The Hour of Dreams (19 page)

The only solace was alone time with Wes. He had taken me to a lake one day, and we spent the afternoon swimming and laying around, alone. It felt like pure heaven. Pure happiness. I called it my lake of happiness.

But when we got back into civilization, things became chaotic again. Chase was always picking a fight with me or Wes. To get away, we decided to take a skiing trip and visit my friend Kerry in Virginia. It was completely risky, because Wes couldn’t get too cold. If his body temperature dropped, it could cause him to slip into unconsciousness.

Despite a few bumps along the way, the trip ended up leading to the happiest moment I'd had so far. One evening, with the snow falling heavily outside, Wes proposed to me in the most romantic way. I’d previously joked about wanting him to carry me away on a white horse, so the ring box had a white porcelain horse on top. And inside was the most beautiful yellow diamond surrounded by axinite crystals.

I said yes without one ounce of hesitation. I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with him. The moment, the trip, the evening—everything was perfect, until we were separated shortly afterward. A group of men in a helicopter flew in, right to the top of the mountain, and took Wes away. Literally took him away. Some sort of threat for my safety was all it took for Wes to walk out, into the hands of some secret-ops group that wanted information for some potion they thought Wes’ lab had.

I glanced up again for his reaction. He was clearly lost in a thought, and I didn’t want to interrupt, so I softly read the last paragraph.

One single moment that broke my happiness. I even went back to our lake, hoping I’d feel close to him again, but without him, everything felt broken. And that’s when I knew that I’d do whatever it took to find him and bring him back. No matter what it cost me. I would try.

Somehow, that entry made me feel more vulnerable than the first one I’d read, and I looked away, unsure how to follow up. In a matter of five minutes, I’d read my deepest thoughts on when I fell in love with him and how I’d go to the end of the earth to keep him near me. It was dramatic and intense, and I felt so naked, sitting there, wondering how he was feeling, but I couldn’t bring myself to steal a peek at him this time.

Instead, I flipped through other pages. “I’ll read a couple more,” I said. Anything else, I figured he could read on his own, if he wanted to. The next entry I stopped on was one of the first ones I’d written when I bought the journal.

Now that I have Wes back and we are planning our wedding, I could not feel any happier. I’m afraid that a moment like this won’t come around too often. Wes and I are souls who have loved each other for decades, though I've been a different person each time. We’re not ignoring the fact that neither Amelia nor Lenny lived past the age of nineteen, or that Wes fears I won’t either. We’re just working through it. And one of the ways I can do that is to capture as many of my thoughts and moments as I can in this journal. That way, in case I do die before my twentieth birthday, we’ll have these memories written with an iron pen. My words will hopefully live forever, even if I don’t. And who knows? Maybe one day I’ll read these words and it will tie us together again.

“Wait a minute.” He stopped me and leaned forward. “What do you mean you don’t live to see twenty?”

“Um…” I shifted around in my seat. “Well, Amelia died from the flu when she was nineteen. And in the sixties, you ran into a girl named Lenny, who looked like her. I have entries about her if you want me to read them.”

He shook his head. “Just tell me about your death.”

“Well, Lenny died in a car accident when she was nineteen too. So you became convinced that, since our souls are tied together, that I won’t live past nineteen because you weren’t aging normally. Which is why we’re here. You believed that if you could reverse your original transfusion, you could align our lives correctly in time.”

He sucked in a deep breath. “And here we are.”

“And here we are,” I repeated. I couldn’t tell whether he was regretting his choice or not, so I started to explain. “You decided to do it because we’ve been having dreams that we think are actually memories of us from before you were Wes and I was Amelia. You believe our souls have been together even before that, and that we actually grew old together. That’s why you did it.”

He shook his head again. “I would have done it anyway. Without the dream.”

My lips parted. “You would have? But how would you know?”

“I just know.”

I sat there, frozen, not really knowing what to say. Wasn’t it everything I’d wanted? So why did I feel so nervous and strange?

While a million thoughts were racing through my mind, he leaned forward and scooted his body closer. With one hand, he wrapped his palm around the back of my neck and pulled me close enough to where his lips brushed mine.

“Come here,” he whispered.

My whole body shuddered nervously as our lips touched hesitantly, but it didn’t take long to find their rhythm. Familiar heat waves covered me, and I fell backward, bringing him with me. After all the fear and uncertainty, I had my Wes back and wasn’t going to take a single moment for granted. He kissed me softly, but hungrily enough to make me feel wanted and needed.

He was so eager, he would have kissed me and then some all night had we not been in a lab facility with doctors only walls away. But we were, and after a long time spent getting out emotions and needs that had clearly built up in us both, he pulled away and settled himself back on the couch. Then, he bombarded me with more questions, which meant he wasn’t
completely
back yet. But he was close.

T
he next morning, Wes was determined to go home. So was I, but it didn’t really feel like it was time. It was almost too easy. And in my experience, nothing about our lives was simple, so there was definitely apprehension on my part. And it wasn’t just me. Dr. Carter was acting strange. Usually calm and collected, he was much more tight-lipped. But he was letting Wes have his way. Under one condition.

Dr. Carter’s main request was that Wes get a full-body scan before he released him. Dr. Carter didn’t have the equipment at the lab, so he set up a time to have one done at the local hospital. He also required me to complete a comprehensive exam, which came back within the normal range, so I was free to go.

I welcomed the idea of leaving the facility permanently, but it still gave me a flip-flop feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hadn’t really thought too much about it. For some reason, I’d come to think that Wes and I would be stuck as lab rats forever. Or at least for however long our forever would be. But actually getting to go home? To live a normal life with just us? For all the hoping and wishing, I didn’t actually believe we would be normal. The idea weighed heavily on my mind. Wes and I could move on. So what if he didn’t have his complete memory. He loved me. I thought. Well, even if he didn’t completely love me, he wanted me, and that was enough. Plus, he was my husband, and whatever was in store, we would get through it together. We’d been through the sickness part, now for the health.

My apprehension must have been obvious, because Wes grabbed hold of my arm as I paced around.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, maintaining his gentle hold.

I took a moment to look him in the eye. Most of me wanted to lie and tell him nothing, because I needed to stop worrying and think more positively, but the other part wanted to be honest. It’s what he’d always asked of me, and as I looked into his familiar, deep brown eyes, I knew that if we were ever going to get back on track, honesty and communication would be vital.

“I guess I’m just worried that we won’t be okay.”

He shook his head ever so slightly to show his disagreement. “We’re already okay. You’re better. I feel good. Everything will be fine.”

“No. That’s not it. I mean us. Together. I’m a little worried about
us
.”

He let go of my arm, but squared himself to me. “You mean me. You’re worried about me.”

I started to get squirmy, but he stepped closer, not letting me off the hook. He was certainly being himself, which was nice. Except that it didn’t change the fact that I wanted to avoid the conversation.

“You can tell me,” he urged.

Fine. “I just hope you feel the same…about me…again.”

“Of course I do,” he said.

“I know, but I mean
really
. Really feel the same about us. Sophie and Wes.”

He looked away to gather his thoughts and then sighed deeply.

“Listen,” he said, making me look at him. “Remember what you said in your journal, about how you felt about me on the night I told you my secret.”

I nodded.

“You didn’t know a whole lot about me. You even thought I was crazy. You wanted to run away full speed, but something deep down in your heart knew what you needed. Despite everything, you still wanted me. You felt it in your heart. And I’m no different now. Even if I remember nothing else, I already know how I feel about you. I don’t need information to find a place for you in my heart. You’re already in there. It’s that simple.”

My mouth opened, and then shut. What do you say to that? I just nodded and smiled, trying my best to keep away those sappy tears. After a hug, long enough to bury my face until I had regained my composure, I sighed, feeling as content as I was going to, and told him I was ready.

With all of our things packed, we climbed into one of the Tahoes. Dr. Carter rode in the front, and Wes and I were in the back. He placed his hand in the space between us, and I put mine in his as we rode.

For most of the drive, we were quiet as he took in the surroundings that were now unfamiliar to him. Whatever he was thinking, he kept it to himself and only asked questions every so often. Seeing him take it all in was sad, in a way. Even though we would be fine, I didn’t want Wes to lose his memories. He’d spent a century becoming who he was because of his experiences, and I wouldn’t wish that loss on anyone. The thought made me give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

The drive was taking longer than expected, and I soon realized we were headed to San Francisco. It was a good route to wind down with. We eventually slowed down to make a turn into the parking garage of an army medical center. There were a few men and women in army attire making their way to their vehicles. Wes stared at them, completely intrigued, even going so far as turning himself all the way around in his seat to get a longer look. I squeezed his hand again, and he attempted to give me a smile, but I could tell it was forced, which gave me an unsettling feeling. I didn’t like seeing him seem so ungrounded.

After creeping up and down a couple of levels, we were able to find a space near the elevator. Dr. Carter took the lead, giving out instructions. First, Wes needed to remove his jewelry, because he wouldn’t be allowed to keep it during his scan.

He hesitated to take off his watch, but eventually placed it in the console. His wedding ring, which he had found among his belongings this morning, he handed to me with a reassuring nod. I put it in my pocket and slipped my arm through his.

Dr. Carter instructed the bodyguards to stay in the truck. They opposed at first, looking to Wes for support. Wes didn’t argue and neither did I, as medical procedures were personal and bodyguard presence was a bit awkward.

Just a few more tests
, I kept thinking. And then we’d be home. The time couldn’t come soon enough. The longer I spent with Wes outside of the lab, the more eager I was to get him home. The idea was sounding really good.

Dr. Carter gave us more instructions once we got inside. While Wes was being tested, we would have to stay in the waiting room. The procedure wouldn't take any more than thirty minutes.

Being inside the elevator felt odd, for some reason. It was weird having to escort Wes and be there to support him while he went through one of his procedures. He had always been by my side during my doctor visits, tests, and while waiting for results. He was my rock, and now it was reversed. I could tell that he felt uneasy, because he kept scanning the corners of the elevator. His behavior gave me the impression that he was a little bit nervous in unfamiliar territory, which was to be expected.

After stepping off the elevator, we walked down a long corridor that looked very similar to the ones at Wes’ lab. I would've thought that would be reassuring to him, but he still looked tense.

Hoping to help him, I unhooked my arm from his and placed my palm on his back, giving him a reassuring rub as we walked. After passing several doorways in an oddly desolate wing, we arrived at a door that required a pass code to open.

Dr. Carter rang the buzzer, and we were greeted by a middle-aged doctor with a grey buzz cut and strong jaw that gave him an intimidating demeanor.

The two doctors shook hands as the older doctor introduced himself as Dr. Peterson. He shook Wes’ hand, then mine, and then stepped aside so that we could enter a small waiting room. Inside, there were two small sofas and another doorway. I was instructed to stay in the waiting room, and Wes was escorted through the other door.

Dr. Carter and I sat down on separate sofas, across from each other. The silence in the air was awkward, so I glanced around to find several medical magazines sitting on the table next to me. I rolled my eyes at the idea of reading about medicine. If I didn’t have to think about a hospital, doctor’s office, or lab ever again, that would have been fine with me.

Eventually, my gaze settled back on Dr. Carter. He was sitting up stiffly, with his palms resting on his thighs. I resisted the urge to get a closer look to see whether a bead of sweat was on his brow.

A few minutes later, I stole another glance just as he looked at his watch. Then he made a call. I had no clue who he was talking to, but he told the person that things were going well, which made me feel good. When he hung up, he glanced my way and told me, or maybe he was trying to convince himself, that Wes would be fine.