The Know (8 page)

Jon Jon shrugged.

‘Should have thought of that, shouldn’t he? I ain’t got time for wasters, Mum. ’Specially not crack-head wasters.’

The subject was closed and Joanie wondered at a son who could be so caring and compassionate with his sisters and family and yet could physically maim a close personal friend.

She didn’t want to think about any of it too much, so she did what she always did. She smiled and laughed and joked. Kira was in stitches as she left for school with her big brother. Then Joanie went straight for the Valium.

Just to take the edge off life. That’s what she had been telling herself for years.

Chapter Four

Monika was staring at the huge man before her in absolute awe. He was bloody big. He was also a nice fella who tried so hard to be accommodating it was painful to watch him.

Being on the large side herself she knew the battle he faced daily, not just inside himself but with the outside world. Though she laughed about him with Joanie, they liked him a lot. Tommy was kind and compassionate.

Yet, for all his size, she saw that he was surprisingly light on his feet. That was another thing she had noticed about him: he managed to get about all right. Far better than you would think when you looked at him, though he did huff and puff more than most.

Tommy for his part was having the time of his life. Two women were sitting talking to him as if he was a real person. Someone who mattered, someone who actually belonged in their world. This was his third visit now and he felt welcome and respected. It was the latter that pleased him most. Joanie was a goddess to him now, and since she had welcomed him into her home, the neighbours had started to show him new respect, especially since Jon Jon too now gave him the time of day. Like his mother, he didn’t judge books by their covers. Tommy had decided early on that he liked the boy. He certainly had his priorities right where his family was concerned. He was like a father to his sisters, watching them like a hawk.

Nowadays, thanks to the Brewers, people called out to Tommy as he sat on his balcony, and he had even started to take the long trek to the shops on a daily basis. That alone was hard work, but it was worth it because people spoke to him now. Were actually interested in him. He had his own niche in the life of the estate.

He also had unlimited access to Kira, which was the idea after all. He loved her, loved being with her. She was everything to him, and she loved him back. She had told him she did. She had also said she felt stifled by her family, but he had explained how lucky she was to have people who actually cared about her and he thought she had understood what he meant. He hoped so anyway.

Joanie grinned at him; she had a lovely face. She also had a dignity that wasn’t apparent on first meeting her but which shone out like a beacon after a while. She had had a hard life, he knew that and could sympathise with it. More than most people, in fact.

‘So do you want the job then?’

Tommy grinned from ear to ear.

‘Oh, please. It would be my pleasure.’

He flapped one hand and sent Monika into gales of laughter once more. But it was friendly laughter, not vicious and at the expense of his pride. It was laughter to be shared, by him as well as everyone nearby. He was in his element, even camping it up a bit to please them all.

‘Now all we need to sort out is the money.’

Tommy’s face fell.

‘Please, Joanie. I couldn’t take money from a friend.’

She smiled at him. She knew he meant what he said and appreciated the fact, but he had to be paid. Fair dues.

‘Listen to me - you will get a few quid, son. Now I don’t want to hear no more about it, OK?’

He smiled and nodded, pleased that the decision had been taken out of his hands. Wait until he told his father he had a job! A real job. Not like the ones he had done before. Homework, boring soul-destroying homework. Hours and hours spent making boxes.

That
would give his dad something to think about.

‘Well, if you’re sure, Joanie.’

He was thrilled with the way things had turned out.

Joanie let him make the tea because she knew it pleased him so much. He wasn’t a bad fella, just lonely. And if anyone knew about loneliness it was her.

Tommy’s face clouded over then. Suppose his father put a block on the babysitting? So he said quietly, ‘The only fly in the ointment is me dad.’

Monika laughed that hearty laugh of hers and said loudly, ‘Fuck him, Tommy. Jon Jon will have a word if necessary. So stop worrying, mate.’

But even as he smiled they could see the fear on his open face. Then it vanished, as quickly as if a curtain had been lifted. Jon Jon would sort it out. Even his father wouldn’t dare cross Jon Jon Brewer.

The two women saw his expression change and then happiness was glowing from him once more.

‘I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, Tommy.’

As she spoke Joanie made a face at Monika that sent her into stitches once more.

‘Fucking miserable old bastard he is. Here, Joanie, tell you what - we’ll Godfather him. He looks senile so we’ll just make him an offer he can’t remember!’

They all laughed again, except Tommy was laughing at the sheer scandalous audacity of the words and not because he thought they were funny.

If his father only
knew
he was the object of ridicule for a change! He broke into a cold sweat just thinking about it. But for all that it felt good to laugh at him, about him.

Tommy had friends, and his father could do nothing about it. Not without letting the cat out of the bag anyway.

He pushed that thought away as quickly as it had come into his head. That was all in the past now, like his father said. It was wonderful just to be in this kitchen with people who accepted him whatever he was and whatever he looked like.

For the first time since his mother had died Tommy felt valued, needed.

It was certainly a heady feeling.

 
Paulie was at home finishing his breakfast. He always ate a late breakfast and it was always served to him by his wife Sylvia.

She was a big girl, fleshy and raw-boned. She had a lovely face and no dress sense whatsoever, which suited Paulie down to the ground. She never stood out at Masonic dos and was a pillar of the local church. She was also an exemplary mother.

His two daughters, Pauline aged eleven and Jacqueline aged nine, were perfect little middle-class misses with the right hairstyles and suitably demure clothing and personalities. No chance of them going into the family business, not with the amount he was weighing out for their school fees anyway.

He liked his home life, it suited him. In fact he was loath to leave the bosom of his household today because he was dog-tired and fancied a bit of the other with old Sylvia. She was due a good seeing to and they both knew it.

Paulie felt lucky in his life. He was totally in control of everything and everyone around him. He poured himself another coffee and smiled at his wife.

Sylvia watched her husband and stifled the laughter that was spiralling up inside her body and threatening to burst out. He had to be the most smug, self-satisfied and ignorant man on the planet. She knew all about him, but wasn’t going to let on, and if he thought he was going to touch her at any point today or in the future he had a big shock coming. She had loved him once, many years ago. Now she wasn’t sure how she felt about him.

What she did know, though, was that he was a good provider and that was more important to her than anything. She was not going to end up like her own mother, living on past glories while scraping out her life in genteel poverty.

So Sylvia had made a separate life for herself, and Paulie had no idea that she was gradually manoeuvring him away from herself and their daughters.

She was spending more and more time at their ‘country retreat’. This was actually a four-bedroomed mock-Georgian house in Kent, but it did the job as far as she was concerned. It kept her and the girls away from this cretin she called a husband, and that, as far as she was concerned, was a touch.

Nowadays they were like strangers who just happened to reside under the same roof. The roof he had paid for admittedly. She attended functions with him where she stood beside him like the good wife she was. And she
was
a good wife, even though he had not always been a good husband. In short, Sylvia knew which side her bread was buttered.

As he leered at her now she looked away. Men, she had always thought, were so predictable. Well, Paulie was in for a shock and no mistake!

 
Jeanette was with Jasper, the man of her dreams. As usual school was out of the question and she was truanting round a squat used by his friends. To her he was the be all and end all. His deep blue eyes were like magnets to this child-woman and he knew it. And used it.

Girls liked Jasper Copes. He was good-looking and he was hard. What more could any of them want?

The only thing that spoiled it was that Jasper and all his friends were racists. They belonged to the new breed of skinheads. Jeanette’s having a brother with a Jamaican father was not really something that endeared her to the people around her in this squat. Even the girls looked at her askance, and talked about her and Jasper among themselves.

Jeanette secretly hated it here, but it was where Jasper wanted to be so she followed like the good little girl she was. She knew that when Jon Jon found out who she was seeing there would be murders, but Jasper had a hold over her and she felt if she wasn’t with him her life would be worth nothing any more.

She prayed daily that Jon Jon and Jasper would meet and get on. But that was one miracle even Jesus would be hard pressed to perform.

Her eyes lingered on the BNP posters and she shut her ears to the racist banter all around her. She felt left out, and as much as she loved Jasper, she was glad. She wouldn’t want to feel comfortable in a place like this. These people were ignorant and they were ugly, both inside and out.

She wished she knew what exactly it was about Jasper that made her so eager to overlook his lifestyle. True, he was the leader, the one they all looked up to and listened to. Sometimes when she saw him in this mode he frightened her. But alone with her he was softer, and made her feel good about herself. So he couldn’t be all bad surely?

One of his friends, Polo Jenkins, said to her loudly, forcing her from her reverie, ‘I said, did the filth get your brother yet?’

‘’Course not!’

She spoke to him as if he was stupid and this was noted by everyone there. One thing about being Jon Jon’s sister: it made people wary of you. Being Jasper’s bird helped a lot as well.

The atmosphere was charged for a few seconds and she saw Jasper grin. He liked it when Jeanette defended herself.

She sighed. They were talking once more about their god Nick Griffin and she went back on to autopilot. Ten minutes later she said, ‘I’m off, Jasper.’

The conversation was now about the poor African immigrants in Northampton of all places, and how AIDS cases had increased by three hundred per cent since their arrival there.

Jasper smiled at her.

‘Give me a minute, mate.’

She shook her head.

‘I said, I’m off. And that means now.’

She stared him out and could see him debating his reaction with himself. Eventually he shrugged.

‘Fair enough.’

She left the squat, and when she got outside and the fresh air hit her, took deep breaths as if to clean her lungs from the stench of their hatred. She also heard loud laughter from inside and was shrewd enough to know it was from a joke made at her expense.

Sad, but feeling strangely lighter, she made her way home. Those people were sick and she wanted nothing to do with them, Jasper included. She didn’t really mean that, and she knew it, but it made her feel better to think she could act so tough. She didn’t need him, she didn’t need anyone. Her mother’s neglect and the years spent in and out of care had seen to that. The sensible part of her was saying, ‘Walk away from him.’ Their lives were too different and all the scheming to see him was killing her. If Jon Jon only knew! She felt hot every time she thought about it.

However, when Jasper caught up with her five minutes later Jeanette felt inexplicably pleased. He had chased after her. That in itself was a first. It proved he really did care about her, she had to believe that. As he smiled down at her Jeanette felt her heart melt.

He wasn’t all bad, not like he thought he was. If that was true he wouldn’t be here with her now.

She had walked away and he had followed her. For once she held the power in their relationship and it felt good. She only hoped it lasted.

Twenty minutes later she was stretched out in his bed, the grubby sheets giving off their familiar rank smell. His mother as usual was nowhere to be seen. Karen Copes spent most afternoons in the local pub with her cronies.

The strange thing was, Jeanette didn’t even enjoy this bit of it, but if it was what it took to keep him, then so be it.

She did what Jasper wanted and she did it willingly.

 
Kira and Tommy were now fast friends, and knowing that she had unlimited access to his Barbie collection was the icing on the cake as far as she was concerned. His dad was nice to her as well, though she often felt the atmosphere between him and Tommy. But Joseph Thompson always gave her a kind word and somehow she knew that life was easier for Tommy when she was there.