The Long Way Home (22 page)

It wasn’t hard to figure out why she was hiding her identity.

Cameron completely understood the fear of being judged against the actions of a parent. He knew too well how the sins of the father—or in his case, the mother—could burn into your soul and haunt every day of your life.

It occurred to Cam that Ellie needed to remember that she was Lynley’s daughter as well as that weasel Chapman’s. That she isn’t responsible for what her
father did any more than he, Cam, was responsible for his mother’s actions. Of course, it had taken him years to come to that conclusion. Maybe for Ellie, it was all still too raw for her to view the situation with a more rational eye.

Cam turned off his computer and sat back against the chair. Now that he knew the truth about her, what was he going to do about it?

It took him a moment to realize he wouldn’t be doing anything. It wasn’t his place to confront her, to try to force her into talking about something she wasn’t interested in discussing. If she wanted to continue living a lie, that was her choice, her business, and he didn’t have the right to try to make her confess a secret she wanted to keep. She obviously had her reasons, and he of all people knew how the sins of a parent could mess with your head and make you question who you were and how you felt about yourself.

Cameron had been there and done all that.

No, there’d be no confrontation. What would that prove, beyond the fact that he was clever enough to ferret out her secret, and that wasn’t who he was. He’d be respectful of her privacy as long as she felt it necessary to keep up the facade.

He did wish she’d come to trust him enough to tell him the truth herself, though, but he knew that he’d have to earn that trust, and it would take time.

Cam sat at his desk for a while longer, still trying to process everything he’d just read. If anything, he was left with more questions than answers.

Finally he turned off the lights and locked the doors and was halfway up the steps when his phone rang.

“What’s up, Jesse?” he asked after a glance at the caller ID screen.

“Just wasn’t done busting your stones about having to put out such a hefty sum to ransom Ellie this morning. You’re a good sport to pay that much for a woman you’ve never even taken to dinner.”

“I believe the record shows you paid more for Brooke,” Cam reminded him.

“Yeah.” Jesse’s chuckle had a smug ring to it. “But I get to see Brooke naked.…”

“I
WISH
you could stay longer.” Ellie stood in the doorway watching Carly pack.

“So do I. And next time, I will.” Carly glanced up from packing and smiled. “Assuming I’ll be invited back.”

“Of course. Anytime. No special invite needed.” Ellie walked to the bed, sat, and scooched back to lean against the headboard. “Besides, I’m holding the Porsche hostage.”

“Just one more reason why I’m glad I loaned you the sedan. There’s no way I could fit the paintings in the little 911.” She grinned. “Room for all in the Mercedes, though.”

“I’ll take good care of the beast for you.”

“I know you will.” Carly squeezed her toiletries into the suitcase and zipped up the sides. “I just wish I could have rescheduled tomorrow’s meeting. I really thought I’d be able to do that so I could stay a few days longer.”

“Who are you kidding?” Ellie laughed. “You can’t wait to get those paintings back to your house.”

“Well, there is that.” Carly feigned nonchalance
but the gleam in her eyes at the mention of the artwork she’d be taking with her gave her away. “I will buzz through that meeting tomorrow at the speed of light and I’ve canceled everything else I had on my calendar for the next week. This is such an amazing find.”

She hoisted her suitcase and reached for a jacket she’d left on a chair.

“I’ll get it.” Ellie stood and grabbed the jacket. “Got everything from the bathroom?”

Carly nodded. “No harm if I forget something, though. I really will be back as soon as I’ve finished with the paintings. I’ll clean the oils myself and see about having the watercolors backed with acid-free paper.” She paused on the way out the door. “Of course, your mother may have taken care of that herself. It’s hard to tell how old her paintings are.”

Ellie led the way down the steps. “I keep getting little flashbacks of her standing at an easel in a big room on the third floor of our house in Connecticut. There were big windows that looked out over the sound and there was always a lot of light there.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she did a lot of her painting here as well. Next time I’m here, we’ll search for clues.”

They reached the first floor and Carly set her bag on the floor near the door.

“What kind of clues would there be?” Ellie asked.

“The most obvious would be drips of paint on the floor. And you’d want a room that had a lot of light, just like you described. Then again, maybe you’ll find some supplies in a closet or notes, sketches that she later turned into paintings.”

“It seems there’s no end to the surprises this house holds.”

“I know. Isn’t it great?” Carly reached for her jacket and Ellie handed it over. “You know, I feel so much better about you being here. I admit I was worried at first, but after seeing your wonderful house and meeting your new friends—”

“I don’t know anyone here in St. Dennis well enough to consider them friends,” Ellie interjected. “And frankly, that works for me.”

“I think I may have already reminded you that it’s not fair to judge everyone you meet by the people who dumped you in the past,” Carly cautioned.

“It wasn’t just that I was dumped. It was as if I’d been collectively erased from the memories of everyone I’ve ever known. Like I just don’t exist anymore.”

“But you have a chance to start over here. The people I’ve met all seem to accept you at face value.”

“That’s because they don’t know.”

“And when they find out?”

Ellie shrugged. “I’ll be out of here before next summer, so it isn’t going to matter.”

“Is this the same woman who was worried last night about people finding out that she lied?”

“That was in a different context. That was when we were talking about me mining their memories for a book about people they knew.” Ellie shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “That seems actively dishonest.”

“As opposed to passively dishonest?”

“Something like that.”

“So it’s all right to pretend to be someone else as long as things don’t get personal.”

“What’s your point?” Ellie sighed.

“My point is that you have to live somewhere, El.” Carly picked up her bag from the floor. “You have to have a
life
somewhere.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Not saying it would be. But you can’t spend the rest of your life moving from place to place because you’re afraid everyone you meet is going to turn on you.” Before Ellie could respond, Carly added, “Anyway, you’re in a good place here. Whether or not you want to stay, that’s up to you.”

Ellie grabbed a sweater she’d left on the newel post, wrapped it around her shoulders, and opened the front door. Dune came running at the sound of the door opening.

“There’s my little friend.” Carly knelt down to give the dog a scratch behind the ears. “You behave yourself until I come back, hear?”

Ellie stepped outside and held the door for Carly, and Dune followed.

“You know, I’d been envisioning you in a house that was falling down around your head, no heat, no electricity, no running water.…”

Ellie laughed.

“Well, you said the house had been vacant at least since your mom died, and that’s been twelve years. I figured it would be a ruin by now. You do have lots to do here, but it’s a house that gives you roots, you know?” Carly stood halfway along the path and looked over her shoulder at the house. “It’s a place your mom loved, and that should give you some comfort.”

“It does, actually.”

“Well, if you have to start over, this is the place to be. Lick your wounds until they’re clean, babe. Rechart your course. Move ahead.”

“You sound like one of those motivational speakers you see on TV.”

Carly laughed as she opened the trunk. “Some nights when I’m traveling and I can’t sleep, there’s nothing else on cable.” She tucked her suitcase next to a pile of paintings that were carefully wrapped in sheets. “I still can’t believe what we found in your house, and that you’re actually letting me take these precious paintings with me.”

“If Jesse hadn’t confirmed this morning that they’re really mine, I wouldn’t have been able to. Fortunately for you, Lilly’s will spelled out that they all passed down to my mother.” Ellie opened the driver’s-side door for Carly. “Jesse said Mom’s will specified that all the contents of this house were to go to me, so there we are.”

“I’ll be pinching myself all the way home.” Carly turned and looked back at the house. “Who’d ever have dreamed that this house held such treasures.…”

“Certainly I did not.” Ellie looked back as well. “I have to admit this place has grown on me.”

“Find lots of other cool stuff while I’m gone.” Carly hugged Ellie before getting into the car. “Who knows what other treasures are tucked away in there?”

“That’s a fun thought that will get me through the winter.” Ellie closed the car door, then stepped back onto the grass.

Carly rolled down the window. “Where’s the dog? I don’t want her to chase the car.”

“She’s over on the lawn,” Ellie said. “I’ve never seen her chase a car, so I think you’re good.”

The big sedan backed slowly toward the road, then rolled past Ellie, Carly waving as she passed. Ellie waved back and watched the departing car for a few seconds before checking the mailbox and pulling out a few pieces of mail. She called for Dune, and wrapping her sweater around her midsection against the cool Bay breeze, went inside.

The house was as quiet as it had been the day Ellie arrived, as if it, too, missed Carly’s presence.

“She’ll come back, Dune,” Ellie found herself saying as she went into the kitchen.

It was too early for lunch but Carly had been in such a hurry to get on the road that there’d been no time for much more than toast and coffee for breakfast. Ellie put the dishes in the sink and reheated the coffee while she looked through the mail. There was some correspondence from her father’s lawyers and a letter with the return address of the prison where her father was serving time. She held both envelopes in her hand for a long moment before tossing them unopened into the trash. There really wasn’t anything he—or his lawyers—could say that she would want to hear. Maybe someday she’d be willing to speak with him, but right now it was all still a little raw. She just wasn’t able to get past what he’d done to destroy so many lives. If he hadn’t been caught, he’d probably still be robbing people blind. It still devastated her to think that her father was not the wonderful man she’d always believed him to be. As painful as Henry’s betrayal had been, discovering the truth about
what her father had been doing had been mind-blowing. She hadn’t grown up worshipping Henry.

She sat at the table staring out the window. Her enthusiasm for the day had departed with Carly.
I could start ripping up the kitchen floor
, she told herself.

Then again, she could start painting the kitchen walls. She had to paint the woodwork, too, but couldn’t remember whether the walls or the woodwork came first.

“Chicken or egg?” she asked Dune, who sighed and rolled over.

“Walls first, I’d think,” she reasoned. “If you do the woodwork first, wouldn’t paint get on it when you painted the walls?”

She looked down at the dog, who’d apparently decided it was time for a morning nap. “Of course you would, because you’d be using a roller.”

She headed for the living room, where she’d left the paint and brushes in the closet, but once in the room, she paused. The space looked so odd with the paintings gone, the walls now naked. The pale rectangles on the wall where they’d hung for so many years reminded her of a photograph she’d seen once, where someone had hung empty picture frames on the wall.

“Ghost paintings,” Ellie murmured.

She paused at the bookcase, one of the glass doors of which stood ajar. Carly had started poking around for something to read before she’d found the paintings. As Ellie moved to close the glass doors, her eyes were drawn to the shelf below, where a series of faded red leather volumes were lined up. There were no titles on the spines, so Ellie grabbed the closest one to
her and pulled it from the shelf. She opened the book and tilted it toward the window and the light that was spilling through.

Lilly Angelina Ryder. This is her journal
.

Ellie sat on the arm of the sofa and turned to the first page. Lilly’s handwriting was tiny and precise and in places difficult to read, and even with her reading glasses, Ellie had a hard time deciphering every word.

Today is my fifteenth birthday, and Rose and I are going to watch the sailboats race. Mother said I could go if Rose’s mother was going, too. I believe she will. At least, I hope she does! Rose’s brother told Rose that T.C. will be sailing with Curtis Enright and she said she just has to be there. It’s no secret that Rose is sweet on Curtis and that Curtis is sweet on her as well. As for me, if I get to see T.C. it will be a happy birthday indeed!

Ellie smiled. T.C. must be Ted Cavanaugh. Even at fifteen, Lilly knew what she wanted, and from what Ellie’d heard, Lilly and Ted had lived a long and happy life together.

Her phone rang in her pocket and she placed the journal on the coffee table while she answered the call.

“Ellie Ryder.”

“Ellie, it’s Cameron. I was wondering if you’d be working on that kitchen floor of yours anytime soon.”

“Actually, I was thinking I’d start on the walls first.”

“Don’t know that you’d want to do that,” he said. “You’re going to kick up a lot of dust when you do
the floor. You’d hate to have to clean those newly painted walls.”

“So you’re saying I should do the floor first?”

“I would.”

“Then I guess I would, too.”