Read The Magician's Bird Online
Authors: Emily Fairlie
Miss Abernathy looked at their list for a long time, then put it down on the desk in front of her with a pinched expression on her face. She took a pencil out of her pencil cup, sharpened it, and then held it poised over the paper while she looked at them for a long second.
“These are your suggestions?” she said finally, pressing her lips together tightly. She didn't look pleased with them. Laurie and Bud hadn't really been on her favorite student list ever since she caught them “attempting to destroy school property,” as she put it. (Finding the treasure, as everyone else put it.)
“Well, yeah,” Bud said. He thought that was pretty obvious. The name of the list pretty much explained that. Not a lot of ambiguity there. Bud wondered what kind of background you had to have to get a job as a school administrator.
“We have other ideas that we didn't put down, though,” Laurie said, glancing at Bud. She didn't like the expression on Miss Abernathy's face at all. Sure, some of their ideas were a little elaborate. But that's just because the Laurie-and-Bud Scavenger Hunt was going to be so awesome. “We're willing to be flexible. Like the singing cherubs in the music hall? We could do something with them. Or with the founding fathers in
the history wing. We didn't want to put too much stuff down at first, though.”
Miss Abernathy gave a tight smile. “Yes. I see. Well.” She made a few notations on the paper and then pushed the list forward on the desk. “You must realize these are all completely unrealistic.”
“What? Why?” Laurie and Bud said over each other.
“Digging in the school yard? Prying up floorboards? Damaging a musical instrument? Absolutely not. You can't have seriously thought we'd allow that.” She opened a folder on her desk and took out two pieces of paper. “I was afraid something like this might happen, so I came up with a few ideas of my own. I suggest you take a look and we can discuss them at our next organizational meeting. I think you'll find these ideas to be much more realistic.”
“So our ideas are definitely out?” Laurie said slowly. “We can't do them?”
“That's right.” Miss Abernathy pushed the copies of her list toward them.
“All of them. Definitely out,” Bud echoed.
“Yes.”
“So no digging,” Laurie said. She wanted to be absolutely clear on that point.
“No digging.”
Laurie and Bud exchanged a glance.
Miss Abernathy ignored it and pushed the papers forward again. “When we meet again this time tomorrow, I hope you'll have a more acceptable plan. Now, if you'll excuse me.” Betty Abernathy stood up and waited. Technically, Maria Tutweiler's instructions left the scavenger hunt in Bud's and Laurie's hands, but that didn't mean Betty Abernathy had to accept it. She had ways of working around Tutweiler's eccentricities.
“Right,” Laurie said blankly, before abruptly standing up and hurrying out. Bud hesitated only long enough to grab the papers off the desk before taking off after her.
Text message from Laurie Madison to Misti Pinkerton
MISTI! Abort plan! Stop! Will explain soon!
EMAIL
FROM: BETTY ABERNATHY
TO: PRINCIPAL MARTIN WINKLE
SUBJECT: TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE IDEA
Martin,
Let me say one more time how horrible this idea of a scavenger hunt is. Do you realize these children were planning to pull up floorboards and climb in chandeliers? Surely this is not what Maria Tutweiler intended.
Yours,
Betty Abernathy
P.S. I thought Olivia Hutchins was going to be handling this with me? I can't take a whole summer of those children alone.
“Tell me she isn't digging yet,” Bud said as they skittered down the front steps and ran toward the side of the school. “We're going to totally get it if she's digging.”
That morning it had seemed like a really good idea to have Misti Pinkerton look for a few prime digging spots for them.
She hadn't found the treasure with them, so she wasn't an official organizer of the scavenger hunt or anything. But they definitely couldn't have found it without her, and she had a bunch of good ideas for hiding places.
They'd figured having her scope out digging sites showed that they were being proactive. Taking initiative. Not a sign that they were ensuring their own doom.
“She said she was just going to do some surveying.” Laurie said, her sneakers slipping on the grass. Of course Misti Pinkerton had never been known for her self-restraint. Especially when she was armed with a shovel. And no matter how you cut it, Betty Abernathy wasn't going to be happy having a huge crater in the side yard. They hadn't come across any mounds of dirt or gaping holes so far, though, so that was definitely a good sign.
“Thereâup ahead,” Bud gasped. “Misti, stop!”
Misti Pinkerton was standing next to the garden shed, looking thoughtfully at the floor inside. She jumped as Bud stumbled up against the shed wall next to her.
“Holy cow, guys, what's the big rush? Did Abernathy go for the plan? I've got the perfect place all worked out.”
“Didn't you get my text?” Laurie panted.
“No digging. Did you dig yet? Stop,” Bud gasped, turning around and sliding down the shed wall to a sitting position.
“What? No. Text?” Misti fumbled in the pocket of her shorts and pulled out her cell phone. It was hot pink plastic, with nice big buttons for pudgy, uncoordinated fingers. A little-kid phone. She shook it in Laurie's face. “Laurie, does this look like it can text?”
Laurie winced. “Sorry about that.”
“My stupid phone has four buttons with pictures on them, Laurie. Pictures. That's the kind of phone my parents got me.” Misti brandished her phone again menacingly before deflating with a huge sigh and shoving it in her pocket. “So, no, I didn't get your text. She said no digging?”
Bud snorted. “No digging. No anything. Nothing cool, anyway.” He handed Misti the crossed-out list with Miss Abernathy's notes.
List of Hiding Places for Scavenger Hunt
by Laurie Madison and Bud Wallace,
rising seventh graders,
as evaluated by Betty Abernathy
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      Â
1.
Buried in backyard (complete with treasure map and accessible by treasure mark, X marking spot.)
Digging absolutely prohibited
.
      Â
2.
Underneath a floorboard in cafeteria.
No. Unthinkable
.
      Â
3.
Hidden in chandelier outside Reynolds Auditorium.
No
.
      Â
4.
In dumbwaiter in cafeteria kitchen.
No
.
      Â
5.
Hidden behind the dancing frog painting in school entryway (second choice, bowl of fruit).
Absolutely not
.
      Â
6.
In the window seat in the library.
No
.
      Â
7.
In the catwalks of the auditorium. (Bud Wallace does not endorse this suggestion. Too dangerous.)
Completely unrealistic
.
      Â
8.
Hidden inside piano, attached to C flat wire.
No
.
      Â
9.
Underneath the globe in the library.
Allow students to manhandle a rare globe? I think not
.
     Â
10.
Hidden in the deluxe gerbil habitat, in Ponch and Jon's food dish. (Laurie Madison does not endorse this suggestion. Too dangerous.)
Completely unacceptable and unhygienic
.
Tools needed:
Shovel,
jigsaw
,
ladder
,
matte knife,
crowbar
,
hammer
,
nails
,
chisel
,
parchment
,
quill
and ink, etc.
Ink approved, if contained in a leakproof ballpoint pen.
Misti grimaced. “At least she's letting you use ink.
That's . . . something.”
Bud rolled his eyes. “Yeah, in pens, real big of her. She has her own ideas.”
Misti poked her shovel at the wall and shook her head. “Maybe her ideas are good?”
Laurie folded her arms. “Yeah, right. I seriously doubt that.”
Bud flattened the papers that he'd been clutching in his hands. “Fine, we'll at least give her a chance. There could be something here. She can't be totally lame, right?”
Laurie and Misti exchanged a glance. Then Laurie shrugged. “Okay. Let's see what she's got.”
Suggestions for Appropriate
Scavenger Hunt Hiding Places
by Betty Abernathy, scavenger hunt
co-supervisor
(Olivia Hutchins, co-supervisor, in absentia)
      Â
1. Hidden in a fake rock in front of the school.
      Â
2. Under the doormat on the front porch.
      Â
3. Above a door frame to a classroom
.
      Â
4. Pinned to the school activities bulletin board.
      Â
5. Hidden in an empty mail cubby.
      Â
6. Written on a blackboard.
      Â
7. Left with a friendly teacher or administrator. (This suggestion is ideal, because it could be used multiple times!)
      Â
8. On a windowsill INSIDE a room (perhaps behind a curtain for additional concealment).
Enjoy yourselves, kids!
Betty Abernathy
“Wow. You're right. These are worse than lame.” Bud stared at the paper in shock.
“Pinned to the
BULLETIN BOARD
?” Laurie gaped at Bud. “Hidden in a FAKE ROCK? Please tell me you were kidding about the fake rock.”
Bud shook his head. “It says right here, number one, fake rock.”
“We can't hide a clue in a freaking fake rock! We'll be laughed out of school!” Laurie could hear the mocking laughter now. That was all she needed, to be the weirdo who hid a clue in a fake rock.
“Maybe she's flexible about the fake rock,” Misti said.
“Maybe she'd go for one of those fake cans of deodorant or soup instead? Those can look pretty real.”
“Look on the bright side,” Bud said, folding the paper. “They won't laugh at us about the fake rock, because they'll be too busy laughing their butts off about the clue written on the blackboard.”
Misti leaned against the shovel thoughtfully. “You know, if you just write clues on a blackboard, it would be really easy for someone to change. It could mess up the whole scavenger hunt.”
Laurie shot her a dirty look. “We're not seriously considering the blackboard idea, Misti. Okay? Get real.”
Misti looked offended. “Well, I was just saying. It's a bad idea.” She stabbed the shovel in the dirt. “I'm AGREEING WITH YOU, OKAY?”
“Watch the shovel, Misti.” Bud didn't think the stabbed place in the dirt could be tied to them, but he wasn't taking any chances.
“Sorry, Misti,” Laurie said, kicking the ground to rough up the area around the stab mark. “It's just . . . Maria Tutweiler never would have made us write a clue on a stupid blackboard. She would've let us do something cool. I mean, a lame scavenger hunt is worse than no scavenger hunt at all!” Laurie blew a piece of hair out
of her face. “So what do we do?”
Bud shrugged. “Well, we should probablyâ”
“Shhh, Bud. Company.” Laurie nudged Bud with her foot and jerked her head toward the school. Candy Winkle and her group were coming around the corner.
“Seriously?” Bud said, smacking the ground. “Good grief, isn't anyplace around here private? This stinks!”
“Shovel, Misti,” Laurie said under her breath.
“Right.” Misti chucked the shovel into the shed just as Candy Winkle turned around and noticed them.
“Buck! Loni!” Candy waved at them. “And your little friend. Minty, isn't it?” She waved at Misti.
“Wave, Minty,” Laurie said under her breath.
Misti shot her a nasty look and then plastered on a huge fake smile and waved merrily at the tour group.
“Good grief, they're still here? How long does this tour last?” Bud whispered, struggling to his feet and waving too. He still hadn't gotten over the whole sandwich-on-eBay thing. The seller had even hinted that some of Bud's spit was on the crust and could be used to clone a whole new Bud. It was hard to forget that kind of thing.
“Just smile and wave, Buck.” Laurie waved heartily. She hadn't expected the grubby shed to be one of the attractions, but nothing Candy did surprised her anymore.
How to Fool Tour Groups Into Thinking
You're a Happy Camper When You'd Really
Rather See Them Sink Into the Ground and
Get Eaten by Slugs
by Laurie Madison, rising seventh grader
      Â
1. Smile. (Again. The smile really is a cure-all when it comes to tour groups.)
      Â
2. Wave. (That makes them focus on your hand, and not the shovel your friend just chucked into the shed.)
      Â
3. Imagine them being devoured by slugs. This will make your smile bigger. (Or large slavering rats or rabid venomous squirrels, if slugs aren't your thing.)
“Keep smiling,” Laurie said through clenched teeth.
The tour group oozed its way around Candy Winkle and toward the shed. The man with the floppy hat and Maria Tutweiler shirt was in the lead.
Candy was starting to look uncomfortable. That oozing wasn't a good sign. She'd lost control of the group.
“Thanks for saying hi, kids, but we're on a schedule. Gather round, everyone.” She waved her arms
ineffectually in an attempt to herd the group back into a manageable mass.