The Last Rain (9 page)

Dori
 

On Passover there’s going to be a big celebration with parents and children. I love holidays.

In Canada Daddy was the leader of Camp Bilu’im. It was a summer camp for big people only and it really was fun, just like its name.
³¹
Once when it was already dark everyone walked in a long long line to a huge campfire and while we walked we sang—

When Moses was in Egyptland

Let my people go

Oh pressed so hard they could not stand

Let my people go

Go down Moses! Waaay down in Egyptland!

Tell old Pharoah. To let my people go.
³²

Daddy carried me on his shoulders in the dark. We walked slowly because it’s important to remember slaves. I’m never going to forget that walk. I’m never going to forget anything.

I like the Moses song but the Joshua song is even better—

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho Jericho Jericho

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho

And the walls came a tumbling down 

Well you can talk about the battle of Gideon!

You can talk about the battle of Saul!

But there’s none like good old Joshua

At the battle of Jericho. That morning!

We had a record with both those songs on Davaar Street. They’re both beautiful but the Joshua one hurts my heart.

Leonora/Lolo/Leah Previn

(1927–1959)

Older sister of André Previn;

worked with the poor of Los Angeles in her early twenties;

immigrated to Israel;

joined the founders of Eldar in 1949;

changed name to Leah;

invited Isaac Stern to visit Eldar before a scheduled concert in Haifa;

Leah remembered by Isaac as beautiful;

Eldar remembered as a military observation post;

members’ harsh living conditions and evident love of music prompted Isaac, with characteristic generosity, to issue an invitation to his concert at no charge;

concert was sold out;

Isaac refused to perform unless seats were found for the forty Eldar members who showed up;

barrels and crates set up for them in wings;

Leah is remembered by all who knew her as kind and gentle;

Naftali changed his name from Stavitsky to Satie in the hope of impressing her;

ploy failed;

at some point Leah returned to the United States;

was diagnosed with cancer at age thirty-two;

told André but not her parents;

died four days after André won an Academy Award;

André in New York at the time, working on a television special;

André told his biographer that he and Lolo were close though in many ways opposites;

photos of her are not included in Previn biographies/memoirs;

details of her life are now known only to those who knew her personally.

Dori

It’s the middle of the night and Skye is crying. Skye hardly ever cries but she’s sick. I say
call the Night Guard
but she doesn’t want to. I’m surprised. Skye is exactly the sort of person to call the Guard.

I decide to do it myself. I like being the one who gets up and calls the Guard. It means I’m big now and I can help.

I walk over to the loudspeaker on the wall and shout up
Skye is sick!

I hear a voice coming out of the loudspeaker but it’s full of noise. I shout again
Skye is sick!
and the voice comes out again but I still can’t hear it.

There’s nothing more I can do. I go back to bed. I tell Skye
I called the Night Guard
. She isn’t crying as much now. She’s waiting for the Guard.

II

The World Below

Will it be a king or a non-king Who establishes a territory of dominion in the world below?

—UGARITIC BAAL CYCLE, C. 1300 BCE

Dori

I’m on my way to the Room when I see a game on the lawn. The bigger children are playing army. They’re using sticks for pretend rifles. A boy I don’t know is the commander.

I find a rifle and join the game. We do left right left attention at ease salute. I don’t really understand left right left. Everyone walks left right left. There’s no other way to walk.

A boy grabs my rifle. I don’t bother fighting over it. It’s not worth the trouble. Anyhow the game is boring. The commander is doing the same thing over and over.

I run to the Room and show Daddy attention at ease salute. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the whole army business. I ask him
did you fight in the army?
and he says
not exactly
. He doesn’t want to tell me. There was something else I had to ask him but I forget.

Our First Year

23 January 1949.
We are now living in dispersed areas in the few good buildings that were left standing in the village. Living quarters assigned of course in conformity with needs of security. A spooky and unpleasant process to stumble home in the dark and rainy night, with a glaring battery light and all sorts of looming and unfamiliar ruins seeming to crowd forward on every side.

Some of us still get lost from time to time on the unfamiliar paths, complicated terraces and treacherous rubble. I often feel like something from one of those Kafkaesque novels when I step out of my damp room filled with smoke (can’t get the fireplace to burn properly) and walk over the huge white stones, past the half-destroyed wall, and watch a wild cat come running out of the small building with the caved-in roof.

Dori

There’s a song my brother David likes to sing with his friends. It’s about the legend of the Red Rock. The legend says that there’s a place beyond the mountains called the Red Rock and no one who goes there returns alive. Three lads decide to go anyhow. All they take with them is an old dream and a map and a canteen. What I like best about the song is that after each part you get to say
oh the Red Rock, the Red Rock
.
³³

I don’t know the whole song but in the end the lads die. I asked Daddy why everyone who goes to the Red Rock dies but he didn’t want to tell me. The question made him angry. Not at me though. At something else.

I kept asking and asking and finally he said
because it’s dangerous
. I asked
what can happen
? but he only said
it’s not safe
because he didn’t want to tell me but he didn’t want to lie
.
I asked
if people know they’re going to die, why do they go?
and he said
because it’s so beautiful
.

That doesn’t make sense in my opinion. What’s the point of seeing something beautiful if you die the minute you see it?

David says Ben Gurion won’t let the radio play the song about the Red Rock because it might give people the idea to go there. But the lad in the song dies so how would that make someone want to go? Also if Ben Gurion is afraid people will go to the Red Rock, is it a legend or is it real?

I don’t understand this whole Red Rock business.

Petra

Archaeological city in Jordan;

capital of the Nabataeans in the sixth century BCE;

chosen by the BBC as one of forty places to see before you die;

unknown in the West before 1812;

in May 1953 two young Israeli hikers challenged themselves to reach Petra and succeeded, travelling mostly by night, hiding from armed Bedouins, scaling walls of rock, crossing streams, bypassing waterfalls, climbing and descending cliffs and ravines, avoiding goat herds;

their success encouraged Eitan Mintz, Yaakov Kleifeld, Gila Ben-Akiva, Arik Magar and nursing graduate Miriam Monderer (pictured resting above) who attempted the journey in August but, possibly following a snakebite, approached the police station for help, were presumably taken for aggressors and shot;

their bodies were returned to Israel the next day;

three years later, in April 1956, paratroopers Dror Levi and Dimitri Berman made the attempt and were shot, though Berman managed to haul himself home;
³⁴

a year later Menahem Ben-David, Ram Pragai, Kalman Shlafsky and Dan Gilad were killed on the way to Petra;

song about Petra fatalities banned 30 July 1958;

trips to Petra safe for Israelis since the 1994 peace agreement with Jordan;

one-day group tours from Eilat available for $200 per adult.

Dori

My brother David found a jug somewhere. Exactly like the fairy’s jugs in
Pinocchio.

I get very excited. David lets me hold the jug and I try to put it on my head but the handle is too high.

I look inside and suddenly a horrible smell comes out of the jug. The worst smell I ever smelled in my whole life. I make a face and a sound like throwing up and David laughs.

The jugs looked so nice in
Pinocchio
and on the heads of the Arab women and I really wanted one. Now I don’t even know if I like jugs any more.

Our First Year

29 January 1949.
Cold and cloudy once again; we’re preparing for another bout of rain. Practically not a drop of water on the kibbutz, not even enough to take care of the cooking. Something must be wrong with the army truck.

Meanwhile we’re working full speed to repair some of the buildings. Guard duty very uneventful, much to our relief, and we don’t even hear shots. The army pulled out completely a number of days ago, and they only come around now to discuss our defences.

Dori

I’m on my way to the Room when I see the man from the ruins. He always wears a long dark coat. Even in summer. My brother David says his name is either Jeremiah ben-Jacob or Arnold and he sleeps on straw with the wild dogs.

I decide to follow him. I want to see those ruins.

But as soon as I get there he pushes me down on the

ground with his hand and opens his coat. He’s naked inside the coat and his skin is very white. I scream and run away as fast as I can.

I’m still interested in the ruins though. I’ll ask David and Noam and Amnoni to take me with them next time they go.

Thy Neck with Chains of Gold
 

RITA
,
alone in her room, moves to the wall separating her room from
MICHAEL
and
MARINA
’s, and knocks. She waits for a response. The knock is returned. She sits and waits for the door to open. Enter
MICHAEL
.

Dori
 

There’s a beautiful lullaby—

Lullaby the ship is sailing

Lullaby the waves are rocking

Moon o moon

The ship starts to sway

Lullaby lullay

Let your song fade away 

Lullaby three birds left the bay

Lullaby one froze on the way

Moon o moon

The second was shot

And the very last one

Lullaby lullay

Your name forgot

Mummy says the song is about Jews coming to Palestina. That’s what Israel was called before it was ours. Palestina. I like that word.
Nina from Palestina
.

Mummy explains that the birds are symbols. Some Jews died on the way to Palestina and some were killed by the Enemy and some forgot they were Jews. I love symbols.

I have a question though. If a third were killed and a third died and a third forgot they were Jews then who was left to come to Palestina? That song is not exactly right because here we are.

Our First Year

1 February 1949.
Not rain, but snow, snow! Twelve inches deep in places and still falling. The whole appearance of the place is transformed. The ruins of the village look like reclining polar bears and the terraces and familiar paths are hidden. The pipes are frozen and a few people have twisted their ankles in bad falls. We’re still trying to repair buildings, but it’s almost impossible to work in the snow. The carpentry shop is working full blast.

Dori

I ask Daddy to read
The Little Matchgirl
to me. He laughs and says
but it makes you cry
. But I keep asking and in the end he gives in. I don’t mind crying.

When he gets to the fourth match I begin to cry. The girl sees her dead grandmother and wants to go with her. And in the morning they find the little girl frozen in the snow with the matches in her hand. I want a different ending and I cry and cry.

Daddy laughs and says
I told you it would make you cry
. He gives me a big white handkerchief to blow my nose. I say
make up a different ending
and he tries but it doesn’t work because I know it’s not the real ending.

Then he says
after Passover I’ll bring you a surprise from the city
and that makes my crying stop. I love that word—
surprise.
I wonder what it will be. I’m not really allowed to have anything that’s just mine but if Daddy buys it for me it isn’t my fault.