The Harvest (8 page)

Tess let the words settle in her heart.
Do not be anxious about anything.
How often lately had she allowed her life to be swayed by fear and guilt?

Anxious? She’d been more than anxious about tomorrow. She’d allowed the past to burrow into her heart like worms into wood, making even the good part of her life unstable and weak.

But the pastor’s words flooded her with saving grace. Make your requests known, he’d said. Pray with thanksgiving and you’ll find peace.

Peace. Her gaze drifted to Ryan’s strong profile, his blond hair still ruffled from the outside breeze.
Her heart soared. As if he read her mind, he turned and sent her a loving smile, so tender and sweet she wondered how she could doubt that he was the Lord’s gift to her. The Lord’s unexpected blessing.
All good gifts come from the Lord.
The words sailed into her mind, filling her with joy.

Ryan felt Tess’s slender hand squeeze his thicker fingers, and he squeezed back. As the service progressed, her face had filled with a new peace. A peace that filled him with hope. He knew something held her back from giving her love freely. He’d wondered if it were Al’s infidelity or something more. Something deeper that shrouded Tess’s future with fear.

Bowing his head, Ryan lifted his concern to heaven. He opened his eyes again, flooded by the richness of his harvest. His life. Decorating the chancel were bundles of corn stalks and piles of pumpkins. Jars of jam and jelly, fruits and vegetables covered a burlap-cloaked table, reminding people that all gifts come from the Lord. Ryan thanked God for his upbringing, a mother and father who’d taught him early to praise the Lord for every blessing.

Blessings. His focus drifted to Tess, her cheeks glowing in the dim lighting. A sense of confidence washed over him. Tess loved him. He loved Tess. Time would heal all wounds.

T
ess stood outside Ryan’s bedroom door. Following the service, she’d thought all evening about him—and about what God wanted her to do. She felt assured that things had happened according to the Lord’s will: their meeting, running into him at the condo for sale, finding him here in Holly. Ryan could be so easy to love.

She was learning to trust again. She believed Ryan now and understood his action. Yet on occasion, old fears poked her confidence, but she shoved them away, remembering the pastor’s words, “Do not be anxious.” God was on her side.

Thinking of Ryan brought her a smile. Tess cared about him more than she had anyone in a long time. Loved him, really, but it seemed an impossibility. They’d known each other such a little time…and she had things she hadn’t had the courage to tell him. A deeper guilt. A greater fear. Before love could find
a healthy hold on her heart, she had to be open. Could she do it tonight?

Tess dragged in a shivering breath and tapped on the bedroom door. Shuffling sounds came from inside, then the door opened. Dressed in sweatpants and T-shirt, Ryan peered at her. “Tess.” His surprised expression brightened, and he stepped back. “Come in.”

As she stepped inside, she faltered when her focus fell on the turned-down blanket and his clothes folded neatly across the chair.

He shut the door and grabbed his garments from the chair back, then motioned to her. “Sit.” He dropped his things on the end of the bed.

Tess slid into the seat, wondering why she’d come.

Ryan eased onto the edge of the bed. “If I’d known I was having company, I’d have stayed dressed. Maybe even planned some refreshments. Baked a cake.”

His silliness made her smile. “You’re fine the way you are. I just wanted to say a couple of things.”

Anxiety darkened his face, and he scowled. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I’ve been thinking about us.”

“Me, too,” he said. He slid back farther on the mattress. “Would you come here?” He patted the spot beside him. “I’ll do time-out if I misbehave.”

Remembering their joke, she laughed while his smile sent her heart on a gallop.

“Scout’s honor,” he said, crisscrossing his heart.

“You probably were never a scout.” She plopped down beside him.”

“I wasn’t.”

An unexpected laugh shot from her chest as she faced him. “So now what?”

Tess knew what. The time was perfect, and though nudged by her purpose to tell him her secret fear, she let the opportunity pass.

So now what?
Ryan’s heart leaped at her question and the answer that rang in his mind. Love me. He lifted his hand and traced the line of her face with his finger. “Tess, we’ve known each other such a short time, but if I were a betting man, I’d say we’re a match made in heaven.”

Her thoughtful gaze bathed him in warmth, and she pressed her palm against his cheek. “You knocked me head over heels. I think you know that.”

“I hoped. I feel the same.”

“But I need to think about this,” she said, searching his eyes. “I need time.”

Ryan captured her hand and kissed her palm. “I’ll be an old man soon.”

“I know, but please be patient with me.”

He nodded. “You’re worth the wait.”

Tess paused, her face shadowed with sadness. “I’m sorry. I wish I could be more decisive. More sure of myself.”

He shook his head. “I’m a patient man.”

“I’m glad,” she said, rising.

He captured her hand.

“I came in to ask you about the cabin. Did the couple like it?”

Looking at the longing in her eyes, Ryan wanted to tell her they hated it. But he’d promised himself to be honest. “They loved it. Willing to pay the price. I told them we’d talk after the holiday.”

She lowered her eyes. “Good. I’m glad.”

“Let’s not talk about that now. You need to give that some more thought.” With his thumb and finger, he tilted her chin upward. “Let’s talk more about us.”

“Us?”

He rose beside her. “No. Let’s not talk.” He slid his arm around her shoulder and drew her to his chest. Her eyes spoke words that tumbled through his body like somersaults. No matter what she said, she loved him. He lowered his lips to hers, praising God for his persistence.

“Snow,” Tess called from her bedroom door. “It snowed overnight.”

A “shush” whispered down the hallway, and Dan put a finger to his lips. “Helen’s still sleeping.”

“Get her up,” Tess called in a stage whisper that would fill an auditorium. “Let’s make a snowman.”

Another door opened and two sets of sleepy eyes peeked at her. “Snowman,” their voices sang out together.

“Dress warm,” Tess said to the girls.

She chuckled to herself, feeling alive and excited.

Dan reached her side and, playfully, covered her
mouth with his hand as he edged her toward the staircase.

“It’s too late,” she mumbled beneath his fingers. “I woke the girls, but I have to wake Ryan.”

“He’s up, sis, and already had breakfast. It’s almost eleven. You ladies slept in today.”

“Eleven? Ryan’s up already?” She eyed him from her muzzled position. “Unloose me, you scalawag. It’s time everyone’s up.”

He laughed and dropped his hand as they reached the stairs.

Dressed in sweatpants and a shirt, Tess bounded down the steps. Anticipating the snow, she’d pulled on woolen socks found in the bottom drawer of her old dresser.

She sailed into the kitchen where everyone had gathered. Her mother stood at the kitchen counter working on a cranberry walnut salad for their dinner. The appetizing scents of turkey and stuffing already drifted in the air.

Joining the others around the table, Tess nibbled on toast washed down by steaming coffee. She felt ashamed she’d slept so late. Her mother had their Thanksgiving dinner nearly ready for an early meal.

Dan rose and set his cup in the sink. “I supposed I’d better get out there and move some of that snow.”

“I’ll help,” Ryan said, following his lead.

“While you guys shovel, we kids can make a snowman…or I could be a good daughter and help Mom with the dinner preparations.” Playfully, Tess
squinted her eyes, waiting for her mother to negate her cooking suggestion.

“Nothing much to do now, Tess. You go out and play.”

Everyone in the room broke into laughter, but Tess only grinned, enjoying being one of the kids and anxious to make a snowman.

Ryan rose, stretching his arms toward her, and pulled her up by her hands. Without thinking, she slid into his arms, then guardedly backed away, hoping no one noticed.

Dan rose, too, and in a clatter, the girls bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of toast and following them out the back hall when they heard the plans.

Tess hurried behind them, and they crowded the small area, sliding on their boots and warm coats.

Outside, Ryan ran off to grab a shovel while Dan rolled out the snowblower. Tess twirled in a slow circle while the crystal flakes blanketed shrubs and trees with glinting pristine mounds.

Amazed at the depth of the overnight snowfall, Tess formed a compact sphere with the two girls, giggling beside her. They rolled the ball along the ground. Behind her, the blower sputtered and spit until a steady roar moved up and down the walkway.

They worked together, adding a second smaller sphere, then a third, and while she found sticks for arms, the girls ran around to locate things to make the face.

When the snowman was finished, she turned to
show Ryan, but before she could open her mouth, a large snowball smacked her in the shoulder, and the battle had begun.

Mandy and April joined her, laughing and chasing each other across the yard. When Ryan cornered Tess against a tree, they tumbled into the snow, breathless and wet.

“Not fair,” she said.

“All’s fair in love and war,” he said, his breath sending white vapor into the air.

She grabbed a handful of snow and rubbed it into his face.

“Okay, you get what you deserve,” Ryan said, slipping the powdery ice down her neck as he pressed his lips to hers.

Wiggling free, Tess let out a scream while Ryan jumped up and ran away chasing the girls. Watching him play with her nieces sent Tess’s heart on a downhill spiral. She loved Ryan. He deserved so much. What if a child wasn’t in the picture for her?

Turning, Tess caught her mother’s wave in the window. In moments, everyone had put away the shovel and blower, pulled off their wet boots and coats, and followed their noses to the dining room. Though Tess felt content, seeing the Lord’s bountiful gifts, confusion weighed on her heart.

“Must you leave?” Tess asked.

Ryan heard the sadness in her voice as he sat beside her in the service station parking lot. “I’d better
get back to Rochester. I should go into the office today.”

“You have to?”

“I really should. I was out Wednesday, remember.”

She nodded. “Will you call the couple? The ones who looked at the cabin.”

“No, I want you to think about your decision.”

She averted his eyes. “I have, Ryan.”

He captured her chin and turned her face toward his, wondering if she had listened at all to what he’d said. In the past two days he told her everything but “I love you.” And he believed he did. No one, no other woman who’d come into his life, made him feel like Tess did.

But they needed time. She’d said it, and it was true. Right now, they could make no commitments, no promises, until they were positive that what they felt was real. He’d made the mistake once. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

“Hang on and let me make sure the car’s ready.” He slid out of her sedan and headed inside. With a glance over his shoulder, he fixed on Tess’s questioning eyes.

Inside the service station while Ryan waited for the mechanic, he glanced out the window. Tess sat with her head resting on the seat back. She was beautiful and lovable. He understood her concern. If he listened to his emotions, he’d have no question about where they were headed. But they had to use good
sense. Their relationship was too fresh and new…and marriage was for a lifetime.

Turning, Ryan caught the mechanic’s eye and had his question answered. His car was ready. He paid the bill and secured his car keys, then headed back to Tess.

He dangled his key chain. “It’s ready.”

With a nod, she shifted in the seat and rolled down the window. “I noticed.”

“So when will I see you, Tess?”

She shrugged. “I guess that’s up to you.”

“No,” he said, resting his hands on the window frame and leaning into the car. “It’s up to us. You’re coming home on Sunday?”

She nodded. “Probably in the afternoon.”

“Then I’ll call you.”

She nodded, her eyes sadder than he’d ever seen. “It’s been wonderful.”

“It has.” He chucked her under the chin. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Sunday. Drive safely. Okay? No accidents.”

“I’ll be fine. Tess.” Her words pierced his thoughts. He kissed her lightly on the lips, then stepped back, allowing her to roll up the window. She lifted her hand in parting and pulled away.

Watching her leave, Ryan shook his head. If he’d lost his wife to another man in a fatal accident, he’d feel the same. Frightened, suspicious and unworthy. Tess needed time, and the best way he could prove his sincerity was by giving her lots of tender, loving care. He prayed he could help her see the truth.

Christmas music drifted from the speakers, and Tess shuffled through her CDs. Celebrating Thanksgiving gave her the go-ahead to pull out her holiday music. She needed the music; she needed courage to talk with Ryan, and she expected him any minute.

Hearing a noise, she went to the window, but the car sped past, and Tess reined her apprehension with a sigh. She crossed the room and sank into a chair. Her novel lay beside her with a bookmark slid between the pages. She picked up the book, then returned it to the table. As she did, she noticed the heart-shaped stone Ryan had given her. Why she’d kept it close by, she didn’t know. She didn’t believe in good-luck charms or talismans. Instead it had become a memento of a place she loved…a special time with the man she’d grown to care about more than she’d thought possible.

Though unhealthy apprehension still nipped at her, causing her anxious, frustrating moments, she understood the source of her problems, and with Ryan’s loving ways, she had purged many of her doubts…except one. Tonight she would lay her last fear on the table.

Automobile lights reflecting in the window caught her attention. She rose, this time confident, and headed to the door. When the bell rang, she pulled it open and greeted Ryan with a tender kiss.

“I’m getting to love this,” he said, slipping off his jacket.

“Love what?” she asked with a knowing look.

“Your beautiful smile and warm lips meeting me at the door.”

He slipped his arm around her shoulders, and she guided him to the living room.

“I talked with the buyers,” he said, giving her a squeeze.

“And?”

“The final meeting to finalize the sale is set for after Christmas. Okay?”

“That’s fine,” she said, feeling icy tendrils snake through her veins.

“I hope you’re making the right decision, Tess.” He drew her around and gazed into her eyes. “If you don’t want to sign, we can—”

She shook her head, feeling tension rise up her neck.

He nestled her closer in his arms and lowered his lips to hers.

She eased away, her mind filled with purpose. “No more kisses until we talk.”

A frown flashed across his face before it settled to a grin. “I can wait…if you promise.” He sank onto the sofa and folded his hands.

“If you’re still interested after we talk…I promise.” He sat nearby on the edge of an easy chair, the word easy a paradox to her emotion.

The scowl he’d controlled earlier edged back on his face. “I’m ready,” he said, though his voice had lost some of its confidence.

“Ready as you’ll ever be,” she said, trying to round the edges of her discomfort.

He gave her a faint smile.

Tess leaned forward, her mind working to sort out where to begin. “It seems we’ve talked about so much of this before, Ryan, but it’s much more complicated to me than I’ve let you know.”