The Italian's Secretary Bride (10 page)

He gave a wolfish grin. ‘I think you know I haven't, Alice, but if you feel you could further my education…?'

‘Did I somehow give you the idea I was interested in how many notches you have in your bedpost?' Or that I'd want to be one of them?

‘Not up until now, no.'

It wasn't until the cushion fell from her nerveless fingers to her feet that she was aware she had been standing there, for God knew how long, staring at him.

‘My God, you really do love yourself, don't you?' she choked.

‘I'm a self-sufficient sort of guy.' The mocking light died from his eyes. ‘But as much as I like talking about me…'

‘You don't,' she inserted, surprise at her discovery reflected in her expression. Despite his celebrity status, what did she actually know about the
real
Luca? Giving a little was what he did to stop people looking any deeper.

‘We have that much in common, it would seem, but like they say sometimes it's good to talk and I think you need to…I'm here…'

Alice looked at the hands he held palm up in front of her. After a fractional pause she laid her own hands on top of them.

Now why did I do that?

His long, lean fingers, very brown against her own, tightened as he drew her forward. She must have responded because moments later she found herself sitting on the bed. Luca was on his feet.

‘You talk, I'll listen.' When a mulish expression spread across her face he added simply, ‘You talk to me or you talk to Roman. The choice is yours.'

Alice took a deep breath and simulated an interest in her shoes. ‘I get flashbacks to the…a…attack.'

A stunned silence followed her stuttering admission.

‘And that is what occurred earlier?'

She nodded.

‘What form do these flashbacks take?' There was no discernible inflection in his voice.

‘I don't get them any more…' Her mouth twisted. ‘Or I didn't,' she corrected, lifting her head. ‘I see the knife…I feel powerless.' She swallowed and closed her eyes. ‘But it tends to be muddled,' she added, wrapping her arms tight across her middle as a shudder ran through her body.

‘Here.' She looked up surprised as Luca placed a wrap that had been draped over a chair across her hunched bare shoulders. ‘I get the feeling you're leaving a lot out.'

The blood, the noise of the ambulance, the hospital smell and the lights in the corridor shining in her eyes and Luca…

‘But essentially we're talking a post-traumatic disorder? I have a friend who resigned his army commission because of it,' he added in response to her startled expression.

‘Did he, your friend…did he get better?'

Luca studied her upturned features. ‘You've never met the guy, but you really care, don't you?'

‘Anybody would care.'

Luca shook his head and looked at the top of her fair head. ‘Actually, no, they wouldn't. Martin is fully recovered and in his element running an Outward Bound centre for executives who want to bond while building rafts. You said that it had stopped.' She nodded. ‘What made it happen again tonight? Was…was it something I did?' he suggested.

‘Something you did?' She was genuinely startled by the suggestion. ‘No, of course not. It was the perfume,' she explained.

He looked at her blankly.

‘Smells can be very evocative,' she told him.

A flicker of something she couldn't identify moved at the back of his dramatic eyes. ‘I know.'

She nodded. ‘The literature I read explained that things trigger the attacks sometimes…a sound…a word…
smells
. I had some perfume as a present—I started using it just before the first attack.'

His jaw clenched. ‘The stalker was wearing it?'

Alice nodded.

'Dio!'
he exclaimed, looking shaken.

‘It wasn't a very nice perfume really. It was too heavy for me—' she tried to joke.

‘Who else knows about this?' he cut in, scanning her face.

She shook her head. ‘Nobody.'

Unbelievable!
It was unbelievable that she should cope with that alone. Nobody there when the nightmares came. Nobody to share her fears with. Luca decided he must have misunderstood.

‘You've coped with this all alone? But your family knew?'

‘You have no idea how upset they were when I was in hospital. I couldn't put them through that again.' Her slender shoulders lifted. ‘It was my problem.'

His unblinking appraisal began to make Alice feel unaccountably guilty. She tilted her chin.

'All right?'
She immediately regretted the belligerent outburst; it made it sound as though she needed his approval for her actions.

A hissing sound of exasperation escaped through his clenched teeth. ‘There is self-sufficient and then again there is bloody stubborn. Do I need to say which heading you fall under? If one of your family was in trouble would you want them to lick their wounds alone in a corner? Or would you want them to turn to you for help? Didn't it occur to you that they would be very hurt if they thought you couldn't come to them when you needed support?'

‘I don't like a fuss,' she protested weakly.

He rubbed his index finger along the frown line between his brows as though he was trying to figure something out. His eyes narrowed as they focused on her face. ‘Alone? You said Roman doesn't know about this?'

‘No, and I'd like it to stay that way,' she told him quickly.

Luca shook his head incredulously. ‘
Madre di Dio
. How is that possible?' he demanded.

‘I didn't tell him.'

‘Why the hell not?'

The only part of his body moving was the muscle along his jaw, which was pulsing. His stillness had an explosive quality to it.

‘Isn't it obvious?' She really couldn't see what he was getting so het up about.

‘Not to me.'

‘Your brother thinks it's his fault I got hurt in the first place. He feels guilty.' She sighed—from his blank expression it seemed that she was going to have to point out the obvious…Luca wasn't normally slow on the uptake. ‘If he knew about this he'd feel simply terrible! You have no idea how he was afterwards; if I'd asked for him to write me a blank cheque he would have.'

Luca unclenched one white-knuckled fist and dragged it through his dark hair. ‘So the secrecy is to protect Roman from feeling “simply terrible”.'

‘He may not show it, but the whole thing was
awful
for him,' she told him reproachfully.

‘I hate to be the one to break this to you, Alice, but my brother is not a sensitive little flower. He's a big boy now. But then you've already noticed that, haven't you?'

‘I've already told you I don't think of Roman that way,' she retorted primly.

‘And do you think of me that way?' Their eyes collided and the raw sexual hunger stamped on his hard, dark features made her mind go blank.

Alice looked at the floor, but she only managed to resist the draw of his earthy masculinity for a matter of seconds before her head lifted. She swallowed to lubricate her vocal cords. ‘I try not to think of you at all,' she admitted hoarsely.

‘Do you succeed?'

Her face twisted in an anguished mask. ‘Luca,' she begged. ‘Don't do this.'

‘You do think about me, don't you? Maybe as much as I think about you.' His eyes burned into hers and her heart skipped several beats. ‘I think about you in your modest skirts and sensible shoes. The silk shirts, do you buy them in bulk?'

‘I…I…' The fact that Luca could recite what she wore to work so accurately was another amazing revelation on a night when revelations were the norm. ‘You're very observant.'

His lips twisted. ‘Yes, aren't I? But you're not wearing your pearls tonight.' An abstracted expression slid across his face as his restless blue glance came to rest on the pulse spot at the base of her throat.

Agonisingly conscious of her own body, Alice lifted her hand in a protective gesture. ‘They didn't go with this outfit. They were my grandmother's.' And he really wanted to know this. ‘I don't know whether she was right, but she always said you should wear pearls or they lose their sheen.' Her voice faded to a whisper in face of his slow-burning, dangerous smile.

‘Their sheen fades into insignificance beside your skin.'

Alice swallowed. ‘Don't say things like that.'

He tilted his head to an arrogant angle. ‘Why not?'

‘If you had an ounce of sensitivity you wouldn't ask and I wouldn't need to tell you.'

Luca's tall loose-limbed frame grew taut. Like a man who had just completed a marathon, he was breathing hard and deep. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest had a hypnotic quality.

‘I may not be sensitive but I think I'd have noticed you've been to hell and back over the last few years if you'd been working for me,' he revealed, grinding one clenched fist into the palm of the other.

Alice, watching him with wide eyes, was acutely conscious at that moment of what a physically powerful man he was. Shaken and excited, she lowered her smoky eyes.

‘He must be blind!' The exclamation emerged like a pistol shot.

Eyes fixed on her clasped hands, Alice heard the sound of footsteps as he paced across the room and then back.

‘Who?' she asked, bewildered.

‘How could he not notice? If tonight was anything to go by it's hardly the sort of thing you can hide.'

‘You mean Roman?'

‘Who else?'

‘Roman doesn't watch me like a hawk waiting for me to do something he can sneer at,' she countered defensively.

‘I don't sneer,' he denied immediately.

‘Luca, you could give a master class in sneering,' she told him when she had stopped laughing bitterly.

An abstracted expression slid into his eyes as they travelled the length of her body. ‘You must be accustomed to being watched.'

‘Are you suggesting I'm an attention seeker?'

‘I'm saying you're an extremely beautiful woman,' he rebutted in a husky drawl that vibrated through her body.

Heart beating fast, she looked away from the heat in his smouldering eyes. ‘Well, Roman did notice something once or twice,' she admitted. ‘But I told him it was a migraine.'

‘And he swallowed that?'

‘There was no reason for him not to.'

‘Because you never lie to him.'

His sardonic drawl brought a flush to her cheeks. ‘There's no need to be facetious. I suppose
you've
never been economical with the truth.'

His eyes narrowed. ‘I'm not sure you could cope with the truth.'

‘Try me.'

‘Every time I see you wearing one of those provocative silk shirts buttoned up to the neck…I want to…'

‘They're not provocative,' she protested.

‘They provoke me.'

‘I don't button my shirt up to the neck.'

‘Don't be pedantic, woman.'

‘What do you want, Luca? To call the fashion police and have me arrested?'

‘I want to watch you take it off for me. That's what I've always wanted.'

A
LICE
froze. Every cell in her body just came to a dead stop for the space of several heartbeats. When things began functioning again she started to shake.

‘Always…?' She shook her head from side to side in a negative motion.

Luca nodded.

A wispy little sigh emerged from her lips. ‘You never said so,' she whispered.

His glittering eyes were filled with self-mockery as they settled hungrily on her face. ‘I thought I'd be treading on Roman's toes. Would it have made a difference if I had?' he challenged, scanning her flushed face.

‘We'll never know now, will we?'

He sucked in a deep breath. ‘We could still find out?' he suggested thickly.

Alice swallowed. ‘How?'

Luca held out his hand and she took it. Holding her eyes, he pulled her to her feet.

‘Where do we go from here?' she asked.

‘Let's play it by ear, shall we,
cara
. Does that suit you?'

She looked directly into the feverish blue glitter of his eyes and swallowed.
Suit me!
The driving desire for him crowded every other thought from her head. Relentless flames of lust licked her body, hardening her nipples to tight, aching buds, melting the secret core of her. Making her ache.

Breathing hard, she caught her lower lip between her teeth. Then she admitted in a throaty whisper, ‘Anything you want suits me.'

The blood rushed to Luca's face as a hoarse, incredulous groan escaped through his clenched teeth.

‘I want you.'

‘Luca…' she moaned.

As he took her face between his big hands his intent was clearly written in the lean, darkly dangerous lines of his face and the suffocating heat in his smouldering eyes.

Her own breathing had become painfully irregular; her hand went in a fluttery motion to her throat to loosen constricting clothing only to find bare skin exposed by the low-cut gown she was wearing.

The movement momentarily diverted Luca, who took hold of her wrist and unpeeled her tightly clenched fingers one by one.

Like petals of a flower.

As Luca touched his warm lips to the centre of her exposed palm his heavy lids lifted, revealing eyes as hot as an Italian summer sky. Alice couldn't tear her eyes away from the mesmeric heat.

She heard a raw half-sob escape from her throat; it was closely followed by a throaty purr of male satisfaction.

He took her hand and laid it against his chest. Alice's eyes widened to their fullest extent as she looked at her own hand, pale by comparison to the dark fingers that imprisoned it.

‘This is crazy.' It's my lips moving but whose is that voice? she wondered, hearing the throaty whisper.

Luca's hand fell away but her own stayed in place against his chest. The heat of his hard body was seeping into her stiff fingers; she could feel the slow, steady vibration of his heartbeat through her splayed fingertips.

‘Crazy is good,' he told her.

She nodded her head. ‘Kiss me, Luca; I'd really like you to kiss me.'

‘Tell me you want me first. I want to hear you say you want me.'

Want…!
It was possible that she had never wanted anything more in her life than she wanted this! She wanted to know what his lips felt like against her skin; she wanted to know the taste of him, the heat, the hard male strength of him. The depth of her sheer wanting made her head spin.

‘Luca, I want you.'

Anticipation made Alice shake; her breath came in a series of short, shallow gasps as she felt his tantalising tongue slide between her parted lips. Her insides turned to warm molten honey as he slowly probed the moist recesses. As the deep, drugged kiss lengthened she stretched upward, her slender back arching as she strove to increase the erotic penetration, and Luca cupped the back of her head with his hand.

When the kiss stopped they remained as they were with his head to one side so that their noses touched, his forehead resting against her own. Alice felt his breath fan the downy skin of her cheeks.

‘Bella mia,'
he rasped throatily, running his thumb along the swollen curve of her lower lip before tugging the tender skin sensually with his teeth.

Alice gave a fractured gasp.
‘Oh, God!'
Her eyes snapped open as he lifted his head. ‘Don't stop!' she pleaded in the grip of a raw need that was outside her experience.

‘Stop?' he said thickly. ‘
Cara
, I haven't even started yet.' To back up his claim he curved his hands around her bottom and drew her pliant body hard up against him.

Her eyes widened as she felt the brazen swell of his erection against her belly. He grinned wickedly as she mouthed a breathless,
‘Oh…!'

The grin made him look so incredibly gorgeous that she found the corners of her own mouth lifting.

‘I've made you smile at me…a first.'

She tilted her head a little to one side as she trailed her fingers along his sleeve and felt his muscles tense. Love for this incredibly gorgeous man made her heart race as she watched the shift of expression play across the strong planes and intriguing angles of his face.

‘Tonight seems to be a night for firsts. Have you any idea how badly I want you?'

‘You shall show me,' he promised.

She shuddered with pleasure and closed her eyes as he bent his head and fitted his mouth to hers. The heat in her blood ignited and she was kissing him back with a desperate starved intensity.

The abruptness with which he released her left Alice gasping quite literally and she began to shake with fine tremors that shook her entire body. Her big eyes were fixed with bewildered reproach on his face.

‘What's wrong? Did I do something?'

A spasm contorted his lean features. ‘You're beautiful.' His eyes slid from hers as he dragged a not-quite-steady hand through his hair. ‘You have been drinking…you were ill.' So what's your excuse, Luca?

Alice listened to him with a growing sense of frustrated disbelief.

‘I've had a drink; that isn't the same thing as being totally drunk or incapable!' she protested. ‘I'm quite able to make my own decisions.' Even really bad ones like kissing Luca O'Hagan.

Dear God, what was I thinking of?

Silly question, I wasn't thinking, I was just acting like a sexually starved idiot!

‘Alcohol can affect a person's judgement,' he recited gravely. ‘The hospitals are full of young men who made the decision to drive after a skinful.'

‘Are you trying to tell me that the consequences of sleeping with you are likely to land me in hospital?'

‘You know exactly what I was saying, Alice.' Luca massaged his temples and revolved his athletic shoulders. Neither action released any of the tension that was tying his body in knots.

‘I know you won't let a little thing like the facts ruin a good sermon.' She scrubbed angrily at her tear-stained cheeks with her clenched fists and sucked in a tremulous breath. She suddenly buried her face in her hands.

‘Tomorrow…'

Her head lifted.

‘If you say I'll thank you for this tomorrow I'll kill you!' she warned. ‘How dare you tell me I'm being reckless? I'm
never
reckless; I reckon I'm due a bit of reckless. And who would I be hurting? Tell me that.'

‘There's no need to act as if you are the only one who's suffering, Alice. This isn't easy for me either,' Luca pointed out with what, when you considered the ache in his groin, was in his opinion admirable restraint.

Pity you hadn't shown some of that restraint five minutes ago, the voice in his head suggested drily.

Was she meant to offer him sympathy? ‘Good!' She wanted him to suffer…suffer lots. ‘And who says I'm suffering?' she added defiantly.

Consciously controlling his breathing, Luca prized his eyes away from the pouting outline of her full, luscious lips. His mobile mouth twisted as their eyes met.

‘My mistake.'

‘I can't believe it happened.' Alice wasn't even aware she had voiced her dismay out loud until Luca responded.

‘I wouldn't try and figure it out; sexual chemistry doesn't follow a logical pattern.'

Alice studied him with an expression of seething dislike as he moved to the other side of the bed. He couldn't have made it much more obvious he was deliberately putting distance between them.

‘Don't worry, I'm not going to jump you!' She felt the hot sting of tears and blinked. She had never felt so mortified in her entire life. ‘And for the record there is no chemistry here, sexual or otherwise.'

Luca's expressive shoulders lifted in a shrug that revealed his irritation. He looked at her big tear-filled eyes and quivering lips and his expression softened.

‘I'm not drunk, I'm mad! As for you coming down with a case of principles…' she released a hoarse laugh ‘…just how likely is that?'

Much more likely, she thought, now in full self-pity mode, he had realised whom he was kissing. The incomparable Luca O'Hagan kissing a glorified office dogsbody? That would never do.

‘You don't think I have principles?'

‘The truth?'

He shrugged. ‘Why not? It has a novelty value at least.'

‘I think you'd sell your mother for a profit,' she flung back recklessly. ‘And…put that down!' she yelled, flinging herself across the room in her haste to snatch the framed photo he was studying out of his hand. She glanced down at the snapshot of Mark and a younger her before glaring at him and clutching it protectively against her heaving bosom.

‘Who is he?'

‘Mark.'

‘
Mark
…my, you do get around, don't you? And where is this
Mark
while you're trying to get me into bed?'

‘He's dead.'

The sneer died from his face. ‘I'm sorry,' he said abruptly. Electric-blue eyes travelled over the contours of her face, dwelling longest on the softness of her lips still swollen from his kiss. He was very aware of the sweet taste of her mouth still on his tongue. ‘He was someone special to you?' he asked thickly.

She nodded mutely. ‘Very special; Mark was my husband.'

A look of total astonishment swept across his lean face. ‘You were married?'

Alice gave a tight shrug. She didn't want this conversation. Not with Luca, of all people. ‘People do get married, you know.'

People, but not Luca, she thought, sliding a covetous look at the tall, lean figure beside her. Luca had never displayed the slightest inclination to settle for one woman. His idea of a long-term relationship was two weeks.

Now that she thought about it, in all but one very important detail he was the sort of man her sister-in-law said she really needed at this point in her life. Alice tried and failed not to recall some of the qualities her blunt sister-in-law had said were essential when looking for a suitable man to make her feel like a woman. ‘He's got to be hot in the sack and generous, if you get my meaning?'

It was generally pretty hard
not
to get Rachel's meaning!

At the time an amused Alice had doubted this sex god who could turn your bones to water
and
make you laugh existed outside her sister-in-law's fertile X-rated imagination. Now Alice knew differently! She almost could have been describing Luca.

‘So I've heard. When did you get married?'

She replied and he swore softly in Italian. ‘Six years ago; you must have been very young.'

‘So was Mark.'

Luca narrowed his gaze on her wide, wary eyes. ‘How long were you married for?'

Ridiculously the sexy rasp in his voice made her tummy flip. ‘Three months.'

His chest lifted as he inhaled deeply in shock. ‘Three months!' he repeated.
'Madre di Dio!'
He scanned her averted face. ‘Was he ill?' he probed gently.

‘Mark got pneumonia, which developed into septicaemia.'

Luca wondered how often she'd been forced to explain these bleak facts, being scrupulously careful not to display any emotion that might embarrass the other person. The Latin and Irish blood running through his veins made him unable to see anything good about the English stiff upper lip. In his view emotions were there to be expressed, not repressed.

The owner of a volatile temperament and strong views, Luca had got into trouble expressing his own in the past. Trouble included losing a job for refusing point-blank to write a juicy story that would have hurt a politician's family, and getting beaten senseless as a thirteen-year-old for telling a group of bullies four years older than him exactly what he thought of them!