The Land Of Shadows

To every reader.

They give our stories life by letting them reside in their imaginations.

I want to thank God for being there every step of the way and blessing me with such an amazing life.

Thank you to Ronald and Sheldon, my lovely family
, for being so patient with me.

Patti your covers rock, as always. I swear I’m addic
ted to cover shopping with you.

Kristine, my BFF and super-amazing PA, I’
d be lost without.

My Beta Readers, Riza Matias-Gumboc, Liza Flor Dequilla, Kristine McGinnis, Kelly Marshall-White, Rhiannon Matthias - ladies you’re all kinds of awesome. Thank you for giving up the time to read for me, mak
ing teasers and pimping for me.

My book besties – Amy, Andrea, Edwin, Karen, Sharon and Kelly Fletcher –
thank you for being my friends.

And most important – the readers, reviewers and bloggers – thank you for each of you. You make writing worthwhile. Thank you to Kathleen, Amy, Andrea, Sharon, Riza and Kristine for never giving up on Vaalbara ;)

Thank you to each blog that took the time to take part in the cove
r reveal and release day blitz.

Love ya all tons ;)

~*~

This book contains graphic scenes of sex, violence and strong language. I can’t stress that enough.

If you are agreeable with these terms then I hope you enjoy the book. Some scenes may be disturbing to some readers, they are intended to be disturbing so that you will understand the main character’s hurt, her suffering and anguish, but also how she chose to overcome her difficulties. This book has an HEA, but it is part of The Vaalbara Trilogy.

You will notice that some of the characters dialect is different, this is for a reason. In the beginning you may find this odd, but as the book progress you will get used to it. Vaalbara is a world that has values, honor and virtues.

This book is intended for mature, adult readers who are 17 and older.

Happy Reading ;)

Faith lightens the path your shadowed mind has to walk.

Secrets

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream – Edgar Allan Poe

You can never run from your past, it defines who you are today. But use your Awo given intelligence and enjoy the future. It only comes once.

Storm~

When I close my eyes, her face is all I see. She haunts my dreams. I hardly have control over my talents. She leaves me burning with desire at the very thought of her. She must be doing this for her own twisted pleasure. What other explanation can there be for her taunting me every chance she gets?

The heat radiating off me scorches every breath I try to suck into my lungs. But then guilt consumes my thoughts as the memories of that horrible day floods me. Its intensity throws me back to that day no matter how hard I fight it. I’m forced to face those memories with both great regret and the sweetest longing. I’ve been trapped in this hell for what feels like a lifetime, and I fear it will never end.

I try to suck in another desperate breath, but it doesn’t help. I can’t hold back any longer. A desperate groan rumbles through my chest as I grab hold of my shirt. My chest aches but it’s an aching only she can soothe. The mere sight of her makes it easier to breathe. It eases some of the relentless craving confined so deep inside of me. I fear there’s nothing left of me. There’s only this yearning for her.

I let the sweet torture engulf every part of me once more. It’s all I can do to survive. It’s the only way I can be close to her. The agonizing memories are all I have now.

With the misery comes my ecstasy. A simple moment is never enough to sate my longing for her. The memories once again flood my mind. Every muscle in my body tightens. My pulse races faster as if to meet her. The countdown to the nightmare that haunts my every sleeping hour begins. With one hand I grip the couch tightly, and the other is fisted so tightly in my shirt, I’m about to rip through the material. I wish I could rather touch her silky skin.

Her bubbly laughter is always the first thing I hear. It trickles softly to me like the wind chimes Sarah has hanging outside Elora’s bedroom. A cynical smile plays around my lips, knowing the memories will only leave a bitter taste in my mouth. But I can’t resist. I never can.

My lips part as anticipation builds within me. Heat rolls in waves from my scorching skin.

Who am I trying to fool, telling myself that she haunts my dreams? I’m weak, that’s all there is to it. I can’t stop thinking of her. I lie awake every night thinking of our time together, a time when she smiled at me - a time when I was the one she needed.

Memories, they are the sum of what we’ve become.

~*~

I can happily drown in her beauty, drinking in her petite features. Exhilaration courses through my veins like a man hell-bent on making a woman his. I should be focused on the fact that I’ve been sent into the desert with a group of untrained charges. I should be on high alert, but all I can think of is Luna.

I glance over my shoulder and see Alchera lagging behind the group. She needs to pick up her pace. She looks frustrated as she talks to someone, most probably Raighne. She takes her frustration out on a stone as she kicks hard at it. I smile as she starts to walk faster. Raighne must’ve given her a hard time for lagging so far behind the group.

When I look in front of me again, my eyes instantly search for Luna. My breath catches as she smiles up at Lucius. Her moon-kissed eyes capture mine and for a moment I can imagine all the secrets of the night are held captive in them, just as she holds my heart captive. I take in her mouth, her lips curved slightly up, plump and begging to be kissed. Her laughter fades into something softer.

I don’t look away as her eyes hold mine. I want her to know my true feelings. I want her to know I’m going to make her mine. After we are done here with training, I’m going to ask for her hand. I need to make her mine.

There’s a questioning look in her eyes before a smile brightens her face again.

It’s the last time Luna smiles at me.

~*~

I try to curl my body deeper into the couch which has become my bed of late. A thin layer of sweat coats me and it makes my shirt stick to my skin. It’s uncomfortable but I can’t bear to leave this half-dreaming state to find a change of clothes. I want to stay near her no matter what I have to go through.

The group is always there, waiting for me in the nightmare. Alchera’s scream echoes through my mind. My soul is burdened with memories of how I failed her, and no amount of time, no number of years will let me live down the look on her face as Carter snatched her from right before our eyes in the desert.

Blair’s silence has been deafening since that day.

Lucius proved his bravery back then. He proved to be more of a man than I could ever be. He was forced to learn how his talents worked in those three weeks as we wandered the desert, all because I refused to use mine.

I sigh, because no matter who I think of, it will always come back to Luna.

~*~

I’m drinking in Luna’s beauty when her eyes turn liquid silver with horror. Fear dances in her eyes and it reminds me of another time, a time much rather left forgotten. Luna is the first to see Carter.

In my thirty seven years I’ve been alive I’ve seen a lot, but by Awo, she’s breathtaking in this moment. Her skin starts to shimmer as if the moon itself is shining from within her.

I failed Alchera because I was staring at Luna.

I sprint towards Carter to try and stop him but he shimmers away, taking Alchera with him. Blair falls to the ground, a raw sound ripping from her chest. I turn back to the twins and Luna’s eyes are the first I see. Her unusual silver eyes turn opaque with fear and she looks so fragile and vulnerable where she stands trembling. She takes an unsteady breath in order to say something. She attempts to speak, but her words falter. I expect her to cry, but in the days that follow it’s the one thing she never does. She is horrified by what just happened, but there are no tears, she leaves those for Blair.

~*~

Blair was the ultimate warrior. She could train anyone to be a guardian. She even helped train Alchera when she first arrived on Vaalbara. Yet the weight of what happened consumed even her strong heart.

I stretch myself out as I remember Luna’s hands grabbing for me. A sad smile pulls at my lips and I reach for my chest where her head should be resting right this second, if there was any goodness left in this world. Beautiful Luna has always been a part of my life in some way, but that dreadful moment changed everything.

Luna braved every day alongside Lucius and spent long nights struggling with her own talent to bring us home. I was nothing but a coward. I could’ve made things so much easier for all of us, but instead I left everything in the hands of the twins. I could’ve helped Lucius ease the heat of the day with rain, snow, or even a few clouds for shade. I could’ve helped Luna give us light at night. I could’ve helped keep us warm. But, no … I walked on and feigned my powerlessness. I could’ve manipulated the weather to bow to my will, but I continued to fake the absence of my talents!

I fist my fingers tighter into my shirt and steam begins to rise from my body. The memories of how hard it was not to help gnaw at my already burdened conscience. The room temperature spikes, making the walls sweat in anticipation of what’s to come. I know I should calm myself down before I start a fire, but my chest aches too much – I ache for her.

My breath comes faster as I remember Luna and the nights we spent together in the desert. I did my best to give her strength, and after the first two days of wandering she didn’t leave my side. We all huddled together at night, trying to stay warm as best we could.

It was that second night it happened.

I felt Luna’s warmth close to my back. Being so constantly aware of her presence, I felt every tentative movement she made. I kept my back to her for fear of what I might do, but that night when she pressed herself against me, clenching fistfuls of my shirt in her hands. Oh, Awo! I almost forgot where we were and that she was only seventeen. I would first have to ask her parents’ permission before courting her. Just one more year and she’d be eighteen, old enough to wed.

When the sun fell once again the next day, we all took to the ground for our night’s rest and Luna’s eyes shyly pleaded with mine. I couldn’t turn my back on her. I took her hand and pulled her into the shelter of my arms. I offered my arm to her as a pillow, but as the night grew colder I drew her closer into the warmth of my body. The chill of the desert air enveloped us. Lucius tried his best to keep everyone warm with his talent, but his strength could only last while the sun replenished him. I used my body to shelter Luna and in the morning when I woke her eyes gazed shyly up at mine. Her innocence was intoxicating and I wanted it all for myself.

She tried so hard to understand her talent and use it to help us. I could see it frustrated her. For nineteen nights we slept with me holding her tightly, every night drifting into the next. When the village finally came into view, Luna slowed her pace. Her haste to get home suddenly vanished. The fear was gone from her eyes and replaced with a strange sadness.

I took hold of her arm and held her back as the others ran toward the village. “Are you not happy to be home?” I brushed some sand from her cheek. I would find any excuse to touch her.

“I suppose I am.” She tried to smile, but it was a half-hearted attempt at best.

“Thank you for bringing us home.” I moved in closer, knowing I was crossing boundaries not meant to be crossed. I couldn’t resist slipping my hand over her shoulder, brushing her hair away from her slender neck. Her skin begged for my touch. Her delicate white complexion only added to her mystical look, one that her silver-blonde hair and eyes complimented well.

I dragged my fingers through her silky long hair and then slipped my other hand behind her neck, tilting her head backwards, and forcing her to look up at me. “You were so brave, Love.” I let my whisper drift intimately over her skin. She always stood out from the other children due to her petite size, but in the last two years she grew into a beautiful girl … and in the desert I finally took notice of the woman she’s becoming. I knew she hated terms of endearment if anyone else used them around her. When I used them it was special and only meant for our private conversations. When the words flowed from my lips, a shy smile always played on her face.

“I could not have done it without your guidance.” Her eyes darted between my neck and my eyes.

I knew the women in the village found me attractive and if I wanted to I could easily charm them, but Luna, she was different. She was quiet of nature, and before that incident she used to be so polite. The past seven years changed all that.

Every muscle in my body tenses as I force myself to remember what happened next. It has become a painful memory, no longer sweet.

I knew she was many years younger than me, but it didn’t matter anymore. It worked out between Raighne and Alchera, he was much older than me. Why wouldn’t it work for us, too? In a world where we lived for eternity, age didn’t matter.

I lifted Luna’s chin before she could turn her face from mine. I smiled, trying to ease my own nerves. My usual charm vanished in that moment as I stared deep into her moonlit eyes. Her breath caught in her throat when she realized my intentions and her already big eyes widened in what I hoped was anticipation. She kept her eyes on my lips as they neared hers, and when I finally kissed her a spark ignited between us. It was pure energy, sizzling into every nerve of my body.

I tried to keep the kiss light and quick but then Luna raised herself on her toes, and I found my hands encircling her tiny waist to pull her body closer against mine.

“You are mesmerizing, Love.”

I drowned in Luna that day.

As I deepened the kiss she gasped and I lost it. I slipped my tongue into the warmth of her mouth and she tasted sweeter than I ever could’ve imagined. My insides ignited and I desired Luna more than ever. I wanted to devour her.

~*~

Luna~

Running on the outskirts of the woodlands, I slam into a mass of heat. It’s the middle of the night and the air was cool just a moment ago. Taking in my surroundings, I notice I’m way too close to the house I normally avoid at all costs. I scowl darkly as everything inside me urges me to keep running.

“Ignore it, Luna! Do not be a fool.” I turn away and walk deeper into the woodlands. A small and rather annoying voice begs me to go check on him. I can feel my neck hairs rise as I fight to control my temper just thinking of Storm. He is the last person I want to see.

“Why should I check on him? Seeing him on the training field every day is more than enough for me. He is the last person in need of any help, especially mine!” I shake my head at my one sided conversation and blow an irritating strand of hair out of my face. “We will only end up fighting, just like we always do.” I grind my teeth when I stop, and stalk back in the direction of Storm’s house. “You are going to regret this, Luna!” I roll my shoulders, preparing myself for a one-on-one session with Storm.

As I get closer to his house it feels like the very air is trying to escape from the walls. The heat is almost unbearable and I pull the sleeve of my shirt over my hand before opening the front door. An upsurge of hot air slams into me making me almost go down. My eyes sting and flood with tears. I wipe away strands of hair sticking to my now clammy face. The air is too thick and hot to breathe. I struggle to see through my blurring vision.

“Storm!” The only answer I get is the walls creaking. It sounds like the whole house is about to come down.

I’ve been here only once and if memory serves me right the kitchen should be to my left. I walk half-blinded in the direction I think the kitchen is. When my lungs start screaming for air, I’m left with no other choice but to take off my long sleeve shirt and cover my mouth with it. I feel exposed wearing only a tank top but at least I can breathe now.