The Lies That Save Us (The Broken Heart Series) (10 page)

“Wait!” cried Alexa jumping up and running to her dad’s room.  “Pictures!  There are pictures in boxes in Dad’s bedroom with random numbers on them…”

Her voice trailed off as she ran down the hall and into the bedroom.

She brought back the box and they pulled out the pictures, matching them to the numbers in the back of the book.  There were ten books and fourteen photos with numbers.  Ten of the photos appeared to match up with numbers in the book, but four of the pictures had no corresponding book.  They checked all the remaining books in the set and none of them had numbers, so they stuck them in the front of the book numbered one for safe keeping.

It was getting to be dinner time and Alexa heard Cayman’s stomach rumble.

“Let’s go into town and get some dinner.  I’m hungry, you’re hungry and we need a break.”

They did need a break.  As they drove away, Alexa looked back at the house.  There were eyes there, she could feel it, eyes that were watching them.  She looked at Cayman but got no hint he was concerned at all.  She shrugged it off, thinking with a smile that maybe it was her dad, happy she’d been able to at least feel him there in the books they’d once read together.  She changed her mind, however, when she felt those same eyes on her as they drove down the road and into town.  These were not the loving eyes of her father.

Chapter Twelve

Cayman and Alexa stopped in at a little Mom and Pop diner, which made Alexa feel right at home.  She enjoyed watching the waitresses, looking at the décor and comparing it to her little diner in Startup.  She and Cayman visited about her diner while they waited for their food to come. The subject turned from the diner to Cayman’s family.

“So…what was it like growing up with
three
boys in the family?  I can’t even imagine having a brother, let alone three of them.”

Cayman’s face lit up.

“It was awesome.  When we weren’t trying to kill each other, we were best buds, all of us.  I would have to say we were friends more than enemies, but there were a few times I would like to have done one or both of them in.  Especially being the oldest.”

Alexa chuckled.  “Someone to actually fight with…it had to have been fun even in the bad times.”

“Oh, it was definitely fun, and getting together now is even better.  We all sit around and re-visit the goofy things we did and the times when we made each other the angriest, laughed the hardest, hid the longest.  It was fun then, and it’s even more so now.”

Alexa looked down at her food, her eyes studying the food on her plate.

“Hey,” said Cayman softly, “what’s the matter?”

“Sometimes when I would watch the kids at school meet up with a brother or sister to catch the bus or walk home, I wondered what that would be like.”  She looked up and smiling, said, “But, don’t get me wrong.  My dad and I had an awesome relationship.  He was a great dad, and he would play with me like a little girl when I was very small.  He was never bored, never put up a fuss.  When he was home, he was all mine, and he let me know that.  So, really, there are things we give up on both sides of that fence, eh?”

“Very true.  I had to share my dad with two other boys, but you’re right.  It all works out somehow.”  Cayman went back to eating his steak and potatoes, and Alexa did the same. 

They chatted now and then about the trip, and joked with each other about the fun and the mishaps.  It was a good meal and they enjoyed one another’s company.

They stood to go and Cayman started to pull out his wallet.

“Not this time, mister,” smiled Alexa, “It’s my turn to pay.”

He could see by the look on her face he wasn’t going to change her mind so he stepped back and let her pay the check.  He did however sneak back to the table and leave a tip.

They walked to the car hand in hand.  He bent to open the door and kissed her so softly it made her heart back flip into her stomach and sit there, on top of all the food she’d just eaten.

“You are one amazing woman, Alexa.”  He said, smiling and staring deeply into her eyes.  The green in his eyes was mesmerizing.

She smiled at him as he released her and helped her into the car.  “So, do you paint that green into your eyes every morning, or is that natural?”

Cayman blushed and shut the car door with a dismissive snort.  He walked around to his side, slid into the seat and started the car.  As they drove along Alexa pointed out places she would go with her friends or with her dad.  They took the long way home so she could show Cayman some of the places she frequented as a kid.  It was fun remembering and Cayman seemed to genuinely be enjoying it as well.

As he turned onto Main Street to head back to the house he glanced at Alexa.

“So, how long did you know James before you got engaged?”

The blood in Alexa’s whole body seemed to freeze.  Her face fell and her eyes turned to frost.

“I’ve not spoken that name in over a year.  How did you know his name?”

The look on Cayman’s face said it all.  He knew immediately what he’d done.

“Pull over,” she said evenly.  When he kept driving she screamed at him, “I SAID PULL OVER!”

He pulled to the side of the road.

“Get out,
now
.”

It was his car, his keys, but he didn’t argue.  He stepped out on the road and she slid over into the driver’s seat.  “I’ll leave the keys in the car and have your things on the porch when you get to the house.  Don’t bother to come in.  Just leave.”

“Alexa, please, let me explain…”

“You aren’t who you say you are, you’re one of them.  You just needed to string me along to get as much information out of me as you could.  Well, good for you.  I hope you got what you needed, because I never want to see you again.  Stay away from me, and stay away from my diner.  You’re not welcome there, ever.”

She slammed the door and drove back to the house.  Tears stung her eyes as she made her way through the stop lights and turns, trying to hold in the heartbreak threatening to tear her apart once again.  Her mind felt numb, like her body was functioning separate from her head.  She turned, stopped, started, turned again and didn’t even notice the actions.  She hurt everywhere and nowhere at all.  She felt cold with hurt and hot with anger all at the same time.  She wasn’t sure she could hold herself together this time. 

Eventually she arrived at the house, and pulled herself out of the car forcing each step through sheer will.  She walked into the house, onto the walk and through the door.  Oh how she wanted to slam that door behind her.  She wanted the world to know how angry she was.  She just didn’t have the strength in her arms to push it that hard.  She had no strength left at all. 

How could she have been so stupid as to trust him?  Why hadn’t she listened with her head and not let her heart have so much of the attention?  The sobs were coming in great gasps now as she hurried down the hall to Cayman’s room and gathered up his things, stuffing them haphazardly into his bag.  She grabbed the bag and hurried back down the hall.  The pain in her heart was growing with each step, she feared it would take over her whole soul and she would be lost in a world of pain and heartache all over again.

This was the same pain she’d felt when she got the visit from the police telling her that her father was dead.  It was the same pain she’d felt as she watched James being led away in han
D.C.uffs, not even looking sad or sorry for what he’d done.  Pain.  More pain. And yet more, even more than she could bear. 

Opening her front door she tossed the bag onto the porch and shut the door, locking it behind her.  She leaned against it, shoulders bowed, hand to her forehead.  Somehow she had to get through this.  Somehow she had to figure it out. 

Or did she?  Couldn’t she just let it all go and drop the whole thing?  Isn’t it enough she was alone in the world?  Did she have to know all the little secrets that took her father from her?  Couldn’t she just catch a bus back to Startup and begin again?  So many holes in her heart, so little of her heart left to break. 

She stumbled to her dad’s room amidst the anguished tears and fell on the bed.  The emotional exhaustion of the last week seemed to come to a head.  Alexa wanted to fall asleep and wake up sometime next year, when the pain was less and the love was gone.  She could forget it had ever happened.  That wasn’t going to happen, and she was left with questions asked only by her heart.

  Why do people do these things to each other?  How is anyone ever supposed to trust anyone?  The only human being she ever trusted was dead.  Her dad had been her life, he was everything to her, yet here she was, losing him all over again.  How many times could she endure this?  How many times did she have to re-live it?

She lifted her head to find the voice recorder lying on the night stand.  Picking it up, she held it to her feeling the despair and loss even more keenly.  It was all she had of her father now.  She turned on the recording and listened to her dad’s voice speaking to her.  It was still nonsense, but it was nonsense from her dad, and she needed to hear his voice right now.  She didn’t even listen to the words, just the voice.  She listened to the different tones of his voice, his soft laughs and stern warnings.  Warnings?  She played it back again, but it was just gibberish, making no sense whatsoever.  But she could remember that tone when she was heading out the door with her friends. 

“You be careful out there, Alexa.  You know what time your curfew is, right….?” 

The words faded slowly in her mind as she saw herself smile at him and wave him off.

  “Oh, Daddy, I know when curfew is.  I’ll be careful.  It
is
ok if I have fun, though, right?” 

She watched the replay in her mind as her dad raised a finger and pointed it at her.

“Absolutely not.  NO fun.  Have I taught you nothing?” 

Alexa laughed and slowly shut the door.  She shut
…the door.  Her dad was on the other side of the door, and the door was closed.  The image of the closed door faded and Alexa sobbed longer and harder than she had before.

She held the voice recorder in both hands close to her chest.  Her eyes were closed and she felt her lungs would burst at the wracking sobs that flew from her throat. 

Alexa soon fell into the sweet oblivion of sleep.  She dreamed she was dancing with her father.  It was a Strauss waltz, the one he always played when they’d dance together in the living room.  She had on a beautiful red fitted silk dress that went all the way to the floor and he was handsomely dressed in a full tuxedo.  They twirled and turned on the dance floor, her feet seemed airborne as she followed her father’s lead through each turn.  Her father, so handsome, so happy to be with her, was smiling proudly at his only child.  Her heart was light again, the pain was gone.  She was with her father now, and nothing could change that.  She was happy, so happy….

Suddenly, all the red drained from her dress and ended in a puddle on the floor.  She gasped as she stared at her white dress, the music stopped, the hall was silent, a gunshot rang out.  Her eyes moved to the red stain on the floor and she gasped again.  In the middle of the red puddle was her father, face blown away, body strewn awkwardly in its death pose.  Alexa screamed and screamed.  No one was coming, what was she to do?  She continued screaming, hoping someone would hear her.  However, no one heard her.  She stood there, alone on the dance floor, her father dead before her, still screaming again and again and again.  She woke herself up trying to shout, but all that was coming out of her mouth was forced, empty air.

Alexa’s eyes were swollen from the tears, she was breathing hard and her body was sweaty.  She sat up and put her hand on the bed to steady herself.  As her hand touched the bed, she felt something cold beneath it and jumped in alarm.  She looked down and saw the DVD she’d set aside.  How did it get on her bed?  It was supposed to be on her nightstand.

She picked it up and pulled the DVD out of the case.  Checking the back she could see it wasn’t blank, so she picked it up and walked to the living room.  It was dark outside now, she didn’t know how long she’d slept.  She put the DVD in the player and pushed play.  She walked to the couch and sat down.

She gazed to the window, wondering if Cayman’s things were still on the porch, but checking would mean showing herself to the world, and she couldn’t, not yet.  She didn’t care if his things were gone. 

She turned back to the TV and a cry escaped her lips as her father began to talk to her from the screen. 

Chapter Thirteen

“Honey, if you’re watching this, I’m either dead or missing, or both.  I have put some people in your life to watch over you for me.  These are good people.  I’m hoping there is a young man with you by the name of Cayman Richards, and if you’re the same Alexa I raised, you are suspicious and unsure of him.  I want to put your mind at ease.  He is a good man and you can trust him Alexa.  You’re old dad says so.”

Alexa’s hand went to her mouth as she struggled to breath.  “Oh Daddy, it’s too late.”

“Now, for the hard part,” he continued.  “I was never fully open and honest with you about what I did for a living, Alexa.  I didn’t exactly own my own business.  There are all kinds of reasons why I didn’t tell you the truth, but trust me when I tell you, it was for your own safety.  Telling you what I’m about to tell you is going to put you at risk, but I need your help.  If you’re watching this DVD then I didn’t get a chance to finish my mission, and you have to know these things to be able to help.”

“I was part of a Special Ops team associated with the FBI.  The name of that team doesn’t matter, but what I am about to say does.  I need you to listen to me, and listen well.  There may be men trying to get to you, to get information you don’t have.  They will not hesitate to kill you, Alexa and they will stop at nothing to pick your brain.  They may think I told you things that I did not tell you.  In not telling you these things, I fear all I accomplished was to put you into harm’s way after all.  If they are following you, then they don’t know you have nothing to tell them.  This is not good.  If they get to you, give them any information you can think of.  Tell them everything you’ve found so far.  It may save your life.”

“I’m hoping by now you’ve found the photograph.  The man standing outside the car in the picture is James.  He was part of the drug ring we were trying to stop.  I suspected he may be, but didn’t know for sure until that day in the desert when I saw him.  We’ve tried to convict the leaders of this ring a dozen times and they beat the charges every time.  However, that photo is the key to putting them away for life.  You MUST get the picture to my field office in Washington
D.C..  Give it to no one but Jonathan Truseau.  If anyone else says they’ll take the photo to him, tell them no.  They can’t make you give it to them, Alexa, and as long as Cayman is with you, they won’t try. Jonathan Truseau, Alexa.  Remember the name and give the photo to no one else.”

She moaned at this and squeezed her eyes shut, covering them with her hands.  Her dad continued.

“I can’t tell you more about the picture than I have, and I may have said too much.  Just get it to Washington…get it to Jonathan.  Use Cayman any way you need to.  He’s an excellent agent and he
will
keep you safe.  Don’t be too hard on him, Alexa, he’s been told to keep what he knows to himself.  I know I taught you a lot about keeping yourself safe, but Cayman is a perfect choice for a bodyguard.  Keep him close to you.  He’ll get you safely to D.C..”

“Cayman and his brothers are all part of the same Special Ops team that I’m on.  I’ve worked with his father for years, he’s on the team as well.  They are all good people, Alexa.  Cayman is a good man.  We’ve worked many missions together, and I trust him, not only with my life, but now with yours as well.”

“You have undoubtedly found the cipher I left for you.  I know it makes no sense, but take the books, the recording and the pictures from the box in the bedroom (you found those, right?) with you and give them to Jonathan, and only Jonathan along with the photo from the album.  The photo is the key, Alexa, without it the cipher is useless.  Make sure they stay together and are delivered together.”

I made sure in the event of my death there were eyes on the house at all times with instructions that you were to be the one to get the information to
D.C..  I did this because I left the picture in your possession.  I knew you would one day come back to the house and put the pieces together, at least enough to know there was something there.  I didn’t want the information stolen from the house, so I ordered a watch posted 24/7.  They will remain there until the information is removed by you and Cayman, and he dismisses them.”

“I love you, Princess.  There is so much I want to tell you, so many things I want to say, but I have to make sure above everything else, you’re safe.  Please know I’m so sorry our time was cut short.  Where ever I am, just know I’m missing you terribly.”

The screen went dark and then to snow.

“Daddy…” Alexa whispered at the empty screen.  She put her head in her hands, and then suddenly realized she was on her own.  Cayman was gone, by her own doing and she was going to need to get to the airport on her own.

She stood to get her pistol out of her backpack and her eye caught the silhouette of a man standing in the alcove at the front door. Alexa jumped and rushed to her backpack.

“It’s me, Alexa,” said Cayman softly. “It’s me.  I…wanted to tell you this all along, but I couldn’t.”

Alexa stopped and faced him.  Her hands hung at her side, her face a mask of sadness and betrayal.

“It was all a job to you?  I’m just an assignment?  Is that how this whole spy thing goes?” 

At this point Alexa was beyond the confusion and frustration she’d felt in the past.  She was still reeling from the pain and heartbreak of his fake life and his fake identity, his lies and deception.  However, now she carried a numbness in the very core of her person, centered in her, a cold, dark, void. 

Cayman walked from the shadow and faced her, his face solemn, determined.

“I took you down the hallway that night at the diner because the drug runners found you and I’d received word they were coming for you.  I needed them to see you weren’t there, that the diner was empty. When I saw you, when I kissed you that night, yes, I was hiding you, and no, it’s not all been the job.  I can explain everything later, but now it has to be a job, one I have to do for your dad.  He needs this stuff taken to Washington, and he needs me to protect you.  I will not betray his trust.  I’m sorry, Alexa, but this is how it has to be for now.”

Her life immediately shrunk back down to the size of Startup.  She wanted to go home, to her small but comfortable flat.  She wanted to leave all this behind and forget the whole affair.  She didn’t want to love anyone, care about anything, want anything.  She wanted go back to her life the way it was and be perfectly…numb.  She liked it that way.  Numb was a good, safe place.