The Guardian (21 page)

For a moment Maryanna thought Ella Mae might ask why Turkey Dan had ventured this far south. But for once on this day, Ella Mae remained mum.

“It’s always good to see ya, Ella Mae.” Maryanna hesitated,
then added, “You won’t say anything ‘bout seeing Turkey Dan here, jah?”

This brought a chortle, and Ella Mae nodded. “Who’s that, ya say?”

Maryanna smiled. “Denki.” She meant it. No one needed to know why Dan Zook had stopped by today. No one at all.

M
aryanna cleared off the ice cream bowls with her daughters as she considered Turkey Dan’s request to watch his three youngest sons next Saturday afternoon. Dan and his two older boys planned to pick up a new driving horse down near Kinzers.

“A mighty fine gray mare,”
Dan had said, standing a bit too close for her comfort.

She wondered why Dan had asked her and not one of his relatives. It wasn’t that she minded, but it just seemed so out of the blue. Or was she being naive? After today’s earlier encounter with Joshua Peachey, Maryanna guessed she shouldn’t be too hard on herself for being a bit jittery about
two
men showing her such interest.

Still, it was altogether unsettling. Especially Joshua, since he had always been simply Benuel’s friend and a good neighbor—he and Suzanne were so kind and helpful. Maryanna had never thought of him in any other light. Till now.

The coffee shop was nearly vacant by the time Jodi hurried in after showering and changing clothes. She spotted Trent over in a comfy corner, near the window. The afternoon sun filtered through the wood blinds, and his handsome face lit up when he saw her. “Sit beside me,” he said, moving over.

“Good, you want to snuggle,” she said, happily scooting in and letting him kiss her twice on the lips. “Mm, I’m going to miss this.”

“The year will go fast … I hope.” He winked at her.

They leaned forward together to study the menu board above the counter. Jodi decided on an iced chai tea and Trent chose a mocha. She insisted on going up to place their order and then returned with their drinks to her grinning fiance.

“By the way, you’re cute when you’re mad.” His eyes were full of mischief.

She sighed. “I hope you’re not referring to last night.”

“Not specifically, no.”

“Well, I think you are.”

So much for the sweet tone of their date.

He stretched back in the booth. “Look, Jodi, I know you’re in a bad place right now, and I would be, too, if I lost my brother or sister. But you’ve got to know the feelings you have toward prayer and God won’t last.”

“How can you be sure?” She wished he’d validate her grief. “You can’t possibly know. You’ve never experienced what I’m going through.”

“Mourning comes in waves, hon.” He kissed her again, but this time she didn’t return it.

“You sound like a walking textbook. Losing Karen keeps me awake at night—gives me nightmares. I watched my sister die. I held her in my arms while she struggled to take her last breaths. I felt so … well, helpless.”

“Jodi, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to trivialize your sadness.”

“As for having children, you don’t get it, do you? I really just want us.
You and me
.”

He agreed with a hearty nod. “I want that, too. More than you know.”

“Right, but
us
plus kids.” She sighed, then covered her face and leaned her elbows on the table. “I’m supposed to start planning our wedding, Trent. But how, if we’re at this kind of standstill?”

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” His voice sounded strained.

She moved her hands away from her face, cringing at what he’d said. “Do you think I’m sticking with our original plan to spite you, Trent?”

He shook his head, eyes searching hers. “No. I just don’t get why you’re not willing to pray about it. That’s all.”

“I can’t explain that because I don’t understand it myself.” She breathed in slowly and made herself stay there next to him when she really wanted to move to the other side of the table.

“I’ll wait for you, Jodi.” His voice was softer now. “You know that.”

“Wait for me to accept the family you want?” Her anger was rising. “And what if you wait in vain? What then?”

Trent shrugged. “We’ll figure it out.” He reached for her. “Come here.”

Reluctantly, she let him hold her, glad for the privacy of the corner.

“I don’t love you any less—do you believe me?”

She nodded.

“Let’s keep talking, though,” he said. “It matters most that we love well.”

“I agree.” She sat up straighter again, half tempted to add
minus kids.
But she held her tongue.

“God brought us together for a reason, Jodi. You’re the only girl for me.”

She nodded, holding back tears. She felt the same way about him. But Trent couldn’t just toss out spiritual stuff and compel her to see the light. The fact was, she wasn’t so sure anymore they should go through with a wedding next summer. Not with their hearts in such different places.

W
ith help from her mother and Leda, Maryanna hung out the laundry early washday morning in a precise and orderly fashion from smallest item to largest. She considered Joshua Peachey and Turkey Dan, still somewhat perplexed at yesterday’s unexpected attention.

“Mamma, oops! You put Sarah’s dresses next to Tobias’s britches,” Leda said, giggling.

“I believe your Mamma has other things on her mind,” Maryanna’s mother said, smiling as she tried to put two wooden clothespins between her lips.

But Maryanna refused to own up.

“I wonder if the school board meeting’s done,” Leda said.

Maryanna turned toward her daughter. “You know ‘bout this?”

Leda nodded. “But it’s prob’ly over by now,” she said. “I just hope we get to start school on time, like always.”

“You’re a right
gut
scholar—no wonder you feel that way.” Mamm bent down to reach for more wet clothes from the basket. “You’d be a right
gut
teacher one day.”

“I love school.” Leda smiled prettily. Then she said, “Did ya know Sarah slept with her new doll last night? It wonders me.”

“No doubt she’ll remember Jodi Winfield for a long time,” Maryanna said. “I ‘spect it’s that way when someone practically saves your life.”

Mamm sneezed and pulled a hankie out from her sleeve. “We must give the dear Lord the glory, remember?”

Maryanna agreed and noticed tall, blond Ned Peachey walking briskly up the road, coming this way.

Evidently Mamm spotted him, too, because she looked quickly at Maryanna and motioned her head toward the road, a question in her eyes.

When Ned turned to come into the driveway, Maryanna said she’d be right back and headed round the house to meet him.

“Hullo, Ned,” she said when he looked her way. “
Wie geht’s?
”

“Guder Mariye. I’m fine. You?” He removed his hat politely and held it to one side.

“Keepin’ busy—it’s Monday, ya know.”

He glanced about, then asked, “Do you happen to know how to contact the young woman who found Sarah?”

“Not offhand, no.”

“No idea, then?”

“Jodi’s never said where she was house-sitting.”

He stared at his hat for a moment before putting it back on. “Well then, can ya let me know if you happen to see her again? I’d appreciate it, Maryanna.”

“I surely will.”

Not waiting a second longer, Ned turned and headed back from whence he’d come, which was most likely several farms over, at Noah Mast’s place.

What do ya know!
Maryanna dashed back across the driveway to finish the morning chore, deciding it best to keep mum that Ned Peachey had come so unexpectedly, asking for Jodi.
Maryanna had more than an inkling why the school board member was asking.

Why else?

Ready for some fresh air, Jodi wandered outside to the secluded patio, where splashes of color reigned in the clay pots of pink and white geraniums and multicolored petunias. She picked up the large watering can and turned on the outside spigot, still in her shorty pajamas. She’d stayed up late last night, searching online for recently posted teacher openings.

Feeling discouraged at only a few possibilities, most of which were out west, Jodi thoroughly watered each of the eight pots, then set down the watering can and strolled along the path near the willow trees. She welcomed a breeze, though the morning was still very warm and humid for the hour. Would the heat never let up?

Jodi tried to wrap her thoughts around what it might be like to teach at her father’s school in urban New Jersey. Even if she agreed to Dad’s job offer for a single year, she’d prefer to have her own place, although it was reasonable for them to want her near.

Her sights were set on her beloved Vermont, however.
Where Trent wants us to live after we marry.

She sighed.
If we actually go through with it.

Going back indoors, she wandered to the living room, still hazy from lack of sleep. She stared at the spot on the sofa where Sarah had slept so soundly. Jodi pressed her fingers to her temples.

Why can’t I get her out of my head?

Restless and hungry, she went to the kitchen to check her cell phone. No texts from Trent or any of her girlfriends. She
scrolled down through his recent messages and felt sad at the way things had gone over the weekend. At least each knew where the other stood.

She went to sit on the barstool and forlornly eyed Trent’s roses. She lightly touched one of the petals, noting the buds were opening beautifully.

She reached for her iPhone on the counter, put in the earbuds, and selected her favorite playlist—a little jazz to start the day. As for food, she liked the idea of something light. Fruit and yogurt sounded good … and maybe some eggs. Not so light, but how long had it been since she’d made an omelet?

A full breakfast made her think of Maryanna and her delightful foursome. How did she manage farm life and care for her children so well? Were Amishwomen simply more adept at domestic life?

Jodi went to the fridge and pulled out a variety of ingredients, including black olives, onions, and green pepper. Once the eggs were stirred and blended, she sprinkled in some goat cheese, along with a small amount of milk, still engulfed in her music.

Then, while the omelet cooked on the stove, she sifted through her saved texts from the last week of Karen’s life, savoring each one.

Don’t hibernate when I’m gone,
Karen had pleaded.
Live your life, sis. I’m counting on you.

Jodi remembered the several good-byes she and Karen had said to each other. The hospice nurses kept calling to say the end was near. And all of them, including Karen’s husband, Devin, had rushed to her side to sing Karen’s favorite hymns and take turns praying, only for Karen to rally on three separate occasions. At the time, Jodi had believed it was Karen’s way of saying she wasn’t ready to relinquish this life. She wanted to stay with them, embracing the love from her wonderful husband and her family.

“I won’t forget her.” Jodi checked the eggs. This was the sister who’d shared nearly all of her passions—cooking, running, jazz … and their heavenly Father.

And Jodi cherished something of Karen’s besides her memories—the special bracelet.
“A bracelet to last a lifetime and beyond,”
Karen had said, her expression so solemn Jodi had thought she was being a little over the top.
“I wanted to give it to my daughter someday, when she was all grown up. But instead I’m giving it to you.”

The memory of Karen’s dying day plagued her now. Sadly, Jodi turned up her music and checked her email on her phone.

But there was nothing.

She glanced at the cat wall calendar and recalled Rosaleen and Barbara’s invitation to return to run at dusk again this evening. Jodi hadn’t promised to show up, and she was somewhat glad now, considering her morose, down-on-her-luck feeling. There was no way she had it in her.

She wanted to be alone … unless she was with Maryanna Esh and her family.

Jodi surprised herself with the thought. “Why?”

Maryanna chopped carrots for a salad two days later, instructing Sarah as she often did when cooking. “Stand back a bit, dear.” She looked at her little daughter on the wooden chair next to her at the counter. “I don’t want you to get cut.”

“I’ll be careful, Mamma.”

“Leda, go an’ ring the dinner bell, won’t ya?” Maryanna said, and her big girl hurried right out to tug on the rope.

“
Wu is
Jodi
?
” asked Sarah, the cloth doll clutched in the crook of her arm.

“I don’t know, Boppli.” Seeing how glum Sarah looked just now, Maryanna felt sorry for her. After all, her youngest had been on the verge of tears all morning. “But don’t worry, I have a feeling we’ll see Jodi again.”

“
Wann?
”

She shook her head. Jodi hadn’t appeared for three days now, not since Sunday afternoon, so it was anyone’s guess. Still, it broke her heart to see Sarah so forlorn.

A few minutes later, the boys came bounding in, and once they’d washed up and were settled at the table, Maryanna brought the food over, and they bowed heads to give silent thanks.

When they were nearly finished eating, Tobias cocked his head and said in their first language, “Mamma, what would it be like if we had a stepfather … like Joshua, maybe? I really like him.”

“Oh, mercy!” she gasped, not sure where this came from.

“He was Dat’s best friend, after all.”

Leda and Benny stared at their plates, but Sarah looked up all of a sudden with an alert expression.

Maryanna guessed she shouldn’t be too surprised at Tobias, since he enjoyed working alongside Joshua. Surely, though, he hadn’t overheard Joshua’s invitation to Maryanna. Or had he?

“Mamma needs to finish eating,” Benny said, raising his head and looking square into Tobias’s face.

“Jah, ‘cause there’s some delicious berry pie for dessert,” Maryanna put in right quick to defuse the tense moment.

Tobias, however, looked crestfallen, and Maryanna’s heart went out to him.

She studied little Sarah, whose doll lay next to her plate. And thinking of her baby’s keen interest in Jodi Winfield, Maryanna wondered,
Would it be so awful to marry a man for my children?