The Luminosity Series (Book 1): Luminosity (10 page)

“Well,
it was a risk, I’ll give you that. But what are you doing, Aubrey? Where are
you living?” he asked, swallowing.

“I’m
working at the hospital and staying with my mom for now.”

“What
she did was wrong, Aubs,” he said. I shook my head with angry tears forming in
the corners of my eyes.

“Even
still, I can’t blame her for it. She’s right. She never had a chance. She was
given a death sentence that night. So I say let her do whatever the hell she
wants,” I snapped with conviction, blinking. He gave me a sympathetic stare
before continuing.

“What
she did may have gotten other hospital patients killed, Aubrey. People needed
that medication to stay alive,” he said.

“And
how do we know they’re getting what they need? All of this is wrong. How
they’re controlling our lives. The way they’re cherry picking who gets what,
let alone who lives and who dies. So what difference does it make?” Tears
dwelled in my eyes as he stayed quiet. “She needed an escape. Sometimes that’s
all we need. But it doesn’t mean we’ve given up, or forgotten where we’ve come
from. It means that in order for us to breathe, we can’t stay in one place for
too long. And this place is suffocating her, just like it did to me,” I added.
He was still staring as the silence of the cemetery filled the air.

“But
you didn’t have to run away, Aubrey. You could have faced this here, with her,
with me, with Janelle. You ran because you were afraid you’d find a reason to
stay here.”

It
wasn’t fair, the way he kept aiming the spotlight on me, as if I was the only
person who made any mistakes. And his secret infuriated me. Suddenly, I
couldn’t hold back any longer.

“You’re
not so innocent yourself. Janelle told me about the tunnel, so enough with the
accusations.” I turned to him in annoyance. He held in a breath while clenching
his jaw.

“I
guess I shouldn’t be surprised, seeing as she could never keep her mouth shut
around you,” Evan said in a low tone.

“What
are you thinking? What if you were caught? You’d be taken away to a prison camp
in the middle of nowhere. Or worse, they’d kill you! And you think other people
wouldn’t be affected by the choices
you’ve
made? You’re such a
hypocrite,” I lashed out.

“It’s
funny hearing this from you. You risked your life already, Aubrey. Once by
leaving, the other by coming back.”

“That’s
different.” I blinked.

“How?
How is it different?” he asked.

“I
didn’t break the law.”

“No,
you just broke something else.” He looked away in a huff as my eyes narrowed. “Besides,
you said it yourself. Sometimes we need an escape. Well, none of us have that
privilege anymore, so we have no choice but to sneak around,” he added.

We
stayed silent for several moments while I listened to his enraged breathing.

“Speaking
of choices, can I ask you something?” I blurted out. He shook his head with an
angry smirk.

“What?”
he asked, scratching the back of his neck impatiently.

“Why
are you working at the supply fields?”

“What
do you mean? I have to. It’s not like my father’s inheritance has value
nowadays.”

“You
could have enlisted in the military and had a better shot at qualification.”

“Well,
maybe I didn’t want that chance, Aubrey. Did you ever think of that?” he
snapped.

“But
why wouldn’t you?”

He
chuckled.

“Do
you really believe our soldiers have greater odds at a colony? They outnumber
civilians by a ratio of three to one. Besides, I would have been put on a
waiting list to either guard the fences, or go into combat training. I figured
I’d be much more useful at the fields helping with preparations than wasting my
time on some stupid defense operation.” He sighed before continuing. “It’s what
my mother wanted too. She spent months blaming my decision to stay a civilian
on my father’s death. And maybe his death
did
influence that decision,
but trust me when I say this, Aubrey… there’s no sense in fighting this war
going on outside the borders. The government wants us to think they have
control over what happens out there, but they don’t. Things are already out of
their control. Out there, it’s only proof of how bad it is, and it’s only a
matter of time before this place loses more people to violence. I’d rather
spend the last of my years preparing for a good future than killing more
innocent people,” he said.

“But
innocent people are already being killed by our leaders. For disobeying
authority.”

“Yeah?
Well, you’re not the only one who needed to run. Maybe we all needed an escape
from this just as much as you did,” he said before turning away. Furious, I gripped
his arm to stop him.

“This
isn’t a game, Evan. Promise me you won’t go out there anymore,” I demanded. He
laughed in disbelief before getting serious again.

“Why
are you suddenly so concerned about what I do anyway? You disappeared, Aubrey.
Where were you when the ones you loved needed you most?” he asked. My guilt
took over as my lip shivered. On the verge of tears again, I spoke with a unsteady
voice.

“Where
was I? I was living a nightmare, trying to convince myself I was already dead
so that this wouldn’t seem real. But this isn’t over for us. You told me that
once,” I said, my focus falling toward the ground. He paused for a second, the
warmth in his eyes returning.

“If
I make you a promise, what will you promise me in return?” he asked, squinting
into the sunset before looking at me.

“What
do you want?” I asked, cautious to look up. He drew in a deep breath, his
glances drifting back and forth from the scar next to my eye, to my empty gaze.

“I
want you to stop feeling guilty for surviving that accident. I want you to stop
being afraid that your life might still mean something, that it can be more
than just this regret you’re holding onto,” he stated, looking toward the
fence. I squinted back tears.

“I
can’t promise that,” I said in a broken voice. His expression faltered, and
within seconds, the hint of hope faded.

“Then
I can’t make you any promises either…” he answered, walking away in
disappointment.

Minutes
passed as I stood there, gazing toward the mountains. I looked behind me at the
cracked cement roadway leading to the cemetery gate. After making sure Evan was
out of sight, I strayed up to the fence, taking a deep breath. Barbed wire
intertwined the top in a tangled mess, as if tossed up there accidentally. A
sign hung every few feet that warned us, reading
“Unregulated Territory -
Access Beyond this Point Strictly Prohibited.”
At times I wondered what it
would be like to go past the border. Perhaps life out there wasn’t much
different than it was in here. For all we knew, people lived their lives free
from gates, iron fences, and barricades for years, released from the shackles
of regulation and imprisonment. Maybe risking our lives
was
our only
escape.

The
melody of old music blared into my ears as I positioned one foot in front of
the other. The fact that the iPod still functioned after resting in the dresser
drawer for years shocked me. And for the first time since returning home, life
felt familiar again. But after jogging a good thirty minutes, a thundering growl
interjected me out of my reflection. Above, a familiar flock of military
helicopters tore through the early dawn, migrating north toward the mountains. Even
though their buzz was frequent, the possibility of an attack troubled me.
Anxious by the thought of it, I reflected on my conversation with Evan as I
arrived at the fence. The warning sign stared me in the face again—a reminder,
a deterrent. A twinge of shame struck me as my accusations suddenly mirrored my
own choices. Hypocrite? Who was I to criticize him for sneaking past the
border? I was doing the same thing for the same reasons.

I
tucked the iPod inside the pocket of my jacket. Being on constant guard was my
only defense along the trail. I should have known better than to come out here again,
especially after hearing the horror stories from Sonya. But something about
seeing the town from above was peaceful. Maybe because from up here, I wasn’t a
part of it anymore.

Two
weeks had passed since I ran into Evan at the cemetery. I spent most of that
time worrying, curious of the risks they were taking and the rules they were
breaking by slipping past the border. But after spending nearly a month in this
town, I figured it was worth the compromise.

Much
of the pathway heading up the hillside was strewn with branches, grass, pine
cones, and twigs from blasts of wind. As I trekked through the foggy blue glow
of dawn, I glanced at the town below. The sun lurked behind the horizon, rising
later now that autumn was upon us. I took in the thin air as I forced each foot
in front of the other, my pulse racing from the sharp incline before coming to
my familiar turnaround spot. But when I reached a break in the trail, an
unexpected shadow caught the angle of my eye. I crouched to the ground in
defense as I identified what the unrecognizable object was—a cairn—a three-foot
tall pile of large stones. They decreased in size toward the top, in a neat,
harmonious balance. I squinted as my heart hammered in terror at the riddle of
who could have put it there, and when. Even if I hadn’t noticed it initially,
the recent storm would have surely knocked it over. This could only mean one
thing—I wasn’t the only person to wander these trails since the night of the
windstorm, after the guard at the hospital warned of a security breach at the
perimeter. Someone had been here. Someone who may have seen me up here before.
The same outsider spying on me now. And as soon as the paranoia hit me, I
regretted wandering out here. I jolted my head around, taking a few steps backward
as my heartbeat skyrocketed. Hiding within the needles of a nearby pine tree
was my only choice. But if I
had
been spotted out here, I wouldn’t be
fooling anybody.

“Shit…”
I whispered to myself as I examined my surroundings. I stood only ten feet from
the trail. In scouting out a place to run, dreadful questions struck me—what
would they do if the guards found me? How would I explain why I was up here?
Would they even let me? I closed my eyes and exhaled before peeking through the
branches of the tree. I had to at least try to go back before it got too bright
outside. But when I looked back at the cairn, the stones stole my attention as
it came into focus again. On the center rock was a series of black symbols
etched into it—a message marked in a language of celestial glyphs and figures.
They resembled ancient Indian markings—petroglyphs—like the ones Janelle spoke
of. I figured if I walked away now, the temptation would leave me. But I
couldn’t.

I
snapped my head to the horizon. The sunbeams stretched above the mountains now,
spilling their illumination onto the tops of nearby peaks. Not far from me,
another cluster of helicopters headed in my course. It was now or never.

I
crept through the trees until reaching the cairn. And as I approached, a shiny
object shimmered in the sunrise, resting at the top. I checked every direction
before picking it up. Hooked to a chain hung a large pendant that opened into a
compass. Engraved along the round edging of it lied a collection of letters and
numbers, unevenly spaced. It was a set of coordinates, though I didn’t
understand how to read it. I winced as I turned it over, finding the letters
“A.R.E.”
embossed into it. Confused, I flipped it around, letting it dangle as the
glimmering yellow dazzled me with its brilliance in the morning rays. And
within the incandescent blaze, my mother’s words came rushing back.

“It
was a compass made of real gold, which is why they took it. Those assholes. You
know they don’t allow civilians to have valuables anymore.”

Along
with my conclusion, it escaped my fingers, dropping onto the ground as I jumped
from the choppers hovering my way. I had to run. I grasped the compass, my
reflection disappearing as I shoved it in my pocket, charging south toward the
trees. After dashing behind one of the larger pines, I was hopeful I’d blend in
enough to not be seen from above. And as the choppers passed, I caught my
breath in the onrush of dawn. Seconds later, as my heart rate returned to normal,
my father came to mind.

That
night, I lied in my bed, my eyes following the sheer, pastel curtains swaying
in the gentle breeze. Curiosity prevented me from sleeping as I remained
mystified by the compass’s denotation. The numbers were coordinates, the markings
a cipher—a secret language intended to stay hidden. How it had gotten there
made little sense.
I needed answers, but I was
uncertain where to look for them. Before the collapse, we had endless resources
at our fingertips. Now, there were no phones, no internet, and no avenues to
turn to for investigation. These days, letters were our only method of
communication to the outside territories. We were informed of news and events
by our town leaders at periodic City Hall meetings. And even though I wanted to
trust my mother, I couldn’t risk telling her about my discovery. The memory of
my father would only mess with her head more. And I couldn’t risk letting her
take it from me. But there was something about the mystery of its origin that led
me to make my next foolish decision—I would cross the border and find out for
myself what truths hid beyond it. 

♦  ♦  ♦

Sneaking
onto unregulated land
was unsettling, but seeing
the outside world again attracted me to the idea. Was I stupid for thinking I
wouldn’t get caught? Perhaps, but my curiosity gnawed at me from the inside
out. Just like the day I left this place, nothing would stop my need to escape.
Only this time, my life depended on my discretion. Underneath neon green
lights, with their brilliance transforming into shapely holes, I pushed
forward. It was nearing midnight now, hours after the mandated curfew. The
military had activated the beacons, circling in a single beam from the four
corners of the small city—atop the watchtowers. Visibility was clear as they
cut through the darkness of night, reaching out to the region beyond the wall.
I forced myself upward, trying not to make much noise as I followed the old
trail leading along the mountain behind Evan’s house. The auroras provided the
perfect degree of glow to light up my way, yet kept me camouflaged between
shadows of rock and trees. I didn’t know if I’d find Evan or Janelle out there,
but I at least hoped to find answers.

A
half hour had passed before I reached the cave. Unsure if I had arrived at my
destination or not, I refilled my lungs as I stared upon a large, rounded
boulder. It had the same black petroglyphs as the cairn I had found, only these
markings looked jaded, with a distinct crescent moon and star, and a symbol
that featured an arch. And as I did one final check behind me, I assumed I was
on the right track. Still, the questions remained—just what were these symbols?
Who put them there? And why?

When
I neared the tunnel access, my claustrophobia almost forced me to turn back
around. Ahead of me, a narrow pass stretched between two towering rock walls,
with a path of small stone steps leading downward into the hollowness of the
cave. Without searching for the symbols, I never would have known it was there.
At first glance, I wasn’t sure I’d fit through it, but it was only my nerves
getting the better of me.

I
shook off my anxiety, ignoring the fear of being caught. Pulling my sling bag
to my hip, I secured the strands of my low ponytail underneath the strap before
squeezing through the first few feet of darkness. I kept my eyes on the sky,
disregarding the urge to panic as the gaps between the rocks narrowed. Sucking
in, I trembled as I took small strides, sliding along the wall. Carefully, I
made my way to a larger gap not far from where I started. I studied the small
tunnel entrance. The size of it wasn’t what I expected. On the ground was a
circular crawl space blocked by an iron grate, unbolted and unscrewed beside
the opening. Judging from the number of bolts, someone had gone through a great
deal of trouble to unseal it from the inside. The theory haunted me.

The
interior looked dirty, weathered, and cracked. I cringed as I imagined what sorts
of creatures, what vermin could be festering within it. Before crouching down,
I turned my small flashlight on. Second thoughts invaded my head, screaming out
at me to return home, but I’d have to keep going to see the outside. It had
been over three years since I’d seen the freedom of open land. I couldn’t stop
now.

Crawling
headfirst, I was vigilant to regulate my breathing patterns, to divert the
anxiety, to stay quiet. My flashlight lit up the walls, now revealing more
glyphs and symbols. Many of them featured geometric designs—an exhibition of
birds, arrows, crosses, and stars. I shined my light forward, eager to keep
moving. But even after ten minutes of dragging through it on my hands and
knees, only the vague green glow from the sky was visible ahead. And as I got
closer to the end of the tunnel, its circumference gained in size. I wasn’t far
from freedom. Now, I could smell it.

As
I continued, the shadow of lines developed into focus, and suddenly I came to
the same iron grate as the one I had started at. From where I was, it still
appeared to be attached, blocking my way through. Panicked now, I crawled
faster to reach it, desperate to escape. Looking back lured me into doubt
again, the temptation vanishing after I thought about the distance I had
covered. But the paranoia of being followed still consumed me.

Maybe
I was right all along. Maybe this was a trap.

“You’re
almost there…” I huffed to myself in panic, inching farther through the
underpass. When I neared the grate, I grabbed the bars, pushing it forward. But
to my convenience, it was loose, detached just like at the first entrance. All
my worry had been for nothing, like it usually was. But before I could relax, the
grate scraped across the circled rim of the cement tunnel before rolling to the
side. Creating a deafening screech, it swiveled against the rock into the
darkness in front of me. And in that moment, panic struck me as it chimed and
echoed through the still air. I had no idea how close to the border wall I was.
If I was within decent proximity of their audio radar, I’d have no chance at
escape after the noise I made. I forced my eyes shut, recovering my breath as I
remained inside the tunnel, still in fear of what I’d discover upon exiting.
After a few moments, I peeked my head out. To my relief, rocks and large
boulders surrounded me, safe from view. Only now could I make out the ampleness
of pine trees, of wilderness, of rocky plateaus and overgrown grassland in the
distance. I was free.