The Kerr Construction Company (7 page)

“What, you want to marry her or something, man?” Jose gasped. “I have to meet this girl.”

“I don’t want to marry her. But I can’t get her off my mind. I wish we could go off to Alaska or something.”

“Don’t take this personal, Dalhart,” Jose teased. “But you’re such a
pendejo
.”

****

Carmen watched me walk into the restaurant wearing a serious demeanor. I managed a smile, but it came out forced.

“Something happen at work?” she asked walking with me as I sought a table. “Dynamite? A fist fight? Did you just get fired?”

“Naw,” I said before kissing her on the cheek.

“On the cheek? A kiss on the cheek? Hello, how are you, how’s life? I get a kiss on the cheek? Dalhart, what’s up with you today?”

“I finally told Jose about you,” I explained.

“And?”

“You’re more of me now.”

“I repeat. And?”

“What are we going to do, Carmen?”

“About what?”

“About us.”

“Let me think about that,” she bit out. “Fall in love?”

I scoped her out. She stared darts into me.

Maybe it was because she was Hispanic, but she reminded me of a female Ricky Ricardo with her comical mannerisms.

“Let’s see…” The heat of her anger was scorching. “I say in answer to your obnoxious question, the one about what are we going to do now that all your friends finally know about us after we’ve seen each other for a month, is, well, let’s fall in love. And he just stands there. Listen,
cabron
, you better do some reassuring here real quick, or I’ll kick you out of my mother’s house before you ever get to move in.”

“Carmen, I’m sorry. I’m not sure about what, but all I think about now is you and me. How happy we are. Now I’ve finally told everyone, and it makes it deeper somehow. This is getting serious.”

“Dalhart—” The phrase is “if looks could kill.” That’s the kind of look Carmen shot at me now. “Ah. I don’t know,” she scoffed. “I was so happy until you walked in that door. Can we just start again before I knock you silly? How’s your day, Sweetheart? And speaking of which, why haven’t you told me yet that you love me? I’ve been dying to tell you, but you’re the one passing through. I don’t want to tie you down. But now it’s starting to look like you don’t want to be tied down.” The right side of her upper lip curled in defiance. “I love you, Dalhart. There. Does that tie you down? To hell with you, then. I love you. We’ve been together for a month. We made love in Monument Valley. And we haven’t since, for the record, but somehow it’s gut-check time now. Say it to me or get the hell out of my restaurant.” She turned to look at her boss, the owner. “Right?”

Her boss broke into laughter. “I can’t help you out here, Dalhart, old buddy. You better fix this up.”

“I love you, Carmen. Don’t you get it? I love you. And I love loving you. That’s what I hate about all this.”

****

Moriah Energy was throwing a picnic for employees on Saturday. Kerr Construction was to set everything up, and we were invited because of it. More overtime pay.

“McIlhenny,” someone called out. It was a gritty-looking guy I recognized. He drove heavy equipment. “Help me nail these two-by-fours for the stage we’re building tomorrow.”

He handed me a sledge hammer and placed a nail as large as a small spike on the end of one of the boards. I timidly tapped at the nail, hoping I wouldn’t miss and break his hand. I’d never hit a nail with a sledge hammer before and thought I should warn him.

“Hit the damn thing, McIlhenny,” he barked.

I struck at the nail a little harder.

“Damn it,” he growled. “Hit the damn nail like you got some
huevos.
”

He then grabbed the sledge hammer. “You hold this,” he ordered, handing me the nail. “This is how you do it.”

He reared back with the hammer well over his head, then swung with all his force. He drove perfect strikes the next three swings, driving the nail in.

“Here,” he said handing the hammer back. “Now use a little gumption.”

It was his funeral, I decided. I saw concern on his face as he watched the sledge hammer soar past the back of my head and then zero down on the nail he was holding. A perfect strike. I looked at him in celebration, happy for his still-intact hand. It was like the nail had a magnet on it. Three more swings and the nail went through the board and into the next one.

It was past ten at night as we piled into the back of the pickup to go home. Someone moaned that Doug’s pickup approached, but I didn’t care. I was disappointed I couldn’t see Carmen at this hour.

“I need people at headquarters tomorrow morning before we come up here,” Doug yelped. “There’s things to set up. Try to be there by eight. For those that can’t make that, we’re leaving for the celebration at ten-thirty or you get left.”

He looked and saw me staring off into space.

“Did you hear me over there, McIlhenny?”

Jose nudged me. “Daddy’s talking,” he joked.

“McIlhenny, I need you at headquarters by eight tomorrow. Got that?”

“I’ll be there,” I answered.

He got out of his pickup, glaring at me the whole time as he walked toward us.

“We never did finish our little go-round from the other day, did we?” he said. I grimaced and looked the other way. “Get ready, McIlhenny. We’re going to see what you’re made of. It’s overdue.”

I sat stoically, still hoping he would go away. He didn’t. He walked behind me, reached up, and grabbed me in a stranglehold, knocking off my hard hat. The fact that I wasn’t in the mood got me all the angrier. The harder he put his arm in a lock around my neck, the more furious I became. Was I his little boy?

I jerked myself free from the headlock. The fact that I was so tall made it hard for him to hold on to my shirt collar. He grabbed at me and managed to bend me back down, but I grabbed him by the beard and then kicked upward toward his head. His hard hat flew off and the steel tip of my boot pounded into his temple, knocking him down.

“If you want a piece of me, step down,” he growled.

I should have been mad, but I wasn’t. He was off me, and that was enough.

“I don’t want to fight you, Doug.”

The calmness of my voice caught him off guard, and I saw the awkwardness on his face.

“I don’t want to fight either,” he said, seemingly ashamed, picking up his hard hat. “You’re a good man,” he said, getting into his pickup and driving off.

“Kick his ass,” the rest of the crew said. Even Jose egged me on.

“He won’t be any more trouble,” I answered, and returned broodingly to my longings for Carmen.

It was nearly midnight when we got back to the headquarters of Kerr Construction Company. I got in my van and headed to the company area’s exit. I turned the wheel right to go to my coworker’s house for a shower, but before I stepped on the foot feed, I stared straight ahead. I had to see her. Even to renew our feelings. I turned the steering wheel toward the left and drove down the street.

I pounded on the door of her mother’s house hard enough for someone to hear me, but not so hard as to irritate anyone. I hoped.

“Dalhart?” I heard Carmen say through the locked door. “Is it you?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I have to get up early because we have extra work to do, but I need to see you. I need a kiss.”

The door jerked open and she flew into my arms like in a Hollywood movie. Her body felt warm and light as a feather. In the shadows of nighttime I detected the black slip she wore, held on by its shoulder straps. There was no contrast with the black fabric on dark brown skin; the allure was strong with suggestiveness.

“I have to go,” I said as we held onto each other. “God, I don’t want to go.”

“Then stay, Dalhart. Mother will understand. She’s got to understand. I can’t take this. Come inside. Lay next to me.”

“I can’t do that, Carmen. How the hell am I not going to do that? But I can’t do that.”

I kissed her again, more forcefully and dramatically, for show and fun, than with the affection I felt. I then nudged her away and turned to walk back to my van with braggadocio. I took three steps, turned back to her, then ran to kiss her again.

“Someday I’m staying,” I said, “but not tonight. Good night,
mi amour
.”

Her form in the dark teased me. I couldn’t take it. Is this God, or Mother Nature? But either way, I could not take it. I kissed her again with passion.

“I love you, Carmen. I—”

She reached up to stroke my hair. “What are we going to do?” she asked.

****

The daytime temperature in the desert of New Mexico reaches over a hundred. It’s a dry heat that doesn’t punish like the humidity back home, but it creates a constant thirst. I had not been getting enough water. During the night it got frigid. With my sleeping bag, I didn’t get physically cold, but I was constantly breathing in cold air.

I was thirsty the entire night. When I awoke the next morning, I felt an irritation in my lungs and a raspiness in my throat. I tried ignoring it as I drove to work.

“You’re the only one who showed up,” Doug said angrily as I walked into the shed upon arriving. “I can’t count on anyone for anything.”

He led me to a roll of fence wire against the wall.

“We can manage this ourselves. The others can go to the picnic with Ira, if they ever show up. We have to load this and some tools into the pickup. The poles are already there. We have to partition off an area.”

He complained the whole trip about how no one worked hard and no one was loyal except me. I thought about telling him why, but decided it wasn’t the time.

Doug and I were still building the fence when some of the management from Moriah Energy began addressing the miners. After the speeches, the miners formed into groups for competitions, and the Kerr group formed into one of its own. We won the tug of war, and Ira won the hammer-strong-man event of high target.

Next was a fifty-yard dash. Those entering were cocky, and I wondered why. I had been up most of the night, had gotten up early to work, and was in my work clothes, including steel-toed boots. But so what?

“Where you going, McIlhenny?” Ira asked.

“I can beat these turkeys,” I boasted.

“What makes you so sure of yourself? Because you’re an ex-Marine?”

“Yeah, and I used to play football.”

“So did some of them.”

“But I’m from Texas.”

I was in front the whole time and won by five yards.

“You lucked out,” Ira scoffed as I returned.

“You make your own luck, Ira.”

“You got a saying for everything, don’t you?”

“That’s what they’re there for.” I smirked.

Even after supper I felt drained. I purposely avoided Carmen’s restaurant and ate pizza. I needed to conserve my energy for when I had her alone. I was limp as I ate, and could barely keep my head up.

“I was afraid you worked late again,” Carmen said as a greeting at the door to her mother’s house. She leaned up to kiss me, but my kiss back was limp. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Come on in. Let’s sit on the couch.”

“I don’t know if it’s my glands,” I said. “They don’t feel swollen, but they’re irritated. It may be my sinuses. I don’t have a runny nose, but maybe it’s a cold just starting.”

“Oh, Dalhart, what will you do? You’re a laborer. You don’t get time off. Not paid leave, anyway. Tomorrow’s Sunday. Stay with me. Take it easy. You’ll be okay.”

She held me by the hand and led me to the couch in the living room. She sat down at one end and gently tugged at me to lie down and place my head on her lap.

“I got sick at Camp Pendleton both times I was there, in the Marines,” I reminisced to her. “I think the same thing is happening now.”

“Oh, no.” Carmen sighed as she rubbed my cheek gently with one hand and stroked my hair with the other. “You just got into my life. I can’t bear you to feel so much stress. What will happen now? What will you do? What will I do?”

She struggled to lean down but managed to kiss my forehead. I lay like a wet dishrag, taking in all the energy she was prepared to give me.

“If I fall asleep,” I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” she pleaded. “Oh, Dalhart, no. Don’t let anything be wrong. And we were so patient and honorable with each other, and now, what if we never get to give ourselves to each other again? I don’t mean to sound selfish.”

I slowly and painfully raised my hand to touch her forearm as she stroked more of my hair.

“It was important, Carmen,” I said listlessly. “I needed to go slowly. I needed to get to know you, but mostly I needed for you to know me more. I’m different, Carmen. Different from anyone you’ve ever met. I cherish the time we made love, but this had to be real. Beyond sense gratification. Beyond whim.”

“Yes, you are so different, Dalhart. You’re special. But you give me so little credit that I understand how you feel about it, about us going slowly with one another. I’ve been understanding. Please accept I have.”

“I’ve had flings before, Carmen. I’ve enjoyed myself at a girl’s expense before. Your mother was right to make us promise. I probably would have pounced on you if she hadn’t made us promise. You’re so pretty and full of life. You have a spark. I can’t resist. All that is good. But I wanted more from you. And from myself. Beyond this sense gratification thing, like I said. All that’s okay. Nature has its way. This replenish-the-earth thing. All these biological instructions going on inside us. But there’s more to us than that, and you get trapped by it so easily. It takes on a life of its own. That’s why so many religions try to discipline it out of you. I don’t agree with that. But I understand it. But all these demands of Mother Nature are fulfilling, too, even spiritually. But not if it’s just another reason to party.”