The Glorious Becoming (39 page)

Scott knew by her tone that Natalie was reluctant. “On her own?” She sounded more than a little skeptical.

Raising his hand in defense, Scott answered, “It’s completely your decision—and feel free to deny it or even test the waters if you want—but we found in the Fourteenth that it benefited her to have a customized training program.”

“Customized by you, or by her?”

“By her. She’s dedicated and a workaholic. The honest truth is that we didn’t train broadly enough to help her. You have to see a scout train to understand how much their work encompasses.”

She was taking in the request, gauging his words. Finally, she nodded. “If you think she’s better training solo, I trust you. I don’t want her isolating herself from her teammates, though.”

Whew.
“That’s not something you’ll have to worry about.”

“So that’s one of four. Tell me about your other guys.”

Deciding to get the hard sells over with first, Scott went straight on to Jayden. He explained the incident that cost the sniper his eye, and the subsequent recovery he’d made. He assured her in every way possible that Jayden wasn’t a liability. Natalie seemed to accept it. Auric and Boris were much easier to explain, with the obvious exclusion of Auric’s Nightman status. By the time Scott was done, their food had arrived. More importantly, Natalie seemed satisfied.

“So now it’s your turn,” she said, setting up her utensils. “Ask me something.”

Scott’s eyebrow lifted. “Ask you something?”

“Yes. There must be something you want to know.”

Actually, there was. “Lieutenant Marshall. What’s his story?”

She smirked a bit. “Logan—that’s how I’ve always known him. We came into
Atlanta
at the same time. You won’t find a better soldier. I’m sure you’d say the same about your guys. He’s a good guy, just...” her words trailed off for a moment. “He’s coarse. I don’t mean in how he speaks, I mean in how he...is.”

Scott listened intently.

“He is, bar none, the most gifted soldier I’ve ever had the privilege of serving with. The only reason I outrank him is because he’s not a leader. It took a lot of convincing to make him accept the promotion to lieutenant. I’m working on him.” She hesitated for a moment. “Logan doesn’t always think. He acts. Obviously, he’s never done anything stupid, but occasionally, maybe a little reckless. He’s
extremely
aggressive on the battlefield.”

Scott felt like he was hearing a description of himself. That didn’t make him feel good.

“He doesn’t talk much, but when he says something, he means it. You’re also really going to have to earn his trust. He’s not a naturally trusting person.” She laughed softly. “You must think he sounds terrible, but he’s not. He’s the best comrade you could ever ask for. I just wouldn’t want him for an enemy.”

Terrific.

“I believe in full disclosure, so I want to confess something to you,” she said forwardly. “Logan and I used to date. It was very brief, back when we were alphas, and I mean it when I say when it ended, it ended. Just the same, he’s very protective.” She smirked. “He did
not
like the idea of us going out tonight.” She hesitated before continuing. “There was actually another guy in
Atlanta
that I dated very briefly—I’m not exactly painting a great picture of myself, I know—but this guy was sort of my rebound after Logan. His name was Custer. Yeah, I know, a girl from Custer County dating a guy named Custer. What can I say, right? Anyway. He was Reginald Custer III, if you want to get technical about it...and yes, he’d insist that you do.”

Custer? Why did that ring a bell? When it dawned on him, he almost displayed a physical reaction. Custer was one of Captain Rex Gabriel’s men in Pelican Squad. In fact, Scott could distinctly remember someone referring to him as
Reg
. No...it couldn’t be the same person. Could it?

Natalie went on. “Logan wasn’t exactly thrilled with the new development, and considering Custer was a womanizing jerk, it was only a matter of time until I ended up hurt.” She shook her head. “Logan beat him to a pulp—put him in the infirmary for a full week. I’ve never seen someone go off on someone else like that. Logan thinks with his fists.”

Scott couldn’t help it. “I have to ask you: did Custer get shipped to that new base in
Sydney
?”

She blinked. “Yes!” Her eyes widened. “How did you know that?”

Unbelievable. “I already know you’re not going to believe this. We had a mission back at
Novosibirsk
, it was actually a rescue. Custer was in the unit we rescued, Pelican Squad.”

“Get
out
!”

Laughing, Scott shook his head. “I’m dead serious. The minute you said his name, I knew I knew him.”

Natalie leaned back in shock. “I cannot
believe
you know Reginald Custer.”

“I don’t know him beyond his name, but I definitely remember him.”

“He’s hard to forget. God, he was such a pompous punk.” She laughed. “People use to call him
Custard
instead of Custer to get him riled up. ‘Custard can’t cut the mustard.’ He’d hear that every time he screwed up.” Looking Scott in the eyes, she leered. “Speaking of
mustard
...” She pulled the jar of mustard from her purse. “Let’s see if this measures up to
blanc de noir
.”

Scott leaned back, almost as if trying to avoid some sort of blast. “It’d probably be best if you don’t do that.”

“Au contraire,” she said, “I love mustard.” Opening the jar, she set it down and jabbed a piece of meat with her fork. “Though I must confess, that this is used,
re-gifted
mustard concerns me.” She dunked the meat in the jar; it was drenched.

Eyes widening, Scott said, “That’s a lot.”

“No guts, no glory. This had better be good.” Opening her mouth, she swallowed it whole.

Oh boy...

Her initial reaction was surprise. Her jaw moved purposefully, seeming to scrutinize the flavor with every chew. Her brow furrowed. She suddenly stopped chewing.

Here it comes.

He remembered the first time he’d taken a taste. The mustard had struck his tongue like habanero lightning. Combined with the vinegar-sharp flavor of the sauce, it was a match made in hell. Leaning back a little more, he waited for the explosion. And sure enough, it came.

“This stuff is
great
!”

Error—does not compute. “Uhh, what?”

She enthusiastically stabbed another piece of meat. “How can you not like this?”

Staring dumbfounded, Scott blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Are you challenged?”

“No, I’m not
challenged
,” she said, dunking a second piece. “You seriously don’t like this?”

“You seriously can
stomach
it?”

Biting into the second chunk, she closed her eyes blissfully. “Mmmm...” She looked lost in a dream. Swallowing, she stared at him again. “I’m being serious: you really don’t like this?”

“Captain, I whole-heartedly hate it. It burned a hole in my mouth.”

Waving at her mouth briskly, she grabbed her water. “It’s hot, now, make no mistake.” She drank several gulps. “But this is probably the best mustard I’ve ever had.” She downed a third piece, moaning contentedly. “Back home, I
never
used yellow mustard. Even at the ballpark, it was spicy mustard every time. I’ve gotten used to the burn.” Inspecting the jar, she asked, “Can you get more of this?”

He thought out the request. He probably could. He could write Svetlana and ask her to send him more, leaving out the small detail that it wasn’t for him. “No promises, but I’ll see.” If nothing else, it was another way to keep Natalie buttered up.

“Consider this your first order, commander.”

Laughing, he saluted. “Yes ma’am.”

Warmth. From the moment they’d first climbed into the jeep, he’d felt it with her. She was from his home state. She shared his idealism. She knew people he knew. They could pick back and forth, on the most trivial of things, and it felt so natural. The way she smiled at him, the way her grin stretched so genuinely, so gratefully. There was a wonderful thrill that accompanied it. It felt so freeing. It felt so...magnetic.

No!
He slammed on his mental brakes.
Don’t even turn down that neighborhood!
His heart slammed into reverse, its emotional wheels digging out like a desperate mud buggy. The inertia was almost tangible. He course-corrected the conversation at once. “How would you like me to approach my role as XO, captain?” His natural charisma compensated for the suddenness of the shift.

Natalie’s lips parted slightly. Thinking on it for several seconds, she answered sincerely. “With openness and honesty.”

Scott’s gut wrenched as she continued.

“I’ve seen a lot of rigidity in a lot of units. I’ve seen CO’s and XO’s with zero relationship outside of the workplace. I don’t want that to be us.” She maintained purposeful eye contact. “Behind closed doors, I want us to be friends. If you disagree with me, I want you to tell me. If you think I’m wrong about something, I want to hear that, too. On that same note, if you just want to hang out and pass time, I want to be there for that, too.” She continued apprehensively. “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression, that I’m lenient or lackadaisical. I’m the farthest thing from. But we’re in this together. No one else, not even Logan or Broll, is going to dictate the direction of this unit like you and I will. I really hope you’re looking forward to that as much as I am.”

She had put herself on the table—opened herself up for him to accept or reject. He needed to put her at ease, let her know that they were on the same page. That deception was easy; he’d have loved to serve with this woman.

“Natalie,” he said, “we’re going to do amazing things.”

Her smile widened; she looked thrilled. “I am
so
excited about this—I can’t even express it. I was fortunate to move up the rank ladder fairly quickly in
Atlanta
; I had a CO who believed in me. I spent a lot of time at epsilon, just learning.” Her posture relaxed. “I was a commander for about six months before this opportunity opened up.
Cairo
wasn’t my first choice, but who gets their first choice, right? But now that I’m here, now that I’ve had a chance to learn the lay of the land...now that I’ve got a chance to meet my XO,” she said, smiling a tad longingly, “we’re going to make such a difference here, Scott.”

The thought struck him suddenly—out of nowhere.
Tell her.
What if he did just that? What if he told her everything? Who he was, where he was from, why he and his team were in
Cairo
. What if he laid everything on the table, as she had with him?

What if the veil of secrecy fell?

The rest of their dinner conversation remained light. But beneath the surface of Scott’s exterior, levity was nowhere to be found. Amid conversations about everything from EDEN protocol to bobbing for apples at the Nebraska State Fair, he thought of telling Natalie the truth. He imagined himself telling her about H`laar and about the mission assigned to him by General Thoor. What he
couldn’t
imagine was how she’d react. It was risk versus reward to the highest degree. The reward was an ally who understood. The risk was everything else.

And so the night passed. They finished their meals. She hijacked the check. They left for the jeep. Scott’s inexplicable inclination to show his hand never came to fruition, his inner turmoil disguised behind a mask of jovial banter. His captain was now his friend—just like he’d envisioned when he’d first opened his door to greet her. He’d earned her trust.

Ulterior motive accomplished.

During the final ten minutes of their drive back to
Cairo
, conversation transitioned from constant, to sparse, to nonexistent. It was a gradual change, and not an uncomfortable one. Perhaps Natalie was lost in her own thoughts. Scott was certainly lost in his.

He hated this mission. He hated everything about it. But more than anything, he hated lying to a woman who didn’t deserve it—looking her in the eyes and saying one thing while believing something else. Taking part in the destruction of an honest person’s career. That went against everything he believed. But he didn’t have a choice.

Perhaps that was the allure of telling her the truth: the prospect of not needing to maintain a lie. What if she was sympathetic? What if she understood? He wouldn’t have to work against her, he could enlist her. She could help him get what he needed, and in return, he could help her get the Caracals off to the kind of start she envisioned for them. Everything could work.

But what if she
didn’t
understand? And that was the danger. It would take her all of five seconds to comm
Cairo
and turn him in, at which point he’d be apprehended, Svetlana would be killed, and whatever secrets Benjamin Archer was hiding would stay hidden, for better or worse. All of five seconds. He’d have to kill her in four.

How could he possibly risk that?

Rolling back into the garage, Natalie pulled into a parking space and turned off the jeep. But when her fingers never slid from the ignition—when they remained apprehensively in place beside the wheel—Scott knew something heavy was about to come up. Seconds passed, until he finally looked at her. She was staring straight ahead over the steering wheel, posture tensed as silence came between them. She was about to say something. The air suddenly went thick.

“Scott, can I ask you something?” For the first time that night, there was a tremble to her voice.

Scott knew what he was about to be asked. The only thing he didn’t know was how he’d respond.

Angling her head toward him, her query escaped. “How did your fiancée die?” It was delicate in delivery, as he knew it would be. It was almost asked in apology. Scott knew he could choose not to answer and she’d be okay with it.

He’d seen her reaction the first time she’d learned of Nicole’s death in his room. It had taken her aback, affected her. It must have been in the back of her mind all night long.