The Lebrus Stone (39 page)

That was until Sinclair came to stand beside me, oblivious to the heave of my stomach from having him so near.

"Look at him," Isobel said, moving my face with the pinch of her long nails, forcing me to acknowledge Sinclair staring at me with an ingenious grin. "Look at the man you accuse."

I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped I was dreaming; the scent of him was making me want to scream and hurl.

Gundulla whipped her hand away. My eyes remained shut, and I decided I could will it all to be a dream as long as I didn't open my eyes.

I heard fingers click.

"Bring me the book!"

My eyes flew open. Marsi was handing her my journal.

"No," I said, and without thinking I lunged forward. A heavy hand slapped me across the face. I fell to the floor, rubbing my burning cheek. The taste of blood on my lips brought me comfort, but also that same growing hunger for more.

I stayed still, wary of moving as I concentrated on the need to feed.

"Let's see," Gundulla said, flipping pages. "Useless." She flicked to another page and tore it from the bind. She scrunched it in her hand, tossed it away then returned to flicking the pages. "Ah, now, this is to my liking." She glanced around. "Would you all wish to hear the thoughts of a miserable descendant to a Fallion?"

"Yes, High Priestess," they said.

My hands were clenched so tight, I had cut into my palms. Blood oozed from the incisions, scorching my throat. I was half relieved I would be too delirious to hear her read my personal thoughts.

"Shall I read, Sinclair?"

He gave a small smile, seemingly defeated, yet nodded anyway.

She whirled around and stepped toward Cray. "Let's begin with you, darling. It is rather pathetic, but I shall like you to hear it."

Cray's upheld posture slumped ever so slightly. Kellice held him closer. Jess cowered behind Gal, her eyes glistening.

Once again, I swallowed back tears threatening to spill at any moment, and took deep breaths. My confessions were about to be aired among those that didn't have the right to hear any of it. My private thoughts were about to be spoken by the one person I would never have chosen to narrate my feelings. The fire in my throat blazed. I covered my mouth.

Cray,

As darkness falls between us, a dawn shall soon be found.

Once you had set me alight as bright as the sun, but somehow did not scold me.

You seeped right through and detached me from a cold and bitter night.

I clung to your resistance.

Like the trees and life surrounding me, you banished every empty sky.

Till you are here, there can be no return from this longing.

I shall remain alone and perish if I deny another kiss from the one who has come to save me.

"Bravo, dear, bravo." Gundulla cackled.

I didn't want to see Cray's reaction. The humiliation was enough to make me stay hidden by my hair. She continued her reading throughout the torturous pain seizing my limbs.

Sal,

I wish we hadn't fallen apart, that our friendship could have withstood the test of time. I need you now more than ever. But you're so far away, even emotionally. It's hard to believe you've chosen Daniel over me, that you've thrown away all we had and given up on our pact to stay together no matter what. You didn't listen to me that night. You didn't give me the chance to explain. And now I have nothing and nobody. Only enemies I never want to face.

"Oh, boo-hoo, darling." Gundulla said, flicking through the pages before pausing to read again.

Danny,

I didn't kiss you, you kissed me. I didn't ask to talk about the loss of your baby. I was being considerate to your grief, but it was clear you had nothing to share, only a selfish need to betray Sal, your fiancé and my best friend. I pushed you away, but you continued to force me down until I couldn't keep your hands from roaming places once privately mine. When you were finished and Sal found us together, you lied. You blamed me and accused me of flirting and tempting you away. And she believed you, she called me every hurtful name imaginable.

The wrong person was thrown out that night. It should have been you. But now you have her, and I only have her memory.

"I think you've read enough," Cray said, his voice close to a growl.

"I'm just getting to the important part, darling," Gundulla said, seethingly. "That was simply to whet our appetite." She cleared her throat.

I aborted the baby. It was the only way to finally forget what happened with Danny.

It's been erased from my life, but never from my mind.

Something slapped to the ground, perhaps my journal. I kept my head down, concentrating on the burning sensation in my chest and throat. The pain was actually helping me to care less about what she was revealing.

"Very well," Gundulla said to someone, "I know the rest by heart."

She yanked my head back by my hair. I winced, unable to do much more with the fire climbing higher up my throat. Cray hurried toward us.

"Stop there." She held up her hand to him. "Or I will do much worse to this pretty little face of hers."

"What's the point?" Cray snapped. "You've gotten what you wanted."

"Cray, return to Kellice," she said. "She needs you more than I." She tossed me aside. "I should have known you still harbored feelings for the wretch. You did well convincing us otherwise to keep Kellice from hurting her. Do you never learn, Cray? She will betray you, as will every Fallion. They can never be trusted."

Kellice looked close to tears. Cray glanced at me. "I don't see why you have to taunt her like this?"

"Because she must learn," Clias interrupted, kissing the top of Marsi's hand before stepping into the circle.

Clias's sideways glance at Sinclair wasn't appreciative. It was clear they hated each other. "She must conform to our duty and lead us to our rightful paths." He patted Cray fatherly on the back. Cray shrugged away. "After all, she is to be the mother of your child."

Cray stepped away from Clias, tight fisted and red faced. "I won't play any part in this. Not if you continue to torment."

"My boy, you have no choice," Gundulla said. "As a member of the Dia'ac, you must remain loyal. Perhaps you will feel less obliged to protect such a traitor when you learn of her filthy ways."

"The only filth here is you and him," I snarled in Sinclair's direction. He cowered a little, maybe afraid of how Isobel would react if I told the truth myself. I didn't care anymore. Cray eyed me. I couldn't tell whose side he was on for sure. I gave up trying. He walked away, back to Kellice, but she moved away from him and glared at me.

"Marsi, you must read the next passage," Gundulla said. "I cannot bear to."

Marsi picked up my journal and flitted through the pages. After a brief silence, she began to read it.

I hid behind my hair.

Sinclair touched me in places that shouldn't have been reached again. It left me afraid I would be all the more tainted for it. It hurts to be so used, though more so to be pushed and destroyed into a constricted weakness. I need Cray, but I'm not what he needs in return. His loyalty seems somewhere else. Maybe mine should be, too.

A crash and thump resounded.

I peered up to see Cray smash his fists into Sinclair's face. Sinclair's nose crushed inwards and spurted with red blobs of blood that stuck to Cray's knuckles.

Cray didn't stop pounding his face, and no one intervened. Sinclair didn't make any sound or fight back. He just lay there with a manic grin, letting himself get possibly beat to death. Maybe that wasn't possible. Only the invincible could be so fearless.

Cray was finally dragged back. I almost fainted at the sight of what one person had done to someone. Sinclair's nose had crushed into his skull. His eyes had disappeared behind the purple swell of his swollen eyelids.

His mouth had split wide open, exposing bleeding gums and shattered teeth. He turned to spit, then rose to his feet, brushing down his black suit as if he had simply fallen and marked his clothes. I tried not to inhale too much of him.

"I haven't finished with you yet," Cray growled, elbowing Clias who had him pinned against his chest. Cray's nails still held chunks of Sinclair's face and skin; his eyes blazed red, perhaps turning into what I feared. The added smell of blood made me thirstier. I had to dampen the urge, more so for the fact that I wanted Sinclair's blood. Cray was either unaffected or had learned to control his urges like the rest of them. I obviously wasn't supposed to know how. It was clearly another way for Gundulla to make me suffer.

"Enough," Gundulla said with the raise of her slender hand. She glided forward and stood before Sinclair. His wounds were beginning to heal. New teeth sprouted, which he flashed with a sly grin.

Gundulla's hand lowered to stroke his now faintly bruised cheek. "Darling, you are indeed impossible."

He took her hand and kissed her fingers, breathing in deeply through his re-shaping nose.

"And I do believe you take me for a fool," she added. "You think of me as that forgiving." She countered his flickering glance my way.

"I think of you highest above all else," he said, with a nervous chuckle. "Why, Gundulla, you are more precious to me than the stone."

"I would like to see you prove it," Clias said.

"As would I," Gundulla purred, gently removing her hand from Sinclair's. "As would I," she repeated to herself.

Sinclair's smile fell from his face.

"It is about time you got what you deserve," Clias sneered.

"I can very well handle my own affairs, thank you," Gundulla said to Clias. "As you so certainly do your own."

"I have only done what has been for the best, Gundulla." Clias instantly became defensive, fraught with another predicament that held no relevance to what was happening.

"The past is the past and shall remain so," Marsi interrupted. "I have no qualms. Do you?" The question was directed to Clias. He let go of Cray who seemed to have calmed, yet no color had returned to his face. He hadn't looked at me once since attacking Sinclair, perhaps for reasons rooted to utter disgust.

"I have no regrets for choosing you," Clias said to Marsi. But the conviction seemed imaginary, disconnected from the vocalist.

Marsi's sagged mouth suggested she knew of its dishonest worth. Slipping from his hands, she turned to Gundulla and said, "Do as you may, Gundulla. I will stand behind your every decision."

"But not of your own," Gundulla quipped.

Marsi didn't respond.

Sinclair stepped forward, his features returning. "Do away with their pretense, Gundulla. Nothing can stand between us. Not even the lies of a deprived whore of an orphan."

Cray's hands clenched, maybe preparing to defend me again. But I didn't need him to. Not when he couldn't bring himself to look at me. If I was so invisible, there was no need for him to care what anyone said about me.

I just wanted to creep away. Though I knew any attempt would be suicidal.

"They lie, they all lie," Sinclair harped on. "You know they do. I am the only one you can trust. You can, Gundulla. Believe me." He groped her hand.

Gundulla stood motionless, unhinged by anything he said. I had a feeling a decision had been made on her part, and had been from the beginning. So did Sinclair. Gundulla simply liked putting on a show.

"I love you," Sinclair said. "Feel it in my heart." He pressed her palm to his chest. "It beats only for you, Gundulla."

His romantic slop made me cringe. I pitied even Isobel for wanting him.

"Don't listen to him," Clias said. "He has been using you all along."

"Quiet," Sinclair growled.

"Make me," Clias snarled back.

They moved to pounce, but stopped short at the sound of Gundulla cackling.

"My, my, how ludicrous," she said. "Do you believe I want either of you?" She cackled louder, holding her stomach. "Why, you are play things to pass the time. One of so many, I might add."

They both opened and closed their mouths.

"Marsi, you infamous tart," Isobel shrilled when she abruptly stopped her unpleasant laughing. "You have no credibility behind your vows to Clias."

Marsi's attempt to speak was hushed by the man himself.

"And as for you, Clias," Gundulla went on. "Do not test me. My patience is wearing thin with your flattery. You attempt to give, but leave empty handed. Whereas, I leave and take what is due. If Marsi were not my unfortunate sister, I would have killed you both with my bare hands." She turned to me. "Just as I destroy all those who prove no use to me in the end."

I looked away. Her greed and cold gaze was enough to make me want to charge toward her and bite down on her neck, drain her of every last drop of blood, even if it was from a bitter cocoon. The thought only set alight my throat. I coughed and heaved.