could I make your life? You are a real-life angel. You’re beautiful, funny, smart, sweet, talented, and you’re going to go great places in your life. Don’t doubt it, baby girl, because we don’t.”

The film moves through video of her dancing and then Christian Parker appears. “Krystal danced from birth. I felt a little bad about it. You could see she loved it, but I was pretty sure she’d inherited her coordination from me…though maybe Alan…I’m not really sure…what I’m trying to say is we were very worried. All parents want their children to have their dream, but it didn’t seem possible, well, that is until she could walk. And I realized, she couldn’t dance yet because she couldn’t walk. Relief and joy for me, and off you soared. There is no one else like you, baby girl, and I couldn’t imagine our family without you. You fill our world with laughter, happiness, and love always”—Chrissie scrunches up her nose—“though there were times…”

Groaning, Krystal covers her face as the video progresses into what can only be called family bloopers. My face starts to hurt from smiling. Who would have thought she was a clown and troublemaker?

“I’m going to give you the same advice I gave your mother and your sister when they left home for the first time,” Jackson Parker says. “I know you think you have a set road map for your life. But some of the best roads are the ones we least expect. Take time in New York to get lost now and then. Sometimes getting lost is the only way you can find yourself.”

“I love you, Poppy,” I hear Krystal whisper on mostly breath before she makes another fierce swipe at the dampness on her face.

“This is the part where Kaley said we have to say something nice to you,” her brother Eric states, and Krystal starts giggling. “But instead, I’m confessing because I’ve felt bad about this for a long time. It was me, Krystal. Not Kaley. You can stop carrying a grudge now. I destroyed Ballerina Barbie. Which didn’t do anything because you kept the darn thing. But I really hated Ballerina Barbie.”

He holds a mutilated creation up to dance on the screen. She falls back against me, laughing.

“I’m confessing, too,” Ethan adds in his placid voice. “I hacked your cloud to get video and the pictures for Kaley. It took me two seconds. Haven’t you learned anything being in this family? Change your passwords once in a while. Now I have stuff to blackmail you with forever.”

Groaning, her eyes go wide as I’m sure never-before-seen pictures start to fill up the walls around us.

Laughter escapes from deep in my chest, even as I try not to let it because Krystal’s face is cherry red. “Those have to be the worst collection of selfies I’ve ever seen. You’re a goof.”

Looking over her shoulder, she pouts to hide her smile. “Don’t make fun of me. I was bored and largely forgotten as a child. Don’t let them fool you.”

“No, never,” I whisper close to her ear, but I pull back quickly.

Watching this is like drowning in her. I’m seeing parts of her I hadn’t seen before working at the house or even in Malibu, things I couldn’t see being only in her world and not in her life. Things that make me want her more.

I tilt my head back against the wall as I watch the video of her. The silly side. The unsure hiding behind an overly exaggerated expression—
it makes her looks so like her mother
. The fragility in her eyes no matter what she does. The quiet determination claiming her body even when she’s alone in her studio.

Turn Krystal and she shines differently, and every facet is amazing. Chrissie named her perfectly.

My mood plummets and I close my eyes. Nothing has ever made me more aware how unattainable she is for me than this. For a moment I forgot who she was. Girls like her are not for guys like me.

I need to figure out a way to step back from where I left us in the driveway. It doesn’t matter if she wants to pursue whatever that was we were both feeling out there. It doesn’t matter if holding her and sharing this with her feels like the most right thing I’ve ever known with a girl. This film is a blast of instareality.

What the hell would she need with a guy like me?

She lives a life filled with extraordinary.

I’m a guy from Ohio whose best gig in life will be working for her father.

That math won’t ever add up.

“Hello, sunshine.” A raspy voice causes my eyes to fly open and Alan’s there on the wall in front of me, staring out, making every nerve in my body zap.

“I know you wanted me there tonight and Chrissie was wrong when she said,
‘Alan, that’s mean.
You’re not going. No girl wants their father at a party with her friends.’—
”

I straighten up, loosening my hold on Krystal.

“—My response was
‘Of course she does, love. Who wouldn’t want me at a party?’
But you can see who won. Or did she? Maybe I haven’t arrived yet.”

Krystal’s lithe body shakes from her laughter.

Alan brushes back the hair from his face, then flashes his megawatt rock-star smile. “I’ve been trying all day to figure out what I should say to you. One would think five kids and having Kaley already off into the world would have provided some inspiration. Something wise. Something profound. Then I realized you don’t need advice from Pop. Who you are is more than enough to achieve anything you want. You’re a remarkable girl. Everything you do, you do brilliantly. There are only two things a man should say to his daughter at this moment. First, I love you, sunshine. And second”—Alan’s penetrating black eyes go wide and intense—“don’t trash the house, love.”

And his thundering laughter fills the room.

“Don’t trash the house, love,” Chrissie says, mimicking Alan to perfection.

“Don’t trash the house, love,” Kaley orders and then arches a brow in the exact image of her father.

“Don’t trash the house, love,” Eric and Ethan shout in unison.

Khloe holds up a sign:
Don’t trash the house, love.

“We love you, Krystal,” screams the entire family in the final frame, then the lights turn up to a soft dim with colored streams darting through the glass from outside.

Krystal is a tight ball, hugging her legs as she laughs through tears. Her body is pulsing with emotion and I have to fight not to touch her as she struggles to hold it back.

She turns her head, looking over her shoulder at me, her eyes sparkling. “I can’t believe they did that. You’ve known about the party all day, haven’t you?”

I nod, smiling.

“I can’t remember ever being as blown away by anything. I have a pretty nice family, don’t I?”

I touch her cheek. “Nice? No, Krystal, your family’s incredible and everything anyone could want.”

She nods, choking back more tears.

“Well, that’s all folks,” Madison exclaims, and I turn my head to find her standing in the center of the room. “Let’s party.”

Music fills the air, and everyone starts to move out onto the patio and the roped-off section of beach beyond.

I disentangle from Krystal, stand, and help her to her feet.

“Do you want to go walk on the beach?” she asks, sinking her teeth into her lower lip to hide her smile. “Talk now?”

I step back. “Not yet, Krystal. There’s something I have to do. Go have fun with your friends. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Her eyes change into a blend of hurt and confusion, and inwardly I groan. That sounded like a brush-off and no matter how I handle putting the brakes on with Krystal, only a first-class jerk would do it in the middle of a party.

Her gaze rapidly dissects my expression. “Why does it feel like everything has gone wrong between us again?”

I run my hand over my hair to keep from touching her. “There’s something I have to take care of, Krystal.”

Her brows pucker. “Whatever it is, can’t it wait? Or is it that you don’t want it to wait?”

The way her gaze clouds before it lowers to the floor makes my heart clench because I know it must seem to Krystal like I’m blowing randomly hot and cold in prick mode.

I don’t mess with girls’ emotions—I’m no player. Far from it—but that’s how my stepping back after kissing her is going to seem no matter how I do it.

Damn.

“Brayden’s out front. I don’t know who else from the security company is working the party for your parents. It’s a good idea for both of us for me to check that out.”

“Oh.” She looks up. “The way you said
catch up with you later
, it sounded like—” She shakes her head and then makes a face. “Never mind.”

I feel like an asshole because I panicked and lied, and I’d have to be a moron, after watching that video, not to understand what’s really underneath the bright smile and her silly expression.