The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (8 page)

Her nerves on edge, she considered taking the elevator back down to the main floor and heading for her car. If she hurried, she could be back at school before lunch was over. Her kids would be tickled. Yet, she had come this far. And what was it that she was constantly telling her kids’.
Nothing fails but a try.
Hell, what did she have to lose? Stepping out of the elevator and making her way down the dimly-lit hall, Sylvia checked the room numbers until she came to Room 203, where a crowd of students were just getting out. Sylvia stood across the hall waiting for the crowd to thin. Her heart raced and she could feel the beads of sweat forming on her nose. Two or three students still crowded around the young professor’s desk in the front of the class when Sylvia slipped in and found a seat in the rear. He had yet to notice her and Sylvia aware of the perspiration opened her pocketbook and drew a
Kleenex
to wipe her nose.

A few minutes later, the classroom empty, Professor Townsend collected the remainder of his belongings and neatly assembled them in his attaché case. Still unaware of the shapely young woman in the back of the classroom, Professor Townsend closed his briefcase.

“Excuse me, Professor Townsend, I have a question,” Sylvia said in an attempt to get his attention.

The neatly attired young professor’s head snapped to the back of the room so quickly, Sylvia was sure he had whiplash.

“Oh, my God! Sylvia! What—what in heavens name are you doing here in Atlanta? Oh, my God!”
He dropped his briefcase and barreled headlong into several desks in his haste to get to Sylvia who was now quite at ease and glad she’d made the decision to come.

Peter was ecstatic to say the least, hugging and squeezing Sylvia and forcing her to laugh out loud before regaining her composure. And to think, only a few minutes ago she’d seriously considered heading back to the car. “My goodness. You don’t know how good it is to see you, Sill. You don’t know how often you cross my mind,” he said at length.

“I can tell from
all
the letters and phone calls I received,” she replied rather sarcastically.

“Don’t go there, Sill. Don’t you dare go there. I tried calling you everyday before I left. Sometimes I’d call two or three times a day and you refused to speak to me or return any of my calls. What was I supposed to do?” he inquired, earnestly.

“Persistence overcomes resistance,” Sylvia replied curtly.

“How much persistence is one man supposed to have, Sill? You really hurt me. So, when I got back here I did my level best to put you out of my mind and still I think about you and our summer together quite frequently. It was probably the best summer I’ve ever had. And Lord knows I regretted leaving. Gosh it’s good to see you. C’mon let’s get out of here,” he continued.

Turning off the lights and locking the classroom door, Peter hugged Sylvia again before leading her to the front of the building where they chatted some more about the past summer, her move to Atlanta and her third graders.

“Where’s your car, Sill? I have a prior engagement in about an hour but if you’d like we can grab some lunch later, that is, if you’re free.”

Sylvia wanted to tell him that she’d traveled close to three hundred miles to be with him and he’s got the nerve to ask me if I’m free. She chuckled to herself Yeah, I’m free, she thought, but once I get my hooks into you this time Professor Peter Townsend, freedom will be little more than a brief memory to you.

“Yes, I’m free, Peter,” Sill said. “I took the afternoon off to see some of Atlanta’s more prominent landmarks,” she lied. “You know, Morehouse and Spellman. Thought I’d look up a couple of my sorority sisters who are teaching over at Spellman.”

“And to think, I thought the sole purpose of your visit was to come and see me,” Peter teased, seeing through Sill’s attempt at being coy and aloof.

“I hate you, Peter,” Sill said, giving Peter a shove that sent him sprawling into the side of her car.

“How’s the car holding up? My uncle tells me you’re in every week having something done to it.
That
many problems, Sill?” Peter asked. He was grinning from ear to ear now.

“You dirty dog!
And he never even mentioned a word.
Y’all ain’t right,”
Sill said, feigning exasperation. Actually, she was relieved to know he had been checking on her.

Still, it had been more than seven months since she’d last seen him and that was more than enough time for any man to get over someone and find someone new. And in Atlanta, where the ratio of women to men was something like three-to-one, a bright, young, handsome engineer was a prize package that was surely in demand. But she was not ready for anything but good news, today. If he’d found another woman, he would certainly let her know. Yet, from what she’d gathered from the conversation so far, she was still the only woman in his life.

“Peter do you mind if I ask you a question,” Sill asked, speculatively.

“Ask away, but first did I mention how stunning you look. You seem like you’re growing more beautiful each time I see you,” Peter said.

“Peter, please! Be serious for a change. I need you to put my mind at ease. That’s really why I came here today,” she grabbed his arm and leaned over the console, which divided the seat in the car.

“Go ahead, Sill.”

“Peter, if I had insisted that you stay in Elizabethtown last summer, would you have stayed?” she asked, bluntly.

“I really don’t know, Sill. I asked myself that very same question a thousand times and I’ve yet to come up with an answer. Morehouse has been good to me. I have ties here that aren’t easily broken. A lot of people have invested a lot of time to make sure that I succeed. As much as I love you, Sill, I also have to consider the time and effort they’ve invested in me as well,” he said.

“Did you ever consider marrying me, Peter?” Sill asked.

“No, but I considered pushing your father in No-Name Creek a couple of times and hooking up with you mother ‘cause she’s a much better cook,” Peter laughed.

“Oh, no you didn’t! Peter Townsend, you are despicable. I don’t know why I love you.”

As soon as she said it she wished she hadn’t. It was too late now. The cat was out of the bag. Still, Sill wondered why Peter hadn’t responded. If he told her that he loved her as well, they could have continued as if nothing had happened. Their relationship renewed, they could have started planning to build on what was already there. They loved each other. Of this, she was sure. So why couldn’t he just commit? What was it that men were so afraid of anyway? Regardless, Peter Townsend had no choice. Now that she’d found him, she’d be damned if he was going to get away again.

In the weeks that followed, Sylvia could not believe that Atlanta could possibly have so much to offer. There were more parks and art galleries and every kind of restaurant and nightclub than she could ever have imagined. It was certainly the place to be if you were young, Black, aspiring and in love. Not that Peter had ever said that he was in love with her. His commitment or lack of was only a temporary situation, she thought. It was only a matter of time before she would have him wrapped around her little finger but for right now she was just happy to have him in her life once more.

To her surprise, he had changed little. Still, quiet and unassuming, he was just as happy sitting at home with her as he was hitting the local clubs or bars. That was, as long as she wasn’t watching that damn
Lifetime
channel she had grown so fond of recently. Actually, he really didn’t seem to have a passion for anything except engineering and spending time with her.

Every now and then, he would get caught up in some fervor of the moment and get the notion that he was a fisherman and force them to take that long-ass drive back to Elizabethtown to go fishing with her father. Mr. Shipp, tickled to death to see the two back together again after such a lengthy hiatus, would dig his fishing gear out of storage and the two men sometimes would disappear for the better part of the weekend.

Sylvia and her mother would use this time to catch up on all the latest gossip. Either that or they’d jump in Sill’s Escort and ride to Myrtle Beach or Cross Creek Mall in Fayetteville where they’d shop ‘til they dropped. Sill hated making the long drive from Atlanta to Elizabethtown and hated the idea of sharing Peter during her weekends off but didn’t want to appear selfish so she rode along. Besides, she feared that if she chose not to go Mr. Independent would probably go anyway.

The only positive aspect of the whole affair was that they no longer had to bounce up and down in Peter’s pickup. Upon receipt of his Masters, Peter promptly traded the Ford pickup in for a brand new Lexus. He still wasn’t making the money to afford the luxury car but purchased it under the deferred payment plan with the assumption that he would be working in his field by the time the payments hit. The only reason he wasn’t already working as an engineer in some firm and was teaching was because he was taking the place of one of the engineering professors at Morehouse who’d been diagnosed with colon cancer and was currently undergoing chemotherapy.

And although this bothered Sylvia, she refused to let on. All Peter talked about was getting out of Atlanta and going to New York or L. A. “That’s where the money is,” he would say. He was even considering Texas. Houston or Dallas. Not once while discussing his plans did he mention or include her. Either she had to infer that she was going or he simply had no intention of taking her.

Either way, there was no specific mention of her in his plans. Whether he knew it or not, she wouldn’t have been able to leave anyway, even if she wanted to. When she accepted her teaching position, she signed a five-year contract, which absolved her of all of her student loans, with the agreement that she teach in a depressed area for five years. And, if she couldn’t go, then he couldn’t go. She’d come all this way to be with him and she hadn’t come all this way to be abandoned by him again.

CHAPTER 6
 

Fall soon became winter. And Peter remained steadfast in his quest to finish out the semester and to pursue his dream of being a civil engineer but he seldom mentioned it around Sill who became increasingly hostile when he talked of relocating. The last time he’d mentioned that he’d sent a résumé to Hoffman LaRoche in New Jersey she’d gone off the deep end. To this day, he didn’t know why she grew so perturbed when he mentioned leaving but if that was going to be her reaction then from now on he would keep his plans to himself

In spite of his plans, Sill still enjoyed the time they spent together. She had never known anyone quite so thoughtful. He called her on her cell everyday without fail during her planning period at work. And, if for some reason she was having a particularly rough day, she could always expect flowers or a box of chocolates when she arrived home. When both the doctor and fireman cancelled at the last minute during the career day she planned for her students she was in tears. Twenty minutes later, Peter Townsend arrived with a nurse from the Morehouse infirmary and one of the campus cops to fill in.

And she hardly ever cooked anymore. She didn’t have to. If he didn’t bring dinner and she refused to order out then he made her get dressed and took her out to eat. Peter introduced her to foods so foreign; she couldn’t even pronounce their names. He insisted that she try new things regularly. And when he felt she was homesick or needed to see her family, he’d arrive at six o’clock Saturday morning, pack her belongings, fix lunch and off they went. Yet, for some reason he still remained an enigma in her eyes. When he wasn’t with her she had no idea where he was. And even after being together for three and a half months in Atlanta, she had never even been to his apartment. He always claimed that he was too embarrassed to take her to his ‘hut’ as he referred to it.

But what bothered her more than anything about Peter was his reluctance to sleep with her. More than once, they cuddled on the tiny loveseat in the living room watching television when he would begin nuzzling her ear. Soon she would find herself kissing him deeply, passionately, the ugly memory of Tech far from her thoughts. All she wanted at these times was for Peter to pick her up, walk her to her bedroom and make love to her. Yet, each time they reached this point Peter would find some excuse to bail out. She wondered if the word had gotten to Peter that she was soiled goods. Whatever it was, Sylvia had had enough. She was twenty-four years old and had never slept with a man of her choosing. Her sorors used to tease her before the incident that she was going to have cobwebs growing soon. Now she wasn’t so sure they were wrong. But tonight, all that would end.

Sill arrived home from work exhausted. “Thank God it’s Friday,” she said to herself.

Running a piping hot bath, she knew she was going to have to hurry. Peter was due to pick her up in an hour. He never seemed to worry about her attire but tonight was different. Everything had to be just right. “No more excuses, Mr. Townsend,” Sill said to herself. “Tonight we’re going to see what you’re really made of” Sill laughed as she stuck her foot into the bathtub. “Damn, it’s hot,” she said. No longer was she worried about talking to herself. In fact, tonight would not only bring a new facet to their relationship but would ultimately bring closure to the demons she so desperately had been trying to escape.

Sylvia grabbed the bottle of lilac beads and poured them into the tub before grabbing the glass of
Jack Daniels
that sat on the side of the tub. She drank the first shot slowly and then gulped down another three shots. An half an hour later, she stepped out of the tub smelling like lilacs and whiskey.

After drying off Sylvia pulled out the shopping bag from
Victoria’s Secrets
grabbed the fishnet stockings, garter belt and black teddy with the tear away undies and dressed quickly. Now all she needed to do was step into the six-inch spiked heels when the doorbell rang. Wrapping her faded pink terry cloth robe around Sylvia headed for the door but not before putting the ice bucket with the champagne and two champagne glasses next to the bed for easy access. She then mixed three shots of
Jack Daniels
in a separate glass with just enough
Pepsi
to give it color and placed it on the living room table. Going to the stereo she turned on the CD player. She had just received the
Body and Soul Collection
of old school love songs in the mail. She’d ordered the CD’s for just such a