The Gladiator’s Master (12 page)

Something in that smile made Gaidres still inside for a moment, as if holding his breath. And then the moment passed, as he felt the impending arrival of an orgasm he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, hold back.

“Caelius,” he gasped, and his lover cupped his face with gentle hands.

“Yes.” As if he knew what words clogged in Gaidres’s throat, refusing to be freed.

And then whatever hovered between them exploded, shattering and taking them along with it. Their lips met and clung, hands grasping tight, and they came together, ending the moment in a panting, collapsed tangle upon the silk covers stained with proof of their passion.

Gaidres didn’t move. For the first time he didn’t feel the driving urge to be away, to separate himself and wash the evidence from his body. Instead, he lay, arms around Caelius, still buried inside him, and just…let himself be.

Caelius relaxed beneath him gradually. His hands gently stroked Gaidres’s back and his legs uncoiled from Gaidres’s hips as his breathing slowed. Then Gaidres shifted, brushing his lips along Caelius’s jaw, and Caelius murmured his name.

Caelius kissed his shoulder, moaning in protest as Gaidres pulled out of his body. But then he slid an arm around Caelius’s waist, pulling him close and the other man sighed, curled into him and fell asleep in an instant. Gaidres did not have as much luck finding his rest that night.

Because for all that the hard fucking had succeeded in wiping his mind of troublesome thoughts, the effect lasted only as long as the fucking itself. Now those thoughts, especially the feeling that he was betraying Kerses, were back, stronger than ever, and he was beginning to think they weren’t going away.

Caelius cast a sideways glance at Gaidres and tried to ignore the quick cut of hurt as his new guard pretended to keep an eye on the open ground surrounding the road. It had been like this since he’d awoken in the morn to find Gaidres already gone from his bed, off to gather what he would need for the journey.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep the night before, but Gaidres’s weight had been comforting and Caelius had been able to relax for the first time in days. For whatever reason, Gaidres had allowed that new intimacy and Caelius hadn’t been about to draw attention to it and upset the fragile moment.

“The roads are good. We should reach Rome sometime this afternoon,” Caelius said to the silent man who rode beside him.

“’Tis very likely, Dominus.”

Caelius wrestled with his own confused welter of emotion, but tried to let Gaidres be. It was obvious the other man regretted their closeness as much as Caelius had reveled in it.

Gaidres wore his new armor and weaponry as if he’d always carried such fine gear. Nothing about him reminded Caelius of a slave. Which was how it should be.

His thoughts would not stop hounding him with ways to capture Gaidres’s attention, tactics to get the man to smile or maybe even laugh. Frustrated, Caelius fell back to the
carpentum
where Helene, Faustus and the wet nurse rode safe from the dust of travel. At least it wasn’t hot any longer. The days were cooling fast. He pulled his horse up next to the covered cart and knocked on a panel of wood, smiling as Helene pulled it back.

“Does all go well with you? Do you need anything?” He’d arranged for a litter for them once they reached Rome. They’d stay the night before leaving by boat in the morning for home.

“We are fine, Dominus. The babe likes the motion more than I.” She shifted on the bouncing seat with a stoic expression on her lined face.

After a few moments of conversation, she shut the panel again to protect Faustus. Which meant he had nothing to distract him from Gaidres’s mood. Even Felix was not talkative. Caelius fell back in beside Gaidres, casting him a searching look.

“We have fine traveling weather.” Was he really making such mundane conversation? He’d been at it most of the morning, with brief respites as he tried to think of a different topic.

“Yes, Dominus.”

Caelius sighed at Gaidres’s short response and fell back again, leaving him to his thoughts. He had known Gaidres would eventually react this way. And he’d prepared himself for it, or at least he’d thought he had. Yet the rejection still stung no matter how much he tried to reason it away. He had Gaidres’s lust and a few rare moments of tenderness, nothing more. And he couldn’t expect more, no matter how much his heart demanded that he strive harder.

The number of travelers on the road increased as they came nearer to Rome and the morning crept toward noon. Caelius spotted a shady resting spot ahead and gestured to Felix. “Let us stop here long enough to stretch our legs.”

Felix nodded, his expression more somber than usual. “A rest would do us all some good. I’ll ride on ahead and put together a few things from our supplies for a cold meal.”

Perhaps that would lighten Gaidres’s mood. Caelius had not missed the way the gladiator’s hand kept straying to the hilt of his sword. He’d cast Caelius a quick glance before turning his attention away again.

He’d be a fool to think that Gaidres harbored no more thoughts of killing him after the night before. He wanted to be that fool and if it wasn’t only his life at risk he just might ignore those signs. Instead, he’d ask for Gaidres’s vow the first moment he had a chance to speak with him alone.

Unable to rouse his own hunger, Caelius took Faustus from Helene to allow her the chance to eat. He paced the around the
carpentum,
his son tucked in the crook of his arm, falling fast asleep as Caelius mourned this new distance between himself and the gladiator. There were too many differences between their worlds and Gaidres had no interest at all in finding common ground.

He concentrated on Faustus in his arms, smiling at the way the babe’s chin would wobble in his sleep, or the way his nose would wrinkle as a new scent came to them on the breeze.

“Soon we’ll be in Rome, little one, I doubt you’ll sleep so through that noise.” Caelius glanced up as he sensed eyes on him and found Gaidres staring at him. After a moment of silence, Gaidres rose from his seat at the base of a tree and approached him. He gestured to the child.

“He is a handsome babe, Dominus. He is well?”

Caelius glanced down at his son. “He grows stronger every day. Helene thinks the fresh air and calm of my villa in Caere will see him recovered from his birth fully.”

Gaidres reached out to stroke one fingertip against Faustus’s soft cheek, then pulled back. “That is good.”

Now was a good time to address at least one of his concerns. “May I ask something of you, Gaidres?”

“Your will is my own, Dominus.”

“I would ask your word that you will not make an attempt on my life today.”

Gaidres agreed without hesitation. “You have my word, Dominus.”

“Gratitude.” He wanted to ask Gaidres what he’d done to offend him, but he feared the answer, not to mention the possibility that he might only drive Gaidres away again.

Faustus’s eyes blinked open and he fixed his serious gaze on Gaidres’s face before forming an O with his mouth and making a funny little chirping sound. Much to Caelius’s surprise, Gaidres beamed and once again stroked the babe’s cheek. “He looks bright-eyed enough. Be wary of him, Dominus. With those eyes and curls he’s likely to grow into a little one bent on mischief.”

Caelius found himself smiling back. “I’m sure you know all about little ones who get into mischief, Gaidres.” He could see Gaidres as such a boy and maybe, if the gods were kind, he’d get to see Faustus getting into the kind of trouble Gaidres was thinking of.

“Perhaps I do.”

Caelius bent his head and brushed his lips over Faustus’s forehead. The other members of their group were stirring, putting the remnants of their meals away and with that their respite was over. Caelius hoped that the tension wouldn’t return once they were on the road again.

“Gaidres…” he started and then stopped, uncertain whether or not he should say more.

“Yes, Dominus?” Gaidres pulled his eyes away from the babe and for a moment, one sweet moment, his expression was unguarded. Caelius wanted to lean in and kiss him.

“If I’ve somehow caused offense, I apologize.”

Gaidres stiffened, jaw tightening as he glanced away. “You did not, Dominus.” Already the other man seemed to regret his moment of openness. No doubt he cursed himself for forgetting that Caelius was still his enemy.

He sighed and took a step back. “Very well. I will not keep you from your duties.” He gave Gaidres a small, sad smile and then turned away to bring his son back to the nurse.

When they got back on their horses, Gaidres took up his position beside Caelius. Personal guards needed to stay alert, but Gaidres refused to look at him. Instead he scrutinized the surrounding area.

They would be in Rome soon. Then in the morning they’d truly be on their way home. His soul longed for the quiet, windswept cliffs, the view of the sea and all the people whom he had left behind. He wished they could stay longer, but he feared that if he did spend months at home he would lose all the political progress he had made.

He wished he dared speak of his concerns to Gaidres. But Caelius held his peace, rather than antagonize him further. Perhaps this month together would lessen his want for the man and then he could turn his attentions elsewhere. He doubted it, though.

Despite the fact that Gaidres was still keeping him at a distance, Caelius’s heart lightened when he spied his villa sprawling across the top of the cliffs. Home. He was home again. Some of the aching in his heart eased at the sight. He had missed this place. He’d buried it under work, trying to reclaim the wreck of his uncle’s villa and
ludus
and furthering his aspirations. Aspirations that hadn’t seemed so important in the last few weeks.

Politics had been a game, a way to pass time and advance his family. Now when he thought of his career, he realized how much time he’d be spending away from his son. And he’d have to continue to involve himself in bloodsports that used people like Gaidres.

And Rome and the Senate were changing so much, as well, moving in a direction that disturbed him. It made him question what he was actually doing to change things. Here at home, he could see with his own eyes the difference he made.

“Is that yours, Dominus?” Gaidres stood at the ship’s rail beside him, the tang and wind of the sea whirling around them. It was the first bit of conversation he’d offered since they’d reached Rome. The city had darkened Gaidres’s mood further and Caelius hadn’t pressed him.

“It is.” Caelius drank in the sight of the villa as the setting sun cast a rosy glow over the buildings. “How did you know?”

“Your face changed when you saw it.”

Caelius looked at him, a lump rising in his throat. If only he could give Gaidres something that would light up the shadows inside him and give him some peace. He turned his attention back to the villa before he said something that betrayed his feelings and then pointed to the pier jutting out into the choppy water. A small delegation waited there. “That would be Demetrius and others to see to our comfort. He is in charge of my household when I’m away.”

Gaidres merely nodded, not answering him, and kept an eye on the sailors who now bustled around, preparing to dock. Caelius touched his hand on the railing and met his eyes. “I hope you like it.” Valeriana hadn’t. She’d preferred being in the nearby city whereas Caelius only left his lands when he had to.

Gaidres drew his hand back, gesturing to the pier. “We’ll be docking in a few moments, Dominus. Do you not wish to gather your son and introduce him to the people he will one day inherit?”

Caelius’s lips tightened at the abrupt withdrawal. “Of course.” He swept up the end of his robe over his arm and brushed past the gladiator to head below deck. Gaidres followed him at a distance. It was almost maddening how seriously the man took his duty to protect him. Physically he stayed close, but otherwise he could not be more distant.

Once again, Caelius’s mood lightened as he laid eyes on his son. He bent low to brush a kiss to the babe’s forehead. “Welcome home, son.”

A sound from Gaidres drew his attention and Caelius watched him storm back up to the deck, his back stiff. “Come, take a look at your home,” Caelius whispered, ignoring the way Gaidres had stalked back out again, for now. There was naught he could do about the stubborn man at the moment other than give him the distance that he seemed to need. Gaidres had been kind enough to support Caelius when he needed it and he could do no less for the other man in return.

Faustus gave him a sleepy grimace and squirmed in his wrappings as Caelius carried him up on deck. “I know, you tire of being cooped in that hold.” He hoped the sound of his voice would keep his son from fussing until they were settled. He’d be happy himself to be on dry land again.

By the time he emerged on the deck, with Faustus’s wet nurse and Helene trailing him, the boat had pulled up alongside the pier and the sailors were tethering it in place. Gaidres leaped first onto the pier, then reached out a hand to steady Caelius as he crossed with Faustus.

“It is good to have you back, Dominus.” Demetrius came forward with a welcoming expression.

“It is good to be back.” Caelius clasped Demetrius’s hand. Demetrius had served his family Caelius’s whole life. After he earned his freedom he’d still insisted on running the household despite Caelius’s attempts to get him to take his ease. Demetrius’s hair was more white than gray now, but his keen mind had not dulled with age. Caelius lifted up his son for Demetrius to see. “This is Faustus, my heir.”

Demetrius chuckled as Faustus squawked in protest. “Sounds like he has a fine pair of lungs, Dominus.” Then his expression became grave. “My apologies about Domina. You’ll see that everything has been prepared. The procession will be tomorrow and she can be laid to rest.”

“Thank you, Demetrius.” They turned toward the stairway cut into the cliff to bring them up to the villa. He touched Gaidres’s arm as the gladiator came up beside him, hand on the hilt of his sword. “This is Gaidres. He is my personal guard.”

“Welcome, Gaidres.” Demetrius clasped Gaidres’s arm in a friendly greeting before turning to Caelius. “There is a bath and food prepared for your arrival, Dominus. Come.”

Gaidres blinked, seeming surprised by the easy acceptance of Demetrius and the others of Caelius’s household. Caelius hid his amusement as they cast Gaidres curious but friendly looks as the group made their way up toward the villa. The gladiator would find things to be quite different in Caere.

Caelius sighed with relief as they crested the top of the stairs. His thighs burned. They seemed to get steeper every time and yet Gaidres didn’t seem winded in the least. His armor and sword had to weigh many times what the babe did.

“Demetrius, are you feeling well?” The older man was red in the face and winded.

“I am fine, Dominus.” A pause as he huffed several deep breaths. “Do not…fret yourself.”

Caelius vowed to himself that he would move about more before he began puffing with each step like Demetrius. He should have waited for them at the top, but Caelius knew the man would be offended if it were suggested.

He waited to give Demetrius a few moments to recover. The view up here was as stunning as it had ever been. This was where Caelius had often gone when he needed to think and he suspected that he’d be spending many more hours walking along the cliffs while he was here.

They entered the villa and then he kissed Faustus before handing him off to Helene to be fussed over, bathed and fed. He greeted the other members of his household as they came forward with warm, damp cloths to cleanse the dust from faces and hands. Home felt like paradise, and his melancholy faded. Even Gaidres seemed to be relaxing somewhat under the warmth of their welcome.