The Life Beyond (18 page)

Geoffrey, even with Quentin’s help, wasn’t capable of reproducing the cure, at least not with the little equipment they had. And now we only had one vial left from our break into the lab – only enough to save four or five Weepers. It made me sick to think that Geoffrey had used an entire vial for his tests.

After the burial, Joshua and I stayed in the graveyard and watched the sun go down beyond its walls.

“I miss the vineyard,” I said. And my old life. And Dad. And so many other things.

Joshua sighed. “I know. I miss it too but we’re safer here.”

He didn’t say we were safe. We both knew that no place was safe.

Chapter 18

“I think it’s finished,” said Quentin.

He sat in front of the laptop that Geoffrey had found for him on one of his supply searches. Quentin had been glued to it ever since. Our video message was running on the screen. Alexis had just finished telling people about her lost father, dead mother and kidnapped sister when Mia appeared. I sat up. I didn’t know Mia had been filmed too.

She smiled shyly into the camera and wrung her small hands. Then she started talking, “I’m Mia and I’m six. I miss my Dad. Mom told me he’s at a better place now but I hear her crying every night.” She paused and I had to swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t remember how it was before the bunker. Mom says we were happy and I had lots of friends. I want Mom and Sherry and Bobby to be happy again. I want Dad back.”

The picture switched to me next to Dad’s cross. Hearing my own message played back sent a wave of sadness through me. But somewhere else inside, I felt a flicker of pride. I hoped I had done a good job.

Joshua’s message came next, and then, to my surprise, Bobby appeared on the tape.

“You convinced him to record a message?” I whispered.

Quentin shook his head. “He came to me.”

Bobby avoided looking into the camera. We saw his profile, the sharpness of his cheekbones and protuding chin. “Hi.” His voice came out small and hoarse. He cleared his throat.

“I’m Bobby. I’m thirteen. I was imprisoned in a lab on your side of the fence where they tested the virus on me. I don’t remember much – just pain and fear. They turned me into a Weeper and sometimes, when I wake up at night, I’m terrified that I am still one. Sometimes I feel like a beast, like I want to lash out and taste blood …” His eyes flickered toward the camera, his expression twisted with embarrassment.

“Why do people do this? I hate them. I wish I had my old life back. I wish all this would stop. I wish I could turn back the time and bring back my dad.”

The screen turned black.

I realized that I had been touching the scar on my shoulder all through the film.

I dropped my hand suddenly. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it.

“What do you think?” Quentin asked. “It’s powerful, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It is,” I said quietly. I nodded toward the old laptop. “Are you sure you can hack into their signal? With that thing?”

“Well, we’ll see when we set out tomorrow.” He turned to Joshua. “If the TV tower you saw doesn’t work, then we’ll have to look for another one. But if we’re lucky … well, I’ve never tried it, but hacking into their TV signal shouldn’t be any more difficult than breaking into their data base. And anyway, this thing is the best we could find. I can’t exactly walk into a store and buy the best computer there is.”

Joshua’s gaze rested on the window behind which Zoe was sleeping. I put my hand on his knee. He turned to us.

“What do you say?” I asked.

Hesitation lingered on his face.

“There’s nothing you can do for her. Karen has it under control,” Quentin said gently.

Joshua nodded. “We can set out tomorrow after sunrise. It’ll take about two hours to get there.”

Suddenly a wailing started. It sounded like someone was being skinned alive. The hairs on my arms rose.

Joshua leaped from the bench and followed the screams toward the infirmary. I entered the room a moment after him. The blankets and mattress were smudged with blood and urine stains and patches of fur. An image of Dad popped into my mind, unwanted and painful.

Karen was on her hands and knees, and I could see something moving under the bed. Joshua crouched down and I joined him. Zoe, if that … creature was her, cowered under the bed.

Shreds of her nightgown littered the ground and the remains of one sleeve gathered around Zoe’s wrist like an oversized hippie bracelet. Her legs curled under her body, her arms wrapped around them, she watched us through wide eyes. Her pupils consumed most of the blue of her iris, making her eyes look black, but they had stopped weeping. Without the fur, her face looked even younger, childish. Her lips were chapped, her skin dry though it was no longer shedding and a scar ran from her right temple to her ear. She was shaking and let out small weezes with every breath.

Joshua inched forward and extended his arm. “Zoe.” The word held so much tenderness and despair, just to hear it felt like someone was squeezing the air from my lungs.

With a strange noise – it was hard to describe it, a mix of hissing, whimpering and wailing – Zoe pushed herself back, away from Joshua’s grip. Her back hit the wall and she pressed against it, her eyes never leaving him. Her gaze wasn’t hungry or milky like that of a Weeper but it held an emptiness that terrified me.

Joshua crawled toward her until the upper half of his body disappeared under the bed. “Zoe, it’s me, Josh. I want to help you.”

His fingers were almost touching her ankles and she hadn’t moved again yet. Maybe she recognized him.

Suddenly, with a screech, she kicked his hand away and scrambled back. She was fast. She jumped to her feet and dashed toward the door. Karen grabbed her arm but let go when Zoe bit her.

Joshua pushed past me. He wrapped his arms around Zoe’s waist and lifted her off the ground. She kicked, lashed about and wrenched her head around to bite Joshua. But his grip didn’t loosen.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said it over and over again, his eyes filling with tears.

Karen drew up a syringe with tranquilizer and injected it into Zoe’s arm. Slowly she stopped struggling until she hung in Joshua’s embrace.

“The sheets,” he said in a rough voice with a nod toward the bed.

I stripped the bed until only the mattress was left before I put new sheets on and a clean blanket. Joshua lowered his sister back on the bed and covered her unmoving form with the blanket. With shaking fingers, he stroked a few strands of blond hair from her face. He pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down.

Joshua opened his arms toward me and I came and sat beside him, wrapping my arms around him. He rested his chin on my shoulder, so he could watch Zoe.

“She’s gone for good, isn’t she?” His voice was so quiet I had to strain my ears to understand him.

I stroked his head, not sure what to say. “I don’t think so. Somewhere deep inside, your sister is still there.”

“She doesn’t know who I am. She’s scared. Zoe was never scared of me.”

“She hasn’t been Zoe in a long time,” I said.

When he stiffened under me, I rushed to continue. “It’ll take a while to recover her memories and reclaim who she once was. Maybe it’s like someone who’s suffered a stroke. It can take people weeks or months to relearn things.”

“Some people never recover from a stroke. What if Zoe never remembers – never acts normal again?”

“She’s young and strong. She’ll recover.”

“But what if she won’t?”

“She will.”

There it was, the lie I wanted to avoid. Joshua relaxed against me, some of the lines on his face smoothing. I didn’t regret it. If one lie stopped him hurting, just for a little while, then it was worth it.

Chapter 19

5 hours and 23 minutes since Joshua and Quentin had driven off to the TV tower. Still there was no sign of their car. Anxiety was beginning to worm its way into my body. I could only hope nothing had happened to them.

To try and take my mind off it, I decided to visit the infirmary. Karen was there, sitting on a chair, reading an ancient magazine she’d found in the mission.

“How’s she doing?” I nodded toward Zoe who cowered on the bed, not even glancing at me.

Karen looked up. “I still have to keep her tranquilized, though the dosage is getting smaller.”

It seemed to be working. At least she was awake
and
calm. Her arms curled around her legs and her chin rested between her knees. She reminded me of a beaten dog. But at least she was alive, unlike the other Weepers we’d found – unlike my dad.

“Do you think she’ll ever be normal again?”

“Only time will tell,” Karen said. “She’s been a Weeper for so long.”

The sound of an engine carried through the open window. I ran out of the infirmary and only slowed when I spotted Joshua and Quentin getting out of the old Buick. I flung myself into Joshua’s arm, glad that he’d come home safely, and gave him a quick kiss.

I pulled back. “How did it go?” By now, Alexis, Marty and Tyler had gathered around us. My eyes caught Tyler’s and he smiled. I hadn’t seen much of him in the last few days; he’d spent most of his time in the cemetery or his room. Rachel’s loss still weighed heavy on him.

“I think we managed to send the message off,” Quentin said. “But it wasn’t easy to get the technical equipment in the tower running.”

“Are you sure it went through?” Tyler asked.

Quentin shrugged. “It’s hard to say. But we did everything we could.”

Joshua leaned into me, his breath tickling my ear. “How’s she doing?” he whispered. By now the others were crowded around Quentin asking questions, which gave us some privacy.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Do you think I could visit her?”

“Sure,” I agreed.

“Let’s go now,” he said.

As we entered, Karen looked up from the magazine she’d been reading and smiled. Zoe was still sitting on the bed, her eyes closed. Trying to be quiet, Joshua stepped inside.

Zoe’s eyes opened and a wail shuddered out of her body at the sight of him. Karen rushed to her side, blocking her view.

“Sorry, Joshua I think it’s better if you leave. Something about you upsets her. Sherry, come here please, I need your help.”

I looked at Joshua. His face had gone still and he refused to meet my gaze. Without a word he left.

Zoe had wet herself again. She didn’t resist when Karen and I changed her clothes and stripped the bed of the dirty blankets. By the time we had finished, dull thuds carried through the open window. Outside Joshua was chopping wood, his bare back to me.

I walked down the steps and through the dark corridors, stopping when I reached the inner courtyard.

Joshua swung the ax over his head and chopped another piece off the trunk. His jeans were drenched and sweat glistened on his bare chest. His left side, arm and shoulder were showing the first signs of bruises. With the light shining on him the scars on his stomach and back stood out against his tan. With a grunt he drove the ax into the wood again. His hands were red and the muscles in his arms were quivering from exertion.

“Joshua?”

He didn’t turn or stop. I sank to the ground to watch. The ax came down on the wood.

Thump.

Again.

Thump.

And again.

Thump.

The next day Joshua tried to see Zoe again, but when Karen opened the door and saw it was him, she blocked the way with her body. Her lips were pressed together in disapproval.

“I … we came to visit,” Joshua said.

Karen’s stern expression faltered. “Joshua, listen, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“She’s my sister. She shouldn’t be scared of me,” he said. It hurt to see him so desperate.

“I don’t think she’s scared of you. Maybe you remind her of the life that she’d long forgotten and those memories scare her. It’ll take time for her to come to terms with what once was and what is now,” Karen said, her voice gentle.

“Do you think she’ll ever come to terms with it?” Joshua whispered.

“I don’t know.” Karen didn’t lie like I would have done.

“Please, Karen, just a moment,” he said. I’d never heard Joshua beg. It stirred a fierce protectiveness in me. Something I’d ever only felt for Mia or Bobby.

“It won’t hurt if he visits her for just a moment,” I said, taking a step forward until I stood in front of Karen. I’d never realized we were the same height. She’d always seemed so much taller. To my surprise she stepped aside and let us through, although she stayed in the room.

Zoe sat on the bed, her legs pulled against her chest as she stared at the window. If she was actually looking out or just caught up in memories, I couldn’t tell. She looked very human, now all that was left of her time as a Weeper were the tiny scars marring almost every inch of her skin. Her hair was chopped very short after Karen had discovered lice in it.

Karen had dressed Zoe in a white nightgown, meant to be worn by a woman, and it swallowed her small, emaciated body. She blinked, once.

A muscle in Joshua’s cheek twitched as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I tightened my hold on him. He didn’t look away from his sister, as if he was afraid she would disappear, but he squeezed my hand in return.

Zoe sat so still, you could think she was a statue. But at least she wasn’t wailing or biting. It seemed like, for the moment at least, Zoe was not afraid of Joshua. Eventually we left without Joshua having spoken a word to her.

“Let’s go to the beach,” he said as soon as we were outside.

“How far is it?”

“Not too far. Maybe fifteen minutes by foot. I need to get away.” He grabbed three guns and handed one to me. So far we hadn’t seen Weepers in Santa Barbara but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. But I’d have gone anywhere with Joshua, if it made him feel better. Already I could see that some of the tension had disappeared from his shoulders.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll just go find someone and let them know where we’re going.”

I found Tyler in the courtyard and explained the situation to him. It would be too dangerous to just take off without telling anyone.

It took Joshua and me a little longer than fifteen minutes but it was nice to walk for once. Not run. Or flee. But it wasn’t until we were actually out that I realized how much I’d craved that distance between us and what was in Safe-haven. Zoe and my Dad’s grave.

We walked past an old-fashioned clock that had long since stopped ticking. A sign said “Old Town” in intricate letters and in the distance more palm trees lined the street. It seemed to lead straight into the ocean. Yellowed and dried leaves the length of my legs littered the sidewalk.

Eventually, we arrived at a fountain with two metal dolphins for decoration. Behind it the Stearns Wharf reached far into the water. The wood of the wharf was green with algae and some of the boards looked rotten.

We paused to lean against the handrail, staring into the distance. The beach stretched out on either side. It was littered with algae, garbage, palm leaves and lumber.

“Do you think it’s safe to go further?” I had to shout to be heard over the wind.

Joshua took my hand. “I don’t think it’s dangerous as long as we look out for rotten boards.”

We walked past a booth where people used to pay to park their car on the Stearns Wharf. The gate lay uselessly on the floor. There weren’t any cars or people left now – except for us.

To our right lay the marina. Many of the yachts and smaller boats had crashed into each other, been washed up ashore or floated upside down in the water. We walked past the old tourist shops and restaurants. Beyond their smashed windows I saw looted shelves, broken chairs and tables, the floors filthy and encrusted with bird droppings.

Eventually we sat down on a bench close to the railing and I leaned my head on Joshua’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around my waist. The water lapped against the stilts below us and gulls screeched above.

“What now?” The question had been ghosting around in my head for the last few days. We’d stolen the cure, but failed to save Dad. Bobby had almost made a complete recovery now … but who knew if Joshua would ever really get his sister back. We had broadcast the video, but nothing had changed. My chest tightened at the thought but I pushed it aside. We hadn’t planned anything else. I felt empty without a purpose.

Joshua watched the birds, his brows drawing together. “I don’t know.” He glanced at me. “What do
you
want to do?”

“I want a safe life for us. I want a good future for Bobby and Mia,” I said decisively.

“That’s out of our hands.”

“Is it? Maybe we’d be safer if we tried to move to the east coast.”

“You heard what Alexis said. There are riots. We’d still be fighting; not against Weepers, but against a cruel government. We’d still suffer from food shortages; who knows, they might even be worse?”

“So what can we do?”

“I guess we can try to make the best of life here,” Joshua said.

“Maybe,” I whispered.

Two gulls dove into the water before our eyes and emerged with fish a moment later. They didn’t look like they missed humans. A little distance away pelicans dozed on the beach and behind them the mountains rose up. Despite everything, it was almost too beautiful to bear.

I lifted my face and leaned closer to Joshua. His hand came up to touch my hair. He breached the distance between our lips. The kiss was soft and hesitant like we had to get used to our togetherness again after days of uncertainty, grief and despair. I tangled my fingers in his shirt, pulling him closer.

“Sherry, Joshua!” A familiar voice carried over the wind. We pulled back. Tyler was running toward us. His face was red and he was panting when he came to a stop in front of our bench. He must have run the entire way.

Joshua and I got up.

“What’s happened?” My voice caught.

Tyler tried to catch his breath. “Joshua’s dad is on the radio. They got it. They got the message.”