“Positive.”
“Thanks.”
Thibault noted the shadows playing on her features, thinking she was attractive in a big-city kind of way, with sharp features, olive skin, and brown eyes flecked with hazel. He could imagine staring at her for hours.
“Hey . . . you doing anything this weekend?” Amy asked. “We’re all going out to the beach.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I can’t.”
“I’ll bet you’re going to see your girlfriend, aren’t you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You have that way about you.”
He forced himself to turn away. “Something like that.”
Thibault
I
t was strange to think of the unexpected twists a man’s life could take. Up until a year ago, Thibault would have jumped at the opportunity to spend the weekend with Amy and her friends. It was probably exactly what he needed, but when they dropped him off just outside the Hampton town limits with the August afternoon heat bearing down hard, he waved good-bye, feeling strangely relieved. Maintaining a facade of normalcy had been exhausting.
Since leaving Colorado five months earlier, he hadn’t voluntarily spent more than a few hours with anyone, the lone exception being an elderly dairy farmer just south of Little Rock, who let him sleep in an unused upstairs bedroom after a dinner in which the farmer talked as little as he did. He appreciated the fact that the man didn’t feel the need to press him about why he’d just appeared the way he had. No questions, no curiosity, no open-ended hints. Just a casual acceptance that Thibault didn’t feel like talking. In gratitude, Thibault spent a couple of days helping to repair the roof of the barn before finally returning to the road, backpack loaded, with Zeus trailing behind him.
With the exception of the ride from the girls, he’d walked the entire distance. After dropping the keys to his apartment at the manager’s office in mid-March, he’d gone through eight pairs of shoes, pretty much survived on PowerBars and water during long, lonely stretches between towns, and once, in Tennessee, had eaten five tall stacks of pancakes after going nearly three days without food. Along with Zeus, he’d traveled through blizzards, hailstorms, rain, and heat so intense that it made the skin on his arms blister; he’d seen a tornado on the horizon near Tulsa, Oklahoma, and had nearly been struck by lightning twice. He’d taken numerous detours, trying to stay off the main roads, further lengthening the journey, sometimes on a whim. Usually, he walked until he was tired, and toward the end of the day, he’d start searching for a spot to camp, anywhere he thought he and Zeus wouldn’t be disturbed. In the mornings, they hit the road before dawn so no one would be the wiser. To this point, no one had bothered them.
He figured he’d been averaging more than twenty miles a day, though he’d never kept specific track of either the time or the distance. That wasn’t what the journey was about. He could imagine some people thinking that he was walking to outpace the memories of the world he’d left behind, which had a poetic ring to it; others might want to believe he was walking simply for the sake of the journey itself. But neither was true. He liked to walk and he had someplace to go. Simple as that. He liked going when he wanted, at the pace he wanted, to the place he wanted to be. After four years of following orders in the Marine Corps, the freedom of it appealed to him.
His mother worried about him, but then that’s what mothers did. Or his mother, anyway. He called every few days to let her know he was doing okay, and usually, after hanging up, he would think that he wasn’t being fair to her. He’d already been gone for much of the past five years, and before each of his three tours in Iraq, he’d listened as she’d lectured into the phone, reminding him not to do anything stupid. He hadn’t, but there had been more than a few close calls. Though he’d never told her about them, she read the papers. “And now this,” his mother had lamented the night before he’d left. “This whole thing seems crazy to me.”
Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. He wasn’t sure yet.
“What do you think, Zeus?”
The dog looked up at the sound of his name and padded to his side.
“Yeah, I know. You’re hungry. What’s new?”
Thibault paused in the parking lot of a run-down motel on the edge of town. He reached for the bowl and the last of the dog food. As Zeus began to eat, Thibault took in the view of the town.
Hampton wasn’t the worst place he’d ever seen, not by a long shot, but it wasn’t the best, either. The town was located on the banks of the South River, about thirty-five miles northwest of Wilmington and the coast, and at first glance, it seemed no different from the thousands of self-sufficient, blue-collar communities long on pride and history that dotted the South. There were a couple of traffic lights dangling on droopy wires that interrupted the traffic flow as it edged toward the bridge that spanned the river, and on either side of the main road were low-slung brick buildings, sandwiched together and stretching for half a mile, with business names stenciled on the front windows advertising places to eat and drink or purchase hardware. A few old magnolias were scattered here and there and made the sidewalks swell beneath their bulging roots. In the distance, he saw an old-fashioned barber pole, along with the requisite older men sitting on the bench out in front of it. He smiled. It was quaint, like a fantasy of the 1950s.
On closer inspection, though, he sensed that first impressions were deceiving. Despite the waterfront location—or maybe because of it, he surmised—he noted the decay near the rooflines, in the crumbling bricks near the foundations, in the faded brackish stains a couple of feet higher than the foundations, which indicated serious flooding in the past. None of the shops were boarded up yet, but observing the dearth of cars parked in front of the businesses, he wondered how long they could hold out. Small-town commercial districts were going the way of the dinosaurs, and if this place was like most of the other towns he’d passed through, he figured there was probably another, newer area for businesses, one most likely anchored by a Wal-Mart or a Piggly Wiggly, that would spell the end for this part of town.
Strange, though. Being here. He wasn’t sure what he’d imagined Hampton to be, but it wasn’t this.
No matter. As Zeus was finishing his food, he wondered how long it would take to find her. The woman in the photograph. The woman he’d come to meet.
But he would find her. That much was certain. He hoisted his backpack. “You ready?”
Zeus tilted his head.
“Let’s get a room. I want to eat and shower. And you need a bath.”
Thibault took a couple of steps before realizing Zeus hadn’t moved. He glanced over his shoulder.
“Don’t give me that look. You definitely need a bath. You smell.”
Zeus still didn’t move.
“Fine. Do what you want. I’m going.”
He headed toward the manager’s office to check in, knowing that Zeus would follow. In the end, Zeus always followed.
Until he’d found the photograph, Thibault’s life had proceeded as he’d long intended. He’d always had a plan. He’d wanted to do well in school and had; he’d wanted to participate in a variety of sports and had grown up playing pretty much everything. He’d wanted to learn to play the piano and the violin, and he’d become proficient enough to write his own music. After college at the University of Colorado, he’d planned to join the Marine Corps, and the recruiter had been thrilled that he’d chosen to enlist instead of becoming an officer. Shocked, but thrilled. Most graduates had little desire to become a grunt, but that was exactly what he’d wanted.
The bombing of the World Trade Center had little to do with his decision. Instead, joining the military seemed the natural thing to do, since his dad had served with the marines for twenty-five years. His dad had gone in as a private and finished as one of those grizzled, steel-jawed sergeants who intimidated pretty much everyone except his wife and the platoons he commanded. He treated those young men like his sons; his sole intent, he used to tell them, was to bring them back home to their mothers alive and well and all grown up. His dad must have attended more than fifty weddings over the years of guys he’d led who couldn’t imagine getting married without having his blessing. Good marine, too. He’d picked up a Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts in Vietnam and over the years had served in Grenada, Panama, Bosnia, and the First Gulf War. His dad was a marine who didn’t mind transfers, and Thibault had spent the majority of his youth moving from place to place, living on bases around the world. In some ways, Okinawa seemed more like home than Colorado, and though his Japanese was a bit rusty, he figured a week spent in Tokyo would rekindle the fluency he’d once known. Like his dad, he figured he’d end up retiring from the corps, but unlike his dad, he intended to live long enough afterward to enjoy it. His dad had died of a heart attack only two years after he’d slipped his dress blues onto the hanger for the last time, a massive infarction that came out of the blue. One minute he was shoveling snow from the driveway, and the next minute he was gone. That was thirteen years ago. Thibault had been fifteen years old at the time.
That day and the funeral that followed were the most vivid memories of his life prior to joining the marines. Being raised as a military brat has a way of making things blur together, simply because of how often you have to move. Friends come and go, clothing is packed and unpacked, households are continually purged of unnecessary items, and as a result, not much sticks. It’s hard at times, but it makes a kid strong in ways that most people can’t understand. Teaches them that even though people are left behind, new ones will inevitably take their place; that every place has something good—and bad—to offer. It makes a kid grow up fast.
Even his college years were hazy, but that chapter of his life had its own routines. Studying during the week, enjoying the weekends, cramming for finals, crappy dorm food, and two girlfriends, one of whom lasted a little more than a year. Everyone who ever went to college had the same stories to tell, few of which had lasting impact. In the end, only his education remained. In truth, he felt like his life hadn’t really started until he’d arrived on Parris Island for basic training. As soon as he’d hopped off the bus, the drill sergeant started shouting in his ear. There’s nothing like a drill sergeant to make a person believe that nothing in his life had really mattered to that point. You were theirs now, and that was that. Good at sports?
Give me fifty push-ups, Mr. Point Guard.
College educated?
Assemble this rifle, Einstein.
Father was in the marines?
Clean the crapper like your old man once did.
Same old clichés. Run, march, stand at attention, crawl through the mud, scale that wall: There was nothing in basic training he hadn’t expected.
He had to admit that the drill mostly worked. It broke people down, beat them down even further, and eventually molded them into marines. Or that’s what they said, anyway. He didn’t break down. He went through the motions, kept his head low, did as he was ordered, and remained the same man he’d been before. He became a marine anyway.
He ended up with the First Battalion, Fifth Marines, based out of Camp Pendleton. San Diego was his kind of town, with great weather, gorgeous beaches, and even more beautiful women. But it was not to last. In January 2003, right after he turned twenty-three, he deployed to Kuwait as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Camp Doha, in an industrial part of Kuwait City, had been in use since the First Gulf War and was pretty much a town unto itself. There was a gym and a computer center, a PX, places to eat, and tents spread as far as the horizon. Busy place made much busier by the impending invasion, and things were chaotic from the start. His days were an unbroken sequence of hours-long meetings, backbreaking drills, and rehearsals of ever changing attack plans. He must have practiced donning his chemical war protection suit a hundred times. There were endless rumors, too. The worst part was trying to figure out which one might be true. Everyone knew of someone who knew someone who’d heard the
real story.
One day they were going in imminently; next day they’d hear that they were holding off. First, they were coming in from the north and south; then just from the south, and maybe not even that. They heard the enemy had chemical weapons and intended to use them; next day they heard they wouldn’t use them because they believed that the United States would respond with nukes. There were whispers that the Iraqi Republican Guard intended to make a suicide stand just over the border; others swore they intended to make the stand near Baghdad. Still others said the suicide stand would happen near the oil fields. In short, no one knew anything, which only fueled the imaginations of the 150,000 troops who’d assembled in Kuwait.
For the most part, soldiers are kids. People forget that sometimes. Eighteen, nineteen, twenty—half of the servicemen weren’t old enough even to buy a beer. They were confident and well trained and excited to go, but it was impossible to ignore the reality of what was coming. Some of them were going to die. Some talked openly about it, others wrote letters to their families and handed them to the chaplain. Tempers were short. Some had trouble sleeping; others slept almost all the time. Thibault observed it all with a strange sense of detachment.
Welcome to war,
he could hear his father saying
. It’s always a SNAFU: situation normal, all f—ed up.
Thibault wasn’t completely immune to the escalating tension, and like everyone else, he’d needed an outlet. It was impossible not to have one. He started playing poker. His dad had taught him to play, and he knew the game . . . or thought he knew. He quickly found out that others knew more. In the first three weeks, he proceeded to lose pretty much every dime he’d saved since joining up, bluffing when he should have folded, folding when he should have stayed in the game. It wasn’t much money to begin with, and it wasn’t as if he had many places to spend it even if he’d kept it, but it put him in a foul mood for days. He hated to lose.