The Lycan Hunter (The Gardinian World Series) (27 page)

Kyran went and sprawled across his bed, stared at his ceiling. He
should have known having her back wasn
’
t going to be easy. She was
a like a verbal analogy: Lykil is to asshole as Alexis is to difficult. Part
of him knew that she was trying, but she was still not being honest with him about how she felt.

Vulnerability was obviously not something she valued, probably
something no Hunter found of any worth. Lycans, on the other hand
,
knew that their weakest points allowed them a degree of humanity that
escaped them otherwise. Caring for those weaker than them allowed
them to see something that could easily be forgotten in their many years
on the Earth.

He glanced over at the chair she sat in, the same recliner she tried
to sleep in before she left. He was tempted to throw it out, hating the
physical distance it allowed to exist between them. The emotional space
was bad enough.

“Come here, Alexis.” To his surprise, she did. “What’s wrong with
you?” he asked.

Alexis sighed. “Nothing.”

“And I’m a dragon of Zombeir.”

She frowned. “A what?”

Of course she didn
’
t know about the dragons that inhabited Zombeir
, one of the four worlds within the branches of Liflasir.

“Nothing. Tell me what’s wrong. If I can fix it, I will.”

He watched as she nibbled on her lip before she started picking at her nails.

“What made you hit Ronan?”

“I punched him because of you.”

KYRAN RECOUNTED HOW
every day she was gone he’d inched
further into a rogue-like haze. He explained that a person and their soul
could be unified or at war with each other. In the case of Soul Seeing,
the desire of the soul trumped any cognitive excuse a person could come
up with. When Kyran had discounted Alexis because of her Hunter
lineage, his soul reacted in a way that unleashed a series of events that
culminated in Ronan’s black eye.

“How is it that your reaction was so extreme, whereas nothing
changed for me?”

He gave her a small smile. “Part of me always wondered how you
got to be a top Hunter with the way you get injured all the time.”

Alexis bristled. “That has never happened to me. Scratches and stuff
,
sure, but until I met you, I never had so many near death experiences.”

“I
’
ve seen your scars. None of them appeared to be fatal. Still, did
you ever wonder why your hard-earned training took a vacation when
we met?” She nodded, thinking how it aggravated her to routinely
return to his infirmary. He rubbed his thumb across her wrist and said
,
“I think that was your soul finding its own way of rebelling. Mine
lashed out at others; yours punished you.”

“Great. My soul hates me.”

“Your soul is the purest form of who you are as a being. It doesn
’
t
care about anything beyond what is best for you as an entire unit. We
tend to get in our soul
’
s way by relying too much on our so-called higher
intellect. Needless to say, overthinking it causes us more problems
than it solves.”

Alexis dipped her head. “I never really wanted to leave, you know.”
She exhaled loudly and started picking her nails. “I only pushed to
leave because I could tell you didn
’
t want or need me here. My presence
here is a problem. I understand that, and I
’
m sorry. I can…
I don’
t know
what I can do, but whatever you need me to do, I
’
ll do it. Whatever
makes your life easier, I’ll do it.”

A ghost of misery lingered in his blue gaze when he forced her to
look at him. “And what about you, Alexis? What kind of life would
you be living?”

“I
’
d be alive for the time being. I can
’
t ask for more than that. I
’
ve
been in my parents’ crosshairs most of my life, so having somewhere relatively safe to stay works in my favor.”

“I prayed for you. Gods, I prayed for you.” He pressed a kiss to
her fingers. “Do you think I sought the aid of every god – begged them
to keep you safe – so that you could return here as a guest of necessity?”

“I
’
ve lived under worse circumstances, Kyran. If my stay here need
s to be like that, then I’ll be fine.”

 “You’re always fine,” he said with a hint of a laugh. “Part of me knew that while you were out there that you were fine, but I wanted
you home, here with me.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “When
none of the other gods answered me, I summoned Lykil to me and told
him that I’d give him anything if he brought you here.”

“Is that when he came and got me?”

“No,” he said with a muted growl. “He laughed and told me that
he was wrong for thinking that you’d be a good match for me. I was too weak for you.”

“Lykil’s…Lykil, but you know it’s not true, right?”

Kyran laughed.
“At the time, I couldn
’
t blame him for thinking it.
I was a little unhinged by the time I summoned him. Case in point, I told
him to bring you here or I would spend the rest of my life in Gardas kicking his ass.”

Alexis sputtered a laugh before she smiled down at him. “What did he say?”

Kyran schooled his features into an expression of disbelief. “You
are aware that I’m a god and can’t die, right?” His tone mockingly
sounding like Lykil.

“And this asshole just smiled at me and said I know,” Lykil said
as he exited the bathroom. “Sorry, but my ears were burning.” He sat
on the bed next to Alexis and wrapped his arm around her, which
earned him a growl from Kyran. “Do you know how creepy that shit is?”
He turned his gaze down to Kyran. “You look good on your knees.”

Kyran launched himself at Lykil but found himself splayed out on the
bed in the spot Lykil no longer occupied.

“Sorry, Lycan, but no touchy. I make others bleed; no one is
allowed to make me bleed.”

Alexis walked over to him and punched him in his stomach.

“Dammit. What was that for?” Lykil asked.

“Kyran,” she said, the
duh
lingering in the air.

Destruction let out a disgruntled sigh. “You
’
re just like your brother.”

“Graciously enduring your presence?” she offered.

Lykil snorted. “A pain in the ass.”

Kyran rose from the bed and went to stand at Alexis
’
side. “Com
e to claim your payment for bringing her here?”

“Nope, not yet. I think I will wait a little while.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I can't just stop by for a visit?”

“No,” they said in unison.

“I thought you liked me, Alexis.”

“I do, but right now I’m trying to catch up on what has happened
around here. You’re interrupting that.”

“Fine, I’ll go. I’ll be back in,” he paused as if counting the days,
“two weeks.” He dissipated from the room, likely going to wreak havoc
somewhere else.

Alexis turned her attention back to a comment that Kyran had made
earlier. “Does it bother you to know that me being a Hunter doesn
’
t
matter when it comes to Soul Seeing?”

The smile he gave her was genuine as he leaned in a gently kissed
her on the lips. “Not anymore.”

Some sappy part of her wanted to buy into what he told her, but
the truth was, despite everything that had happened, it had only bee
n three days. No one changed that fast.

“I know you don
’
t believe me, but think about it. It
’
s been a week
since we met and already so much has changed in our lives.”

She nodded; he had her there. In a week
’
s time, she had managed
to go from a salvageable Hunter just out to do her job and survive to a Hunter past the point of rehabilitation. Her feelings for Kyran were making her soft in ways that had nothing to do with texture, and she didn’t know if she liked it. Soft was vulnerable, and vulnerability got Hunters killed.

Kyran tilted her head up to look at him. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

“Everything and nothing.”

“And that tells me exactly nothing.”

“I don’t know how to tell you anything. It feels…wrong.”

Something about the way emotion clouded his features made her
want to tell him everything. Nothing in her big box of shit that she
didn’t want to deal with was worth the hurt on his face. She opened her mouth to say something, but he just shook his head.

“It’s okay, Alexis. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Actually, I do.” She sighed and pulled away from him. “I
’
m sorry
,
but I don
’
t know how to be the girl your hero complex needs. I’m not
soft; I can't afford it. Being the way I am has kept me alive. It makes me
nervous that some part of me is trying to change to be that girl for you.”

He pulled her back into his embrace. “
I don’
t want to be your hero, and
I resent the fact you think I have a hero complex,” he said with a
slight laugh. “As for you changing to be soft for me, I’m not asking you
to. I will take you however you come to me.” He rested his head on top of hers. “Three days and I lost everything that I was, everything that mattered to me.”

“Have I become the key to your sanity?”

“More. Definitely more. You are the woman that can unmake me.
If I had to face the rest of my life without you, I would not be a man
worth knowing. The absence of you would destroy me. That
’
s the way
Soul Seeing works. You’re the only one for me, and like it or not, I’m the only one for you.”

She probably would have been bothered by not having a choice
in her would-be happily ever after if she
’
d ever given it much thought.
Instead, her thoughts had always revolved around weapons and her survival.

Thoughts of her time on the run bubbled to the forefront of her
mind. She’d barely let her thoughts linger on him, choosing instead to box any memory and feelings of him away. She hid it behind the
wall she built with frenzied expectation that if she didn
’
t finish fast
enough, those feelings would escape and drown her in emotions she had no way of dealing with.

She stepped out of his embrace and met his questioning stare. “I didn’t think about you. At least, I tried not to.”

He smiled at her. “
I don’
t blame you. Trying not to die takes
precedence over thinking about me.”

She sighed.
“That
’
s not exactly the reason.” She moved further away,
needing the distance that physical space gave her. “I couldn
’
t let myself
get attached to you. I couldn’t allow myself to care for you anymore or be the only one emotionally drowning.”

“And now?”

“
I don’
t know, but I know I
’
m in over my head. God, I feel pathetic.”
She turned away as tears stung her eyes.

“That’s not pathetic, Alexis.”

“Yes, it is. I’m twenty-four, and I have no idea how to describe what
I feel for you. The only love I
’
ve ever felt was for Torin. Beyond that, I
don’t think I can say I was attracted to anyone enough to even claim
I had a crush on them. I breathed for my job. Guys were at the back
of my mind, and since I never wanted to pass on my defective genes, I
never thought about relationships. Hunters always wanted to eventually
have kids, but not me, so I kept my distance.”

“Is that what you
’
re worried about?” Kyran
’
s strong arms circled
her waist and tucked her tight against his hard body. “
I don’
t need
much, Alexis, but if you want, I can show you how to love me.”

Alexis laughed and turned in his grasp. “Is that your way of saying you
want sex?”

“I may be male, but I do have moments where I think above my waistline.”

“Then tell me what you want, and I’ll try and give it to you.”

A flicker of erotic promise flared in his gaze. “I
want
a lot of things
. I just happen to not need a whole lot.”

Alexis frowned at him. He was being evasive when he was the one
that started the conversation.

“As you say,
Kyran
, that
tells
me nothing. What do you need from me?”