The Honor Trilogy: Books One, Two, and Three of the Honor Trilogy (11 page)

After checking all my vitals and running tests, the ER doctor releases me with a request for me to see my regular physician.
Yeah. I know that already. It’s the same thing every time
. It’s well past dinner by the time the four of us get home. Mom and Dad don’t mind me riding with Ethan…but I sure do. I am not in the mood for a scolding from my boyfriend.

“Honor,” he begins…literally a tenth of a second after he sits in the car…not even shutting his door before he starts on me. “What in the world were you thinking going over there?”

“Please don’t start, Ethan. I’m so tired.”

“Exactly. You don’t know how this is going to affect you. You don’t just heal someone like it’s magic and then, voila, everything’s ok. This could affect you for a very long time.” Ethan’s voice rises. “She was dying, damn it. Your mother died. You saved them both within, what, a month or two of each other? Honor, you’re killing yourself!”

“Oh stop.”

“Oh stop? Stop? Are you serious?” He yells. “My parents died young just healing regular stuff. You practically brought your mother back from the dead…and Shelby was so close herself. I don’t know what ramifications this is going to have.” He runs his hand through his hair, while he squeezes the steering wheel with his other hand so hard his knuckles are white.

“Why do you even care?” I mutter, too tired to discuss the whole thing.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” He’s looking at me and not the road. While my eyes are glued to what is beyond the windshield, his attention is on me. “I love you, Honor.”

“Ethan, the road.” It’s making me nervous to know he’s driving with no eyes on the road.

“Forget the road, Honor.” He pulls over to the side. “You’re not God, Honor,” he screams again. “What if He meant for Shelby to die today? What if she wasn’t meant to live a longer life? You just messed with God.”

“What if God meant for me to save her, Ethan?” I rebut. “What if that’s why He put me here…near Shelby? You can’t tell me you know for sure that He
didn’t
want me to save her life. Right, Ethan?”

He closes his eyes and lets out a long, tormented breath. “I love you. Do you understand that? I’ve never loved anyone before…even my parents. I’d never felt this intensely emotional about anyone. From the moment I saw you in person, I wanted to be near you. I know I’m only eighteen, but jeez, Honor, I love you so much.” His voice cracks. His heart pounds. I feel it.

Ethan takes my face in his hands, and I must say it hurts. My skin hurts. My jaw hurts. Everything hurts. He holds my aching face in his hands and looks me in the eyes. “You cannot take that away from me, baby. Please. You cannot leave me while you’re so young. I want to grow old with you. We may not have forever in this world, but I’d like to spend as much time as possible with you.” He keeps my face in his hands and kisses my nose. “Let’s get you home.” Putting the car in drive, we head home.

“Ethan?”

“Yes?”

“In case you were wondering…I love you, too.”

“Thank you,” he whispers, not taking his eyes off the road. But his smile is wide.

After pulling into the driveway, Ethan swings around to get me and walks me up the stairs.

“Where’d you guys go?” Mom asks from our front step as Ethan helps me into the house.

“We just stopped to talk for a while, Mom.”

“Oh. Well come on now. You need to rest. I got some pillows and blankets out for you. I set them on the couch…C’mon, Ethan, bring her over here.” As if he didn’t already know where the couch is, we follow her.

“Mrs. Stevens. You go sit, I’ll take care of Honor,” Ethan insists. “You’re supposed to be resting yourself.”

“Oh I’m fine, but you cover her up, I’ll put on water for tea.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I look desperately at Ethan. “What am I
gonna do? I have to tell her. She’s going to be calling all these doctors again and going through all this money. I can’t let her do that.”

“It’s your call, Honor. As long as you make it clear they have to keep this a secret…I would try and explain. I’ll be here when you do…if you want.”

“Of course. Of course I want.” I rest my head back on my pillow. “They’ll never believe it.”

“Well, they have no choice. You are what you are.” Ethan taps the end of my nose with the tip of his finger.

“Maybe tomorrow. I’m exhausted tonight.”

Ethan lifts my head, pillow and all, and sits on the couch, allowing my head and pillow to rest on his lap. He reclines his seat and caresses my face – until we drift off to sleep.

**

I wake the following morning, head still resting on Ethan’s lap, weak and fatigued. My body feels like it is being held down by an elephant. I cannot lift myself off the couch. I can’t even lift my head off Ethan’s lap.

“Babe?” Ethan runs a concerned hand through my hair. “What’s going on?”

“I…can’t move…much.”

I’m sure he doesn’t mean for me to hear him, but a low “tsk” escapes Ethan’s lips before he sighs. “Oh, Honor. I wish I knew how this was going to affect you. Hopefully it’s just temporary.”

“I need to get up though. I have to try, otherwise I’m
gonna pee my pants.”

Ethan chuckles then groans as he lifts me up from the couch.

“Hey. You implying I’m heavy?”

He doesn’t even crack a grin, and he ignores my question. “Honor, do your joints hurt?”

“Everything hurts,” I joke.

“Your joints, Honor. Do
they
specifically hurt?”

“Yes, but…”

“Like arthritis hurt?”

“Well I’m not sure what arthritis feels like, but I guess so.” I shrug and wince. Even my shoulders hurt.

He helps me over to the bathroom. Before I go in, I have to ask. “Why?”

The expression on my boyfriend’s face is grim. His jaw tightens as he pulls his lips in. After a quiet second he murmurs, “I think it’s starting already.”

“What?”

“Go pee, Honor. I’ll wait right here.”

Since I really can’t wait, I have no choice but wait for his answer. When I come out of the bathroom, Mom is up. Ethan holds his arm behind my back to steady me.

“Good morning,” Mom chirps then frowns. “You two look…ill. What’s the matter?”

“I’m still feeling weak, Mom, but I’m actually…getting better.” I realize I’m feeling better as I answer my mother.

“But what about you, Ethan? You don’t look so well either. Are you getting sick?”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Stevens. Just worried about Honor.”

It occurs to me then – Ethan not only has his one arm around my back. His other arm is reaching across me to hold my hand. It isn’t an indolent hold he has on my hand either. He is squeezing my hand – not so it hurts, but so it heals. With a jolt, I pull my hand from him and glare as sternly as I can to let him know he shouldn’t be doing that. His eyes close for a moment, and he shakes his head in disappointment. No wonder he isn’t feeling well; all night I’d been lying on his lap, and he’s been holding me all morning. Ethan is absorbing my pain.

“What’s going on, you two?” My mother finds our behavior suspect.

“Nothing, Mom. It’s just something…between us.” Her sudden frown indicates that I’ve hurt her feelings. Mom has always been my confidant…until Ethan had divulged my past. Now Mom knows nothing about me. That saddens her…and me. I
want
to be able to talk with her. I’m just so unsure.

“Well, come on, I’ll get you some tea. Ethan, do you drink coffee or tea? I’ve a pot made.” My mom resigns to dropping the subject, yet I still see the hurt in her eyes.

“I’d love a cup of coffee, Mrs. Stevens.”

We sit at the breakfast bar while Mom makes my favorite – banana pancakes.

I watch the color return to Ethan’s face now that he isn’t in physical contact with me. He’s still annoyed though.

“Ethan,” I whisper. “Thank you for trying.”

He turns his head from me, ignoring my gratitude.

I tug on his sleeve. “Ethan…”

“Not now, Honor.” He doesn’t even bother to keep his voice down. I see Mom look at us from the corner of her eye. I know she is trying to surmise what’s going on between him and me.

Ethan’s phone rings. “Hello,” he answers. “No, not going today…mmm…it’s on Weldon Road…yeah, just go to the front office…Sure. I’ll stop by later…yeah…bye.”

“Who was that?” I ask, curious to know.

“My uncle. He’s registering Hunter for school today.”

“I thought you guys were all emancipated?”

“We are…but Uncle Tom just wants to make sure it all runs smoothly. He likes to look after us, and Hunter’s the only one that lets him.” Ethan sighs.

“You don’t?”

He shakes his head. “I moved out a long time ago. I need to live on my own.”

“I thought Hunter lived on his own too?”

“He does. He did…until he came here. He stays close with Uncle Tom. He never leaves him for too long.”

“What about your other…” I stop, realizing Brad had just been killed.

“Brad and Elijah left with my mom’s sister…Aunt Kim. Though I don’t know why Brad was in Jersey. Last I heard they were all in Florida.” Ethan puts his head on the counter.

“You better lift your head, honey, here are your pancakes.” Mom slides our plates on the counter. I wonder what she thinks of our conversation. She remains quiet, obviously still hurt that I won’t confide in her anymore.

“Thanks, Mrs. Stevens.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

After breakfast, Ethan and I go back to the couch. Mom brings us a Scrabble board, so we put it between us on the couch and play a few games until we get bored. Ethan stays pretty quiet himself.

“Ethan,” I finally offer. “I know you are upset I pulled away, but I don’t want you to always rescue me from my pain. What I did for Shelby I did because I wanted to. I knew the repercussions. You don’t need to protect me.”

Ethan glares at me, but I don’t look away. I watch his eyes turn from angry to concerned.

“Don’t you know I
need
to protect you,” he says. “Because I
want
to? You are already starting the aging process, Honor. I can’t watch you do this.”

“But it’s okay to watch you grow old?” I snap.

He sighs. “I don’t have the answers, sweetie. I wish I did.”

I put my hand on his. “It’ll be okay, Ethan. Really.” My voice struggles, not really convinced of my declaration at all. Will it all be all right? By saving Shelby, had I committed myself to an early death?

If I never learn to ignore the suffering of others, I’ll be ultimately causing Ethan a lifetime of suffering – leaving him to live a lonely existence…again.

Ethan and I pretty much veg on the couch all day. After Scrabble, I rest my head on his lap, and we share earphones and listen to
A Day to Remember
and
Blink 182
from Ethan’s iPod. Dad comes home from work at five, and Mom fixes dinner.

“Hey Honor, how
ya feeling, kiddo?” Dad asks before kissing me on the top of the forehead.

“I’m fine, Dad. Feeling much better.”

“Thanks to Ethan here.” Dad points his chin in Ethan’s direction. “He’s been takin’ good care of you?”

“Yes, Mr. Stevens, but Mrs. Stevens has been doing most of it. She’s been waiting on both of us all day.”

“Yeah, she’s great like that…though she should be resting herself.” Dad walks into the kitchen to see Mom. I hear them talking softly while Dad rummages through the day’s mail like he always does. He reappears, holding out a yellow padded envelope. “This one’s for you, honey.” Dad hands me the envelope and returns to the kitchen.

“No return address,” I note before opening it. “Hmm.” I pull out three small cards – mine and Ethan’s driver’s licenses and Ethan’s credit card.

Ethan takes the envelope and its contents from me, investigating them closely. “It’s post-marked from Nevada. Why am I not surprised?”

“
Whattya think?” I whisper so Mom and Dad don’t hear me from the kitchen.

“I think…Storm is done with them for now.” Ethan steals a dramatic pause. “And I think…I won’t be surprised if he’s back in town soon.”

**

Sure enough, when we return to school the following Monday, Storm is present…not a word spoken by him about where he’d been. Of course Ethan tries to prod it out of him, but Storm remains adamant that he knows nothing about the disappearance and/or reappearance of Ethan’s credit card and identification. Storm also reassures Ethan that he would help him get the sucker who tried to pull one over on his dear sweet younger brother – Storm’s words; not mine. Naturally, this annoys Ethan while simultaneously entertaining Storm.

Hunter has the same lunch hour as we do, so he sits with Ethan, Tamlin and me. Ethan’s brother Hunter is just as gorgeous as Ethan and Storm, only his hair has more auburn-coppery tones dispersed through his platinum hair. His skin is just as fair, and yes, his eyes are violet. Tamlin is making googly eyes at him the whole time, but it doesn’t look like it fazes Hunter. Then again, he and Ethan are engrossed in whispered conversation and aren’t paying attention to much else. Every once in a while, I’ll get a little squeeze on my thigh from Ethan, letting me know he is still there.

It’s unnerving to know they are talking about something so dangerous, yet I am not privy to the details. The anxiety inside of me is building just knowing that sometime in the near future, whoever is after us will inevitably find us.

Tamlin and I leave Ethan and Hunter at the lunch table when the bell rings. Ethan turns his attention away from Hunter briefly to kiss me goodbye then goes right back to his conversation…disregarding the signaling bell.

After school, Hunter comes with us to my house. Sitting at the breakfast bar with my mother when we walk in is Shelby…sipping a cup of tea.

“Shelby?” My voice quakes as I am suddenly very aware of the events that had passed between us a week ago.

“Honor.” Shelby’s voice is soft, and I hear an equally unsettling rattle in her voice as well.

“Ethan, is this your brother you’ve been talking about?” Mom walks from behind the bar to the dining room.

“Yes, Mrs. Stevens, this is Hunter.”

“Hello, Mrs. Stevens.” Hunter holds out his hand to greet my mom. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Why don’t I get you two a glass of iced tea and I’ll bring it into the living room. Ethan, show Hunter to the couch.” My mom gives her sweet command. It makes me chuckle.

“Honor, honey.” Mom addresses me now, after the boys leave the room. “I poured you a cup of tea.” She puts it down on the bar next to Shelby’s. “Shelby would like to talk with you, so I’ll leave you two alone and see how Ethan’s doing.” Mom leaves with two glasses of iced tea in her hand.

“How are you, Shelby?” My nerves are tangled in knots in my stomach as I sit on the stool next to Shelby. Both of us look at our cups of tea and fidget with our saucers.

Shelby nods her head. “I’m good.” She chokes out.

“Good, I’m
gl…”

“Listen, Honor.” She finally turns towards me, but my focus is still on my tea. “I’m really sorry about the way I’ve been treating you.”

“It’s fine.” I attempt to look at her but then quickly avert her stare.

“No. It’s not fine. I was angry and mad at the world and…I took it out on you. That was so not cool.” Her voice is getting stronger; her confidence is building.

With my stomach settling just a bit, I turn to face her. “I understand though,” I say softly.

She nods. “How? How did you know, and
how
did you…cure me?”

Okay, forget the settling. My nerves are now firing full throttle. “I…I didn’t…”

“Don’t lie to me. I felt it. I felt all my pain leave me…and…” She taps her fingers rapidly on the counter. “I know you were taking it away, Honor. I just want to know how.”

“I…I don’t know what you’re…”

“Stop. Honor. Don’t. I know you did.” Her voice is loud.

“What’s going on here?” Ethan walks in, and I feel his hand on my lower back. My anxiety calms at his touch. Because I’m so extremely distraught, I am not about to stop him from using his
powers
this time.

Shelby swivels on her stool to address him. “Your girlfriend cured my cancer. I am very grateful for that. I owe her my life…I just want to know
how
she did it.”

Ethan looks to me and then back to Shelby. Opening his mouth to speak, he doesn’t. Shelby stops him.

“Look, Ethan. Honor.” Her eyes dance back and forth from me to Ethan. “You have my word I will not say anything to anyone. As far as the doctors and my parents are concerned, God performed another of His little miracles,” she says sarcastically. “But I know better. It was you…It’s going to drive me crazy if I don’t know how the hell you did it.”

“Shelby…” I speak before Ethan can. “It
was
one of God’s miracles.” That’s not a lie, not really. Whatever I can do is most certainly a gift from God – a gift for those I can heal, anyway. To me, it feels more like a curse.

Shelby sighs. “Look. I need to know. What if it comes back? I need to understand…this, this…whatever it was that made me get rid of my cancer. I was
dying
, Honor. On my way…out. Then you…you touch me and I’m fine. No more pain. No more fatigue. No more friggin’
cancer
. Honor. Is it going to come back?” There is such desperation in her voice I want to cry.

“Ethan?” My eyes plead with him. He knows what I am asking of him. A slight nod of his head signals his permission to divulge our secret to Shelby.

I place my hand on her thigh just above her knee. “You’re right,” I whisper, not wanting my mom to hear. “I did heal you…but…” A guttural sigh escapes from somewhere in my gut. “I still don’t understand how.” Removing my hand from her leg, I now hold my own head in my hands – elbows perched on the bar. Hearing my own words leave s a sour taste in my mouth. I still cannot fathom the idea that I have the capability of healing someone from the crippling effects of cancer. It just makes no sense to me whatsoever. My response to Shelby sounds ludicrous. Finishing my thoughts is impossible. I am getting too depressed over it. Trying to understand all this is just too overwhelming.

Ethan’s hand is on my back…warm and comforting. Slowly, my dismay leaves my body. Ethan is taking over again.

“Shelby.” Ethan’s other hand rubs my arm when he speaks Shelby’s name. “Honor is just finding this all out herself.”

“Finding what out?” Shelby’s impatient with this whole subject, and I don’t blame her.

“She is what we call an empath. She and I both are.”

Shelby’s head shakes in confusion. “An empath?”

“We feel other people’s pain.” Ethan explained. “And if we touch that person, we actually absorb it and take it away from them. If we touch them long enough and focus on their pain, we can take it all away…for good…like Honor did for you.”

A couple of tears escape Shelby’s eyes.

“It’s a painful process,” Ethan continues, his face tight and unexpressive, “
for us.
And it doesn’t come without dire consequences. I
begged
Honor
not
to do it.” His tone is unyielding; he will not find compassion for Shelby, though he should be naturally feeling it for her.

Shelby’s wide eyes signal her shock at Ethan’s honesty.

It doesn’t faze Ethan. “By saving
your
life, she began digging an early grave for herself.”

“Ethan.” I snap. He does not need to tell her that.

“What does that mean?” Shelby asks, clearly confused by Ethan’s resentment.

“It means…for every life she saves…or every person she heals, her years are cut drastically. Most empaths who focus on healing others die shortly after their teenage years…so yeah, you’re here,” Ethan snarls. “But in a few years, Honor may not be.”

“Ethan.” I sigh.

“Sorry, Honor. She needs to know what you sacrificed for her…your personal bully.”

“Ethan, stop.” I cry.

“No, Honor. He’s right.” Shelby interrupts. “I
was
a bully to you, but I promise, I will
never
mistreat you again.” She steps off her stool and hugs me. “You are such a special person to have done that for me…I owe you my life. I hope you can forgive me…” She pulls away and sits back down. “And be my friend…I need more people like you in my life.”

“So every time you get hurt or sick she can make it all go away.” Ethan scoffs.

Now it’s getting too much. Why on earth won’t Ethan stop?

“No, Ethan.” Shelby responds in a calm voice while she looks him in the eye. “So I can learn to be a better person.” Shelby turns toward me. “You were never the freak, Honor. I was.”

An involuntary chuckle slips out from somewhere inside me. “Well…no…I am a freak. I’m the one who’s not so normal anymore.”

Shelby laughs and I suddenly feel a new type of bond form between us.

“Yeah,” she says. “I guess you’re right…but you’re a nice freak.”

“Don’t hurt her again, Shelby,” a weary Ethan warns. “ And
please
do not share this secret. It’d be detrimental to all of us…especially Honor.”

Right away Shelby promises, “Of course. I promise. I’ll never tell. And Honor, thank you so much…again.”

“You’re welcome. Do you like Scrabble?”

“Scrabble?” Ethan and Shelby answer in unison.

“Yeah, there are four of us. Wanna play?”

“Okay,” a jubilant Shelby answers, while a resigned Ethan groans, “Again?”

We all laugh and go in the living room by Hunter, who is watching a taped episode of
Switched at Birth.

“Did you turn into a girl while living with Uncle Tom?” Ethan mocks Hunter. “Since when did you start watching chick flicks?”

“Don’t mock it; the chicks in it are hot.”

Ethan just shakes his head and sets up the Scrabble game.

Scrabble is interesting with Ethan and Hunter. Their use of the English language is colorful to the say the least. It feels good to laugh the way the four of us do. It’s comforting…and I’m feeling good about my decision to help Shelby recover from her cancer. Unlike Ethan, I can’t just let someone suffer, knowing I can cure them.