The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home, Second Edition: Making a New Life Abroad (2 page)

Our plans were both frightening and exhilarating. The suburban life we had lived for decades was about to be turned topsy-turvy. But that was the point. Escaping must be an adventure, or it’s simply more of the same. The true joy of living somewhere entirely new on a long-term sabbatical or retirement is that you become alive to a host of possibilities that would otherwise be lost in the routine of a life you already know, perhaps too well.

If the thought of new discoveries after forty intrigues you, then read on. If you decide on such an adventure, I hope this book helps you, too, to plan, prepare, and gain confidence that such an experience is not only possible, but the experience of a lifetime.

As you hoist your backpack (well, OK, roll-on luggage), just tell the kids who look on enviously that, after all these years, it’s your turn for adventure.

Look around you at the people we call middle-aged today. They’re playing tennis and jogging. They’re eating their oat bran, cutting out smoking, and trying in general to behave themselves so they can look forward to another thirty or more years of life. With better health care and healthier lifestyles, today’s adults at forty, fifty, sixty, or older still have a lot to look forward to. Or do they?

They’ve had a career. Or rather, a career may have had them. Downsizing, buyouts, and burnouts take their toll. Middle-class midlifers and their younger siblings have discovered that the paternalistic “contract” between employer and employee doesn’t exist anymore. Not to mention that burned-out workers of a certain age suddenly realize that work is not the be-all and end-all of existence.

The social fabric in the United States has changed in a way that impacts how people view work and its relationship to our lives. The era of single-minded devotion to one’s job is being eclipsed by a desire for more time: time to spend with family, time to spend on hobbies, time to spend traveling and seeing this big, wonderful world.

It’s natural. After years of ceaselessly striving for “success,” many adults, most of them baby boomers, are burned out. They’ve done it all, workwise. Now that they’re where they wanted to be—or realizing they won’t ever be there—the smart ones are reevaluating their lives and discovering new possibilities.

Lots of life is left to live after the kids are grown and gone. What will you do with those years? More of the same? Will you repeat the same year of experience for another ten or twenty years? Or will you seek out new experiences? The escapee chooses the latter.

A survey released by Robert Half International indicates that the average worker would exchange a shorter workweek for less pay—a 21-percent pay cut in exchange for 21 percent less time on the job. Women are even more eager than men to gain time. Asked whether they would give up rapid career advancement for more family or personal time, 76 percent of female respondents said yes.

A
Money
magazine survey determined that nearly one in five Americans was thinking about moving abroad—and one in four of college-educated American adults. An interest in long-term travel or overseas living is part of the shift now occurring throughout the United States. Led by baby boomers who
don’t want to settle for a lackluster life, people are choosing time for family, home, and hobbies over climbing the corporate ladder.

This attitude is driving the exodus overseas. More Americans have discovered that other countries often offer a more tranquil way of life—or a more exciting one, depending on the destination. Most of all, Americans are beginning to understand that there’s more to life than their usual routine, and they’re heading out in ever-increasing numbers to explore it.

If you’re the typical American, you may be surprised at just how many people have made the move overseas for a year or more. Before we did it, we thought that moving overseas, even temporarily, would be a complicated ritual, akin to moving to Mars. Then we discovered that it was not only possible, but that countless Americans before us had relocated overseas.

In fact, the trend of Americans moving overseas is gaining momentum. As the
New York Times
reported in 2005, “More mobile, active and adventuresome than prior generations, these 78 million Americans [Ed. Note: referring to the Baby Boomer population] are rethinking retirement. Many will be lured overseas by a more affordable cost of living and temperate weather. Some will want to return to their native countries or to places where they once worked or studied.” Retirement publications, newspapers, and countless websites are now regularly covering the subject, with articles on Americans living the good life overseas and the most popular locales for retirement abroad.

The U.S. census does not count Americans living overseas, but according to the volunteer organization AARO (Association of Americans Resident Overseas) the U.S. State Department estimated in 2005 that approximately 6.6 million Americans live abroad in more than 160 countries. The AARO noted that this would make the total of Americans abroad equal to the 17th most populous state.

A precise number is difficult to pin down, but is likely higher than any estimate because even the State Department admits that many Americans who live overseas are never counted in any comprehensive way; there is simply no accurate system for keeping track of all Americans overseas. Many of them—especially retirees—are footloose and fancy free. They may be living
abroad temporarily or part-time, and they may be retired but retain close ties to the States. Their Social Security checks are most likely deposited into a stateside bank account, and they may retain a mailing address in the United States, giving the impression they live in the United States full-time when in fact they’re lounging around their pool in Panama. And some expats switch regularly between the United States and other countries. Unless they contact the embassy or consulate, they’re not counted in any statistics.

Americans who choose to live overseas for longer than the two-week vacation face some strange comments—even from otherwise intelligent people. The first is, perhaps, the silliest: “Don’t you lose your citizenship?” Of course, the answer is no. I guess the people who ask this never considered that U.S. diplomats live overseas as part of the job description, as do business and military personnel, students, and countless other loyal Americans who simply want to expand their worldview. Once you have U.S. citizenship, you never lose it unless you renounce it deliberately or commit some heinous treason. Living on Spain’s Costa Brava for a year—or even the rest of your life—won’t do it.

The second question people overseas hear is “Don’t you love your country?” All I can imagine is that some people confuse the word
expatriate
, which means to live outside of your native country, with
ex-patriot
, which, of course, means a former patriot. A long-term adventure or life overseas has nothing to do with patriotism or love of country, but everything to do with expanding your personal borders to enjoy a more vital life.

The third silly question often heard is “Are you willing to give up your ties to the United States?” Of course not. In fact, many people who live overseas long-term become members of special organizations, such as American Citizens Abroad, which provide a U.S. connection and support.

The fourth question is related to the above: “You can’t vote, can you?” The answer is yes, you can vote. Americans overseas vote just the way anyone traveling can vote: by absentee ballot. Embassies supply these. Americans abroad keep up with the political situation in the States as people in Cincinnati or Seattle do. They read national and local newspapers and magazines from the States—either through print subscriptions or online—and watch television (CNN and NBC are on satellite overseas). They care about their country and its future. After all, they have history there, families there, and investments there, and most of them will be back there themselves when the adventure has run its course.

People often dream of adventure overseas, and many have already discovered that it’s not only possible, but a vital new experience they wouldn’t have missed for, well, for all the world. Throughout this book, you’ll discover what they did right (and what they did wrong) to help you prepare and ensure that your adventure is a success.

Amazingly, many modern-day runaways would at first tell you they’re “impetuous” or that they did it “on a whim.” That may seem the case to them because an adventure tends to feel that way. In speaking to these people at length, however, it’s clear that they actually made calculated decisions. Before Claire and Dick bought their property in
Portugal, they traveled extensively in that country and Spain to compare areas. While working, they used the home for periodic vacations; the remainder of the year they rented it out. After five years, they quit their jobs and moved permanently. Meanwhile, they’d had five years to consider all aspects of the move. Though their families thought they were crazy, they spent more time planning the move than most people do in planning their families.

It does take solid preparation and a modicum of self-confidence to successfully escape. But this is one adventure that doesn’t require Indiana Jones–style bravery. A step out of the routine can be a bit intimidating, but anything can be handled with some preparation. That’s why you’re reading this book. You can have a long-term adventure overseas, just as hundreds of thousands of people have done before you. The way is prepared, and what at first seems intimidating becomes matter-of-fact once you know the secrets.

Will you revitalize your midlife by trying on a new lifestyle? Or are you content with maintaining the status quo? Only you can decide. I do know that when a friend asked if I was frightened of making such a major change, I quickly responded, “I’m more afraid of later regretting that I
didn’t
do it.”

Some people are content to stay put. They are born, raised, schooled, married, and buried in the same town. Others have a wanderlust, and they travel from the time they can crawl. Then there are the midlifers who blend the two. They have stayed put for most of their lives, building careers and raising families, but at midlife they discover an urge to see the world, to experience a broader dimension than what can be seen every day, around the corner, or on a two-week vacation.