The Love Letters (20 page)

He smiled and turned the key in the ignition, then slowly backed out and headed toward the main road.

Walking back to her family, Marlena couldn't keep her eyes off Angela Rose in Mamma's loving arms. She could tell by the way her mother held her that she really cared for Luella's baby.
We all do,
she thought, refusing to think about whatever her parents wanted to discuss later. If it was about Gordon's family swooping in and taking Angela Rose away until Gordon returned from the war, well, such a thing was too painful to consider on Luella's burial day.

G
ordon's aunt Patricia just arrived,” Mamma whispered when she found Marlena in the ladies' room changing Angela Rose. “Your father wants me to invite her to sit with the family up front. I agree that it's the polite thing to do.”

Marlena's heart skipped a beat. “So she's come to represent Gordon and his family.”

Mamma leaned near, her breath on Marlena's ear. “Your grandmother and I wonder if she's come for Angela Rose, perhaps. She has a most determined look on her face.”

Marlena's hands shook as she fastened a pin in the diaper. “But Angela's happy with Mammi Janice and me. And—”

“No need to panic, dear, but we must remember things
are
likely to change once Gordon's parents are home again. And at some point, Gordon will make clear who should have temporary custody. He may be allowed to come home a short while, but surely he'll have to return to the service.”

Marlena reached down for her niece and drew her close. “I don't think I should sit up front with you and the family, Mamma.”

“Well, why not, honey?”

“I need to be with Angela Rose,” she said firmly. “We'll sit in the back so she's not a distraction, ya know.”

Mamma patted her hand. “Considering everything, I think you may be right, Marlena.
Jah
, this is wise.”

Considering everything . . .
Marlena suspected she was referring to Patricia Munroe. “I'll just slip into the back row, all right?”

“And I'll make sure my mother knows where you and the baby are.” Mamma paused to caress Angela's cheek, then left to find Mammi Janice.

I simply mustn't fret,
Marlena reminded herself.

While Boston snoozed on the back porch, it took Small Jay nearly an hour to pick up the hundreds of paper snippets inside the outhouse and all around it. He caught himself muttering repeatedly, furious at Shredder, who must have been smart enough to hide himself away. “That cat's prob'ly burrowed in the hayloft,” Small Jay whispered. “
Gut
thing he's got nine lives.”

Small Jay dumped the snibbles down the outhouse hole and remembered something Danny Glick, his former classmate and tormentor, had once bragged about. Small Jay wasn't sure he even believed the tale, but every time he visited an outhouse, Danny's story came to mind—how he'd gotten so
zannich
with his older sister that he'd dropped her best sewing scissors down the hole. “Now, that's mighty angry,” Small Jay told himself.

He stared at the shelf Dat had recently built to hold the toilet paper. That was after the last time Shredder caused such
havoc, though not nearly as bad as now. “Dat'll have to build one even higher, but then no one will be able to reach it.” He left the outhouse, closing the door soundly. “Now, where's that wicked tomcat?”

Frustrated, Small Jay took the time to search the stable area of the barn, as well as the haymow. While there, he noticed Boston's satchel, a little gray kitten's head peering out of the top.

“What on earth?” He shooed the kitty away and then sat down on the black blanket with pieces of straw stuck to it—a one-sided straw tick. Was the Lord God above pleased with this barebones bed in a stable for the poor lost man?

Would Dat wanna sleep out here with the bugs and the animals and barn
swallow droppings?
Small Jay mused. Just then he spotted a set of pitch-black ears peeking out from behind a bale of hay. “And with Shredder, too!”

Wishing he could move more quickly, Small Jay rose with difficulty but soon gave up the chase before he could catch the troublesome cat. “You'll be a goner yet, if Dat catches ya!” he hollered.

He returned to the straw pallet and reached for the bag that seemed to hold all of the lost man's most treasured possessions.

“This oughta hang on a peg somewhere.” He was muttering again, carrying the bag over his shoulder and looking around for an ideal spot. Then, thinking he might just pound a nail into a nearby post, Small Jay set the bag on top of the stack of watering buckets and went to find a hammer and a nail.

Marlena was thankful she hadn't sat in the front row of the Beachy meetinghouse. It seemed more likely she might
contain her emotions sitting close to the door leading to the vestibule.

She listened as the dark-haired middle-aged preacher, Brother Simon Ranck, began his sermon. “ ‘For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal,' ” he said in English. She still hadn't gotten over the fact that Brother Ranck spoke in English rather than the German of the Old Order Amish service. Her eyes scanned the rows until they settled on the stately figure of Patricia Munroe, where she sat next to Marlena's family—something else that would never be allowed in a more traditional Amish gathering, even at a funeral.

Marlena wiped her eyes with her hankie, glad she was surrounded by three hundred people, as best she could estimate.
Dat and Mamma's relatives and friends all came to support them. . . .

“If you died tonight, where would you go?” Simon Ranck's words jolted her back to attention. Like her father and all the other men present, Brother Ranck wore his best black frock coat and black vest. “Are you ready to meet your Maker?” Then, with considerably more conviction, he declared, “As we read in Joshua 24:15, ‘Choose you this day whom ye will serve.' I urge you not to wait a single day longer. If you're on the fence and ready to jump it, think about eternity. Where do you want to spend it, my friend? I ask you.”

Oh, such a worry, to think her sister's soul might be lost. How did Brother Ranck know what to say at such a depressing time? Marlena's father had pleaded with the pastor to hold this service; otherwise, the only option would have been the nearby funeral home. Since Dat and Mamma were no longer members of the house-church Amish, they couldn't have the service at home.

“The Lord Jesus Christ is the only One who knows Luella Wenger Munroe's standing with God,” Simon Ranck said now, his expression gentle yet serious. “He alone will be her judge on that Day of days.” He paused to take a visibly deep breath. “May this reminder of eternity cause all of us to turn to the Lord and repent of our sins before the clock of our lives ceases its tolling.” He bowed his head, and Marlena thought he might be weeping.

She simply could not bear this a minute longer. When Angela Rose started to murmur, pushing the bottle away at this most reverent moment, Marlena was grateful. Quickly, silently, she reached for the diaper bag, put the bottle away, and slipped out of her seat to make her way outside and around the side of the church.

A monarch butterfly landed on a nearby honeysuckle vine, and Marlena moved toward it, hoping Angela might see its beauty up close. “Lookee there,” she managed to say. Then, unable to regain her composure, she began to cry.
Brother Ranck must surely think Luella's soul is lost.

Her throat felt like it might close up, yet somehow, she found the breath to speak. “Oh, dear Lord in heaven . . . please may this not be true. Please . . .” The words were the first prayer of her own that she'd ever dared to speak aloud to the Lord God. Angela Rose chortled as the butterfly flitted to yet another blooming bush, and Marlena followed it. In so doing, she happened to notice an open buggy turning into the far end of the parking lot. Not thinking anything of it, she was startled when the driver pulled right up to where she stood with Angela Rose.

“Marlena . . . I was hopin' I might see ya.”

“Nat?” She blinked back her tears and smiled for her beau. “What a surprise.”

He was dressed like he was ready for Preaching as he got down from the carriage. “You've been cryin', honey,” Nat said, moving near. “Are you all right?”

“'Tis the hardest day of my life.”

He glanced back toward the meetinghouse. “What're ya doin' out here, love?”

She told him how Brother Ranck's message had pulled at her heart, and that Angela Rose had become restless.

Nat looked down at the baby and nodded. “You have many responsibilities just now.”

Oh, she wished he might invite her to go riding, to take her away from there. “The sermon will be over very soon, and it will be time for my family to view Luella's body,” she told him. “I really oughta go back in.”

“Wish I could be there for ya.” He slipped his arm around her waist. “I really do, but . . .”

“You can't, ain't so?” She knew why. It was against the vows he planned to take when he joined church.

“At least I can be with you now. I wasn't sure I'd catch ya.”

“
Denki
for coming, Nat.” She put her head down and bit her lip. “The Lord knew I needed to see ya.”

He looked startled at this, not accustomed to that way of talking. Then, surprising her, Nat leaned closer. “Aw, love.” They moved nearer the bushes, out of view. “My heart's with ya; never forget that, Marlena.”

She tried to speak but rested her face against Angela's dimpled cheek.

Nat touched Marlena's chin, lifting her face and drawing near like he might kiss her.

“Angela's brought me such comfort these past few days,” she said, glancing down at her niece. “It's like the Lord sent
her for that reason, ya know.” She felt like she was opening the lid of her heart and spilling it out.

“It's only natural you'd feel attached to her right now, with your sister gone,” he said, stepping back. There was something amiss in his voice. “How long do you expect to have her?”

“Well, the other grandparents will decide where Angela Rose will live as soon as they return from their trip,” she told him. “Till Gordon's home from the war anyway.”

Nat nodded and looked relieved. “That'll be helpful, if they take her, considerin' all you're doing for your Mammi this summer. Truly
gut
news.”

“I s'pose,” she said a little reluctantly and wondered if Nat noticed her hesitation.