The Law of Desire (17 page)

“I just wanted to meet the young woman. I’ll leave since I’m clearly not wanted.” Sophie straightened her back and her pointy breasts poked out even farther. “Just remember what I told you, young lady.”

“Yeah. Got it. Goodbye.” Her voice was snappier than she felt as she pointed toward the door and pursed her lips.

“She’s rude, Lawrence, and totally unworthy! I hope you aren’t considering getting serious about this one. She’s—”

“None of your business or concern, Aunt Sophie. And we’d both like you to leave.” Lawrence stepped out of the door and used his arms to signal the way out for Sophie.

“But, Lawrence—”

“Leave. Please,” Lawrence barked.

Minerva watched the woman walk out of the room and angrily wiped away a tear that escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek.

The nerve of that tear! I refuse to cry. I’m not going to!
She took a deep breath and focused her energy on the sexy cop in her room.

Lawrence wrapped his arms around her. “Seeing you here all bruised and knowing it’s my fault is hard. I’m so sorry, baby. I should have protected you better. I’m sorry.”

His words and his touch had a soothing effect on her and she was able to calm down a little. But she was still left with the ache in her heart, the ache that came from knowing they weren’t going to make it. She wouldn’t be able to have him in her life, feel his touch, any of it, for very long.

“I can’t believe I almost spazzed out on you again.” She pulled away and forced a smile her heart didn’t feel.

“You’ve been through a lot. If anyone deserves to spazz out, it’s you. I wish you didn’t have to go through any of it. I wish I could have gotten in there before he—”

“If his confession sends him to jail for killing my brother, then it was worth it. I’ll heal.”

“But will you ever be able to trust me to look out for you, to protect you? I—”

“You have been protecting me all week, whether I wanted you to or not. If it weren’t for you, David’s goons would have snatched me up and they might have really hurt me in front of the police station. You’re my very own Superman. And even he couldn’t save Lois Lane all the time. I don’t blame you for what happened.”

She nibbled her lower lip. “Are they going to arrest me?”

“Arrest you for what?”

“David said that he had me bring drugs to the McKnight twins in that jacket. I had no idea that anything was sewn in the jacket. I would never have—”

“There’s no evidence of that. It would be your word against his with the McKnights dead. No one’s going to arrest you. No, the only person going to jail is David Sims. He was charged with selling drugs and the murders, and they are looking into money laundering in relation to some of the small businesses he dealt with as a brokerage agent. He’s going away for a long, long time.”

“Oh. So I guess I can go back to California when I’m released from here.”

He shook his head. “No, you can’t.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“You said you would stay and we could see where this relationship could go. So you can’t go back to California because you’re staying here.” He brushed his lips across her forehead again and she felt the tingles all the way down to her toes.

It was time for a reality check. Was she the only one of the two of them who realized that things weren’t going to work between them? She took a deep breath, as she got ready to do the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life.

Everything inside of him told him to just blurt out that he loved her. And he would have if she didn’t have a look on her face like she wanted to bolt out of the room. She was the one. He had to trust his gut no matter what.

“Listen—” he started.

“Lawrence, I—” she started.

They both stopped and the gentleman in him said let the lady go first even though his gut told him he would regret it.

“You go ahead.”

“Lawrence, this past week has been amazing. Hell, the past few months with you acting as my personal shadow have been amazing. If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I fell for you hard the first time I saw you. And that’s why I can’t stay. Your aunt, for all her stuck-up opinions, was right. I’m not the right girl for you. You need someone, like she said, ‘without the stench of drug dealers and gang bangers.’” She gave a soft smile as tears slid down her cheek. “Maybe someone
taller, shapelier and crime-free.
”

“I want you, Minerva.”
Tell her you love her!
The voice inside his head screamed. “You promised you would stay.”

“I know. But it would only be putting off the inevitable. My heart is breaking now. But if I stayed and things ended up going to hell later, I don’t think I could take it. We could just part friends and…”

Grasping, he threw out the first thing he could think of. “You could be pregnant.”

“I know. If I am, I’ll be sure to let you know as soon—”

“That’s not good enough. I’d like for you to stay here until we know for sure.”

She paused and then a hurt expression transformed her face and made him want to kick himself.

Why couldn’t he just put his heart on the line and tell her the truth?

“You don’t trust me…I…Okay…I’ll stay until we know one way or the other, if that’s what you want.” Her voice cracked. “Can you leave now? I’m tired. I promise I won’t escape from the hospital or anything like that. I’m just not in the mood for company right now.”

He left feeling like the biggest idiot and the worst kind of jerk combined. He had to find a way to make things right and get the woman he loved to see that they could work.

L
awrence was going to kill his family. The women in his family were at his home.

“You can just sublet my apartment, Minerva. And it will work out perfectly if you accept the position at Hightower Security that James and Joel offered you. My place is right in Elmwood Park and the offices are right in Fair Lawn. You’ll see that you can walk a block in North Jersey and be in another town.” Samantha lounged on Lawrence’s sofa trying to move Minerva out of his home as if she were discussing the weather or something.

No doubt they meant well. They were trying to be helpful. But in the two weeks since Minerva had been released from the hospital, his family had hovered all around his place with their helpfulness. Lawrence had barely had a chance to tell her how he really felt about her. And now they had figured out a way to talk her into staying in the area. But they were taking her right out of his house.

That wouldn’t work at all.

“Of course she’ll take the job with Hightower Security. And I’ll make sure that James makes her hours really flexible so that she can take classes and get her MSW like she planned. This is going to work out just perfectly.” His mother nodded her head in agreement with Samantha.

“I’d be more than happy to take you around to the surrounding colleges and universities to check out the programs,” Penny offered.

“But—” Minerva started, clearly overwhelmed.

“If you’re going to try and come up with some reason why you have to go back to California, just forget it. You’re family now. We’ve claimed you. And I couldn’t bear the thought of one of mine out there on her own,” Celia interrupted as she patted Minerva’s arm and looked at Penny and Samantha for backup.

“What if she doesn’t want to move? What if she wants to stay here with me?” Lawrence had to interject. If he let his mother, Samantha and Penny go on, they would have her moved out by the end of the day.

All four women turned and glared at him before turning back and continuing with their conversation as if he hadn’t even spoken, even his own Mama. This was getting out of hand.

“Minerva…” he started, but realized he didn’t want the Hightower wives and fiancée brigade around when he tried yet again to talk to the woman he loved and more than likely experience her rebuff.

All four women turned and cut him disparaging looks. This time they stared at him as if they were all waiting to see what he would deign to say.

“Never mind, we can talk once your new posse leaves,” he muttered ruefully.

“She’s going with us. We’re going to spend the day at the spa and then tonight it’s Samantha’s bachelorette party. You guys have the bachelor party tonight,” Penny offered with a smirk.

He’d forgotten about all the wedding hoopla. Joel and Samantha’s wedding was only a week away.

“And you have to come to the wedding, too, Minerva. I don’t want to hear any excuses. You can even bring a date. I could maybe hook you up with someone.” Samantha turned and cast her mischievous eyes on him.

“There’s this really nice young man at church.” His mother patted her chin with her pointer finger as if in concentration.

“Hey! Mama! She doesn’t need a date. Minerva, can I please talk to you for a minute? And before you all turn and glare at me like I’m the spawn of Satan, just save it. Minerva. A minute. Please.”

She stood and followed him to his study. She looked so beautiful he just wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she agreed to stay with him forever. And he did want forever in her arms.

“What do you want?” she asked with a sigh.

“You.” He knew he had to sound earnest because he had never felt this much need in all his life. He wanted her and he needed her to believe that.

“I’m here. What do you want with me? What do you have to say to me?”

“I want you, Minerva.
I want you.
The last two weeks have been hell. You’re here and you’re barely talking to me. And now my entire family has decided to champion your cause and they’re all against me, even my own mama!”

“Hey! I didn’t turn them against you.” She took a step back shaking her head.

He couldn’t go much longer without touching her. Two weeks was long enough. He pulled her into his arms.

She pulled away from him, only giving him a moment of connection.

“This is not a good idea. I’m not doing this dance with you anymore, Lawrence. We’re from two totally different worlds. So this whole ‘I want you’ thing is pointless. It can’t go anywhere.”

“That’s not true. Look, here’s the thing. I love you, baby.
I love you
. And I want you. I want you here with me.”

Her eyes widened and she took two steps backward before turning and leaving the room.

Deciding not to go after her, and instead to give her time to process what he had just confessed, was the hardest decision he had ever made. He just hoped it was the right one.

After a night of wild talk and games with the women in Lawrence’s family, Minerva was beat. Those women knew how to have a great time and they knew how to get knee-deep in folks’ business. Between Celia’s proclamations that Lawrence and Minerva’s wedding would be next, and Carla’s claiming Minerva as her newly adopted second child, Minerva had gotten more than enough advice.

“You’re back.”

Lawrence sat on the sofa and his deep masculine voice greeted her as soon as she walked in the door. She wished his voice didn’t have such an impact on her, but it did.

“Hey, you’re back early yourself. I thought for sure the wild bachelor party would still be going on.”

“Nope, you ladies out-partied us. I’ve been home for over an hour.” He smiled at her and she had to catch her breath.

“Oh. You didn’t have to wait up.”

“Yes, I did. I need to talk to you, baby.”

She took a deep breath and sat down next to him on the sofa. She kept her eyes pinned on her feet and hands, anywhere but on him. Out of all the advice she’d gotten from the women, the majority of that advice told her to believe Lawrence when he said he loved her. And she wanted to. God, did she want to.

“I love you.”

Her pulse began to race.

“No, you don’t. How could you when you don’t trust me? You don’t even trust me to go back to California before we find out if I’m pregnant. You don’t trust me to be up front with you about something like that. So what if I am pregnant? Do you trust me to be the mother of your child?” They were from opposite sides of the tracks. She hadn’t really realized how hurt she was by that until she heard her voice. She felt her own pain through each crack and catch.

“I
want
you to be the mother of my children. Baby, I love you. I didn’t want you to leave and go back to California. So I grasped at the first idiotic thing to come to my mind. I trust you with all my heart. Girl, you
are
my heart. And I just want a chance to make you fall in love with me as much as I am with you. I want you to stay.”

She inhaled and exhaled in quick succession.

Believe him.

He reached out and caressed her cheek, turning her to face him. “I’ve never experienced fear like what I felt when I couldn’t reach you in time to stop David Sims from hurting you. And the guilt…I know I’ll carry it for the rest of my life. But I’m not going to let guilt and my troubles with trusting my feelings keep me from love. I kept thinking, after my cousin died, that I didn’t deserve to be happy. And all I focused on was proving I wasn’t a screwup and doing the right thing.

“I didn’t trust myself to feel anything for anyone but my family and a few close friends. I never let a woman get close enough to penetrate my barriers. And then I saw you…And from the first moment I saw you, even with that crazy two-toned hair, you pushed against and past all my walls. You had me loving you in spite of all the feelings I’d worked so hard to resist and everything I thought I knew about you. Baby, I couldn’t have been more wrong, and I can’t be more sorry. I just hope you are willing to give me a chance to show you how much I love you.”

His eyes sucked her right in.

“Lawrence, you are the most amazing man I’ve ever known. You say I pushed past your barriers. But I say you drew me to you. I couldn’t resist you, even though you worked my last nerves from the first moment. I am so in love with you. And I have wanted to tell you that from the first moment your lips touched mine. But I’m so scared. I don’t think I could take it if you decided you didn’t want me anymore. It’s my whole heart on the line, my entire being. And I still feel like it might not be enough. We come from such different worlds, such different backgrounds.”

As she spoke, she made peace with her decision. He shook his head and pulled her closer to him. “If you love me half as much as I love you, then none of that matters. Do you really love me, baby?”

The strength of his embrace made her feel safe and secure. She loved him even more. “Yes. I do. And I’ll stay in Jersey so that we can give our relationship a chance. But I think it would be best if I sublet Samantha’s apartment and took the job at Hightower Security. I know you offered to let me stay here and help me with paying for my MSW. But I don’t want to be a kept woman. I can pay my own way.”

He frowned. “But I want you here with me. I see forever in your eyes, baby. We will make it last. This is the real thing.”

“I believe that.” As she said it, she realized she really did mean it. “But I still think we should have our own space while we continue to get to know one another. I’m serious about not wanting to be a kept woman, Lawrence. This is important to me. Your aunt already thinks I’m not good enough for you. Just imagine what she’ll have to say if I moved in and let you take care of me.”

“Aunt Sophie has issues.” Lawrence waved his hand in annoyance. “And you
won’t
be a kept woman.”

“I know I won’t because I’m not going to allow myself to become one.” She knew she was making the right decision. They were going to make it work, the right way.

He just smiled at her. “We’ll talk about this later. Right now, I just want you to say you love me again.”

“And I want you to say you love me again and again and again,” she teased.

“I love you, Minerva.”

“I love you, Lawrence.”