“She said that at the time, you were unable to proceed because your father had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.”
Leigh closed her eyes. Janet, of course. She knew everything, thanks to Leigh’s blind trust. “And?”
“Well, then she said you were interested now. I must admit I was surprised that she was the one to call and not you. That was my first indication that all was not... well, right. When I told her that you had to contact us, she got very annoyed. And rude. When I explained that because you were an adult now, we could only handle the inquiry with you, she calmed down a bit and said she’d have you write a letter. I suggested you telephone, but she said you were returning to New York and would be too busy. That also seemed peculiar to me.”
Leigh uttered a harsh laugh. “I’m not surprised. The woman who called is not my adoptive mother. I’m not sure who she is, but she claims to be my birth mother.”
“What name did she give you?”
“She said her name is Janet Bradley, but—” Leigh thought back to Spence’s revelation about his own inquiry “—I doubt that’s her real name.”
“Well, I can tell you that Janet Bradley is not the name of your birth mother.”
Leigh expelled the breath she’d been holding. “Thank you for calling. I appreciate it.”
“While I have you on the line, are you interested in making contact with your birth mother?”
Unprepared for the question, Leigh couldn’t speak. The woman went on, “The reason I’m asking is that I see there were a few more inquiries after we sent you that letter. I don’t know why they weren’t passed on to you or your adoptive parents.”
Or perhaps they were.
Leigh’s reply came without thought. “Yes,” she blurted, then without saying goodbye she turned off the phone and rushed to the master bedroom. She got down on her knees, raised the hem of the sham, pulled out the leather valise and lugged it onto the bed. Her fingers fumbled at the clasps. She pushed away the thought she couldn’t bear—that Janet had taken more than the letter.
Yes, it was still here—the ducky blanket. And yes, the baby outfit. Leigh rifled through the rest of the papers and documents. The letter from the agency was gone. Leigh lowered the lid. She couldn’t understand why Janet had taken only the letter.
Unless she plans to come back, nor knowing the agency would call me
.
Leigh felt sick to her stomach. Spencer was right. How could Janet possibly be her birth mother? Would a real mother behave like this? Sneak around? Lie? She crossed her legs on the bed, pressing her hand to her forehead. How she wanted someone to be here. To hold her tightly and love her. To surround her with the comfort and safety only a family could bring.
“Are you okay?”
Leigh’s head shot up. Jen stood in the doorway.
Even in mourning and clearly pregnant, she was beautiful. The long blond curls had been layered into a flattering style, and her petite frame balanced her pregnancy delicately. The black dress she wore was fashionable enough to serve as regular wear afterward. Leigh had to admit she looked good. Very good.
“Come in,” she said, and Jen stepped hesitantly into the room where the two had spent many a rainy afternoon.
Jen looked around, remarking how little things had changed. Leigh could only murmur, struck dumb by Jen’s very presence. She felt like a kid again and realized for the first time how familiar the sensation was.
Have I always felt intimidated by her?
Jen sat down in the rocking chair in front of the bay window. Leigh smiled. She had a flash of Jen at twelve, rocking imperially while she ordered Leigh about in one of their many pretend games.
Jen returned her smile. “It’s good to see you again, Leigh.”
“Really?” The question popped out meanly.
But Jen’s skin had always been much thicker than Leigh’s. She ignored the jab and rocked some more.
“Thank you for what you’ve done for Jamie,” she said.
Leigh frowned.
What have I done for Jamie?
“Spencer told me how you helped clear up that whole mess. About the fire,” she explained.
“Ah. Well, I didn’t really do anything, Jen. Jamie wanted to talk and I was there.”
Jen smiled. “Still the self-effacing Leigh, eh?”
Leigh’s face burned.
The sting of the glove. What have I done to deserve this?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jen.”
Jen laughed. The familiar tinkling laugh, but throatier now. “You know, I don’t think people change, do you?”
Leigh’s head was spinning. Talk with Jen had always been a meandering route through moods and bursts of creative energy. “I like to think they change a little bit,” she finally said.
Jen’s smile vanished. “Yeah, probably you’re right. A bit—some more than others. Do you think Spencer’s changed?”
It was a typical Jen question. Loaded. “We’ve all changed,” Leigh said evasively.
Another laugh. “Yes, the same old Leigh. I think you prove my point that people don’t change. You and Spencer. He’s still very much the old Spence—just under the surface, mind.”
Leigh pushed the valise aside. The conversation was becoming a little too bizarre. She started to get off the bed.
“Do you still have the ducky blanket?” Jen asked.
Leigh stopped. “Yes, I do. You remember it?”
“Of course I do. You talked about it so much. That and how you got your name. Those stories were very thrilling to me—my imagination got to work overtime.”
“You always did have a great imagination,” Leigh said.
A cloud drifted across Jen’s face. “Yes. I always used to have a lot of things.” She looked out the window.
Leigh studied her profile, pensive and almost sad. She recalled the few things Jamie had mentioned about growing up. What kind of life had Jen ended up with?
“You have a family,” Leigh pointed out.
Jen’s chewed on her lower lip. She looked across the room at Leigh and smiled. “You’re right. I do. And a husband who really loves me and—” she patted her swollen abdomen “—a little one on the way. A new beginning. We all need them, you know.”
Leigh glanced down at the suitcase. “Yes,” she murmured, “we do.”
“It took a lot of years,” Jen went on, “but I finally got mine. ’Course, it’s not quite the future I expected fifteen years ago.” She gave a breathless laugh. “Still, it’s a new beginning for me and I think it’ll be okay.”
Just okay?
As if reading her mind, Jen said, “I mean, my new hubby, Rob, is a lovely man. Very good to me. He adores me. But...”
“But?” Leigh had to ask.
“He’s not Spencer, that’s for sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s not fun and exciting the way Spencer used to be. Daring and outrageous.”
“Spencer was fun and exciting?”
Moody and reckless perhaps.
“In the beginning he was.” Jen leaned forward in the chair. “I’m sure you don’t want to talk about this, Leigh. Lord knows, it’s hardly the time or place, but then, I never had a good sense of timing, did I?” She laughed.
“No, you didn’t.”
Jen nodded. “That’s another thing I remember about you. Your honesty. You were always so dead straight. Anyway, I have to get this off my chest. For my new beginning, you understand.”
Leigh shrugged. She didn’t have the faintest idea where the conversation was headed. One never knew with Jen.
“I know you’ve always thought I betrayed you. And I guess I did. But you had a chance to get Spencer back and you never took it.”
So this is where we’re headed.
Leigh glanced longingly at the door. “It was all a long time ago, Jen. I’ve put it behind me.”
“I doubt it, Leigh. Because if the great egotistical Jen Logan couldn’t put it away on a shelf, neither could the morally upright Leigh Randall.”
Leigh’s face stiffened.
Jen could always hit the bull‘s-eye
. “Well, I have,” she said.
Jen waved a dismissive hand. “I know you better than you think I do, Randall. Just because I always acted the blond bimbo, don’t think for a second I was one underneath.”
“I’ve never thought that, Jen. You of all people should know.”
There was a tense silence. “Yeah, you’re right. I do know. Loyalty was your second name. I wasn’t very good at that part of our friendship, was I?”
Leigh sensed Jen didn’t want an answer to that. She kept silent.
“But there are some things I think you ought to know. I fell big for Spencer, too. I ate my heart out watching you with him, but I never made a move on him. I swear! Not until after you and he had that big fight about your going to Chapel Hill. You split up with him and I decided it was an open market.”
“An open market,” Leigh repeated, incredulous.
“Sure, let’s call a spade a spade, okay? So I asked him to take me to the prom, and since he’d already heard you’d decided to go with Tony, he agreed. Not very eagerly, I might add. Anyhow, the day before the prom Mary Ann Burnett came to me with this note from you. She said you asked her to pass it on to Spence. I don’t know why you didn’t take it yourself.”
“Because I’d offered to drive my father to his doctor’s appointment in Hatteras, and I didn’t have time to go looking for Spence. I told Tony I still wanted to go with Spence He...he was really great about it.” Leigh’s eyes filled. She had to stop.
“I figured something like that. So Mary Ann saw me first and showed me the note.”
“Why?”
“I think she knew how crazy I was about Spence and that I wouldn’t have a chance with you around. Anyway, you were heading off to Chapel Hill in September.”
“Always the matchmaker,” Leigh muttered.
“Huh?”
“Never mind. So you took the note and threw it away.”
After a moment Jen replied, “Something like that I read the note, saw that you asked Spence to meet you at the lighthouse. I threw it away and went over to his place to...kind of occupy him so he wouldn’t be out walking in the village and bump into you later.” She paused dramatically. “I was two months pregnant when you left Ocracoke in September.”
Leigh was too stunned to speak.
“I’m sorry about that. It was a rotten thing to do.”
Leigh cleared her throat. “I guess you managed to persuade Spencer I wasn’t really interested in him.”
“I thought I had. But the next night at the prom, he spent the whole evening following you around the dance floor with his eyes. He took me home early, said he had to go out fishing with his father the next morning. I knew he was lying.”
“Instead, he drove around the island.”
“Yup, and happened to be at the Creek when your boat capsized. You know the rest.”
“I know the rest all right.” Leigh massaged her temples. Her head was pounding. She looked across the room at Jen, sitting poised and comfortable in the rocking chair. The sweat and toil of confession had scarcely touched her.
Whereas Leigh was positive that, if she could see herself in a mirror right then, she’d appear seventy years old. She took a deep breath. “So why are you telling me all this now, Jen? It’s a bit late, don’t you think?”
“Late, yes. But I don’t want to carry the burden of it around with me anymore, Leigh. I did a terrible thing to you—”
“My best friend!”
Jen’s eyes flickered to her lap. When she raised her head, Leigh saw that her lower lip was trembling.
“Yes,” Jen said in a hoarse whisper, “your best friend. That was my sacrifice fifteen years ago.” She paused, averting her face from Leigh’s. Finally she turned back and said, “I’m not asking forgiveness, Leigh. That wouldn’t be fair. I only want to say I’m sorry for what happened. I saw a chance to be with Spencer and I gambled that it would all work out. I was wrong.”
“But you had your chance,” Leigh reminded her. “Just as you said I had my chance to patch things up with Spencer that night he drove up to Chapel Hill and I let him stand in the rain for an hour.”
“You were there!” Jen chuckled. “Gawd, Leigh, I can see you hiding behind your curtain or something the whole time he’s pounding on the door. You always were so...so hard. So stubborn.”
“Not really, Jen. I just didn’t parade my emotions the way you did.”
Another chuckle. “Touché, Randall.” She placed her hands on the armrests and pushed herself out of the rocking chair. “Guess I’d better return to my duties. I loved Sam, you know. He knew it, too. I was often a disappointment to him—” she lowered her head to smooth her dress “—but he always came first in my life, right after Jamie. I sent him money for years from whatever rinky-dink town Jamie and I were living in. It was damn hard.”
“Yes, I think it must have been. I’ve often wondered what you were doing and how you were managing. My mother and then Grandpa Sam told me some things.”