Authors: Stacey Jay
“But what about the Muppet hair?”
“Sarah kind of has hair like a Muppet, don’t you think? In a cute sort of way?” he asked, so close I could smell the scent of cinnamon and apple tea and wet boy clinging to his hoodie. Nothing had ever smelled so good. Ever. “Do you think that will hurt her feelings? I thought she’d think it was funny, but—”
“I thought
I
had hair like a Muppet.” I stared up at him, breathless, a part of me still afraid to hope. “Because it’s red. And fuzzy.”
“Well . . .” He reached out, smoothing a damp strand behind my ear, fingers lingering in my hair. “You have hair like a Muppet too.” His tongue swept out to dampen his lips. “Does that make
you
mad?”
“No.” I shook my head, gently, careful not to disturb his hand on my face. “I love it.” The tears I’d been holding in spilled down my cheeks, silent and sweet, even as my lips trembled into a smile.
“You do?” His other hand came to my cheek, cupping my face. “Then why are you crying?”
“Because I love it. I really do.” I made a sound that was half laugh, half sob and fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him closer, knowing I’d never be able to get him close enough. “I love it
so
much.”
Mitch’s eyes were full of the same wonder that made my skin too small, that made me certain I’d have to grow a larger one to contain all the joy and amazement and hope and happiness being with him made me feel. “We aren’t talking about Muppets now, are we? I really hope we’re not talking about Muppets.”
“We’re not talking about Muppets.”
“Then what are we talking about?” he asked, as breathless as I was.
“We’re talking about you. About how much I love you.” Mitch’s face swam as tears filled my eyes again, but I ignored them. I wasn’t upset, just too full. I’d never known love could feel like this, like a never-ending fall into blissful possibility and coming home to an old friend all at the same time. “I’ve probably loved you forever.”
He smiled, happiness bursting out all over him until I could have sworn I felt the echo of it along my skin. “You have?”
“I was just too stupid to figure it out until . . . I . . .” How to tell him? What to say? How to explain a nightmare that began with a wish to undo something I knew now I’d never give up? “I . . . I started thinking about what it would be like if you really did stay away from me like I’d asked you to, if you weren’t a part of my life anymore. It was . . . the most horrible thing I’ve ever imagined.”
“Worse than breaking up with Isaac?” he asked, showing me the hint of uncertainty that lurked inside him, making him wonder if he was a consolation prize.
“It felt like you’d died,” I said, willing him to do what he was best at, to look down into the heart of me and see the truth. “And I wanted to be dead too if I couldn’t be with you.”
“That’s the . . . darkest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” he said, searching my face. I met his eyes and raised him a soul-filled stare, showing him I had nothing left to hide.
“It was dark without you.”
“And that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me tight, hugging me like he knew what it felt like to be lost.
“So say it back,” I whispered.
“I love you too, Katie Mottola. I love you so much,” he said, his voice breaking. “I love you a sick, disgusting amount that is probably unhealthy.”
I pressed my lips together again, trying not to cry any more. I didn’t want to do anything to interrupt the words spilling from my best friend’s mouth.
“The past two weeks have been the most miserable two weeks of my life. I’ve lost weight, my dad threatened to put me in therapy, and I actually went down to the Catholic school and got an application to transfer at the end of the semester.”
“You did?” I asked, terrified at the thought of BHH without Mitch.
“I did, even though it about gave Bubbe a heart attack,” he said, his lips easing that little bit closer. “But I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at you for the rest of the year and knowing that you’d never be anything more than my friend. It made me want to go emo and paint black teardrops under my eyes and give up funny shirts forever.”
I looked up at him, thrilled to see his lips only inches from mine. We were going to kiss. And this time it would be just him and me—no guilt, no shame, just two people doing what felt so, so right. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Then he kissed me,
really
kissed me, kissed me until I couldn’t see or smell or taste anything but Mitch, until my nerve endings were fried from the pure overload of awesome and my head spun in dizzy circles like the rain falling outside the garage door.
By the time he pulled away—breath coming as fast as my own—I was pretty sure Mitch was made of magic. Or maybe the two of us together was what made the magic. Real magic. The kind that came from loving someone, the kind that couldn’t be wished into existence and wasn’t always convenient but was worth every ounce of effort and every bit of pain.
“Come on, let’s go find you some dry clothes and make a birthday pizza.” Mitch slipped his hand into mine and pulled me toward the door.
“Dry clothes and birthday pizza sound amazing.”
“You stick with me, kid. I’ll show you all about living large.”
“I don’t need to live large. I just need you.” I smiled and squeezed his hand. “And clothes, and pizza, and some dry socks.”
He leaned down and kissed me, just once, a light brush of his lips against mine that warmed me all the way down to the tips of my sockless feet. “All that can definitely be arranged.”
And it was.
Acknowledgements
First up, a big shout out to Mel Francis for the
hours
of emergency brainstorming aid. Without her, this book would never have been born. (Thanks, Mel!) Also thanks to Caren Johnson, my agent, and the entire team at Razorbill. Much love to my amazing family, especially my adoration-worthy husband. And lastly, to my readers. You continue to amaze me every day with your pure awesome.
Table of Contents
Chapter One - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 5:25 P.M.
Chapter Two - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 6:05 P.M.
Chapter Three - SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 11:44 P.M.
Chapter Four - SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 11:32 A.M.
Chapter Five - MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 12:24 P.M.
Chapter Six - MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 3:54 P.M.
Chapter Seven - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2:24 P.M.
Chapter Eight - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 5:23 P.M.
Chapter Nine - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 10:36 A.M.
Chapter Ten - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 11:02 A.M.
Chapter Eleven - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 3:20 P.M.
Chapter Twelve - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1:15 P.M.
Chapter Thirteen - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 7:54 P.M.
Chapter Fourteen - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 9:15 P.M.
Chapter Fifteen - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2:01 P.M.
Chapter Sixteen - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 3:23 P.M.
Chapter Seventeen - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 5:45 P.M.
Chapter Eighteen - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 11:42 P.M.
Chapter Nineteen - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 12:32 A.M.
Chapter Twenty - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 12:43 A.M.
Chapter Twenty-One - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1:24 A.M.
Chapter Twenty-Two - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 4:54 P.M.
Chapter Twenty-Three - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 7:10 P.M.
Table of Contents
Chapter One - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 5:25 P.M.
Chapter Two - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 6:05 P.M.
Chapter Three - SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 11:44 P.M.
Chapter Four - SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 11:32 A.M.
Chapter Five - MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 12:24 P.M.
Chapter Six - MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 3:54 P.M.
Chapter Seven - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2:24 P.M.
Chapter Eight - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 2, 5:23 P.M.
Chapter Nine - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 10:36 A.M.
Chapter Ten - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 11:02 A.M.
Chapter Eleven - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 3, 3:20 P.M.
Chapter Twelve - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1:15 P.M.
Chapter Thirteen - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 7:54 P.M.
Chapter Fourteen - WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7, 9:15 P.M.
Chapter Fifteen - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2:01 P.M.
Chapter Sixteen - FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 3:23 P.M.
Chapter Seventeen - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 5:45 P.M.
Chapter Eighteen - SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 11:42 P.M.
Chapter Nineteen - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 12:32 A.M.
Chapter Twenty - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 12:43 A.M.
Chapter Twenty-One - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1:24 A.M.
Chapter Twenty-Two - SUNDAY, OCTOBER 11, 4:54 P.M.