The Invisible Husband (12 page)

Adam jumped to
his feet as someone knocked on the door. Eve? He unconsciously
tried to smooth down his short wild hair as he hurried to the door,
but he was disappointed before he reached the keyhole. “My Lord…”
It was just a servant. His shoulders slumped as he hissed a curse
on his ugly face. “…Her Ladyship…” Adam’s shoulders perked up as he
jerked open the door.

“Yes?”

“Her Ladyship,
who is eating breakfast in the formal dining room …” The servant
sounded like he was rehearsing a bad script. “…desires your
company. If you don’t wish to join her, she begs you to at least
condescend to look upon her and…to look upon her and
share…something about the air she’s breathing…or was it that she
wanted you to share her air?”

“Well which one
did she say? They have two completely different meanings.” Adam was
secretly hoping the latter was an invitation to drag her into some
dark corner and kiss her immediately.

“Forgive me my
Lord I was…uncommonly distracted…”

“There is no
excuse for not remembering a simple message. You’re a footman!
You’re paid to run errands and deliver messages not prance about as
decorative furnishing.”

“No my Lord. It
won’t happen again my Lord.”

“See that it
doesn’t.” As Adam looked his footman in the eye it suddenly
occurred to him that there was a way of walking up to his wife
without being seen. “Come in here and take off your clothes.”

“My Lord?” The
footman’s eyes filled with tears as he remembered the sight of his
master ferociously whipping the naked Mr Roberts the night before.
“I swear on my mother’s honour I’ll never forget a message
again.”

“Never mind
your mother, come in here and undress. I’m going to wear your
clothes and wait on my wife. I’ll need your shoes and wig as well,
I hope they fit. You may wear my trousers until I return.”

The footman
sighed in relief before eyeing his employer with a new expression
of wary concern. “Wouldn’t it be easier to walk into the dining
room and sit down at your table dressed as yourself my Lord?”

“If you were
madly in love with my wife and you looked like me, would you
saunter into the dining room and sit down knowing the sight of you
might make her choke to death on her breakfast?”

“No, but…”

“Then take off
your clothes! Until I return you can sit here and stare out the
window…that’s what I do.” Ten minutes later Adam was feeling like a
school boy as he raced towards the dining room in his tight
clothes. Passing the housekeep, she hissed a horrified command for
him to walk like a gentleman or loose his place. He silently
complied only to be berated in another hiss for walking like a
drunken duck. He was walking how he always walked. Cursing his
tight clothes, he slipped through the narrow opening into the
secret viewing room and climbed the ladder. Lifting up the painted
eyes, his heart sighed in blissful relief at being able to see its
Mistress in the flesh.

Adam’s black
brows rose in horror as he stared at her dress. His single eye
threatened to pop out of his head as he focused on her décolletage.
His mouth hung open as she looked up and seemed to meet his glance
with an amused smile. He’d barely made a sound. There was no way
she could know he was watching her. He slung the painted eyes back
into place and slid down the ladder. He had to have a closer look
and there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d wait till dark when the rest
of his footmen had already had the privilege of viewing his wife’s
charms.

His servants
were stunned to find their master dressed as a footman. It took
several minutes to silence the hysterical laughing maids and make
it clear he intended to wait on his wife dressed as a footman. He’d
never suspected his servants of being half-wits, but they all
stared at him with incomprehension. Several precious minutes of his
life were wasted trying to justify his apparent madness. All he
wanted was for them to explain to him what he needed to do to take
her next dish in; he wasn’t asking them to teach him calculus. But
they wouldn’t let him take the next dish in. Adam had to stand
inside the dining room next to the door and watch another footman
have the pleasure of admiring Eve’s low cut neckline. She didn’t
once look at the footman’s face, but he was finding it hard to care
if she saw his face or not. He was in the same room with her and
sunlight filled every corner. It was almost less painful than
sitting in self-isolated shadows wondering where she was and what
she was doing, except being able to see her made his heart increase
its ridiculous demands as if Adam could pick her up and take her
back to bed. If she looked at his face she’d know who he was. His
heart loudly defended its mistress with rapturous assurance that
she would never hurt him, but his head flatly refuted the claims.
If she saw his face in full daylight before she loved him, she’d
break his heart.

Eve’s request
for chocolate meant it was time to approach the table; Adam’s knees
trembled as he carried in the silver chocolate pot behind the other
footman carrying in a cup and saucer. All he had to do was fill the
cup and put the pot where she could reach for it if she wished. On
reaching her side he was so enthralled by the sight of her charms
his servant had to cough three times before Adam remembered why he
was standing there. He filled her cup with a shaking hand and
silently cursed his co-worker who unhelpfully whispered they were
training a new footman. “Oh? What’s his name?” She started to look
in Adam’s direction as he gave his footman the evil eye and
mouthed, ‘do something’.

“My Lady…?”
Adam sighed in relief as air filled his lungs. Her eyes were turned
back to his accomplice. “Lord Latham has a rule that new footmen
are to be called John. When we become proficient His Lordship
allows us to be addressed by our Christian names.”

“Why does he do
that?”

Adam was eyeing
his footman in horror as the man swam into deeper waters dragging
his unwitting master with him. “When we know our place, the house
runs smoother my Lady.”

“Is he very
keen on it? I find that rather confusing. Why would he want to call
you John for several months and then switch to your real name?”

“The reasoning
of a Lord is beyond me my Lady.”

“You’re not the
only one…has his Lordship left his library?”

“I believe so
Madam.”

“I thought so.”
She raised her voice for no apparent reason. “Would you find Lord
Latham and tell him…tell him I hope he’s having a pleasurable
morning? Tell him I’d like to know what he thinks of my dress.”

“Consider it
done my Lady.” Adam followed the other man’s lead and bowed before
following the man from the room.

As soon as they
stepped out of sight of the door Adam snarled, “Did you have to
make me sound like some sort of petty tyrant? I’ve never heard
anything so stupid.”

“Would you have
preferred if I’d said your name was Adam or Latham? You pay me to
serve you not to play charades…my Lord.”

“You could have
said my name was John and left it at that.”

“I did my best
and since you wish to play the role of footman I’m going to have to
tell you off so please don’t sack me.” The footman’s eyes gleamed
with pleasure as he half shouted, “You imbecile! I showed you three
times how to pour a cup of chocolate and I expect you to do it
perfectly. If you perform such a sloppy service for Lord Latham
he’ll give you a tongue lashing and possibly the boot. How many
times do I have to tell you not to spill hot liquids onto polished
wood? Be careful or you’ll be shown the door without a reference.”
The man lowered his voice back to a whisper. “Do you still wish to
be a footman my Lord?”

Adam hadn’t
felt so incompetent in decades. “Yes. What do I do now?”

“Go write her a
note from yourself answering her questions and afterwards I’ll
explain how to deliver it.”

Adam flushed
deep red. All he could remember was the sight of perfect breasts
barely covered by a scrap of silk serving as a bodice. “What were
her questions?”

“She wishes to
know if you’re having a pleasurable morning and what you think of
her dress…what little there is of it. Do you require assistance in
writing the note?”

“No.” Adam
turned and slowly started for the closest room he could think of
that had ink and paper.

“Hurry up man!
Her Ladyship wishes to have her questions answered today…”

Eve sipped her
chocolate as she waited for Adam’s reply. She knew he’d left his
library; she’d felt him watching her. The episode with the footmen
was forgotten as she imagined her husband’s reaction to her dress.
If the ogling footmen were anything to go by her husband would be
appalled. If he demanded she change her dress she’d counter it with
a demand that he go through her wardrobe and find one he thought
wearable. He’d discover that the two dresses she’d worn the
previous days were the only decent ones her mother had allowed. The
rest were mostly thin and clingy silks cut uncomfortably low in the
bodice. Her mother had insisted they’d entrance Eve’s new Lord.
Eve’s initial fury at being trussed up like a wanton had mellowed
into amusement as she imagined her demon-Lord ogling her exposed
flesh. She giggled as she heard the double footsteps enter the
dining room and cross to her chair. She was about to find out her
husband’s reaction.

The senior
footman stopped at her right holding a silver tray with a folded
piece of paper while the new footman stood facing forward on her
left holding something that looked like a folded shawl. “His
Lordship’s reply my Lady.”

Eve took the
letter off the tray and smiled at the footman. “Thank you…what is
your name?”

“Davis my
Lady.”

“Thank you
Davis…” The single piece of paper was only folded in four.

My Heart,

I envy the
chair you’re sitting in, the cup you just pressed to your lips, the
fabric caressing your skin. You must be freezing in that thin
dress. I hope you’ll accept this shawl with my compliments and wear
it as a reminder that my arms ache to hold you. Curse my ugly face,
I wish it was nightfall!

Adam and his
panting heart

Eve sighed with
pleasure and tucked the folded note into a pocket. “Davis…?”

“Yes my
Lady?”

“How did you
find Lord Latham? Did he look well?”

Davis glanced
across at his glum fellow footman as if for help. “I don’t think
he’s in very good spirits today my Lady.”

“What’s wrong
with him? Is he ill? Is he upset?”

“I fear I’m
inadequately educated to make a guess my Lady.”

“Did he ask
about me?”

Davis once
again glanced at his fellow servant. “I don’t think his Lordship
would be satisfied with a second hand account my Lady.”

“Well said
Davis…where is he?”

“I couldn’t say
my Lady.”

“Would you find
Lord Latham and tell him, ‘I don’t care if you look like Herbert or
the devil.’ He’ll know what I mean.”

“Consider it
done my Lady.”

“It is rather
cold in here. John, if you’ll be so good as to drape His Lordship’s
shawl around my shoulders?” Eve felt her spine tingle as the large
silk Indian shawl enveloped her like a blanket of love that
conveniently covered her charms. “Thank you John. Oh Davis, I
overheard you reprimanding John.” She glanced up at the beautiful
unhappy profile on her left and was struck by the impression that
it was oddly familiar, that she’d seen it hundreds of times before.
She shook the thought from her mind and turned her attention to
Davis. “We are not all good at learning new things quickly. John
looks rather old to be starting as a footman. Life has doubtless
given him a few blows; be hard on him if you must, but try not to
call him names. I wouldn’t want to be called stupid, would
you?”

“No my
Lady…”

“Good, that
will be all.” The servants were forgotten as she unpinned the green
eye from her dress and stared at it. The real eye was no longer
watching her; he’d probably gone back to the library and locked the
door. His love note was a promise of future kisses, but her heart
didn’t want to wait. It ignored her silent rebuffs and continued
calling for its new Master. If she couldn’t be held in his arms she
decided the next best thing was to return to his bedchamber. She
could lie on his bed and stare at the large painting of Adam and
Eve and think about him. Her heart agreed with the plan and urged
her to hurry; he might visit his chamber and find her there. He
might give into temptation and kiss her. She abruptly left the
table and hurried upstairs wondering if a servant would let her
into her husband’s room if the demon had closed up her end of the
secret passage.

…

Eve passed by
her bed with a shiver of disgust. The pink and white stripes seemed
to gleam with a sinister shine as if the evil Mr Roberts had left
an imprint of his soul on her bed curtains. Thankfully no one had
closed her secret door. As she moved into the darkness she heard a
faint moaning that made her heart jump in hope. Was Adam in his
room? His end of the secret passage was closed. Bumping against the
door she put her ear to the door. The moaning had stopped. “Adam?”
Knocking on the thin piece of wood she listened carefully for a
whispered reply. “Adam? Are you ill? May I come in? I can’t wait
‘till nightfall.” The silence was either an emphatic no or her
demon-husband was unconscious and bleeding to death. She knocked
one more time. What if he was dying and she was standing there
asking him if he was ill? Her heart found that reason enough to
panic. It was several minutes before she could find the release
mechanism with her shaking hand. The door slid open and she leapt
into the room looking at the floor for a body. Her eyes jerked off
the empty rug to the footman sitting on the edge of the bed, left
elbow resting on his leg as his head rested in his left hand. The
familiar beautiful profile fractionally started in her direction
and then slowly turned away. His shoulders slumped in resignation
as he audibly moaned in horror at being found.