The Guise of a Gentleman (23 page)

Desolation crept in.

Despite his familiar face, he remained a stranger. A pirate. One who made a profession of stealing and killing.

Jared slung his coat over his shoulder. Leaning against the mainmast of the
Sea Mistress
, he stared up at the vast array of brilliant stars. The pilot skillfully guided the ship through calm waters. A white and silver moon held court with the stars. Two points off the port quarter sailed the
Venture
, silhouetted by the starlight.

He looked back up at the glittering lights, mentally naming the constellations. His brother Cole had been mad for astronomy and knew each mythological story to accompany the constellations. He always seemed to find life’s lessons paralleled in mythology. Jared wondered what advice Cole would offer in his current predicament.

A light breeze ruffled his hair. He filled his lungs with the smells of the ocean. No mist marred the beauty of the sea this night. Not long ago, he’d believed nothing could be more perfect than such a night. Now he would gladly give it up for the love of one woman. A woman who wept in his cabin.

Seeing her reduced to tears tore out his heart. He hadn’t believed he would ever see such a sight. And he’d caused it. Twice.

He could go in and simply tell her the truth, but he doubted she would believe him. She would no doubt think he’d simply made up an elaborate lie as part of some evil scheme.

More importantly, the bulkheads were decidedly thin and he couldn’t risk someone on board the ship overhearing. He’d be immediately killed.

And Elise would be left to the tender mercies of his men. He’d weeded out the worst of the villains from among his own crew over time, but Leandro’s former crew, some of whom were now aboard, were the worst of the lot.

A small part of him wondered if she could still love him now that she knew of his role as a pirate. For all intents and purposes, he truly was a pirate. That he committed all those acts under orders made little difference. He could never bring back all the lives he’d taken. His chest tightened.

He should just take Elise home. The government would never approve of him helping pirates and would order him to return immediately. Once he saw to Von Barondy, he should have gone to London, received his decommission and kept both feet firmly on land. Leaving in his ship, leading a band of villains to rescue Elise, and turning over a ship to them would surely be seen as a rogue act. It would be in his best interest to get back to England quickly.

Elise needed to return to her son. His ship was certainly no place for a lady.

But he wanted to leave the ships to Dubois and Anakoni, who had been faithful friends, despite their station. If he could convince them to give up piracy and accept the pardons he’d been promised for them, they could sell their ships and make a tidy profit; enough, he hoped, to start an honest life.

Perhaps the truth would change Elise’s mind about him. Whether or not he deserved her affections was an entirely different matter. He was just selfish enough not to care.

Below deck, a cacophony of laughter rang out as the crew continued to celebrate their victory and toast their new alliance. Rum flowed freely, the best pirate’s reward.

Jared doubted any of his men would be so bold as to break into his cabin to get to Elise. They’d all signed the articles protecting women, and Jared fiercely enforced penalties for breaking said articles. Besides, he’d proven himself as a good leader, making most of them ridiculously wealthy. Or they would be, if they could refrain from frittering it all away on drink and women the instant they set foot on land.

Yet leaving a beautiful woman alone invited trouble; drunken sailors were capable of almost anything. She’d hate him if he entered the cabin, but that couldn’t be helped. He’d risk her wrath to protect her.

Jared spoke briefly with the pilot before returning to the main cabin. Inside, he paused. O’Brian had cleared away dinner and set the cabin to rights. He heard nothing from behind the shut portal to his sleeping cabin.

At least she wasn’t throwing things. Or audibly crying. That had to be a good sign. Right?

He snuffed out the candles and opened the portal. Inside, all was still. Only moonlight from the porthole illuminated the interior. A vague lump in his bunk indicated Elise’s sleeping form.

He moved forward until the back of his neck prickled. He spun around just in time to catch an object hurtling toward his head. He seized the object with one hand, stopping its forward motion, and seized the arm that wielded it with the other. That fragile hand could only belong to one person on board. He wrested what felt like a candlestick from her and discarded it. It made a dull clank as it bumped against a bulkhead and landed on the deck.

“Trying to kill me, or merely render me senseless?” he drawled as he jerked her hard against him.

Her breath came in gasps. “I knew you were coming.”

“Of course. This is my cabin. I sleep here.”

“If you were a gentleman, you’d sleep in someone else’s cabin.”

“And inconvenience them? How thoughtless.”

“Let go of me.” Her voice rose in pitch.

He tightened his grip and pulled her lush body against his, awakening his ardor. “I rather like you where you are.”

Her breasts heaved as she breathed in harsh gasps. Her body trembled.

Oh, anything but that! He pulled her in closer and rubbed her back. “Shhh. It’s all right.”

Instead of relaxing against him, she tensed further. Her cold hands pushed at him, but he had her effectively pinned. The softness of her body tempted his resolve. He battled it. She was angry and frightened; hardly ideal emotions for seduction. Hoping to soothe her, he wrapped his other arm around her and laid his cheek on top of her head, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her hair. She remained rigid, her hands curled into fists trapped between them.

“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Regardless of the name I use, I’m not such a different man as that.”

“I don’t know you at all.” Tears laced her voice. “I don’t know what you’re capable of doing. Or what you want.”

He smoothed her hair. “I just want to hold you.”

“Please don’t ask this of me.”

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”

“Then I beg you to release me.”

He let his breath out in frustration. How could he argue with a plea like that? He loosened his grip a little. In the semi-darkness, her wide, frightened eyes stared unblinkingly up at him. He opened his arms and let her back away. She flattened herself against the bulkhead. All the warmth left with her.

“We both need rest. And you’re cold. Come.” He took her hand and pulled her toward the bunk.

She dug in her heels. “No.”

“Just sleep.” He pulled the top blanket off the bunk and wrapped it around her. “Your teeth are chattering.” He repositioned the pillows. “Nice deception. I thought you were actually sleeping in my bunk.”

She stood hugging the blanket, poised to flee.

He tugged on the blanket she clutched and drew her to the bunk. “Rest. It will comfortably sleep two.”

“How many times has it done that?” She sounded more like the Elise he knew. It gave him heart.

He grinned. “Jealous?”

She made a scoffing noise. “I’d have to care to be jealous.”

“You wound me.” It was only a partial jest.

“You’re a liar.”

“You’ve no idea. Get in bed, woman.”

“I will not salute you and obey your every order. Captain.” The mockery in her voice made him grin again.

“This is a pirate ship. No one salutes.” He scooped her up in his arms and dumped her unceremoniously on the bunk.

“Blackguard,” she snarled.

“Guilty.”

She struggled inside her blanket cocoon to get into a comfortable position. If he were a true gentleman, he’d sleep on the floor. But at the moment, he took perverse enjoyment in discarding the guise of a gentleman. He pulled off his shirt and climbed in next to her wearing only his breeches. She stared in fear rather than fascination. His pride took a blow.

He rolled her over onto her side facing away from him, and wrapping his arms around her, snuggled against her spoon position.

She lay rigidly. “You have a lot of nerve.”

“See? You do know me.”

She remained quiet for so long he thought a miracle had happened and she’d accepted his presence. “Please.”

The angry, courageous woman had been replaced by the frightened lady again. He liked the angry one better.

He sighed. “It’s cold in here. I’m only trying to warm you. Go to sleep, Elise. I will not attempt to seduce you.”

Her voice shook. “Seduction is not what I most fear.”

He raised up on his elbow and rolled her over on her back. She stiffened further. He peered into her face and lifted her chin with his finger, waiting until she made eye contact. Even in the semidarkness, fear clearly shadowed her eyes.

Softly, he said, “I will not lay a hand on you. I swear it. Not in violence. Not in lust.”

Her brow furrowed, her eyes searching his. He battled the increasing need to love her as a man. He settled for a chaste kiss. She remained stiff. He teased her lips with his, keeping them soft, light. She softened for only a moment and then stiffened again. Heaving an enormous mental sigh, he ended the kiss and traced his finger down her cheek, battling with the man he wanted to be for her, and the man he wanted to be for himself.

Her wide eyes stared back at him as if she expected him to sprout horns. “You said you wouldn’t lay a hand on me.”

“I said nothing about not laying my lips on yours.

“You’re untrustworthy.” She sounded exasperated instead of frightened. That was good. Progress.

“I’m a pirate.”

“Don’t remind me,” she huffed.

“Are you in danger of forgetting?”

“Not even if you hit me over the head with a candlestick.”

He laughed softly. Against his better judgment, he kissed her again. Despite her fear, her lips remained surprisingly pliant. She was becoming very skilled at kissing. He kissed her until he thought he’d incinerate.

A very primal, possessive part of him enjoyed the idea that she’d never been kissed the way he kissed her. Or pleasured the way he planned to pleasure her. Just as soon as he got her to stop hating him.

Wishing he had a handy bucket of cold water to dump over his head, he groaned. She went rigid and stared at him with large eyes.

He rolled her over and pulled her against his chest. “You’re safe with me, Elise,” he whispered against her ear, making a silent vow to be a man of his word.

“You’ll have to prove that to me.” She said nothing more, but her body finally relaxed against him.

He stroked her hair, marveling at its silken texture, and raised a fistful to his lips. Inhaling its lavender scent, he kissed it, kissed her temple, and then simply held her.

As he cradled her blanket-wrapped body, the fire cooled. In its stead, peace and well-being stole over him. He vowed to protect her at all costs, even with his very life, if necessary. It would be no great sacrifice; she was so much more worthy of living than he.

He agonized over his need to assure Elise, and his need to protect himself from discovery. He couldn’t stand the thought that she believed him capable of cold-blooded murder. She no doubt envisioned him tying up a nobleman, extracting all his wealth, and murdering the man as he lay bound and helpless. He’d never done anything so ruthless and he wanted her to know it.

He put his lips next to her ear and whispered, “Elise.”

Though she made no reply, he knew by her breathing that she was awake.

He continued in a whisper, “I didn’t murder Jared Amesbury. I am Jared Amesbury.”

Her breath stilled.

Praying that the walls didn’t have ears, he whispered, “I swear I’ll tell you everything as soon as it’s safe, but for now, please believe me
; I’ve never murdered an unarmed man. I am Jared Amesbury. I use the name John Black, or Black Jack, to protect my family. I can’t tell you more.”

She made no reply for a very long time. Up on deck, the watch bell clanged.

Finally, she drew in a breath and whispered. “How do I know that’s not just another lie?”

“You’ll have to trust me.”

She made a huff of annoyance. Defeated, but glad to have at least tried, he lay perfectly still. And wished he could take them both far away.

****

On the quarterdeck of the
Mistress
, Jared squinted up at the sun, idly watched a gull soar overhead before turning his attention back to Dubois.

“The repairs on the
Mistress
have been completed.” Dubois glanced toward the ship sailing just off their port bow. “But the
Venture
takes on water as quickly as they pump it out. She needs repairs we cannot complete at sea.”

Jared nodded soberly. “Providing the wind and the weather hold, we’ll be in port in two days. We’ll careen the
Venture
and leave her for repairs while we go back to England aboard the
Mistress
. I intend to return Mrs. Berkley home as soon as possible.”