The Longing (10 page)

He was silent for so long that Amelia could
hear the pounding of her own heart.

“Did you honestly forget about the board
meeting?” he asked.

Her heart skipped and she shook her head.
“No. Only when you kissed me.”

His nostrils flared and the anger returned to
his eyes. “Do you realize that you’ve just committed us both to a
marriage we can’t escape?”

Outrage swept through her. She hadn’t done
anything but answer the door! Humiliation and anger pumped through
her and Amelia clenched her fists. “
You
did that, Mr.
Grayson, when you knocked on my door.”

Of all the
stupid things Kyle had done in his life, kissing Amelia had been
the dumbest. He should never have gone to her apartment. He
shouldn’t have provoked her to kick his shin or touch him with
those soft hands or hover over him with her breasts in his face
until his mind had turned to mush. For God’s sake, the woman should
have kept her damned hair bound! A teacher wasn’t supposed to look
all soft and seductive or melt across his lap like warm honey.

A dead man would have responded to that
temptation.

The loud knock on his door startled Kyle. If
it was Boyd coming to demand money for his share of the mill, Kyle
would throttle him. Kyle banged his empty glass down on the kitchen
counter then went to the parlor to answer the front door. When he
yanked it open, Richard Cameron met him face-to-face.

“Whoa, Grayson.” Richard held up his hands to
ward off Kyle’s scowl. “I just came by to drink an ale with you,
not get pounded to death.”

After a half-second’s pause, Kyle snorted and
stepped back to welcome his friend inside. “I could use a few mugs
right now.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Richard closed the door
behind him and followed Kyle to the kitchen. “I came to see if
you’ve lost your mind. What the hell ever possessed you to buy
Tom’s lumberyard?”

Kyle stopped and stared at Richard. “You just
got back from Philadelphia.”

“Which is why you should have waited, Kyle. I
could have warned you off this disaster. You can’t go through with
this purchase. The bank is ready to foreclose on that
property.”

Willing or not, Kyle had to go through with
it. He had to marry Amelia, and tomorrow night he had to convince
Victoria Drake that he
wanted
to marry her daughter.

Kyle shoved open the window to let in the
cool evening air then took two mugs into the pantry and filled them
from a small keg of ale. Wait until Amelia learned she’d just bound
herself for life to the man who had caused her father’s collapse.
She would hate him. If she didn’t already.

“Did you hear what I said?” Richard asked,
raising his voice so Kyle could hear him in the pantry. “I’m
telling you this as a friend, Kyle. ”

“I know.” Kyle came back into the kitchen. “I
appreciate the warning, but it’s too late.” He handed Richard a mug
then raised his own in a mock salute. “I’m getting married.”

Richard snorted. “How many mugs of this stuff
have you had?”

“Two. I’m marrying Amelia Drake a week from
Saturday, and I’m resurrecting her father’s lumberyard.”

Richard’s glass stopped halfway to his mouth,
his expression stunned.

Kyle shoved his hair off his forehead and
sighed. “What do I need to do to stop the foreclosure?”

“Wait a minute!” Richard lowered his mug and
shook his head. “What the hell’s going on? You just said you were
marrying Amelia, but I saw her this morning and she didn’t say a
word about it.”

Kyle shrugged. “I proposed tonight.”

Richard stared in silence.

“You’re invited to the wedding.” Kyle clasped
a hardened palm to the back of his neck and gazed out into the
darkness. What the hell was he going to do with a wife? Before he’d
left Amelia’s apartment, she’d requested that they tell everyone
their romantic interest in each other had started the day after
Amelia’s father died. She intended to say that Kyle’s compassion
won her heart and that they
wanted
to marry. To avoid
scandal and upsetting their mothers, Kyle had agreed. But the lie
tasted bitter.

He didn’t want a goddamn wife. He liked his
life just as it was—unencumbered by attachments, free of emotional
ties that would strangle him.

Maybe he
should
have walked out. He
could have lived with the whispered speculation from the ladies and
sly grins from the men. The incident in Amelia’s apartment wouldn’t
have damaged his standing in the community an iota. Hell, it may
have inflated his reputation. But Amelia would have been the one to
pay for his impulsiveness. If word got out that he had been found
in her apartment, she would be ostracized. And his honor would be
questioned.

With a silent oath, Kyle damned society,
propriety, and his pathetic inability to escape the shackles he’d
just closed around his own wrists. Through his own stupidity he’d
bound himself to a debt-ridden lumberyard and a woman who was going
to hate him and make his life a living hell.

“Catherine hasn’t said a word about you
seeing Amelia.”

Richard’s comment startled Kyle out of his
silent contemplation. “Why should she?” he asked, wondering if
Richard was hinting that he knew about Kyle’s recent affair with
Catherine. “With Amelia being a teacher, we’ve had to keep our
relationship private.”

“Well, where does that leave Catherine then?”
Richard asked.

“What you mean?”

Their gazes locked for several tense seconds
until Richard shrugged. “I just wanted to know if I can bring her
to the wedding.” He gave Kyle a sheepish grin. “She hasn’t gotten
out much since my father passed away, and I know she’d enjoy the
reception.”

Kyle’s stomach knotted. He’d been a fool to
think things couldn’t get worse. He’d managed to elude Richard’s
dinner invitation, but there was no way he could refuse to invite
Catherine to the wedding without causing suspicion.

It took every ounce of will Kyle had to force
the words from his mouth. “Of course, Richard. I’m sure Lucinda
will be there, too.” If Kyle remembered right, Catherine’s youngest
sister was one of Amelia’s close friends. At least she had appeared
to be during their school years. Christ. Kyle didn’t even know what
company Amelia kept. He snorted at his own idiocy. Their marriage
was going to be a disaster.

o0o

“Mama, do you remember asking if I ever
wanted to marry?” Amelia noticed the look of expectancy and fear
etching her mother’s delicate features as she glanced between
Amelia and Kyle, who were standing in the foyer.

“Yes, why?”

“Well, at the time, I didn’t think I ever
would.” She tried to smile, but her lips were too stiff. “I’ve
changed my mind.”

For the first time in her life, Amelia saw
her mother's bottom hit a chair without an excess of hoisting
skirts and fluttering hands. “You what?”

“I asked Amelia to marry me last night,” Kyle
interjected, his statement straightforward but quiet and
respectful.

Her mother’s expression brimmed with
disbelief. “You’re getting married?”

Amelia nodded and glanced at Kyle who stood
beside her doing a terrible job of acting pleased about their
engagement. He’d worn the same expression an hour ago when they’d
told his mother about their wedding plans. Amelia had expected
Nancy to be upset or suspicious of the circumstances, but she’d
seemed sincerely pleased and had said it was high time Kyle shared
his life with a good, loving woman.

“But Kyle has already paid for the mill.”

Hurt sliced through Amelia. “He’s not
marrying me for the mill, Mama.”

“He’s not?” Amelia shook her head and her
mother’s brows furrowed. “Well, this is...crazy then. You barely
know each other.”

Amelia gazed up at Kyle with what she hoped
to be a convincing display of adoration, but her insides were
trembling. Unable to bear his stoic expression, she turned back to
her mother. “Since Papa’s collapse, Kyle’s compassion and kindness
have eased my heartache and given me someone to depend on. You were
right about me needing a man in my life, Mama, so I’ve accepted
Kyle’s offer of marriage.”

Her mother sagged against the back of the
brocade chair and stared up at Kyle. “What is she talking
about?”

“She’s telling you that we’re two adults who
are old enough to understand the commitment we’re making.”

Amelia’s heart ached that because Kyle wasn’t
standing beside her professing his love. But Kyle was a man who
wouldn’t lie to anyone for any purpose.

Her mother laughed with a touch of hysteria,
then shook her head. “You two are serious?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Very serious,” Kyle added.

Silence descended then slowly mushroomed
through the room until the standing clock in the foyer sounded like
an iron hand maul striking a stone. Victoria’s assessing gaze
shifted from Kyle to Amelia, then back to Kyle, then again to
Amelia. “Are you doing this for me?” she asked quietly.

Amelia would never admit that her mother’s
security and peace of mind was a major part of her motivation for
marrying Kyle, but a straight denial wouldn’t convince an astute
woman like her mother, nor would it be the complete truth. Knowing
only one way to convince her mother, Amelia cupped Kyle’s chin, and
planted a kiss on his mouth. “Does that answer your question,
Mama?” The astonished expression on her mother’s face matched
Kyle’s and made Amelia laugh, but she prayed she didn’t sound as
hysterically insane as she felt.

“Well, I...my goodness.” Her mother pressed a
hand to her chest and her eyes misted. “I’d always hoped for the
day when you’d make this announcement, but I thought your father
would be beside me and that we’d...that he would...oh, honey, he
would have wanted to give you away,” she whispered, tears pearling
up on her lower lids.

Amelia pulled her mother into her arms. She
glanced at Kyle and saw compassion pooling in his dark eyes and was
relieved that his heart wasn’t immune to someone else’s
suffering.

“I’m sorry.” Her mother patted her face with
her handkerchief and straightened her shoulders. “So much has
happened lately that I’m just overcome with everything.”

Amelia bit her lip. She was overcome, too.
With loss. With sorrow. With regret.

“When are you planning to wed?” her mother
asked, stepping out of the circle of Amelia’s embrace.

“A week from this Saturday unless it puts too
much of a burden on you.”

After a moment of surprise, her mother
squinted at them. “There is something you’re trying to keep from
me, isn’t there?”

“Yes,” Kyle said.

Amelia’s stomach flipped. They’d agreed not
to concern her mother with any of the circumstances surrounding
their engagement. If he broke his word she would kick him right in
his sore shin again.

“We want to make sure there’s no slight to
Amelia’s reputation because of my visit to the school
yesterday.”

Her mother’s expression filled with horror
and she looked at Amelia. “What did you two do?”

“Nothing, Mama. Kyle came to propose to me
and the board members found him in my apartment. That’s why we want
to marry right away.”

“Then you’re marrying Amelia to protect her
reputation?”

“Yes.” Kyle glanced at Amelia, but she
couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes. He turned back to her
mother. “I should have waited for a more appropriate time to talk
to your daughter, but my impatience has jeopardized her reputation.
Amelia accepted my proposal last night. With your permission, we
would like to move forward with our wedding plans.”

“Well, I...I’m shocked by your announcement,
but if you’re sincere, Kyle, then I’ll welcome you as my
son-in-law. Tom would have been...pleased by this.” Her nostrils
flared, but Amelia gave her mother credit for not crying. “We’ll
have the wedding here unless you object.”

“Whatever makes Amelia happy,” he said, but
Amelia couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or sarcastic.

On Saturday
evening Amelia met Jeb in the upstairs hall of her mother’s house
and reminded herself that because of her fabricated story, everyone
waiting below would expect her to be happy about marrying Kyle. She
wasn’t happy. She was heartbroken.

“I’m sorry your pa’s not here to do this,”
Jeb said, his face drawn and eyes tired as he slipped her fingers
into his palm and held her hand. “He would tell you how beautiful
you look and how proud you’ve made him. I would tell you the same
thing.”

“Thank you, Jeb. It means so much that you’re
doing this.”

He angled his head to see her eyes. “Are you
sure this is what you want?” he asked. “It’s awfully sudden.”

Amelia tensed, afraid that her apprehension
was apparent in her expression, that Jeb could sense her
reservations about marrying Kyle. Dear God, Jeb and her mother had
enough to worry about. “I’m just sad about Papa. That’s all.”

Jeb studied her with sharp interest and
Amelia forced a smile. “Really.”

“All right then. Let’s get down there before
I embarrass myself.” He hooked her hand in the crook of his elbow
and guided Amelia to the top of the stairs.

Amelia gazed down at her guests. Their faces
were lifted to watch her descend the stairs. Amelia’s mother stood
with Agatha Brown and Nancy Grayson at the front of the crowd.
Evelyn glowed like an emerald in her deep green dress, and Lucinda
stood beside Duke, looking angelic in her gown of sky-blue satin,
her pleasure at being Amelia’s maid of honor obvious in her smile.
Radford held Rebecca and stood at the back of the crowd with
Boyd—and Richard Cameron.

Catherine Cameron stood beside Richard
looking shy and uncomfortable, but it was the sight of Richard
standing in her parlor on her wedding day a mere week after
propositioning her that sent a brutal jolt through Amelia’s system.
Her heart thundered and cold sweat swept across her body as she
battled back her panic.