The Highlander's Forbidden Bride (18 page)

R
onan stood frozen in the doorway, never expecting to see the woman he loved in another man’s arms. They broke apart, and Carissa hurried over to him, greeting him with a blissful smile and a kiss, but still, he did not like the scene he had burst in on.

“Dykar has come to visit,” she said. “He can join us for the morning meal.”

Ronan nodded, though reluctant, preferring time alone with her. He closed the door behind him. “The twins asked for more apple buns.”

“Would you like to take some to them?” she asked, walking over to scoop out a couple.

“You take them,” he said, sitting at the table. “It will give Dykar and me a chance to get better acquainted.”

Dykar responded before Carissa could object. “Go, Rissa. I’d like a chance to speak with Ronan.”

Carissa looked from one man to the other, shook her head, then scooped the buns in a basket and placed a cloth over them.

She gave Ronan a kiss, and as she walked out
the door, she said, “You obviously survived the encounter with your brother, please do the same with Dykar, since I love you both.”

Ronan glared at Dykar and wondered what she meant that she loved them both. He should be the only one she loved. Who was this man who had earned Carissa’s love? Suddenly he remembered something Carissa had mentioned at the cottage. Just a brief reference when they had spoken about siblings…

“She loves you like a brother, doesn’t she?” Ronan asked.

Dykar nodded. “And I love her like a sister.”

“Do you know her like one?”

“Better than anyone,” Dykar said.

“Not quite,” Ronan said with a smile.

Dykar didn’t smile. “I know things about her you will never know, for she will never speak of them to you.”

“Tell me,” Ronan said. “I truly want to know Carissa.”

“If you love her, what difference does it make?”

“It’s not
if
I love her, I
do
love her, but—”

“But what?” Dykar snapped annoyed. “If you love her, nothing else should matter.”

“Nothing does matter,” Ronan shot back. “But I have a family that needs convincing that she is kind and can be trusted.”

“She needs to know the same of you, though I can tell you that her father made sure that trust did not come easily to his daughter,” Dykar said. “He was a cruel, cruel father.”

“So it would seem from the few things she has told me,” Ronan said. “I’m surprised her father allowed you two to become so close.”

“He didn’t. Carissa learned early on that he would not allow her to love anyone or thing, and with me being a slave—”

“You were a slave of Mordrac’s?” Ronan was shocked.

“I was, though Carissa made certain that I wasn’t treated badly.” He laughed. “The only way she could be sure of that was to treat me badly herself. She made it appear that she hated me, then we would sneak off to the woods together, where she had food hidden for me. We would talk and play.”

His smile faded.

“What happened?” Ronan asked.

“I matured, became a man, and couldn’t stomach the way Mordrac treated her. I foolishly spoke up to him.”

“What did he do?”

“He ordered me whipped to near death and left on the post to die slowly.”

“Carissa saved you?”

Dykar nodded. “That she did. She got me out of there before the whipping. I wanted her to go with me, but she refused, reminding me that Mordrac would search the world for his daughter, then brutality kill the man she fled with, but a mere slave he would not waste his time on.”

“So she remained behind and you—”

“I fled, though not far, and Carissa brought those she helped flee to me.”

“Which started the mercenary troop?”

“Yes, that’s how we got started,” Dykar said.

Ronan thought a minute. “So Carissa made me think I was being sold to mercenaries when she was actually freeing me.”

“She hoped you would simply return home and forget about her.”

“And when I didn’t—”

“Her only choice was to remove the reason why you remained with the group,” Dykar said, shaking his head. “She didn’t realize that your love for Hope was so strong that it would demand revenge against her.”

“Carissa seems to have sacrificed a lot for others,” Ronan said.

“She has lost more than you will ever know.”

Ronan was beginning to realize that there was a depth to Carissa that defined not a cruel nature but rather a selfless one. It made him want to protect her, cherish her, and love her all the more.

“This may seem an unimportant question, but why is Carissa frightened of dogs?”

Dykar sighed and slowly shook his head. “Rissa loves dogs.”

Ronan stared at him oddly. “Not from what I’ve seen. She froze when my mother’s dog raced over to her to lick her hand, and I watched her shove a puppy away from her when all he wanted to do was play.”

“I’ll tell you a story no one knows, and I only know it because I watched from a hiding spot, fearful that Rissa would suffer her father’s rage.” Dykar
paused and took a breath. “At a young age, Rissa became attached to a puppy while her father was away warring. The little fellow followed her everywhere. They were inseparable. When her father returned, he flew into a rage when he discovered that she cared for the puppy. He screamed at her about love being foolish and not lasting and he would not have a daughter of his being foolish. He took that puppy and in front of her…” Dykar couldn’t finish, his eyes filled with tears.

Ronan sat speechless, feeling as if his heart had been torn out of his chest.

“Rissa learned that day never to let her father see that she cared for anyone or thing. She pretended to steel her heart to keep others she cared for from suffering, but somehow she still managed to hold on to hope.” Dykar pointed at him. “And you arrived beaten, bruised, and bloodied, and you reached out to her and called her Hope, and she lost her heart to you.”

Dykar pointed his finger at Ronan. “Don’t break it. Her heart has been damaged enough. She does what she does to protect people, not to hurt them.”

Ronan was stunned. He almost wished Mordrac was still alive so that he could kill him all over again. But then Carissa had experienced enough hatred; what she truly needed now was to be loved.

“I’m glad we got to talk,” Ronan said.

“So am I,” Dykar agreed. “And just remember that whatever Rissa does, she does out of love.”

“Thank you so much,” Honora said, pulling apart the apple buns for her sons to share. “That’s all they have asked for since they woke this morning.”

“I’m glad they like them,” Carissa said, wanting to return to the cottage, worried that Ronan and Dykar might not get along.

Tavish screamed when Lachlan stole a piece of the bun from his plate.

Honora sent him a scathing look.

Lachlan licked his fingers after finishing the piece. “They’re too tasty to ignore.”

“I’ll bake more,” Carissa said, pleased that everyone enjoyed them.

“Lots,” Lachlan said.

“Carissa!”

She jumped at the unexpected shout of her name, though turned calmly to glare at Cavan.

“I wish to speak with you,” he said.

It was a command, not a request, and she nodded.

“Can’t this wait?” Honora asked her husband. “She has yet to eat, and neither have you.”

Cavan glared a moment at his wife, then turned and walked away.

Carissa knew it was a silent command for her to follow, and so she did, with a quick smile to Honora for her concern.

She entered Cavan’s solar, he closing the door behind her. And without waiting to be invited to sit, she took a seat in one of the chairs before the
hearth. He joined her, and she could see that he was none too pleased with her actions, or perhaps he was unhappy with his confrontation with Ronan. Either way, he was annoyed.

“My brother believes you a good, kind woman,” he said.

“And you don’t?”

“According to Ronan, my opinion of you is misconstrued and, therefore, I would not be able to judge you fairly. He feels that you should be given time to prove how kind and generous you are before I pass any judgment on you.”

She was ever so pleased that Ronan had defended her. “And how do you feel about that?”

“I feel I should judge you and end this farce since it’s obvious my brother has no intention of obeying me,” he said angrily.

“Would you obey such an order?”

“He is not my laird.”

“No, he’s your brother,” she reminded. “And the both of you have suffered enough because of my family.”

“I agree,” he said bluntly.

“Then judge,” she said, her shoulders back and her chin high.

“Here and now?”

“I’m ready,” she said.

He shook his head. “You are entitled to be heard by all before I pass judgment.”

“I waive that right. Judge me as you will, you have the right.”

He shook his head. “You are a bold one.”

“If it is bold to speak the truth, then I am guilty of being bold,” she said. “So say what you will, and I will do the same.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed.

“Tell me what I am accused of so that I may challenge the accusation.”

“You and Ronan are of the same mind,” he said. “He reminded me that you have committed no crime. You may be guilty of being cruel while we were prisoners of your father, but your only crime is being Mordrac’s daughter. He also pointed out that we haven’t always been kind to prisoners ourselves and have never been punished for it.”

“But you still seek revenge against me,” she said. “I can see it in your eyes.”

He leaned toward her. “Give me a reason not to. For my brother’s sake, give me a reason.”

Carissa hesitated. Did she take the chance and trust this man? Could he truly want to help his brother, or did he somehow wish to trap her? In the time she had spent with Ronan and in the short time she had been here, she had learned one thing. The Sinclares truly loved each other, and if she believed that, then she had to believe that Cavan loved his brother and wanted to see him happy.

“I could tell you how very much I love him. How nothing would make me happier than to carry his child, the first of many. But I don’t believe that would appease you,” she said. “The problem is, you think of me as your enemy.”

“Yes, I do,” he said.

“Until you believe me your enemy no more, there is nothing I can do to convince you.”

“For my brother’s sake, I urge you to try,” he insisted.

Her brow puckered. “Why the urgency?” Before he could respond, she gasped. “Ronan gave you an ultimatum.”

“He did. I either make peace with you or you both will leave and find a place where you will be accepted.”

Her heart soared, then plummeted. She did not want to see Ronan give up his family for her. Family was much too important, and she would not let him do that.

“He can’t do that,” she said.

“I told him the same, but he is stubborn, or I suppose, stubbornly in love.”

She smiled then, finally understanding. “You are trying to give him what he wants.”

“If I don’t, my wife will stop speaking to me, as will my mother, not to mention Zia, and Alyce has mentioned several times that it is wiser to keep an enemy close.”

“The women defend me?” she asked surprised.

He shrugged. “I can only assume they see something I don’t.” He grinned. “Though my wife is a good judge of people, and I trust her opinion. Besides, I would miss talking with her.”

Carissa held back her laugh.

“So tell me, Carissa, daughter of Mordrac, why I should allow you to join my family and my clan.”

“If I confide in you, Cavan, laird of the clan Sinclare, will you give me your word not to share what I tell with anyone?”

“Does that include Ronan?”

“Yes, it does,” she said softly.

“I give you my word as laird and as a warrior.”

Carissa did the only thing she believed she could do. She trusted Cavan. She shared stories with him that she had never told a soul. She told him about her father’s cruelty from when she was young. And then she explained how she had helped Ronan and how she fell in love with him. Finally, she finished by explaining why she had treated him as she did when he was a captive, how it was all a ruse so that she could help him without her father knowing. She told him how the water she had thrown on his wounds had contained herbs that had helped to heal him. And she explained how she had planned and executed the escapes of many prisoners and slaves, including him. And then she detailed how she had formed the mercenary troop and finished with a surprise that left him speechless; she explained how she had helped his wife escape so that her father could not use Honora as a pawn against him.

Cavan sat staring at her.

“I can’t make you believe me,” she said. “But I must tell you that I have never entrusted anyone, not even Ronan, with all of what I just told you. And while I don’t know if you will believe me, I have spoken the truth to you.”

Cavan sat silent for a few moments, then finally
found his voice. “I am grateful and honored that you trusted me. And oddly enough, I do believe.”

“And now do you know enough about me to pass judgment?” she asked, her head held high.

“I do,” he said.

“Wait,” she said making a decision that she felt was for the best. “There is one more thing I must confide to you.” She told him about Cregan, and that she had not confided this for fear of placing the Sinclares in danger.

“Thank you, Carissa,” Cavan said. “You have given more than I needed to make a wise decision, and I do agree that we tell no one about Cregan just yet, not until we find out more. And I’m very proud to welcome you to my family and my clan. You are truly a Sinclare warrior.”

Carissa jumped out of the chair with a cry of joy.

R
onan didn’t wait long after Dykar had taken his leave to hurry to the keep. Carissa had been gone too long, and he was worried. He shouldn’t have sent her there alone. Not after the heated discussion he and Cavan had.

He had tried to get his brother to understand how he felt about Carissa and that there was nothing he could possibly say that would change his mind. He had surprised Cavan and himself when he told him that if Carissa wasn’t accepted into the family, he would find a place that would accept them. And he had meant it.

After last night he knew that Carissa belonged to him and always had. The more they made love throughout the night, the more he watched as Hope and Carissa blended together as one. At times he heard the sweet kindness of Hope, then the bluntness of Carissa, until after a while he could barely tell the difference. Hope and Carissa were one and he loved that one…he loved Carissa.

That realization had made it easy for him to con
front his brother. While he had no desire to leave his family, he also didn’t want to lose Carissa. His ultimatum to his brother had been for Cavan to realize just how determined he was to keep the woman he loved.

Ronan understood Cavan’s anger, for it had once been his own, but he was certain that once Cavan truly got to know Carissa, he would feel differently toward her, and all would end happily. At least that was what he hoped.

Ronan entered the great hall, and the twins went running to him. He scooped them up, one under each arm, and walked to the table with them, giggling. He was about to ask where Carissa was, concerned that she was nowhere in sight, when he heard her screech.

He plopped the lads down by their mother and ran to the solar, flinging the door open and rushing in. He was shocked to see Carissa hugging a grinning Cavan.

Honora rushed in behind him, skidding to a stop beside him.

“You’ve finally come to your senses,” Honora said, walking over to her husband.

Carissa moved away from Cavan and hurried to Ronan’s side.

He wrapped his arm around her waist; her smile was jubilant.

“I’m free,” she said. “I’m truly free.”

Honora slipped her arm around her husband’s waist and kissed his cheek.

“Is that all the thanks I get,” he whispered.

She kissed his cheek again, then murmured, “When the twins nap, I’ll show you just how appreciative I am of such a wise and fair husband.”

Cavan swung his wife around in his arms to rest securely against him. Then he looked to Ronan and Carissa. “Since you owe me, please take the twins and keep them occupied for a while.”

“Cavan!” Honora scolded, her cheeks blushing red.

“I’d love to have the twins for a while,” Carissa said.

“We’ll play in the snow with them,” Ronan said, pleased with the turn of events. That Cavan entrusted the twins with Carissa meant that he did truly accept her and possibly even forgave her. And by playing in the snow with the lads, the villagers would see that Cavan approved of Carissa.

“Keep them as long as you’d like,” Cavan said, and grinned at Ronan.

Ronan laughed.

And before Honora could say a thing, Cavan’s mouth found hers and while he hungrily kissed his wife, he waved Ronan and Carissa away.

After Ronan shut the door, he did the same to Carissa, kissing her.

“It’s done,” Ronan said. “You are free, and you are now protected by the clan Sinclare.”

“I can’t believe it,” she said, smiling. “I never thought this day would come. I never thought it possible.”

“We will celebrate,” Ronan said. “What would you like to do?”

“I want to do as you told your brother. Play with the twins in the snow.”

“We will, but what else?” he asked, wanting her to have what she never did, a choice of her own.

“For now that’s enough,” she said. “To play freely with children and truly be able to enjoy it means much to me.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Ronan said, and took her hand to go gather the twins.

Tavish and Ronan squealed with delight each time their uncle Ronan hit one of them with a snowball. And they enjoyed it when, each time they hit him, he fell to the ground. His namesake would then run over and drop scoopfuls of snow on him. Then Tavish and Carissa would join in until, with a growl, Ronan would rise, and the twins would run off laughing.

The only way that Carissa and Ronan could get the twins inside was for Carissa to tell them that they could help her make more apple buns. And that’s what they did. First they went to the kitchen, and the twins and Ronan helped her gather what she needed, then they went to the cottage where Carissa stayed and, before making the buns, she set a broth to brew for them to have while the buns cooked.

Carissa had never had such a wonderful time cooking. The lads were covered with flour and apple bits stuck to their cheeks and fingers. It was a delightful time, and while the buns baked, the
twins sat eagerly eating the broth and bread she had spread with soft cheese.

A knock came at the door just as Carissa joined them at the table. Ronan bid them to enter with a shout, and the twins mimicked him.

Honora entered, Cavan following behind her.

“You didn’t have to keep the lads this long,” Honora said.

Cavan grinned. “But we’re glad you did.”

Honora playfully slapped his arm, then went to hug her sons.

Tavish started crying. “No go. No go,” he said through tears.

Ronan smiled. “Looks like your son found a new home.”

“Join us,” Carissa offered, standing to give her seat to Honora. “There’s plenty.”

Cavan scooped up Tavish and sat him on his lap. “It smells too good to turn down.”

They ate and talked and between them all they finished the buns, and by the time they were done, the twins were sound asleep in their parents’ arms.

Before Cavan left, he turned to Carissa. “Maybe you could teach our cooks to cook like you. Otherwise, you’re going to have the whole Sinclare family eating every meal here.”

Carissa agreed, and when she shut the door, Ronan slipped his arms around her waist and rested his cheek next to his.

“It’s been too long since I’ve held you,” he said.

“Much too long,” she agreed.

“And too long since I kissed you,” he said, and turned her around in his arms to do just that.

She sighed when it ended. “I’ve known no other kiss but yours, but I do know that no other kisses could satisfy or entice me as yours do.”

He traced her moist lips with his finger. “You’re telling me that these lips have known no others but mine?”

She nodded. “Yes, you are the first ever to kiss me.”

He grinned. “And I’ll be the only man ever to kiss your lips.”

“I want no other but you, Highlander,” she said softly.

He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, and for the next few hours, they lost themselves in love.

Snow fell for the next few days, though not heavily. While Carissa and Ronan found time to be alone, often in bed, she also started becoming part of the Sinclare family.

She was amazed at how easily she got along with the three wives and shared their interests. She’d spend time with Honora stitching and even showed her how to improve on a stitch or two. When visiting with Zia at her healing cottage, she discussed herbs and potions that helped heal. And when with Alyce, they discussed battle strategies. The only thing the other women knew about that
she didn’t was birthing babes, and they freely discussed each of their experiences with her.

It was the first time in her life that she felt that she had a family, and she cherished every moment spent with each of them. She much enjoyed talking with Artair, for he was pragmatic, and Lachlan? He made her laugh. He was a charmer. But there was no doubt that each Sinclare man was a warrior, and a courageous one at that.

Then there was Addie. While Carissa wished to get to know her better, the woman was rarely around. She spent much time with Hagen, to the chagrin of all of her sons, except Ronan.

“Mother’s been gone for three days,” Cavan said, as they finished the morning meal in the keep.

“She told us where she’d be,” Artair said.

‘“With Hagen, don’t worry,’ is not telling us where she is,” Cavan said.

“Cavan’s right,” Lachlan said. “We should know where she is.”

“Hagen would never let anything happen to Mother,” Ronan said.

“There’s no need to worry,” Carissa said. “Hagen and your mother are with my men.”

“What?” All four sons bellowed.

The wives chuckled.

“What is my mother doing with mercenaries?” Cavan asked perturbed.

Carissa shook her head. “I couldn’t tell you that. I only know that they are with my men, and they are safe.”

“Why are your men still here?” Artair asked curiously. “With you in no danger, I assumed they would return home.”

“There are some matters that must be seen to first,” Carissa explained.

“A new leader being appointed for one,” Ronan said.

“Let’s get back to Mother,” Cavan said. “Carissa, can you please get word to our mother?”

“I thought to go see my men today,” she said.

“I’ll be going with her,” Ronan said, “so I’ll see how Mother is.”

“I’ll go along,” Alyce said. “I’d like to visit with Septimus.”

“Evan and Piper are there as well,” Carissa said.

“Then I’m going too,” Lachlan said.

“Maybe all of us should go,” Cavan said. “And the keep can take care of itself.”

“You should spend more time with your wife,” Lachlan suggested. “You’re less cantankerous when you’ve spent time with her.”

Cavan shot him a look that should have had him cringing, but instead Lachlan laughed.

“I’ll be here,” Artair reminded his brother.

“Though I may need him to help deliver a litter of pups later,” Zia said.

Cavan stood. “I’ve had enough.” He looked to Carissa. “I need to talk with you.”

Ronan stood along with her.

“I will speak to Carissa alone,” Cavan ordered.

“We don’t keep secrets,” Ronan said.

“I do,” Cavan said. “And while it appears at times you all fail to treat me as your laird, make no mistake that I am.”

Things had just turned for the good, and Carissa didn’t want to be the reason the brothers argued. She placed a gentle hand on Ronan’s arm, and said, “Why don’t you see to getting the horses ready? We can leave as soon as I’m done.”

She could tell he was annoyed, but he nodded.

Carissa smiled and tugged at his shirt so that he would lean down, and she kissed his cheek, and whispered, “I’ll confide all to you when we’re done.”

He was instantly appeased, and Lachlan and Alyce joined him to see to their horses.

Carissa didn’t give Cavan a chance to speak once he closed the door to his solar.

“I assume this meeting pertains to Cregan,” she said.

“It does,” he answered. “I’d like to know what else your men have learned about his approach. How many men in his troop? If there is any further indication of what he wants and so on. You have commanded your men long enough to know what information I’m looking for.”

“I don’t like keeping this from Ronan,” she admitted.

“I can understand that. But I know my brother, and when he learns that a warrior who had fought alongside your father heads this way wanting to meet with you…” Cavan shook his head. “I will not be able to contain him. And in a sheer moment
of foolishness, he could very well lose his life.”

“I don’t believe Ronan would do anything foolish,” she said, though she secretly wondered.

“Are you sure of that? After all he’s gone through to find the woman he loves, do you truly believe he wouldn’t do anything to protect you?”

“I see what you mean,” she admitted. “I suppose it is better we don’t take the chance.”

“It is better we find out what Cregan wants from you before we alert Ronan to the situation.”

She nodded. “Agreed.”

“So what are you going to tell him I said to you?”

“How did you know I’d tell him?”

Cavan grinned. “I have a wife who expects the same.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m not sure what to tell him.”

“I am,” Cavan said. “Tell him I wanted to know if he asked you to marry him yet.”