The Last Rain (31 page)

Novelist55:

Because of the authoritarianism. I mean it’s

all connected. You need that totally progres-

sive radical approach that Shomer had to

counteract the dangers of the collective …

Nissim73:

I don’t know about that. I always felt the

adults were trying to emasculate us. This con-

cept they had back then, teaching us to obey

and also suffer a little along the way.

Novelist55:

So you don’t think it’s related to being Shomer

or not …

Nissim73:

I don’t know. Sometimes I visit another kib-

butz, it’s like walking into a movie set, it feels

so unreal. Even if you go to the same place ten

years later, it’s already a whole new story.

Novelist55:

Just like no two families …

Nissim73:

Except the happy ones, which don’t exist.

Novelist55:

Still, Shomer had very progressive ideas

about kids, education, etc.

Nissim73:

Didn’t you say Shoshana tied kids to the bed?

Novelist55:

One kid. But she did it secretly. If they’d

known, they would have been shocked. They

still don’t know. One guy from Eldar won-

dered about something I said in an interview

and he asked me what I was referring to.

When I told him about Shoshana, he wrote

back
Everyone here remembers Shoshana as

a warm, caring person
.

Nissim73:

So what else is new …

Novelist55:

But in Dror Shaul’s film everyone accepts that

Minder. Her policies are the policies of the

kibbutz.

Nissim73:

Maybe.

Novelist55:

Did you ever get hit?

Nissim73:

Yes and no.

Novelist55:

?

Nissim73:

We did have one Minder—a guy, actually. He

hit us all the time but he disguised it as play.

And the problem was that we liked him. And

we didn’t know how to think about his hitting.

I still see him sometimes, at demos. Anyhow,

he left the kibbutz.

Novelist55:

There was someone at Eldar who did shmirat

leila [Night Guarding] who choked and slapped

babies. I mean, not everyone likes babies, not

everyone is nice or sane. You’re in your twen-

ties, you’re exhausted, the babies wake you up

for the sixth time, they’re not your kids, four

of them are shrieking at the same time—not

everyone is going to deal with that situation

the way they should.

Nissim73:

How do you know?

Novelist55:

Everyone knows when things happen to them.

What I can’t know is whether it was only the

once or more than once. And I’ll never know

who. Why does that surprise anyone?

Nissim73:

It’s very disturbing.

Novelist55:

Well, you don’t leave babies with random

strangers, it’s asking for trouble. Poor Edna,

she put so much into bringing us up and then

in one night someone undoes it all … Anyhow

we all survived. It’s very moving, in Children of

the Sun, how one woman says at the end that

when she visits her old kibbutz her feet enjoy

stepping on the ground—na’im li baragla’im

lidrokh. I love that phrase.

Nissim73:

What are you wearing?

Novelist55:

I always felt lucky that we grew up without

inhibitions.

Nissim73:

That may be just you.

Novelist55:

I guess I bought it all. I still don’t own any

clothes.

Nissim73:

?

Novelist55:

I mean that I only have 5 or 6 items of cloth-

ing. I like seeing beautiful clothes on other

people but feel strange wearing anything but

jeans myself.

Nissim73:

That’s definitely just you.

Novelist55:

You mean I can’t blame everything on Eldar?

Nissim73:

My parents are into having every latest gadget.

Novelist55:

You mean the whole ascetic ethic is gone …

Nissim73:

hold on a sec

Nissim73:

ok I’m back, had to check something.

Novelist55:

Rakefet’s novel made me realize something.

Taboos are there for a reason. They protect

the vulnerable.

Nissim73:

What happened on her kibbutz, the pedo-

phile—that can happen anywhere. And people

can ignore it anywhere.

Novelist55:

That’s true. Did you have a chance to ask your

aunt if she knows who that sleepy teacher was,

with the honey-coloured hair? I really liked her.

I think the early mornings were hard on her …

Nissim73:

I keep forgetting. I don’t talk to her that often.

Novelist55:

I’m trying to figure out how much I want to say

about Martin’s suicide/accident.

Nissim73:

What happened exactly?

Novelist55:

He was on guard duty, alone for some reason,

and he either shot himself or his Sten went off

by mistake, which apparently does happen.

Nissim73:

Yes, it happened to someone on our base. Not

a Sten of course.

Novelist55:

Poor guy.

Nissim73:

Who, Martin or the guy on my base?

Novelist55:

!

Nissim73:

Have you ever considered suicide?

Novelist55:

No. Life always interested me too much. And

especially since I’ve had my daughter, there’s

nothing I want more than to look after her. It

makes me happy

Novelist55:

just to buy her a new toothbrush …

Nissim73:

Do you breathe down her neck?

Novelist55:

I’m way too busy, Nissim. What about you?

You’re not planning to kill yourself I hope.

Nissim73:

Are you kidding? And miss the next elections?

Novelist55:

:)

Nissim73:

You know about the murder-suicide at Ramat

Hakovesh? I think it was last year.

Novelist55:

Is that a kibbutz?

Nissim73:

Yes. I once went out with someone from there.

Anyhow, one old guy killed the manager and

then himself in an argument over money. Not

exactly money, but the whole privatization

process.

Novelist55:

?

Nissim73:

A lot of kibbutzim are calling in outsiders to

manage the process and suddenly after being

in charge of your life for forty years and not

having to think about money, some stranger

is deciding what your job is worth, what your

pension should be.

Nissim73:

So there’s huge resentment and conflict. The

transition is too radical. I can really under-

stand that guy. It’s cruel, the way it’s being

done in some places. A blogger said it’s

straight out of Orwell. I agree.

Novelist55:

I keep finding out more and more. And I want

to include everything in my novel … I haven’t

even dealt with the whole communal sleeping