The Lodestone Trilogy (Limited Edition) (The Lodestone Series) (132 page)

Shann fell in step next to him. His mood was oddly reflective, as if there were something weighing heavily on him. Her first instinct was to try to pry it out of him, but she held back, allowing him the dignity of marshalling his thoughts in silence. When he finally spoke, his words cut the night air like a knife. “I’ll be leaving you soon.”

Her mind reeled. “Leaving... why?”

“There are a few things I have to take care of.”

It struck her like a bolt of lightning. This was the end. The breakup of their little family. They had grown together, laughed and cried together, fought with each other and side by side—all for the sake of a single purpose, a single goal. To save their world from destruction.

Now that that goal had been achieved, there was nothing more keeping them together. Her heart clenched within her. She faced him, eyes fired with determination. “I’ll come with you.”

He turned away, and his voice cracked. “I’m sorry, Shann. This is something I have to do on my own.”

It felt like a slap in the face. “I don’t understand.”

He turned back and placed an arm about her shoulders. His eyes were misty, but his voice was firmer. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Alondo says you two are going to stick together.”

Shann nodded. “He invited me to go live with him and Hedda for a while. I may well take him up on that. But first I have to find out what happened to Gal—whether she’s still alive. The last time I saw her I made her a promise. I have to at least let her know I’m all right. Alondo said he would help me.”

“Good. That’s good. He’s going to need a lot of support and reassurance in the days to come.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
She was still trying to work it out when he added, “What about Rael?”

“What about him?”

Lyall had the look of a man who had walked into a room and promptly forgotten what he had intended to do. “Oh... nothing. I just... ”

Shann shrugged. “I imagine he’ll go back to the observatory and resume his position as Hannath’s apprentice, although... ”

“What?”

“Although he may have to walk everywhere from now on.” It was Lyall’s turn to look at her strangely. She chuckled. “It’s just a joke he told me once.”

Lyall smiled as if he were somehow sharing the memory. “He’s a kind lad. Smart too. He’ll go on to do great things, I’m sure of it. But he’s vulnerable. He lacks confidence. He relies on you for encouragement and protection. Be there for him, Shann.”

That’ll be difficult if I’m half a world away.
However, she didn’t feel inclined to argue. Instead, she changed the subject. “I expect that Boxx will want to rejoin its people at the Great Tree in Illaryon. Patris will be keen to get back to Sakara and start an uprising to drive out the Keltar and what’s left of the Prophet’s forces—if they haven’t already fled by the time he gets there.”

Lyall stared into the middle distance. “You know, Keris called Patris a survivor. She said he’s the most cunning and resourceful of all of us. Those are tremendous assets—if you can just curb that independent spirit of his.” He laughed more to himself than to her. “I never seemed to be very good at that. However, I have a feeling that you’ll do better.”

He appeared to be rambling. She tried to jerk him back to reality. “What do you think will happen to Keris?”

His eyes refocused on her and his brows knotted together. “How do you mean?”

“She put her heart and soul into fulfilling her role as Keltar. Then she turned her back on that way of life in order to join us. Now she has nothing to go back to.”

He disengaged his arm and faced her squarely. “You care about her, don’t you?”

She forced her eyes to meet his. “She’s changed.”

Lyall smiled and shook his head. “Sometimes when we think that the people around us have changed, it turns out that it’s we who have changed. You’re not the same person you were when I met you at the farmhouse in Lind.”

She thought of the stubborn stalk back along the ridge, still clinging to its cleft in the granite in spite of all attempts to dislodge it. “If that’s true, then I have you to thank.”

“Nonsense. I told you once that you and Keris were on different journeys. You were taught that you were weak—powerless to help yourself or anyone else. But when you ran forward and handed the staff to me in Corte, you made a choice—you chose to take control of your own destiny. Since then, you have discovered strengths that you never knew you had. Keris was trained to think of herself as invincible. Yet time and again she has been brought face to face with her vulnerabilities and has been forced to acknowledge her failings. Each of you has come a long way. However, your greatest challenge still lies ahead of you.”

“Challenge... what challenge?”

“The challenge of working together.”

What could he possibly mean? Unless he somehow expected her to help Keris find a new purpose.
What are you?
That was the question she had hurled at the raven-haired woman’s back as she strode away across the deck of Annata’s Reach. Keris’s answer had been as empty as the ocean itself.
I am nothing.
If the ex-Keltar was to rebuild her life, then Shann would have to help her find a different answer. She had no idea how to go about that, nor was she convinced that such help would be requested or required, but she would be willing to try if Lyall asked her to.

“When I was in the dome of grey mist, I saw her take my parents away to die. Yet later at the Tower of Akalon, when I was prepared to sacrifice myself, she refused to let it happen. She risked everything to save me. I owe her my life.”

Lyall’s faraway look returned. “Keris is like a spring thunderstorm. Nothing can stand before it. But it can be next to impossible to control, and sometimes it can cause as much harm as good. If you can learn to harness that power—
use it
—then you will prevail, no matter what you have to face.” His expression brightened, as if he had awoken from a trance with no remembrance of what he had just said. “I think we should start back. The others might start to worry.”

As Shann caught up to him, something occurred to her. A question had been playing on her mind for many days, but she hadn’t had the opportunity—or perhaps the courage—to pose it. Yet here, alone together under the gentle starlight, with the hu-man threat removed once and for all, the time at last seemed right.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“What happened to you in the dome of grey mist?”

The silence that fell between them was so long that Shann began to wonder whether he had heard her, or if he had taken offence.
Your inner pain is much deeper than that of the others.
Boxx had been speaking of her and Lyall when it spoke those words. Did their relationship give her the right to intrude upon the secret places of his soul? However, his voice, when it finally came, held no note of resentment. “I was offered something I thought I would never get.”

“What was that?” she heard herself say.

“A chance to redeem myself.”

~

That night, after standing second watch, Shann lay down on her blanket, wrapping it around her tightly to fend off the bitter cold, but sleep eluded her. She kept turning Lyall’s words over and over in her mind, as if they were part of some vast puzzle, yet try as she might, the pieces simply would not fit together. Finally, she fell into a fitful, dream-filled slumber.

A succession of familiar faces wafted through her inner consciousness. Susan Gilmer standing next to the three great globes, counting down—“ninety-eight... ninety-seven... ninety-six.” Suddenly it was no longer her; it was Wang, the hu-man who styled himself as Prophet, screaming the numbers at her
—“ninety-five... ninety-four... ninety-three.”
Then she was limping slowly across a vast, open space, desperately trying to get away, supported by Lyall. She looked again and it was no longer Lyall, but her father. Then her father and mother were lying motionless on a flat slab of grey rock. Boxx sat upright next to them, regarding her curiously.
“Get up. Please get up,”
she pleaded, but there was no response; their eyes remained closed. Then it was she who was lying on the rock, and Keris was shaking her.
“Shann. Shann. Get up... ”

The bright light filtering through her eyelids told her that it was well past dawn. She had slept far later than usual, yet she still felt weary. Keris’s voice was hard. Insistent. “Shann. Get up.”

She forced her eyes open. “Wh... what’s the matter?”

“Boxx is not moving. We think it may have passed away in the night.”

She propped herself up, squeezed her eyes shut, and then opened them again. “How... ?”

“We don’t know. Perhaps the effort of reviving Alondo was just too much for it. But that’s not all.”

“What do you mean?”

Keris stood, drawing herself up to her full height. “Lyall has disappeared. And so have the four components of Annata’s instrument.”

<><><><><>

Chapter 21

Shann finally roused herself and trailed after Keris into the morning sunlight. The scene was one of controlled chaos. Packs, blankets, and other items were scattered haphazardly about the camp as if they had been the subject of a frenetic search. In their midst the Chandara lay on its stomach, unmoving, while Rael and Alondo stood over it. The musician’s flamboyant red hat had miraculously reappeared.

Keris looked from one to the other. “Anything?”

Rael’s head was bowed and his shoulders slumped. “No. I think it’s gone.”

“How can you say that?” Alondo protested. “Your discipline is mathematics, not biology.”

“I know a dead creature when I see one,” Rael intoned.

“Why?”
Alondo wailed to no one in particular. “Why would it suddenly pass away like that?”

“You forget,” Rael said. “It was extremely old. Something like this was bound to happen. Yesterday it told us that reviving you would take everything it had. Maybe that action somehow drained its life processes to the point where it had nothing left.”

Nothing lives forever, Shann.
Rael had reminded her of that when they had discussed the Chandara back in Kieroth. She found his way of confronting her with unassailable facts aggravating. In this case, his remark had turned out to be prophetic.

Alondo looked from one to the other. “Reviving... what’s he talking about?”

“You were dead,” Keris said flatly.

“You’re joking.” Alondo blinked. “You’re not joking. You’re saying it brought me back to life... and then died as a result.”

“That’s just speculation,” Shann said quickly. She glared at Rael, daring him to contradict her, but the boy merely looked bereft.

“And even if it
were
true,” she continued, “it isn’t your fault. It wasn’t your decision.”

No, it was Keris’s decision. And she would have to live with that, just as she would have to live with Nikome, Mordal, and all of the other deaths she blamed herself for.
How much guilt can one person live with?

Alondo looked from one woman to the other. “Did you find Lyall yet?”

“No,” Keris said.

“Perhaps we should conduct a search,” the musician suggested.

“No,” Keris said again.

“Why not?” Alondo demanded.

“I think he’s right,” Shann put in. “Lyall can’t have gone far. He might be injured or unconscious. In any case, we can’t leave here without him.”

Keris’s slim fingers gripped her shoulder and the tall woman breathed in her ear. “May I have a word with you?”

She glanced over her shoulder. The angular face was impassive, giving nothing away. Shann turned back to the others. “Alondo, find a blanket and cover Boxx with it. Rael, see if you can re-ignite that fire. If Boxx shows any signs of life, let me know right away.”

“When you find him, tell him to get his tail back here,” Alondo quipped.