The Johnson Sisters (11 page)

 

Once I calmed down, I immediately regretted what I had said to Dawn. My sisters were looking at me like I'd done the worst thing imaginable. Vivian was so livid she didn't say anything to me. She started clearing the table and putting things up like we weren't in her house. In our commotion, little Nevaeh had woken up, so Serena was tending to her. She was sitting at the island on the barstool feeding her, and Phoenix was leaned against the wall, gaping at me.

“Y'all, I'm sorry,” I said sincerely.

“I can't believe you, Shauna,” Vivian spat. “How could you do that to her?”

“She made me mad and I lost it.”

“You more than lost it. You destroyed Dawn in the process, and possibly this entire family. You know we have promised ourselves we would never speak on those events, especially in anger,” Phoenix reminded me.

“I know, and I can't enough that I'm sorry,” I pleaded.

“The person you need to be saying sorry to is Dawn,” Vivian urged.

“Do you think she's going to want to hear anything I have to say after what I just did?” I asked.

“Hell naw,” Phoenix said. “But you are still going to have to apologize. Call her now and see if you can get her. You shouldn't go to sleep with this lingering in the air among us.”

I took Phoenix's advice and pulled out my cell phone to call Dawn. Pulling her number up, I dialed it. The call was sent straight to voicemail. I tried again, only for the same thing to happen.

“She's not accepting my calls,” I said dejectedly.

“Well, can you blame her?” Viv asked, putting the leftover pot of gumbo into the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of Moscato. “Now she's thinking this is how all of us feel, and it's not that way at all.”

“Honestly, I've thought about telling Dawn the exact thing Shauna did,” Serena confessed, looking down at little Nevaeh drinking her bottle of milk.

“So you agree with how Shauna let Dawn know?” Vivian asked, looking in a drawer for the bottle opener.

“Yes,” Serena said, looking up and speaking matter-of-factly. “Dawn hit below the belt first, and Shauna returned the blows.”

“I can't believe what you are saying right now,” Vivian retorted, finally finding the contraption that would get her closer to easing her stress with a glass of wine.

“For years I've had an issue with Dawn, but I embraced her because it wasn't her fault she was brought into a situation of adultery, just like it wasn't our fault our daddy created another sibling outside his relationship with our mother. It wasn't Dawn's fault her mom gave up on life. At the same time, we were supposed to go on like this happy little family, letting her come into the fold like everything was sunshine and rainbows. I've never understood that. Did anyone ever think how it would affect us?” Serena asked.

“Exactly,” I agreed, nodding to what Serena just said.

“Mom wanted it that way,” Phoenix reminded us.

“Did she, or did she feel sorry for a child who didn't deserve the hand that was dealt to her?” Serena asked.

“Mama was good for helping people,” I agreed. “So why not help the very child her man created? She had already taken him back. What was she supposed to do, tell him, ‘I don't want that child in my house' after hearing Dawn's mother blew her brains out?”

“Regardless of how things played out in our past, what happened tonight never should have happened. We have all come a long way,” Vivian argued.

“Dawn always starts stuff by running that mouth of hers, and she can't ever take it when she's on the losing end of the situation. Case in point, Paige. And let us not forget what she did to our dad.”

The room fell silent then.

“Our dad is in jail because of her,” Serena said, picking up Nevaeh and laying her over her lap to burp her as she bounced her leg gently. “Have you all forgiven her for putting him there? Because I haven't. I love Dawn, don't get me wrong, but it's been difficult for me to pretend I don't have a problem with her.”

“You've done an awesome job hiding your feelings,” Phoenix said.

“I didn't have a choice. I didn't want to be the one rocking the boat on us getting along,” Serena revealed.

“Don't put this on us. You could have said something or brought it up before now,” Phoenix said.

“And then what, have y'all mad at me and talking to me about how I need to forgive and forget? Y'all know y'all would have done that,” Serena replied.

“You're right,” Vivian agreed.

“Look, I went ballistic tonight. It brought things out that should have been brought to the forefront years ago. Now it's time to deal with them,” I said.

“I'm not ready to deal,” Vivian countered, surprising us all.

“Why? You are always the one who wants to work things out,” I said.

“Things are not always what they appear to be,” Vivian responded.

“What does that mean?” Serena asked.

“Look, I'm done talking about this tonight. I'm ready to go to bed,” Vivian said, clicking off the light over the sink.

“I guess that's our cue to leave,” Phoenix said, walking over to the table and grabbing her purse. “We Johnson sisters never fail to entertain, regardless of the outcome.”

“You ain't never lied,” Serena agreed, picking up a now sleeping Nevaeh and hopping down off the stool carefully. She walked over to the carrier and placed little Nevaeh in it, strapping her down for the trip home.

“One day these issues are going to have to be dealt with for us to move on. We can't keep pretending like they don't exist. That's all I'm saying,” I said, looking at Vivian, who was still holding her unopened bottle of Moscato. I guessed she was waiting to open it after we left, probably fearing we would want some, which I would. I wasn't going to push it. She was ready for us to be gone, and I was ready to go home.

“Tonight doesn't have to be the night to resolve our issues, so let's sleep on it and figure out what to do later,” Vivian said, practically pushing us out of the door.

Yes, I had opened a can of worms, which had been created a long time ago, and now I was the one who turned the can over, making a mess of things. This was our elephant in the room that we had been ignoring for quite some time. We didn't realize how the actions of our father would affect us in the long run. Tonight seemed to be filled with skeletons rolling out of the closet, and I couldn't help but wonder what other remains were going to appear before all of this was over.

 

As much as I loved these dinners with my sisters, I was always glad when they were over, especially tonight. Like always, there was an argument and disagreements. Who knew tonight Dawn's soon-to-be marriage would be the beginning of a squabble that caused issues from the past to spill out like red wine on white carpet? These issues were the tarnish we couldn't get rid of. For Dawn to go off on us like she did was so uncalled for, but the response Shauna delivered was way worse than anything Dawn said. I wondered if our relationship could withstand some of the things that came out of her mouth tonight. I didn't think so, and I wished things would have been left alone. As deep as the wounds were dug, I wasn't sure this time was the right time to heal them.

Even in all of that commotion, I'm not going to lie, a part of me was a bit jealous of Dawn announcing her soon-to-be wedding. I was the oldest, so I felt like I should have been the first to get married. At the same time, how could I be jealous when I didn't even have a man to tie the knot with? She was right about that. My career was my man. I was making money and buying my home and car and basically living a lucrative life, but all of this was done with no one to share it with.

As together as it seemed like I had it, no one knew the turmoil that brewed beneath my exterior. My hair stayed done, nails done, everything done. I sauntered like I owned the world. I looked like I had it together, but deep down inside I didn't. I think the toll of trying to be this perfectionist was finally catching up to me. Around people I could fake it better than anybody, but once I was alone, the reality of everything always hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind became the devil's playground, and some of the things he'd been telling me to do scared me.

After work, all I looked forward to was coming home, slipping out of my clothes, and crawling into bed. There had been days when I didn't get up until the next morning without so much as a morsel of food consumed. My bed was my haven. One of the things that seemed to take my mind off my own issues was watching other peoples' lives unfold on reality TV. I would watch it until sleep took over. This was when I was my happiest, in slumber land without having to do a thing but rest. It was the only time when my mind was in a state of peace.

Crawling into my refuge with my Tinker Bell sleepwear on, I turned on the TV, jumping quickly back into my routine. It was a little after 10:30 p.m. and I was surprised, after all the drama tonight, that I wasn't sleepy. I guessed Dawn's engagement and Shauna's mudslinging were more than I could handle. I wished I could be happy for Dawn, but I couldn't. How could I, when I felt like my life was somewhat over at the ripe age of thirty-four? I had become a hermit. The only drive I had was with my job. When it came to quality time with me, I shafted myself.

The bottle of wine I gripped earlier was sitting on my nightstand in a bucket of ice. I was waiting for my sisters to leave so I wouldn't have to share any of it with them. Tonight, the entire bottle was mine. I reached over and grabbed it, along with the corkscrew to open it. Twisting it into the cork, I had the bottle opened in seconds. The popping sound was like music to my ears as a small cloud escaped the bottle. I reached over and put the corkscrew down and grabbed my wine glass. I was almost tempted to drink out of the bottle but thought a glass would be better.

Filling the glass halfway, I gulped down the cold, delicious liquid. I moaned with delight as the cool liquid made its way down my esophagus. I poured another glass, filling it to the rim. This time I sipped. I put the bottle with the remaining Moscato back in the bucket of ice on my nightstand and got cozy. Leaning back on my pillows, I was going to sip until I felt the wine do its magic and relax me.

My cell phone rang, breaking my tranquil moment. I reached over to my nightstand and answered it. “Hello.”

“Yo, open the door. I'm pulling up now.”

“What happened to your key, Sheldon?”

“Oh, I forgot you gave me one. I can't get used to having it,” he said, giggling with the music blaring in the background. I was surprised he could hear me at all with the way his music was blaring in my ear and I wasn't even in the car.

“Just come in. I'm in the bedroom.”

“Are you watching TV or reading a book?” he asked.

“I'm watching TV. There's nothing else better to do.”

“I'll be in there in a minute to perk you up.”

“Okay, and make sure you lock the door back when you come in. You are good for leaving it unlocked,” I told him.

“Like somebody is fool enough to come in there while I'm here.”

“A gun doesn't know anybody, so lock it please. You can't play hero if you're dead.”

Sheldon laughed and hung up.

All my sisters thought I was a fool to not be with Sheldon. He was fine as hell, but I loved the six-year friendship we had developed, and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it. We'd never had sex or even kissed one another. I mean, we kissed each other, but it was on the cheek with a hug. Nothing more than that. He was the fun part of my life, and a lot of times I lived through him. He did bring me joy. I honestly didn't know if I could make it without him.

About five minutes later, Sheldon was walking in my bedroom. “I swear you need to find something else to do other than cuddle in your bed all the time,” Sheldon said, coming in. Then he saw me holding a glass. “And you are drinking. You didn't tell me that.”

“I didn't think it was important.”

“Of course it is when I might want some.”

“Sorry. This bottle is all mine. If you want one of your own, you can get it out the fridge,” I told him.

“Not even a sip?” Sheldon asked, walking over and picking up the bottle of wine from the bucket.

“Here, boy,” I said, handing him my glass. “And only a sip. I know how you do. You will gulp that—”

Before I could get those words out of my mouth, Sheldon downed the wine, leaving my glass empty once again. I frowned at him like, “Really?”

“Sorry, Viv. I needed it after the night I've had,” he said, handing me the empty glass.

“Trust me. I've had the same type of night,” I retorted. “Well, you look nice,” I complimented him, looking at him wearing a pair of dark denim jeans, a black shirt, a black leather jacket, and black Timberlands.

“Thank you,” he said, kicking off his boots. He took his jacket off, tossing it on my bench at the foot of my bed. “You know I had to come over here and tell you about my date,” Sheldon said, coming over to the bed and climbing in.

“Boy, are you clean? I don't want no other woman's remnants in my bed,” I told him.

“Viv, I'm good. You know I know better than that,” he said, crawling next to me.

“Okay. I'm just checking. You know you have before,” I said, pouring me another glass of wine.

“That was so long ago,” he said, smiling.

I looked at him like, “Boy, please.”

“So why is your date over so soon?” I asked. “I thought you would be taking her home and hanging out like you do.”

“Viv, it was the
Nightmare on Elm Street
reincarnated through this woman,” he said jokingly. “I'm never going on a blind date again.”

“What? Did she look like Freddie Krueger or something?”

“No, this woman wasn't bad looking at all.”

“So what was the problem?” I asked.

He sighed, tilting his head like he didn't want to say, and just his hesitation made me burst into laughter. I said to him, “Sheldon, it couldn't have been that bad.”

“Yes, it was. Like I said, this woman was cute and had a nice little shape on her, but her mouth . . .”

“What about her mouth?” I asked.

“I thought Phoenix and Shauna cursed a lot, but this chick had ‘motherfuck this' and ‘fuck that' flying out of her mouth to the point I was embarrassed to be around her. And I curse,” Sheldon said.

I laughed.

“Not only did she curse a lot, Viv, but she revealed to me she had eight kids,” he said, holding up eight fingers.

“Eight?” I asked, frowning.

“Yes, eight with seven different baby daddies.”

“She told you this?”

“Yes,” he yelled like he still couldn't believe it. “Who admits something like that on the first date?”

“Didn't she know that was a date killer?”

“Right,” he agreed. “And, Viv, she was only twenty-nine. All night I kept thinking how in the hell do you have eight kids by thirty? You know I love kids, but eight?” Sheldon said, causing me to giggle. “I thought one of her kids was going to interrupt our dinner, singing the song, ‘One, two, my daddy's coming for you. Three, four, gonna lock the door. Five, six, trying to get your chips.'”

I burst into laughter again, happy that Sheldon had taken me out of my dreadful mood. He always knew how to do this, even if it sometimes came at the expense of his horrible dates.

“I was looking for a little girl wearing that same dress that kid wore in
Nightmare on Elm Street
for real, Viv. I was scared.”

“Boy, you weren't scared.”

“Like hell I wasn't,” he said seriously.

“Where did y'all go to eat?” I asked.

“Cheddars. You know I love their croissants.”

“And you didn't bring me any?”

“Damn. I did. I brought nine. I left them in the car. I'll get them in a minute.”

“I'm not going to eat nine croissants,” I said.

“I got them for the both of us. Did you make that gumbo like you said you were?”

“Yes, it's some left. I made sure to save you some.”

“That's what I'm talking about,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Thanks for looking out, because I know Phoenix would have taken all them leftovers home with her,” Sheldon said.

“Oh, believe me, she tried, but I hid some before they all got here. It eliminates one less issue between us.”

“So tonight was crazy?” he asked. “I can tell by your mood and your bottle of bubbly.”

“Was it? Why did Dawn tell us she's getting married?”

“To who?” he asked in astonishment.

“Corey of all people,” I revealed.

“Cheater cheater pussy-eater.”

“Sheldon!”

“Well, that's what he's known for in the streets. Dude dives down more than a SCUBA instructor giving diving lessons. Why you think he gets so many women? They're trying to see what the tongue feels like.”

“You didn't have to say it like that. You can't say coochie or poon-poon?” I joked.

“Viv, what I look like saying
coochie
? I'm a man for goodness' sake, and I say pussy,” he retorted.

“I forgot who I was talking to,” I replied, taking a sip of my wine.

“Evidently you did. Now, did you tell Dawn she lost her damn mind?” Sheldon asked, lying down on his left side to face me, propping himself up on the pillows.

“Of course. I think the only one who didn't really argue tonight was Phoenix.”

“Tell me you're lying.”

“I'm serious. She made her little comments, but me, Shauna, and Serena had it out with Dawn.”

“Phoenix always got something smart to say,” Sheldon said.

“I know, but tonight she was too busy spitting gumbo all over my kitchen.”

“Okay. That explains it. She was busy laughing her ass off, huh?”

“Basically. Shauna was the one who lost it tonight. She got so mad at Dawn she told her she's not going to have anything to do with the wedding,” I told him.

“Daaaaamn. Y'all really went at it.”

“That wasn't even the half. Dawn decided to tell us about ourselves and ended up throwing all of us under the bus.”

“How?” Sheldon asked.

“Well, I'm being used by men. Serena was stupid for having her baby by a man who already has a kid out of wedlock. Shauna's dumb enough to be with a woman-beater. And Phoenix is a whore who's never going to be good enough to be any man's wife,” I recapped.

“Daaaamn. Dawn took it there for real. I wish I was here to play referee. It would have been better than my nightmare of a date.”

“It gets worse,” I said.

“Viv, I don't think it can get worse than that.”

“Believe you me it did. Shauna lost it. I mean, she blacked the hell out. She brought back so much stuff I wanted buried from our past that I think only Jesus Himself needs to come down here and be the intermediary between them two now. I feel like this will cause a major rift between us sisters.”

“Please tell me she didn't mention anything about Dawn's mother?” Sheldon asked.

I nodded, saying, “She took it there. And now I don't know how to fix it.”

“First off, Viv, you can't fix it. It's not up to you to fix everything. All you can do is be the big sister you are. You are putting too much pressure on yourself. Pray about it and let God handle it.”

Sheldon was right. I always wanted things perfect, even though I knew this wasn't a perfect world we lived in. It did feel good talking to him about it. Sheldon knew everything about how we grew up. I told him about Daddy cheating on Mom and having a child outside his relationship. I told Sheldon everything. Well, almost everything.

“Enough about my night. What did you do? Because I know you did something. Did you leave her sitting at the table? Because you're good for ditching a woman,” I said, looking at
Family Guy
on Cartoon Network.