The Human's Complicated Wolf [Nehalem Pack 5] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) (6 page)

“Fuck you, Jensen!” Josh shouted. When Josh took a step forward, Jensen didn’t move. He wasn’t going to allow Josh to intimidate him. He might be bigger, but Jensen was every bit as wide.

“I tried but you didn’t want to,” Jensen snapped back. It was a childish remark, but he was past the point of caring. Just when they had made a step forward, Josh had to go and take two steps back.

“Forget this.” Josh turned and headed for the door. “I’m out of here.”

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Jensen could have smacked himself for saying that. He didn’t want Josh to leave, but he was hurt and upset, and he couldn’t control what was flying out of his mouth. “That seems to be what you’re good at.”

Josh slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder, and Jensen felt the force of the man’s stare like a punch to the face. He’d gone too far. Without saying a word, Josh walked out the bedroom door. Jensen heard the front door slam and knew Josh had left.

You’re such an idiot! Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut? You’ll be lucky if Josh ever forgives you for that witty remark. He just lost his dad and find out he’s attracted to a man. You’re a real piece of work, Jensen.

“Now my conscience wants to chime in. Where were you when I was fucking everything up?” Jensen ran to the front door and threw it open just in time to see a white wolf vanish into the trees. Any chance to apologize was gone, and he had no idea if or when Josh would return.

Jensen sat on the couch for over an hour hoping Josh would come back, but he never did. With no other choice, he got up and got ready for the day. If he sat there just watching he door and waiting for it to open, he’d go insane.

After a long, hot shower he got dressed and then went into the kitchen and started the coffeemaker. He looked in the fridge and the pantry, but nothing sounded good to eat. The ache in his chest had suppressed his appetite, and just the thought of food made him want to vomit.

When the coffee was done brewing, Jensen poured himself a mug and went to work on the plans for Ethan’s house. Back home when real life got too stressful, Jensen would throw himself into his work, and there was no time like the present to do that. He could lose himself in his work and maybe, just maybe, he could forget about Josh.

Jensen laid the plans out on the kitchen table and started to sketch out some designs. Ethan had said he wanted a two-story house with a basement that ran the length of the whole house. The basement had to have a walkout and no windows.

The area Ethan had chosen was truly beautiful. A lot of greenery and hills in the distance. The thing that Jensen liked the best about the location was the seclusion. A person could live there without having to worry about noisy neighbors bothering them. Which Jensen assumed was what Ethan wanted. With him being a writer, a nice, quiet, comfortable place to work would be ideal and a must.

Jensen pulled out his camera and removed the small disk. He put it in his laptop and saved the images to his computer. As he studied the pictures, Jensen jotted down a note to contact some companies in the area to get a quote on what it would cost to get the trees cleared out.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when a knock sounded on the front door. Jensen rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes and got up. As he reached the front door, his heart skipped a beat. More than anything, he wanted Josh to be on the other side of the door.

Jensen tuned the knob and pulled open the door, but his excitement dwindled when it wasn’t Josh standing on his doorstep but Ethan.

“Jensen, where have you been?” Ethan stepped up close to him and put his hands on either side of Jensen’s face. “I’ve been calling you since last night and all day today.” Ethan’s dark eyes studied his face as if trying to read his mind. “Is everything all right?”

“I’m fine.” Jensen pulled away from Ethan and ignored the hurt look on the other man’s face. “You’ve been trying to call?” Ethan nodded his head. “Huh, I haven’t heard my phone ring.” Jensen patted down his pockets where he usually kept it but didn’t feel it. “I’m not sure where my phone is. I’m sorry, Ethan. I’ve just been drawing up plans for your house.” He chuckled. “I lose track of time when I work.”

“It’s okay, Jensen.” Ethan followed him into the living room. “I was just worried when you didn’t answer my calls.” Jensen sat down on the couch, and Ethan sat next to him. Ethan reached out and grabbed for his hand. “Thought maybe you had lost interest already.”

Jensen’s eyes widened.
Fuck!
So much had happened since their date the previous night. He didn’t want to hurt Ethan’s feelings, but he also didn’t want to upset Josh by leading on another man. He had to be honest with Ethan.

“Ethan, I have a confession to make.” Jensen took his hand from Ethan’s and moved to sit on the edge of the couch cushion.

“Oh boy, that doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s nothing bad, it’s just I’m sort of kind of seeing someone.” Jensen wanted to roll his eyes at how stupid he sounded. He wasn’t even for sure what he and Josh had between them was considered dating. And after this morning he didn’t even know if he’d see the man ever again.

“How do you kind of sort of date someone? And when did this happen?” Ethan rubbed a hand down Jensen’s back, and his body instantly responded to the gentle touch. He arched his back into the man’s touch, and he felt guilty for wanting what Ethan was more than willing to give, but he didn’t want it from Ethan. “I feel fairly confident in saying that we had hit it off.”

Jensen turned to face Ethan. The man’s dark eyes were like two shining spotlights pulling him in. He wanted to want Ethan, and he wanted to let the man take away his pain, but he couldn’t live with the guilt of being unfaithful to Josh.

“We did,” he rushed to say. “It was someone I’d met before I left Silver Creek.”

“Oh, I get it. He’s the something you needed a break from.”

“You could say that.” Jensen rubbed his hands together as he stared at the floor. “I feel bad for misleading. It wasn’t my intention. It’s just I didn’t think this other man would ever be what I needed, and I’m still not sure he ever will be.”

“Hey.” Ethan wrapped his fingers around his bicep and pulled him closer until Jensen’s head rested on Ethan’s chest. “Don’t worry about me. I get it. I know what it’s like to want something so bad that you’ll do anything to have it. I also know what it’s like to be let down.”

“You don’t hate me?” Jensen sat up, and Ethan’s brown eyes smiled back at him.

“No.” He shook his head. “We can still be friends, and you’re designing my house, so I hope that we can get past this little hiccup.”

“I think we already have.” Jensen leaned forward and kissed Ethan on the cheek. “Thanks for being so understanding and listening to me.”

“No problem.” Ethan patted him on the knee. “Did you say you were working on the plans for my house? Can I see what you got so far?”

Jensen hopped up and led Ethan into the kitchen. He showed him the designs he had come up with so far. All his drawings were still just rough drafts, but Ethan didn’t seem to care. He was happy with Jensen’s ideas and looked forward to seeing what the finished product would be.

An hour later he escorted Ethan to the front door. “Thanks for stopping by, and if you have anything you want me to add to the design just let me know.” Jensen held up a finger. “Let me give you the number to the house. Since I can’t find my phone, I want you to have this one just in case you need me.” He wrote the number down and handed it to Ethan.

“Thanks.” Ethan took the piece of paper and turned toward the front door then stopped to face Jensen. “I’ve got some things to do in town, and if you want we can get a drink together later.” He held up his hands when Jensen opened his mouth to say no. “Just as friends. You’re the only person I know here, and I thought it would be fun. A good way to take our minds off stuff.”

Jensen’s face scrunched up as he debated on what he should do. He liked Ethan but also didn’t want to give the man false hope. “Not tonight. Maybe another time.”

“Okay, but if you change your mind just give me a call.”

They said their good-byes, and Ethan walked to his car. Jensen stood in the doorway and watched until the man’s car vanished out of sight. A drink did sound nice, but he had to be here when Josh came back, because he would. He had to. Josh had said they were mates, and that sounded like a big deal.

“He’ll come back. I know he will,” Jensen whispered to himself as he stared out over the yard.

* * * *

Three hours later and still no sign of Josh. He was so distracted with thoughts of Josh he had given up on working. All he could think about was Josh and where he could be. His mind raced with images of the man he cared for lying at the side of the road dead or dying. Or that Josh had left him for good and would never come back. And the worst thought of all was that Josh was with someone else trying to forget him.

Jensen tore the house apart looking for his phone but couldn’t find the damn thing. He paced back and forth from the living room to the front door. His hands itched to punch something, but the logical part of his brain kept telling him that would be a bad idea. Without the use of his hands he couldn’t work, and that would only hurt him.

“Fuck it!” Jensen stormed into the kitchen and picked up the phone and dialed Ethan’s number.

“Jensen,” Ethan’s low drawl came over the line. “Change your mind?”

“I have.” He balled up his fist and banged it on the counter. “Is the offer still open?”

“You know it. Meet me at the Golden Horn Saloon in about an hour.”

“See you then.” Jensen hung up the phone and went into his bedroom. He ripped off his T-shirt and pulled out a short-sleeved black button-down shirt then headed for the back door.

The Golden Horn Saloon was the only country-themed bar in Southaven. It had a live band almost every night and a mechanical bull that patrons could ride. Not that he’d ever tried, but it was fun to watch.

The whole way there he kept looking toward the sides of the road for any signs of Josh. As he neared town he gave up any hope of spotting the man. He just had to get over Josh because the man was gone and not coming back.

Jensen parked his car and went into the bar. He had arrived early and had no problems drinking by himself until Ethan arrived. Jensen took a seat at the end of the bar and waved down the bartender. He ordered a shot of whiskey and a beer and told the man to run him a tab and to keep the drinks coming.

The bartender came back with his drinks, and Jensen snatched up the whisky and downed it in one gulp. It burned as it ran down the back of his throat. He picked up the beer and drank it down in three swallows. He raised the bottle in his hand, indicating to the bartender to bring him another round.

Two shots and two beers later, Ethan still hadn’t shown, but Jensen didn’t care. The alcohol had begun to numb his body but not his mind. Images of Josh’s face flashed like strobe lights every time he closed his eyes.

Jensen thumped the empty bottle on the wood countertop and ordered drink number three. One way or another he was going to forget Josh, if just for tonight.

Every now and again he’d see a tall man with short blond hair out of the corner of his eye, but when he turn around to look, disappointment burned in his chest. He tossed back the next shot and gave a shake of his head. They were going down easier now, but his mind hadn’t shut off.

What he said to Josh about being good at running wasn’t fair. Yes, he ran away from his brothers after their father had died, but Jensen couldn’t fault the man for acting out at the death of his only living parent.

Jensen hated himself for what he said to Josh, but the man had pushed his buttons with his total disregard for the sex that could be shared between them. Saying because he was bigger and stronger meant that he was the more dominant one just rubbed Jensen the wrong way. Josh had never been in a relationship with another man before and had no clue what sex between them would be like, so him saying that he’d never let Jensen fuck him was ridiculous. Maybe Josh would love it, but Jensen would have to be sure to remove the stick jammed up Josh’s ass before he put his dick in.

He brought the beer bottle to his lips then lowered it. Laughter bubbled up his chest and out his mouth. The next thing he knew he was doubled over in hysterics. All he wanted to do was drink and forget about Josh, but it seemed the more he drank the more Josh saturated his thoughts.

“What’s so funny?”

Jensen looked up to see Ethan standing beside him. He looked larger than life from where Jensen sat on his barstool. The man’s dark-brown gaze raked over him then a smile curled his thin upper lip. God, two weeks ago Jensen would have dropped to his knees and sucked the guy off, but now just the thought of messing around with Ethan soured his stomach to the point that he thought he might puke.

“Love.” The word came out slurred. “Just when you think you’ve found the one, he shits all over it.” He swung his arm out in front of him, and Ethan took a step back.

“Everything okay over here?” the bartender asked.

Jensen opened his mouth to tell the man no, that his heart was bleeding and that he better get a mop to clean up the mess, but Ethan cut him off. “Yes, we’re great. Can you have the waitress bring us another round? I’ll have whatever he’s having.”