The India Fan (5 page)

ecause I have paid for my possession.

ow do you pay?

paid with my life happiness.

houldn you throw the fan away?

She shook her head. o. One must never do that. To do so is to pass on the curse.

he curse!This was getting more and more fantastic. It seemed even wilder than my father version of the maiden being turned into a white cow.

hy?I asked.

ecause it is written.

ho wrote it?

She shook her head and I went on, ow can a feather fan be unlucky? It is, after all, only a fan, and who could harm the one who had it? The peacock whose feathers it was must be dead a long time ago.

ou have not been in India, my child. Strange things happen there. I have seen men in bazaars charm poisonous snakes and make them docile. I have seen what is called the Rope Trick when a seer will make a rope stand on end without support and a little boy climb it. If you were in India you would believe these things. Here people are too materialistic; they are not in tune with the mystic. If I had never had that fan I should be a happy wife and mother.

hy do you watch me? Why do you send for me and tell me all this?

ecause you have had the fan in your possession. You have been its owner. The ill luck could touch you. I want you to take care.

never thought for an instant that it was mine. I just took it for a while because Fabian commanded me to take it. That was all. It was just a game.

I thought: She is mad. How can a fan be evil? How could someone turn a woman into a white cow? My father seemed to believe this though, which was extraordinary. At least he talked as though he believed it. But then the Greeks were more real to him than his own household.

ow can you be sure that the fan is unlucky?I asked.

ecause of what happened to me.She turned to me and fixed her tragic eyes on me, but they seemed to be staring past me as though she were seeing something which was not in this room.

was so happy,she said. erhaps it is a mistake to be so happy. It is tempting the fates. Gerald was wonderful. I met him in Delhi. Our families have interests there. They thought it would be good for me to go out for a while. There is a good social life among the English and the members of the Company that is, the East India Company, and we were involved in that. So were Gerald and his family. That was why he was out there. He was so handsome and so charming there could never have been anyone like him. We were in love with each other from the first day we met.

She turned to smile at me. ou are too young to understand, my child. It was perfect. His family were pleased so were mine. There was no reason why we should not be married. Everyone was delighted when we announced our engagement. My family gave a ball to celebrate the occasion. It was really glittering. I wish I could describe India to you, my dear. It was a wonderful life we had. Who would have guessed that there was a tragedy waiting to spring up on us? It came suddenly like a thief in the night, as it says in the Bible, I believe. So it came to me.

as it because of the fan?I asked tremulously.

h, the fan. How young we were! How innocent of life! We went to the bazaar together, for when we were officially engaged that was allowed. It was wonderful. Bazaars are so fascinating, though I was always a little afraid of them, though not with Gerald, of course. It was thrilling the snake charmers the streets the strange music the pungent smell that is India. Goods to sell beautiful silks and ivory and strange things to eat. It was exciting. And as we went along we saw the man selling fans. I was instantly struck by them. ow lovely they are!I cried. Gerald said, hey are very pretty. You must have one.I remember the man who sold them. He was badly crippled. He could not stand up. He sat on a mat. I remember the way he smiled at us. I did not notice it then, but afterwards it came back to me. It was evil. Gerald unfurled the fan and I took it. It was doubly precious to me because he had given it to me. Gerald laughed at my delight in it. He held my arm tightly. People looked at us as we passed along. I suppose it was because we looked happy. Back in my room I opened the fan. I put it on a table so that I could see it all the time. When my Indian servant came in, she stared at it in horror. She said, eacock-feather fan Oh no, no, Missie Lucille they bring evil You must not keep it here.I answered, on be silly. My fiance gave it to me and I shall always treasure it for that reason. It is his first gift to me.She shook her head and covered her face with her hands as though to shut out the sight of it. Then she said, will take it back to the man who sold it to you . . though now it has been yours the evil is there but perhaps a small evil.I thought she was crazy and I wouldn let her touch it.

She stopped speaking and the tears began to run down her cheeks.

loved the fan,she went on after a while. t was the first thing he gave me after our engagement. When I awoke in the morning it was the first thing I saw. Always, I told myself, I will remember that moment in the bazaar when he bought it for me. He laughed at my obsession with it. I did not know it then, but I do now. It had already cast its spell on me. t is only a fan,said Gerald. hy do you care so much for it?I told him why and he went on, hen I will make it more worthy of your regard. I shall have something precious put in it, and every time you see it you will be reminded of how much I care for you.

e said he would take it to a jeweller he knew in Delhi. The man was a craftsman. When I received the fan back it would indeed be something to be proud of. I was delighted and so happy. I ought to have known happiness like that does not last. He took the fan and went into the centre of the town. I have never forgotten that day. Every second of it it is engraved on my memory forever. He went into the jeweller shop. He was there quite a long time. And when he came out they were waiting for him. There was often trouble. The Company kept it under control, but there were always the mad ones. They didn see what good we were bringing to their country. They wanted us out. Gerald family was important in the country as my family was. He was well known among them. When he came out of the jeweller they shot him. He died there in the street.

hat a sad story. I am so sorry, Miss Lucille,I said.

y dear child, I see you are. You are a good child. I am sorry you took the fan.

ou believe all that was due to the fan?

t was because of the fan that he was in that spot. I shall never forget the look in my servant eyes. Somehow those people have a wisdom we lack. How I wish I had never seen that fan never gone into the bazaar that morning. How blithe and gay I had been and my foolish impulse had taken his life and ruined mine.

t could have happened somewhere else.

o, it was the fan. You see, he had taken it into the jeweller shop. They must have followed him and waited for him outside.

think it could have happened without the fan.

She shook her head. n time it came back to me. I will show you what was done.She sat there for a few moments with the tears coursing down her cheeks. Ayesha came in.

here, there,she said. ou shouldn have brought it all back to yourself. Dearie me, dearie me, it is not good, little mistress not good.

yesha,she said. ring the fan to me.

Ayesha said, o forget it Do not distress yourself.

ring it, please, Ayesha.

So she brought it.

ee, child, this is what he did for me. One has to know how to move this panel. You see. There is a little catch here. The jeweller was a great craftsman.She pulled back the panel on the mount of the fan to disclose a brilliant emerald surrounded by smaller diamonds. I caught my breath. It was so beautiful.

t is worth a small fortune, they tell me, as if to console me. As if anything could. But it was his gift to me. That is why the fan is precious.

ut if it is going to bring you bad luck

t has done that. It can bring me no more. Ayesha, put it back. There. I have told you because, briefly, the fan was yours. You must walk more carefully than most. You are a good child. There. Go and rejoin Lavinia now. I have done my duty. Be on your guard with Fabian. You see, he will take some of the blame. Perhaps because you were in possession of it for such a short time it will pass over you. And he, too, would not be considered free of blame

Ayesha said, t is time to leave now.

She took me to the door and walked with me along the corridors.

ou must not take too much notice of what she says,she told me. he is very sad and her mind wanders. It was the terrible shock, you understand. Do not worry about what you have heard. Perhaps I should not have brought you to her, but she wanted it. She could not rest until she had talked to you. It is off her mind now. You understand?

es, I understand.

And I said to myself: What happened made her mad.

And the thought of the ghostly nun in the east wing and the mad woman in the west made the house seem more and more fascinating to me.

As time passed I ceased to think about the peacock-feather fan and to wonder what terrible things might befall me because it had once been in my possession. I still visited the House; the governesses remained friendly; and my relationship with Lavinia had changed a little. I might still be plain and invited because I was the only girl in the neighbourhood of Lavinia age and my station in life was not too lowly for me to be dismissed entirely, but I was gaining a little superiority over Lavinia because, while she was exceptionally pretty, I was more clever. Miss York boasted a little to Miss Etherton and on one occasion when Miss Etherton was ill, Miss York went over to the House to take her place until she recovered; and then the gap between myself and Lavinia was exposed. That did a lot for me and was not without its effect on Lavinia.

I was growing up. I was no longer to be put upon. I even threatened not to go to the House if Lavinia did not mend her ways; and it was obvious that that was something she did not want. We had become closerven allies, when the occasion warranted it. I might be plain, but I was clever. She might be beautiful, but she could not think and invent as I could; and she relied on mehough she would not admit ito take the lead.

Occasionally I saw Fabian. He came home for holidays and sometimes brought friends with him. They always ignored us, but I began to notice that Fabian was not so oblivious of my presence as he would have us believe. Sometimes I caught his furtive glance on me. I supposed it was due to that adventure long ago when I was a baby and he had kidnapped me.

It was whispered now that Miss Lucille was mad. Mrs. Janson was very friendly with the cook at the House, so, as she said, she had it traight from the horse mouth.Polly was like a jackdaw. She seized on every bit of dazzling gossip and stored it up so that she could, as she said, iece things together a treat.

We used to talk about the House often, for Polly seemed as fascinated about it as I was.

he old lady mad,she said. ot a doubt of it. Never been right in her head since she lost her lover out in India. People must expect trouble if they go to these outlandish places. It turned Miss Lucille head, all right. Mrs. Bright says she taken to wandering about the House now ordering them around like they was black servants. It all comes of going to India. Why people can stay at home, I don know. She thinks she still in India. It all that Ayesha can do to look after her. And she got another black servant there.

hat Imam. He comes from India too. I think she brought him with her when she came home with Ayesha, of course.

ives me the creeps. Them outlandish clothes and black eyes and talking a sort of gibberish.

t not gibberish, Polly. It their own language.

hy didn she have a nice British couple to look after her? Then there that haunted room and something about a nun. Love trouble there, too. I don know. I think love something to keep away from, if you ask me.

ou didn feel like that when you had Tom.

ou can find men like my Tom two a penny, I can tell you.

ut everyone hopes you can. That why they fall in love.

oue getting too clever, my girl. Look at our Eff.

s he still as bad?

Polly just clicked her tongue.

Oddly enough, after that conversation, there was news of Him. Apparently he had been suffering, as Polly said, from hestfor some time. I remember the day when news came that he was dead.

Polly was deeply shocked. She wasn sure what this was going to mean to Eff.

l have to go up for the funeral,she said. fter all, youe got to show a bit of respect.

ou didn have much for him when he was alive,I pointed out.

t different when people are dead.

hy?

h, you and your hysand hats.It just is that all.

olly,I said. hy can I come to the funeral with you.

She stared at me in amazement.

ou! Eff wouldn expect that.

ell, let surprise her.

Polly was silent. I could see she was turning the idea over in her mind.

ell,she said at length, t would show respect.

I learned that respect was a very necessary part of funerals.

e have to ask your father,she announced at length.

e wouldn notice whether I had gone or not.

ow that not the way to speak about your father.

hy not, if it the truth? And I like it that way. I wouldn want him taking a real interest. Il tell him.

He did look a little startled when I mentioned it.

He put his hands up to his spectacles, which he expected to have on his head. They weren there, and he looked helpless, as though he couldn possibly deal with the matter until he found them. They were, fortunately, on his desk, and I promptly brought them to him.

t Polly sister and it shows respect,I told him.

hope this does not mean she will want to leave us.

eave us!The idea had not occurred to me. f course she won want to leave us.

he might want to live with her sister.

h no,I cried. ut I think I ought to go to this funeral.

t could be a morbid affair. The working classes make a great deal of them spending money they can ill afford.

want to go, Father. I want to see her sister. She always talking about her.