The Lion's Den (Faraway Book 2)
The Lost Souls Series
Forgive Me
Redeem Me
Save Me
The Faraway Novels
The Devil’s Playground
Short Stories
The Best Man
Finding Faith
The Dark Horse (an erotic short)
For Charlie.
You’ll never have to worry . . . your brain and your soul are extraordinary.
I love you.
There were times when I felt completely alone.
Even when he was standing right next to me.
He would tell me that’s ridiculous.
He would convince me I never felt it.
JAMES HAD SLEPT IN. HE
must be getting sick—he never slept late. My son lingered in front of the open refrigerator door, staring inside, which was a habit that drove Brad crazy.
“Close the door,” Brad said and ate another spoonful of cereal.
“Where’s the milk?” James surveyed the counter and opened the refrigerator door again.
“What milk?” Brad asked never looking up from his phone.
“The milk for cereal,” said James, and I looked at Brad’s bowl.
“You used all the milk?” I asked, and Brad put his phone down. He was suddenly the center of attention.
“Yeah.”
“What about the kids?”
“What about them? Make him some toast.”
I shook my head and found the bread in the drawer. “I used to make him milk from my breast. I would never finish the milk before the kids have eaten.” I tried to understand how he could have done it, and he was watching me as if I were crazy. Maybe I was crazy.
“I’m not going to argue with you over milk.” When I walked by, he grabbed my elbow. “I’ll argue with you about whatever you want, but not milk. We’re better than that.” Brad smiled and somehow swayed me. I softened at the glimpse into our old life.
“I made him milk from my breasts,” I said dramatically, trying to hold back the laughter. “What have you done?” Brad laughed, too. “No, seriously, since your initial DNA donation, what have you done for these children? And do not say, ‘I work.’”
“I picked you.” Brad kissed my cheek, and my heart stopped for a moment. They were the first words of appreciation he’d said to me since I’d quit my job. The first glimmer of acknowledgement, and although it was a half-compliment half-joke to him, it meant the world to me.
Liv’s legs flew well over her head as she swung in the backyard. The swings were always my favorite, too. I’d wanted to fly. Her hair flew in front of her face as her legs pumped backward and then blew behind her as she soared forward.
“I love you, Mommy,” she yelled toward the kitchen doorway I watched her from.
“Love you, too.” I took a deep breath. I could pull this off. I could raise these children to flourish, I could be with Brad, and I could have Vince. It didn’t matter where I lived, or that I only worked twenty hours a week at the police station. It would be more than enough.
“Watch me! I’m flying.”
“I see you. You are flying.”
Brad walked into the kitchen.
“You have to come see Liv. She’s swinging so high the whole swing set is rocking.”
He came and stood behind me, and we both watched our daughter as she soared through the sky. “She loves it,” he said, sounding almost sad. It caught me off guard. I thought annoyed was Brad’s only emotion.
“Hey, Brad?”
“Yes.” The annoyance returned.
“What do you love about this town?”
The silence behind me followed his breath down my back. It left me chilled with the familiar longing of isolation in its wake. Even in Brad’s presence, I felt alone. Or was it especially in Brad’s presence?
“Funny you should ask.” His tone had an edge of anger, as if he were pissed about something and waiting for the perfect time to fight about it. “I was thinking that maybe you’re right. Maybe we should move.”
I didn’t even turn around. I wasn’t going to ruin the moment of watching Liv swing with a discussion about moving. Brad loved it here. He’d made us move here years ago, and we weren’t going anywhere.
But why would he bring it up now?
Brad moved closer and swept my hair to one side. He put his hands near my collarbone and ran them down to my shoulders, massaging them with a foreign touch. The slight edge to his tone rested at the end of his fingertips as he pressed his hands into my skin.
“Would that make you happy, Meredith?” He tightened his hands on my shoulders, kneading the muscles beneath his grip.
“You’re kidding,” I said, challenging him, not wanting to pay attention to this conversation. Liv leaned way back until her head nearly touched the ground and her feet almost reached the sky. Brad’s hands moved up to my neck and tightened there.
“Just say the word.”
My breath caught. My instincts kicked in, and I exhaled slowly, not letting Brad feel the difference. His hands still rested around my neck, and everything seemed to move in slow motion except Liv yelling to the sky that she was awesome as she soared through the air.
“I’ll let you know,” I said with a controlled lightness. I tapped his hands, stifling the fear with a fake jovial movement.