The Light in Her Eyes (3 page)

Can I test it? I ask, as the man throws
a wad of dip from his mouth onto the pavement.

Sure thing.

He reaches into his glove box and
throws the keys at me. It's done with enough force for me to consider whether
he really wants to sell us the truck. I beckon Jenny to follow me with a
movement of my head and we get into the truck.

Why do you want this?

We need a new car before we hit the
border.

I start up the truck. It's an old
Ford. Perhaps from the 70s. Nevertheless the engine purrs like a beaut and I
press the accelerator. We lurch forward. The gears shift smoothly as we take a
few turns around the parking lot. I hit the main strip and gun the truck. The
ride, everything, is nothing short of amazing. Whoever the man is, he's done
some serious work on this. I grin.

It's good then?

Yeah, it's tiptop.

You think we can get less with
cash?

I look at Jenny after she's spoken.
Cash? How much do you have?

Oh, I've got plenty. I just don't
want to be taken for a sucker.

We get back to the parking lot and
the man looks a little perturbed.

I didn't say you could take it
around town. He growls, spits more dip on the pavement between us.

Sorry. You work on this thing?

Yeah. Completely redone.

It's a beaut.

He hesitates; I don't think he
expected a compliment.

Thanks.

You fixed it all yourself? Jenny
asks.

Sure did. His voice softens when he
talks to Jenny. Jenny leans in to whisper to me: I have enough money. Let's not
skimp.

I shrug.

It's up to you. I say.

She jumps out.

We'll take it. I say after I watch
her slip to our car trunk.

The man nods.

How you payin'?

Cash work?

He smiles.

You guys looking to avoid trouble?

Trouble? I say with a forced look
of concern on my face. What's that mean?

He laughs.

I laugh. It's always a risk with
some of these small town folk. His laugh, however, carefree, with a tilt of the
chin, lets me know I'm with kin.

You two having fun? Jenny now walks
between the two trucks.

I'm Matt. I say and step out of the
truck again. He steps out.

I'm Zeb.

I'm Jenny. She says, slightly
winding up her torso. Zeb flushes a little. He hasn't seen a woman like this in
a small town.

Ya'll headin' up north?

Yeah, to Canada.

Won't make the border before it
closes.

No?

No, got a place to stay?

The truck.

No place for folks just visitin'.

I glance over at Jenny who is still
clutching a bag that I assume has money.

Here. She thrusts it forward. He
pulls out the money and counts it.

Eleven grand. He says and eyes me.

It's for such a good job on the
car. Jenny says, twists and leans towards him.

He blushes some more.

Thanks.

Of course. Jenny reaches out and
touches him on his arm. She likes to see any reaction from men.

You folks want to stay the night
with me and my family? You can have some dinner and hit the border in the
morning.

I look at Jenny. I'm not certain if
we should leave a trail of clues like this.

Her eyes seem to be into it. No
need to start a new life without the touch of humanity.

We'll be glad.

We drive to his place, three
vehicles in a row. When we get there, it's a house nestled in trees with a
winding dirt road. Dogs roam the front porch and when I step out I smell pine
and dried skin. I see the source of the dried skin flapping in the wind.

Nice place.

Thanks. Built it myself.

I take in Zeb as he stares at his
house like it's a friend. It would be amazing to be able to build and fix like
he did. Jenny comes over and wraps her arms around my waist.

Beautiful, isn't it?

The dogs flock to Zeb, some growl
at us, but they seem to know we're with their master.

Inside is like a rustic cabin. Deer
and bear heads tower over us and I see a woman. Short, stout, almost like Zeb.
They kiss.

This is my wife.

Gretta, pleased to meet ya'll. Zeb
didn't tell me he was bringing guests. She says and gives him a look of hate.

Sorry, these folks needed some
shelter.

She shrugs and walks to the
kitchen.

Dinner comes out in the form of
stew and bread. We sit around a sliced up tree trunk.

The stew is delicious.

What are ya'll runnin' from? Zeb
asks, once everyone is fully into their meal.

I look at Jenny who half smiles at
me.

You aren't in trouble with the law,
are you? Gretta asks. She doesn't seem to be concerned about the answer.

Not really. I manage to say. It's
just that...

You need to get to Canada? Zeb asks,
then smiles at his wife who smiles back at him. This time her face has a look
like she's used to this, like kids do it all the time around here.

Zeb's brother heads up there all
the time. Hasn't come back down since the last time, has he?

What he do? I ask.

Nothing. Zeb says with a mouth full
of stew.

Oh come on now honey. It wasn't
nothin'. He shot at a deputy.

They were gettin' lippy.

Silence falls. It's between Zeb and
his old lady. I welcome the news. With family like theirs it's not likely that
they'll give us up.

Jenny swallows some stew. We're
starting a new life. I broke the law. She says it in such a childish-happy
manner that Zeb and Gretta grin.

Good for you, honey. Gretta reaches
over and strokes Jenny's arm.

I eat more stew.

They don't ask anymore questions.

The next morning Zeb wakes us up. I
stare at his silhouette before glancing at the open window. The sun hasn't
risen yet, though I can see through the window a black-gray sky straining to
turn blue.

If they're lookin' for ya, you
can't head through the border guards.

No?

No. Zeb stands above me. Jenny is
awake—I can tell from her breathing—but she doesn't move.

Yeah, you're gonna have to head
through the forests. Don't worry, though. Ol' Zeb will get you right through.

We eat, get ready and jump into
Zeb's truck. It's morning and the chill in the air makes me want to return to
bed. As we drive further up a winding road, I perk up knowing that there are
serious consequences to what we're doing.

Here. Zeb says as he steps out of
the truck. You two are going to have to head directly north. Don't follow any
trails. The border patrol has those marked with motion detectors. I'll get you
on the other side. Stop when you hit the first highway.

He hands me a compass.

As the truck backs out and
disappears, I glance at Jenny. She's shivering.

Once the sound of the engine is
gone and all we can hear is the forest breathing, I feel like a fool. What's to
stop Zeb from turning us in, or just leaving us here? We have our backpacks,
but we don't have any food or warm gear.

You trust him? Jenny asks.

I look at her. We hadn't really
discussed it, so I assumed she wanted to do this.

Why do you ask?

Because I feel like we shouldn't
trust someone we barely know.

A little late for that now, isn't
it?

She stares glumly at the dirt road,
and the brush that we are to hike through. She seems defeated, which doesn't
seem like her style. Then I remember that she isn't in her element here.

Well, I think he'll be waiting for
us on the other side. I say and take a step towards the brush.

What makes you think that?

He's not right with the law. As I
say this I feel better and remember how he hates the government. He seems like
the kind of person who would shoot up a road sign.

Let's go.

I walk and hit the brush. I don't
hear her footsteps. I make it through the brush and turn. The look on her face
makes me feel like a stranger, but she finally throws up her hands and follows
me.

It's slow going. At one point the brush
gets so thick that no matter how hard we flail at it it won't budge.

We stop to take a break. A machete
would have helped. That and some agent orange.

This is hopeless. She says and
buries her head in her scratched up hands.

Don't give up just yet. I say, half
angry because this is all for her and I don't want to see her lose hope so
easily.

I get up and use my bag and body to
push through the brush. Sweat pours down my face. I can smell my armpits
stagnating and Jenny right behind me. We make way, but are soon surrounded by
nothing but brush. We sit again.

I kiss her a few times. One hour
later we push through the brush. As we make our way through a pine forest I
hear the whine of a car driving on a highway.

Ten minutes later we come across a
highway.

No one is there.

We sit right off it, since we don't
want to be seen by just anyone. Then I realize the situation might mean we'll
never be found again—assuming Zeb is coming back for us at all.

Jenny rests her head on my lap and
we find a spot where the midday sun warms us up. A semi-truck drives past. We
should have thought this out better. How will we find Zeb?

I close my eyes and find myself
drifting off. Jenny's face is the last thing I see. I wake up shivering, my
teeth chattering. There is nothing I can do. The sun is touching the treetops
and it's already cold. I wonder if we can survive a night here. I feel that this
is the death knell for our adventure. Jenny huddles up against me and I wonder
why I decided to follow her, to become a fugitive, because surely the police
have figured out that I'm with her.

I look at her as her face flinches
at some unknown foe. No, she's worth it. No matter what happens, she's worth
anything that we will face. My heart relaxes at this realization and I think
about a time we spent hiking on some hills near where we lived and how she
would run me down for a kiss every three seconds.

Jenny, wake up.

She stirs.

What is it?

We need to get moving, otherwise
we're going to freeze.

She gets up.

Zeb isn't here?

No.

I really thought he was going to
help us out.

So did I.

She smiles.

So it's just us?

That's right baby. I kiss her.

I always wanted it just to be us.

We kiss again and I feel warmer. We
start to walk just off to the side of the highway.

An hour later the sun sparks up
half the sky and I've come down from my feeling of elation. I'm thinking about
the way Zeb betrayed us, or let us down, and I feel foolish.

The whine of tires sounds up and we
stop behind a tree.

I hear yelling in the distance. I
sneak my way up to the road and check what's going on. In the distance I see
the headlights of a truck. It lights up the darkened air, tree trunks, and the
road in front of it. There is no way to see whose truck it is or discern the
people in it. Then the truck turns and drives off. When it has disappeared, and
even the glow of its lights in the horizon has melted into dark, I stand and
stare at the road. Nothing and no one is around. I feel like an idiot. How
could I have been so stupid as to trust some random strangers? A piece of my
mind jeers my actions. I feel small and stupid. Now what? Walk?

Back at the trees Jenny is sitting
with her knees to her chest under a tree. She stares at the ground in front of
her and doesn't say anything.

It happens so fast that I almost
don't realize it. I tap her and she looks at me as if I'm a stranger. Her look
isn't hate; her face doesn't betray any emotion. Coming from a woman who is
usually full of life, this lack of passion hits me across the face. I feel my
heart shivering.

What's wrong? I ask.

Everything.

I can hear the footsteps of tears
forming in her words. She glances at me again and this time her eyes are tinged
with blame. Half of me wants to hold her, while the other half of me wants to push
her away, shove her and let her freeze out here. I walk a few steps away and
the wind forces me to rethink. I take a few steps back to her.

Like what?

Why did we trust that man?

I pause. Why did we? I knew that in
her words there was the implied fact that she was disappointed that I trusted
him. The blame blew towards me.

I don't know. I reply.

Of course you don't.

The wind replaces our words. I feel
the chasm between us, the strings that connect our hearts together are pulling
painfully away from us. I ask myself why I came out here with her to begin
with. Was it really love? I look away and try to think of the reason I'm here
in this stupid situation. There really was no rational reason why I should have
stayed here with her. None. A smart man would walk away from her right now. I
sit down next to a tree beside her. The idea of walking away and hitchhiking
back sounds especially tantalizing as the wind picks up and the cold chips my
bones.

Jenny has buried her face in her
hands and I can hear tears. I should be holding her, but have decided that I
would rather be angry with her. Her blaming look is still etched in my mind. I
look up at the stars and think of the way I used to live. I remember how it was
before Jenny. It wasn't so bad then, was it? I had a few girlfriends and they
were all fun.

A stifled sob breaks my train of
thought. My anger increases.

I had been dating a model from the
City when Jenny came around. I remember meeting Jenny at a cafe. Everything
about her had immediately pulled at me. My brains, my heart, my balls, had all
trembled and then been pulled towards the magnet that her movements and smile
were. I looked over at her. The anger was subsiding. The strings that attached
us were still there.