The Legend Mackinnon (45 page)

“What I meant was that perhaps it took the incident with Judd and these last weeks, for this love of ours to
grow. If we had gone when They first made the offer, perhaps our eternity would have been one of misery and mistrust. This time we’ve spent together has made certain our legacy is one of love.” He kissed her again, then pulled her close. “I would wish eternity with you, Maggie. But I wouldna give back this time we’ve had, short as it was, for an eternity of anything less than this.” He kissed her slowly, deeply, with infinite patience until they both could only cling to one another. “This is a love that will last for eternity. ’Tis more than most ever have. We are well and truly blessed.”

“I love you,” she whispered.

He framed her face in his large hands. “I love you, Maggie.”

And then it happened.

A blinding white light filled the room.

In her heart, in her soul, she must have known what was happening because she screamed. “NO! I’m not ready, no! You can’t have him yet.”

Though she clung to him, and was still cradled in his arms, she could already feel him becoming less solid.

“Cry naught, sweet Maggie.” He kissed her fiercely. “I am to fully ascend. Your love has released me from purgatory.”

“Oh, Duncan,” she sobbed shamelessly. She could feel only the lasting impression of his lips on hers. “Wait for me,” she whispered before breaking down completely.

And then he was gone.

C
ailean caught up with Delaney just outside the main room. “Finished?”

Delaney’s shoulders slumped. “Yep. No luck.” She put her hand on Cailean’s arm. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“Me too.” They’d all been in a morose fog after Duncan’s exit, but had ultimately decided that continuing the hunt was the best thing they could do. For themselves, and for Duncan and Maggie. “Are you heading back to Flodigarry?” Cailean asked wearily.

“I’d planned to, but my room adjoins Maggie’s and I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding. At the same time, if … if it’s over, I want to be there for Maggie.”

Cailean saw the anguish in her cousin’s eyes and felt the same ache behind her own. “It’s pretty late.” She didn’t have to add that it was probable that Duncan was already gone. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No. You need to spend time with Rory right now.”

“But I—”

Delaney’s expression was adamant. “But nothing. I’ve seen the way you two have tried so hard not to look at each
other since Duncan left. The tension between you is like a hot wire. You need to reassure each other.”

“I’m not sure I can after today. What if we never find the key? Rory has been shutting himself off from me these past several days. I think he’s afraid his curse will never be reversed.”

“But the feelings you get—”

“Are useless!” she snapped, then quickly got a grip. If she didn’t maintain tight control at all times, she’d unravel completely. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve felt certain we’d find it, but maybe I’m not interpreting it right, maybe I’m just superimposing my own wishes. Maybe—” She broke off and began to pace. “Maybe I’m losing what is left of my mind. All I know is that if Rory does decide that his curse is as immortal as he is, then he will pull away from me totally rather than suffer the consequences.” Her voice broke. “I can’t blame him, even if it is tearing me apart.”

Delaney pulled her into a hug. “I wish I knew what to say. I wish I could tell you it was all going to work out.”

“All I get are these vague, disquieting thoughts and this sense of impending change, big changes, for all of us. It seemed a positive thing, but nothing about today was remotely positive.”

Delaney gave her a slight shake. “Listen, I want you to go find Rory and talk to him, spend time with him. I don’t have your second sight, but I do know when two people need to be alone together. You saw Duncan and Maggie today. They were in agony, and yet they wouldn’t have traded one second of their time together. If you and Rory aren’t meant to work this out for happily ever after, then take what time you do have. You’ll never forgive yourself later if you don’t.”

“I hear you, Delaney, but it’s hard.” She released a shaky sigh.

“I understand,” Delaney said quietly.

Cailean heard the underlying confession. Over the last
week, Delaney and Alexander had sparred like the bitter enemies that the Clarens and MacKinnons had been centuries ago. But no one been fooled by their constant bickering. There was no denying they disagreed on most topics and both had a real problem with letting the other one be the leader, something which they’d been teased about mercilessly by Duncan and found not in the least amusing.

But the true tension that sizzled between them wasn’t fueled by anger. No one had dared tease them about that, yet she knew they all understood it for what it was. They were all in the throes of the same overwhelming emotions; Alexander and Delaney were simply having a more difficult time coming to terms with it and finding boundaries within it they could both live with.

For all their protestations and debates, the two were, more often than not, off hunting for the key in the same general location. Cailean had caught them both looking at each other when neither suspected they were being watched. The heat and desire in their eyes would light a thousand torches and still have fuel to light a thousand more.

“Why don’t you take your own advice?” Cailean suggested gently. “You and Alexander waste too much time being defensive, when it’s obvious to the rest of us that you are dying for one another.”

Delaney gave a hollow laugh, then the smile slid into the most desolate expression Cailean could ever recall seeing on her cousin’s usually animated face. “I don’t know, Cailean. He is such a hard man to get close to. I know he feels this same explosive thing there is between us, but he can be so damn hardheaded and he wants to run everything and tell me what to do and—”

Cailean found her first real smile in what felt like days. “Not that you’d have any understanding of that personality type or anything.”

Delaney had the grace to smile sheepishly. “Maybe we’re
too much alike, I don’t know. But it feels like it’s because he
is
like me that he’s the only one who really gets me, who really understands what motivates me. I catch him looking at me sometimes, Cailean, and my entire body turns to hot mush.” She fanned her face. “He’s annoying and frustrating and autocratic and pompous and—”

“Stay here, tonight,” Cailean interrupted. “Stay with him. All those things you said about Rory and me apply to you as well. I know it’s scary and maybe it will make it hurt later, but like you said, could you forgive yourself if you walked away now?”

“God, I hate it when you’re right.”

Cailean laughed, but she caught Delaney in a hug.

“What about Maggie,” Delaney said.

Cailean stepped back and squeezed Delaney’s hands before letting them go. “Maggie will need us both, I’m sure, but tonight it’s probably best to leave her alone and let her grieve privately.”

“How can we go off when she’s alone and in such pain?”

“Do you think she’d rather we were alone, too?”

“It’s just so damn unfair.”

“I know. Go find Alexander. Do you know where he is?”

“He’s trying to clear rubble from the passageway leading to his old rooms. You know where Rory is?”

She nodded. She knew where he was supposed to be searching, but she had a very strong feeling he was somewhere else. “I think so.”

They made plans to meet at eight in the morning and Cailean watched Delaney head out of the main room.

C
ailean found Rory right where she’d thought he’d be.

She pulled the fur tighter around her shoulders, and stepped away from the stone portal and into the moonlight.
He sat in the same place he had the first time she’d found him here. That sunrise seemed ages ago now.

The wind was screaming and he couldn’t have possibly heard her arrival. Just the same, she hadn’t taken two steps when he turned and lifted his arm for her to join him.

She made her way carefully to his side, then tossed her fur around them, as he shifted his across their laps.

They sat and stared in silence at the growing array of stars. The sky was remarkably free of clouds and the temperature was almost balmy. Not warm, but there was no winter bite in the air.

“What are ye thinkin’ upon so hard, Cailean.”

His voice immediately soothed her and just as immediately it jacked up her fear. Something wasn’t right. “I’m not sure.”

That elicited a surprised chuckle from him. “Yer thoughts are so confusing ye know no’ what they are?”

She liked it when his burr flavored his speech, as it did almost all the time now since his reunion with both brothers.

“Something like that,” she said, feeling the relief of a smile curve her lips. But its warmth was short-lived. “I’m feeling sort of pummeled by all these feelings and I’m not sure I want to deal with trying to figure them out anymore. I worry that I’m leading everyone on this giant goose chase but I can’t stop trying because—”

“Cailean, stop.” He pulled her close, then rested his cheek on her hair as they both continued to stare at the night sky. “Ye knew where to find me, so yer feelings must be more on target than you think.”

“I knew you’d be up here because I know you.”

He turned to her then. “And what of me do ye know? Why di’ ye come to look for me here?”

His sudden demand startled her. “If you’d rather be alone, I can—”

“I dinna want to be alone. I came up here because I
needed to say good-bye to Duncan. And yet all I have thought about is you.”

She didn’t know what to say to that.

His tone gentled. “I’ve been needin’ ye, Cailean. And you came to me.”

“It was Delaney who made me come find you.”

Rory scowled. “Well, you’ll forgive me if I dinna seek her out to thank her.”

Cailean smiled, craving the much-needed warmth it brought her. Rory and Delaney made a great show of seeing who could out-insult the other, but she sensed that underneath it there was a growing respect for one another, grudging though it may be. “She was worried about you.” At his snort, she added, “Alexander, too.”

“Worried that she won’t have a sparring partner perhaps. The two of them are more suited for each other than any two people I’ve met. Surprised they haven’t killed each other. But she does keep him from sticking his nose in my business every second, so for that I suppose I do owe her a great debt.”

“Not that you’d ever share that with her.”

“And dinna be tellin’ her yerself either, or there will be no livin’ wi’ her.”

Cailean laughed. “And ruin all the fun? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She noticed he kept his hold firmly around her. Cailean pulled that feeling of security around her even more tightly than the blanket and used the strength it gave her to say what was on her mind. “I feel like you’ve been pulling away from me. It scares me.”

He looked at her with honest surprise on his face. “How can ye say that? I’m all but on top of ye.”

“I don’t mean physically. I mean emotionally.”

“Dinna go and get scientific on me, Cailean, it’s been a very hard day for all of us and I—”

“You really need to listen to me. We’ve been physically close. A lot. And I revel in that connection, Rory, I do. But it’s in all the other ways. You don’t look at me for very long. It’s as if you’re afraid I’ll see something you don’t want me to see. I feel like a freak enough as it is and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me in any way. But it hurts when you close yourself off like that. I’m not just a Claren Key. I’m a woman and that’s who it hurts. It would be easy for me to let you do that, to pull away myself. After today, I thought maybe I’d do just that. But Delaney said I should fight for this time we have, that we should—”

“Delaney says, Delaney says,” he exploded suddenly. “What d’
you
say?”

“I say I love you,” she shouted back. Then they both sat back from one another, as the words hung there between them. Those words she had said before, those words he had shown her in every possible way that he felt too, but had never once spoken. “I witnessed perhaps the most wrenching scene of my life today when Maggie and Duncan said their good-byes. It made my heart hurt so bad I thought I wouldn’t survive it, and that terrified me.”

Rory’s expression was totally unreadable. “Why would it terrify you?”

She hadn’t missed the return to his excruciatingly correct English accent. “You’re doing it right now.”

“Doing what? Asking you a question?”

“Distancing yourself. It scared you, too, didn’t it? This whole week, the sensation of time ticking away, all of it.” She worked hard to keep her voice steady and try her best to explain it. “It terrified me because I feel those same strong emotions for you that I saw in Duncan and Maggie and because I have this feeling, this sick, dreadful, nauseating feeling that our time will come just as theirs did and I’m not certain I can bear it. Maybe you feel that too and it’s why you’re pulling back. Maybe that’s why there is
always this part of you that is tucked away. I wish I could do that, keep one part of me safe and whole, to cling to later when the rest shatters around my feet. But I can’t step back from this, from what I feel. And maybe that is what scared me the most. Knowing that I’ve given all of myself, everything that matters, over to a man who might not want to keep it.”