The Infamous Ratsos

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Authors: Kara LaReau

BOOK: The Infamous Ratsos
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Contents

Hang Tough

Hats Off

The Snow Job

The Fluffy Special

The Porcupini Window

“He Did It”

Tough Enough

This is Louie Ratso.
This is Ralphie Ratso.

The Ratso brothers live in the Big City. They live in this apartment with their father, Big Lou.

“There are two kinds of people in this world,” Big Lou likes to say. “Those who are tough, and those who are soft.”

Big Lou is tough, tough, tough. He drives a truck and a forklift and sometimes a snowplow. He hardly ever smiles.

As for the Ratso brothers’ mother, she’s been gone for a little while now, which is very sad. The Ratso brothers don’t like to think about Mama Ratso. Big Lou doesn’t like to think about Mama Ratso either.

“Hang tough,” he grumbles each morning as he leaves for work, slamming the door behind him.

After Big Lou
leaves for work each morning, the Ratso brothers go to school. Louie is in the fifth grade and Ralphie is in third. They walk to school, because walking is tough. Taking the bus is for softies.

The Ratso brothers don’t talk very much on their way to school. Talking a lot is also for softies. Their father hardly ever talks at all. Big Lou is a man of action, not words.

“Let’s do something,” Louie says to Ralphie. “Something to make us
look
tough.”

“Like what?” Ralphie asks.

“Leave the thinking to me,” says Louie. He considers himself the smart one.

At recess, Louie and Ralphie meet on the playground. They lean against the wall and glare at everyone and take turns spitting on the blacktop. Leaning and glaring and spitting are tough. Running and playing are for softies.

Chad Badgerton is wearing a new hat today. It is red, and it is too small for his head.

Louie has an idea.

“We’d look tough if we took Chad’s hat,” he suggests.

“Chad is bigger than we are,” Ralphie reminds him. “A
lot
bigger.”

“Well, there are two of us, and only one of him,” Louie says.

“Righto,” Ralphie says. He gives his brother a nod.

Ralphie distracts Chad while Louie jumps up and swipes the hat from his head.

“Hey!” cries Chad. “You can’t do that!”

“We just did,” shout the Ratso brothers. “Nyah-nyah!”

“I think I feel tougher,” says Ralphie.

“My head is about to feel warmer, that’s for sure,” says Louie. But before he can put on the hat, Tiny Crawley comes running over, along with Miss Beavers, the third-grade teacher.

“You rescued my hat!” Tiny exclaims. He takes it from Louie.


Your
hat?” say the Ratso brothers.

“Chad took it from me on the bus,” Tiny says. “He’s a big bully.”

“That was nice of you boys, sticking up for Tiny,” says Miss Beavers.

“We’re not nice, we’re TOUGH,” Louie tries to explain.

“Nyah-nyah!” Ralphie repeats.

But no one is listening. Instead, everyone on the playground is looking at the Ratso brothers like they’re heroes. Everyone except for Chad Badgerton, who is on his way to the principal’s office.

“I wish
we
were going to the principal’s office,” Ralphie says.

“We need to step up our game,” decides Louie.

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